A Question of Respect

“Courage is the starting point of everything good. To love another is to automatically feed the fire of courage. We cannot be humiliated when we are fighting for someone or something we love. We will not give up when we are fighting for loved ones. As we evolve, our loved ones extend out from our family to include all of humanity. Courage and confidence will grow over the years with practice and self-awareness. We are never alone. God will help us. Such is the courage which gains respect from others. More importantly, we gain respect for ourselves.”

-- Donna Goddard, author

What is the importance of respecting others regardless of having the desire?

Respect begets respect. How you act has a great bearing on how others act toward you. I can respect an opponent and not like one thing about them. I don’t like most people in Congress, but I respect their ability to con their constituents into believing their BS so they could get elected, and to continue to be reelected even though they have delivered nothing they promised. You can respect someone and still feel free to politely explain your opinion of them. Honesty and respect - a hard pair to come by.

If every decision determines my fate, how do I decide what to pursue if each choice holds a heavyweight?

So, your decision is whether to be brave? This to may determine your fate. You can choose to stand and fight, to seize the day, or you can run and be shot in the back or live knowing you ran. The weight is the difficulty of the challenge, and life is all about confronting challenges and learning from them. You will fail. Know that failure is the best way we learn, providing we get up and try again. How you live life, your choices and decisions, have much do with defining who you are and, more importantly, why.

Seasoned happiness is intangible and immeasurable; prosperity is measurable. How do we relate those two easily, or can’t we?

True happiness is so very measurable and tangible. For those who know it, it is everything from which all else springs. You can choose to relate happiness to prosperity, but being prosperous isn’t necessary to happiness, nor is happiness a necessary element to prosperity.

"Happiness is prosperity combined with virtue"

-- Aristotle (385 BC-322BC), philosopher. polymath

Have we ever truly learned from history?

You’re kidding, right? No matter how many terrorists we kill, they keep on coming. No matter how many leaders we punish for genocide, there is still genocide and insane leadership. Dropping two atomic weapons in WW-II did not stop any country from developing even more destructive weapons. The “war to end all wars” failed miserably. And, many African-Americans belong to the party of the KKK and Jim Crow, the very political party that forced them into slavery. No, we never really learn from history because real history isn’t taught. 

I am lazy and unambitious. Is that a good enough reason for leaving America?

My first blush would be to say, “That works for me. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.” But you are guaranteed by the Constitution to your own pursuit of happiness. If it makes you happy to be lazy and unambitious, so be it. The only thing I would ask is that you don’t use my hard-earned money to do it, as that would be taking away from my pursuit of happiness and you don’t have the right to steal from me, or anyone else who works hard to get ahead in this great country.

A Reader Comment: Unfortunately, that’s not how government money works. Once you pay that money, it’s no longer your money and the cause it goes to (rightfully you should know) but ultimately cannot stop.

My Response: We do tend to forget who our government belongs to. Per Abraham Lincoln, “that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” It really doesn’t belong to the politicians, as much as they might like it to.

“Obviously, if politicians believe that voters cannot be trusted with the truth, democracy is seriously at risk. For a democracy to function it is essential that a government respects the people and takes them seriously, not only those that have voted for that government, but all people. Furthermore, in order to exercise their democratic rights properly, people should be informed as fully as possible.”

-- Barend ter Haar, professor, author

What is the most unique way to do something common?

Have you ever seen me golf? A common sport that I make totally unique. An interactive endeavor for those around me: Point out a hazard and, even if it’s behind me, I’ll manage to hit it. 

How do I explain all the what, why, and what, where, and, how, this, that, when, so, and so what of, for and about myself on the inside, outside, inside-out and outside-in with everything, anything, all things, something and whatever else?

You are. Everything else requires introspection, but it's all there except, perhaps the "why" of you.  This, you may never understand.  Few really do.  If you aren’t happy with being, why should anyone else be? And, if they aren’t happy with that, who really and truly gives a fig? 

How do you know if you love someone but are not in love with them?

