A Question of Failure?

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal:

it is the courage to continue that counts.”

-- Winston S. Churchill (1874-1965), statesman, writer

Why do bad things happen after achieving something?

Hey, the universe is all about balance. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst. Nothing is all that bad, so when it does happen… laugh, and the world will laugh with you!

Follow-up Question:  I'm scared that something bad might happen if I did something good. What should I do to embrace it?

Like I said, before, nothing is all that bad, so when it does happen… laugh, and the world will laugh with you! Stop taking life so seriously, especially if you’re doing something good. If what you’re doing is seriously good and selfless, just embrace it! If somebody does something bad to you for doing it, there are more problems with them than with you. Embrace your act of goodness, and then embrace God. Try to be happy always!

I regret my sacrifice because it just ruined my career. What should I do?

One of the good things about mistakes and failures is that you can always try again. You have to learn from your mistake or failure, however, and then have the wherewithal to move forward. Making mistakes and failing is the best way we can learn. Don’t view your career as ruined, view it as having a setback. Nobody likes a whiner, but someone who gets back up to continue the good fight is always viewed as a winner.

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”

-- Steve Maraboli

Is it positive to feel like the only person you can rely on is you and you don't need anyone to survive?

I am positive I can rely on myself, just as I am positive I can rely on myself to ask for assistance if I truly need it. Having gone through survival training, I’m pretty confident I can survive, but it sure would be nice to have someone else with me in case of an emergency, the time when having help is really appreciated. There is nothing wrong with feeling positive about your ability to make it on your own. Always be ready to give 100% of yourself along your path, but watch out for potholes.

Do you think everyone has strengths and weaknesses?

This isn’t a thought, it’s a truism. Nobody is perfect, and if they think they are refer back to the fact that nobody is perfect. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. 

How do I let go of the forever love that wasn't forever?

Embrace the fact that you made a monumental mistake, and then move on. This isn’t difficult to grasp. We all make mistakes and we should have been brought up as children to expect we will. With this knowledge, we would probably be better prepared to deal with failure when it comes. As it is, recognize failure as an opportunity to learn. Understand where you went wrong and be better prepared the next time. Most importantly, strive to be happy always, regardless of what happens. It is life, after all.

“Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “I am falling to the floor crying,” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it — you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn’t paint it very well.”

-- Richard Siken

Do you think that in life, we are alone?

When you take away everything else, all we have is ourselves. When you look at those around you, they have their own priorities, as do you. Can you truly rely on someone who, as good and selfless as they are, they are only one person? You may not be at the top of their priority list. Truly, the only person you should ever trust to rely on… is you. If you can’t rely on yourself how in God’s good name can you possibly put your trust in someone else?

Do you think everyone has strengths and weaknesses?

This isn’t a thought, it’s a truism. Nobody is perfect, and if they think they are refer back to the fact that nobody is perfect. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

Isn't "love at first sight" a bit superficial? Why do people consider it romantic?

“Lust at first sight” is probably more correct.

“If they substituted the word 'Lust' for 'Love' in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth.”

-- Sylvia Plath 

What movie reminds you the most of your high school years?

Anthony Michael Hall as Geek in “Sixteen Candles”

How would life be if the internet did not exist?

Our free time would consist of getting more done. We’d actually go outside and enjoy life in the real world.

Who first coined the phrase "health, wealth, and happiness"?

Sounds like someone who doesn’t understand that wealth can’t buy true happiness. I can’t believe that without true happiness you can be all that healthy, mentally, or physically. I have a quote for you:

“If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.”

-- Elbert Hubbard

What is the choice that you make or act upon?

I always strive to make good choices and decisions. Good choices or decisions are the only ones worth acting upon. To act upon bad ones would probably garner bad consequences as a result.

Can someone truly do a complete “180” after multiple infidelities and be completely devoted to you?

It is very difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. Infidelities are an addiction much like any other. It is tough to kick the habit. 

Response: Thanks Tony,

I definitely agree with you on that for sure.

I guess for me, it’s just a matter of CAN someone change if they really want too when it involves addictions that have lasted multiple years.

I equate it to being a drug addict and while I know that addicts can/do recover his specific types of addictions are ones that are readily available and not as “stigmatized” as actually using drugs.

for example: porn is always one click away, gambling is 100% legal where we live and affairs are also one click away(when they start out online).

That is why I have a hard time accepting that he won’t do those things again, down there road.

My reply:  True love is hard to come by and might escape most of us. Sometimes we have to settle for what we find so we can focus our efforts on being happy always. What we settle for might turn into true love, or we might decide it’s time to move on at some point. I find that striving to be happy always has been useful as a solid second to true love. 

Response: Thank you Tony,

You’re absolutely right, it IS hard to come by(true love) and for me, love is 100% a VERB and is something that is nothing like the movies make it out to be.

While it was definitely harder to stay with him verses walking away and preventing myself from more hurt) I stayed because I truly DO love him and because I see the changes he’s made every single day.

That said, I don’t ever want to be anyone’s “second choice” so, I hope that he’s working this hard because he wants to be here and NOT because of the fear of change/complacency. 

When can we say that learning has occurred?

Uh… When you’ve learned something? Is this another trick question?  How about this quote from Albert Einstein:

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.