I dearly love a darling woman I have known for years. She is 25-30 odd years my junior, but I am not “in love” with her. She is more like another daughter to me, or a very dear friend. Being “in love” dictates a desire for a deeper relationship, that of lovers. I have thought about this, but it just isn’t there. If you don’t feel that kind of love, then you answer your own question.

"I love you." That means I'm not just here for the pretty parts. I'm here no matter what.

-- Author Unknown

What’s the best motivational quote you’ve heard?

Lead, follow, or get out of the way!

Do you agree with this statement ‘‘you are a product of your surroundings”?

To a point. Being a “product of your surroundings” is a choice. Every base I was stationed at in the military presented its own unique surroundings. You could stay on base and not become part of the community, or you could get out among them and learn the culture. You begin to become a “local” after a while, a “product” of your surroundings. It is what it is until it isn’t, and it isn’t when you leave. You go to the next base and assimilate all over again.

How have people in your life disappointed you?

Not really. It’s a few people I don’t know, but interact with on my blog, and on this site, that tend to disappoint. They seem to fish for an argument to the answer they asked me for, or they try to start an argument because they read my answer and it isn’t what they believe. Having an opinion seems to be not what people are after. One would almost think they’re really just interested in affirmation of their own issues. I usually refer to this group as the League of the Perpetually Offended, and there is no winning any conversation with them so I try not to. My readers, however, have often stepped in to handle such things for me.

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

-- Jodi Picoult, writer, author

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

A Question of Hope

What is your 2020 message of hope to your country?

Vote for the right candidate, for with socialism there is no hope for our country. But, either way, our leaders have put us on a slippery slope to civil war or revolution that only we, the people, can change:

“There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half for each state. What country before ever existed a century and half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it’s natural manure.”  -- Thomas Jefferson

 ***************************************************

My heart is not feeling satisfied. I always want something. What should I do?

Sate your desires, would be a thought. Satisfy your heart. Or, desire a bit less and, instead, focus your desire on simply striving to be happy always.

Why is it that everyone is in the pursue of a good life?

Well, why would anyone choose to pursue a bad life? I think that the majority of us are searching for the elusive happiness that they don’t realize they already have within them. This isn’t all that difficult. Get rid of all the drama in life and stop looking for happiness in all the wrong places. People need to understand that all they need do is make the choice to be happy always. It really is that simple. 

What is your thought and/or ideas with the phrase Unpacking the Self?

Unpack all of the baggage you carry around and lay it out so you can determine what to take to Goodwill or trash altogether. What’s left is in need of some introspection before putting up on a shelf and showing your "self" off.

“Trust yourself. Let self-awareness be your science. Let self-discovery be your research. Let your intuition be your expert. Let your endless curiosity be your teacher. And, above all, find out what makes you smile. That is the most important study you can ever undertake.”

-- Vironika Tugaleva, author, poet

What price have you paid to be yourself?

Being someone who refuses to kiss someone’s ass to get ahead, I have sacrificed a bit. For years, in the military, I was put in for the annual Intelligence NCO of the Year Award. For years I was always the runnerup. Then, I had a friend get assigned to headquarters where he heard the reason I never won was that I don’t play the game. In intelligence, you quickly learn that playing games can get people killed. I told my commanders to stop putting me in for the award. This is the same reason I refused a special assignment to Air Force 1 and Area 51. When it came time to retire I was kept in for the “good of the Air Force” and served another couple of years. I probably screwed myself out of the next rank by not puckering up, but that just wasn’t me.

What makes life worth living?

Happiness. Happiness is all about learning how to make ethically right choices and decisions in life. When you learn to do this, you keep unwanted drama from your orbit and life is so much better.

What lesson of the past is repeated far too often?

Believing what you’re told or what you read. It is good evidence that we’re too lazy to do our own research. Socialism doesn't work.  We repeat this mistake constantly. History is all about how gullible we are to believe what we’re spoonfed by those who write it.

Comment: Well then. I'll just ignore you and believe everything else. That seems the best solution. 

My Response: That is probably best, especially if you’re going to "believe everything else" and ignore my answer.. 

“Do not be ready to listen to anyone who is ready to show you your past mistakes.  Instead, be ready to listen to someone who is ready to show you the untold lessons from your past mistakes so that you may be able to skip your future mistakes”

-- Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, author, philosopher

Have you ever found something simple others found hard?

Being happy always seems to be difficult for most people. I hear them shifting blame for their circumstances without realizing, ultimately, it was their choice or decision that put them where they are. Own your choices and decisions, learn lessons from them, mentor others with what you learn, and move on down your path.

If your husband (or ex-husband) wanted you to get an abortion, but you chose to have the baby, would you ever tell that child her father didn't want her?

When the child became an adult, I think it would be incumbent on any good father to admit to the emotional mistake he almost made, so the child, faced with the same dilemma, might think about letting the innocence of their own have the chance for life.

What was the worst thing that someone said they hated about their appearance which you loved?

Their breasts being too small. I love women with small breasts. I think they're cute. But, it isn’t about the way you look, it’s all about the way you carry it. Make the most of what God gave you and, if you weren’t given much, refer back to, “Make the most out of what God gave you.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and more people should be seeing what is inside more than what is out.

“Have you ever been tempted to adjust your appearance, your attitude, or the way you behave in an attempt to fit in with someone? You may think you admire this person, and that's the reason you are considering alterations that are very unusual for you. But could it be, that you actually fear this person? Not in the physical sense - but perhaps you fear that this person won't have a high opinion of you if you behave like... well, like yourself? If so, take back your identity. Be proud of who you are, and don't let anyone intimidate you.”

-- Nitya Prakash, author

What are some examples of your favorite nonexistent items from your time served in the U.S. Military?

Comradery with other military members and our mutual respect for our patriotism; love for the flag, the “rule of law,” and the Constitution. There are those who never find these, but the majority do and are willing to die for them.

Has 2020 been good to anyone?

I think it’s been pretty good but, then, I take life as it comes to me. I like to pay attention to the present and now dwell on the past or worry about the future. make good decisions and choices now, and get rid of any drama that might interfere with happiness. If we simply strive to be happy always, especially in the now, the world might be much better for everyone.

It's been a month since my dad passed away and my life is still kind of unorganized. How can I organize once again?

My dad passed in April of 2019 and I’m still working on this. Take it one day at a time and work on the important issues as they present themselves. You can stress over getting it all done ASAP, but you will miss much. I also have my mother to worry about and take care of which is another “wrinkle” in the day. Strive to be happy always and don’t worry too much about the organization. Everything will come together in time. 

How did your life change when you got over your entitlement complex?

That was the good thing about being born in 1953. The only “entitlement” I knew was working hard for everything I got. My parents were from that generation that actually parented.

What power does being average hold?

On a scale of 1 to 10, probably a power of 5. You know, average.

“Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.” 

-- Robert G. Allen, author, investment advisor

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning the Everything of Nothing

“What a pitiful mass of dangerous nothing”

-- Charles Bukowski (1920-1994), poet, novelist, writer

If nothing exists, does nothing become everything?

“Nothing” only exists because we have defined it as the absence of something. But our definition is wrong because nothing doesn’t actually exist. If one says there is nothing in an absolute vacuum they would be wrong, as no vacuum is absolute. If I stated I had nothing, then I would be wrong unless I’m dead, and even then I have a soul. So, nothing doesn’t really exist, therefore, it cannot become everything unless we define everything as nothing. But, I hesitate to point out that, if nothing is the absence of something, then nothing still can’t be everything. Luckily, I still have bourbon so I can forget this question and, more importantly, my answer.

Why are ugly or non-attractive people are called mad or crazy and being ignored? Even if they do the right things people point out mistakes in them and humiliate and disgraced them in front of other people?

It says more about those who judge than the target of their cruel derision.

What happens when you are forced to get married to somebody so you don't get disowned?

You have put everyone else’s desires above your own happiness. Let them disown you. Better to be your own person for the rest of your life than to stroke someone else’s ego by admitting they have complete control over your choices and decisions.

What makes something complete?

When it is finished being made? When it’s all there? Did I not understand the question? 

“I felt after I finished Slaughterhouse-Five that I didn’t have to write at all anymore if I didn’t want to. It was the end of some sort of career. I don’t know why, exactly. I suppose that flowers, when they’re through blooming, have some sort of awareness of some purpose having been served. Flowers didn’t ask to be flowers and I didn’t ask to be me. At the end of Slaughterhouse-Five…I had a shutting-off feeling…that I had done what I was supposed to do and everything was OK .”

-- Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007), writer, author

How would one define "discomfort" in a motivational way?

Negative reinforcement. Motivation by discomfort.  Spanking is a form of this, providing they don't begin to enjoy it.  Although, I think Donatien Alphonse François might have something to say on the subject and it's motivation, if any.

You have to create a successful message. What steps will you consider to achieve this objective?

Consider who your audience is, then keep it short and to the point.

What do you call a man cheating on his wife?

Unhappy.

“Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.”

-- Scott Dikkers, writer, speaker, entrepreneur

Because of the Big Bang and its effect across time and space from our actions, can we ever be sure we are doing the right thing?

Our actions have nothing to do with any effect The “Big Bang” has had on time and space since before we were here. And, the effect of the “Big Bang” will continue to be felt long after we cease to exist. You give us way too much credit.

Up to this point in your life, what have you seen that is similar in all human responses to happiness?

Smiling and laughter! Confusion from those who have no clue. I will be 67 tomorrow and expect to live to a ripe old age, so this all might change, though I doubt it.

Who is happy with themselves?

I am exceedingly happy with myself. I have no reason not to be. It helps if you learn to be happy always!

“I beg you. With all my heart and soul, I beg you. Please be happy. The truth is, there are no scales to balance, we can all be happy. I beg you, please be happy, your story exists, instead of the billions upon billions upon billions of other stories that could have been lived. Through whatever means, even though it can be hard, or even close to impossible, be happy, somehow, be happy.”

-- Michael James Payne, author, writer

What, as a parent, could you not believe you had to explain to another parent?

There are no bad children, just bad parents. 

If I read your response, one you've crafted to help, will it teach me a fact or teach me to 'think'?

If I have a fact, I’ll tell you. But, I’d rather teach you to think about the fact or about what I say. Facts and information do you no good unless you can think about them and do so in the right context.

‘Life is an opportunity, benefit from it’. ‘Life is luck, make it’. ‘ life is love, enjoy it.‘ Life is a dream, realize it. life is a challenge, meet it. do you agree? Why? And why did you like this line?

I don’t agree fully. Life is an opportunity, go for it. Life isn’t luck, it’s what you make of it. But, Life is a dream you should realize, and a challenge you should meet. Whatever you feel life is supposed to be, you should strive to be happy always while you live it.

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. 

-- Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962), acrtess, model, singer

What do you do if something gets stuck in your nose?

Everything Katherine said, and stop shoving stuff up your nose.

Can anyone live in their 70s and never understand the importance of love and peace?

Yes. My father lived to be 89 and I don’t think he really understood the importance of them. Everyone should strive to be happy always, love everyone they can, and live in peace.

How did the way affect me? I've had the ying-yang tattooed since I was 17 years old but never took it seriously so I was full of regret and sad sometimes for no apparent reason at first. Could I have been unconsciously following that faith into good?

The Way is about balance, and more times than not, what isn’t there. The best way to find your path is to stop looking for it and take the first step. Always seek good, always follow a sense of moral ethics, and always strive to be happy.

“You enter the forest

at the darkest point,

where there is no path.

Where there is a way or path,

it is someone else's path.

You are not on your own path.

If you follow someone else's way,

you are not going to realize

your potential.”

-- Joseph Campbell (1904-1987), professor

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center. 

A Question of Failure?

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal:

it is the courage to continue that counts.”

-- Winston S. Churchill (1874-1965), statesman, writer

Why do bad things happen after achieving something?

Hey, the universe is all about balance. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst. Nothing is all that bad, so when it does happen… laugh, and the world will laugh with you!

Follow-up Question:  I'm scared that something bad might happen if I did something good. What should I do to embrace it?

Like I said, before, nothing is all that bad, so when it does happen… laugh, and the world will laugh with you! Stop taking life so seriously, especially if you’re doing something good. If what you’re doing is seriously good and selfless, just embrace it! If somebody does something bad to you for doing it, there are more problems with them than with you. Embrace your act of goodness, and then embrace God. Try to be happy always!

I regret my sacrifice because it just ruined my career. What should I do?

One of the good things about mistakes and failures is that you can always try again. You have to learn from your mistake or failure, however, and then have the wherewithal to move forward. Making mistakes and failing is the best way we can learn. Don’t view your career as ruined, view it as having a setback. Nobody likes a whiner, but someone who gets back up to continue the good fight is always viewed as a winner.

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”

-- Steve Maraboli

Is it positive to feel like the only person you can rely on is you and you don't need anyone to survive?

I am positive I can rely on myself, just as I am positive I can rely on myself to ask for assistance if I truly need it. Having gone through survival training, I’m pretty confident I can survive, but it sure would be nice to have someone else with me in case of an emergency, the time when having help is really appreciated. There is nothing wrong with feeling positive about your ability to make it on your own. Always be ready to give 100% of yourself along your path, but watch out for potholes.

Do you think everyone has strengths and weaknesses?

This isn’t a thought, it’s a truism. Nobody is perfect, and if they think they are refer back to the fact that nobody is perfect. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. 

How do I let go of the forever love that wasn't forever?

Embrace the fact that you made a monumental mistake, and then move on. This isn’t difficult to grasp. We all make mistakes and we should have been brought up as children to expect we will. With this knowledge, we would probably be better prepared to deal with failure when it comes. As it is, recognize failure as an opportunity to learn. Understand where you went wrong and be better prepared the next time. Most importantly, strive to be happy always, regardless of what happens. It is life, after all.

“Eventually something you love is going to be taken away. And then you will fall to the floor crying. And then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “I am falling to the floor crying,” but there’s an element of the ridiculous to it — you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you’re on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn’t paint it very well.”

-- Richard Siken

Do you think that in life, we are alone?

When you take away everything else, all we have is ourselves. When you look at those around you, they have their own priorities, as do you. Can you truly rely on someone who, as good and selfless as they are, they are only one person? You may not be at the top of their priority list. Truly, the only person you should ever trust to rely on… is you. If you can’t rely on yourself how in God’s good name can you possibly put your trust in someone else?

Do you think everyone has strengths and weaknesses?

This isn’t a thought, it’s a truism. Nobody is perfect, and if they think they are refer back to the fact that nobody is perfect. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

Isn't "love at first sight" a bit superficial? Why do people consider it romantic?

“Lust at first sight” is probably more correct.

“If they substituted the word 'Lust' for 'Love' in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth.”

-- Sylvia Plath 

What movie reminds you the most of your high school years?

Anthony Michael Hall as Geek in “Sixteen Candles”

How would life be if the internet did not exist?

Our free time would consist of getting more done. We’d actually go outside and enjoy life in the real world.

Who first coined the phrase "health, wealth, and happiness"?

Sounds like someone who doesn’t understand that wealth can’t buy true happiness. I can’t believe that without true happiness you can be all that healthy, mentally, or physically. I have a quote for you:

“If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.”

-- Elbert Hubbard

What is the choice that you make or act upon?

I always strive to make good choices and decisions. Good choices or decisions are the only ones worth acting upon. To act upon bad ones would probably garner bad consequences as a result.

Can someone truly do a complete “180” after multiple infidelities and be completely devoted to you?

It is very difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. Infidelities are an addiction much like any other. It is tough to kick the habit. 

Response: Thanks Tony,

I definitely agree with you on that for sure.

I guess for me, it’s just a matter of CAN someone change if they really want too when it involves addictions that have lasted multiple years.

I equate it to being a drug addict and while I know that addicts can/do recover his specific types of addictions are ones that are readily available and not as “stigmatized” as actually using drugs.

for example: porn is always one click away, gambling is 100% legal where we live and affairs are also one click away(when they start out online).

That is why I have a hard time accepting that he won’t do those things again, down there road.

My reply:  True love is hard to come by and might escape most of us. Sometimes we have to settle for what we find so we can focus our efforts on being happy always. What we settle for might turn into true love, or we might decide it’s time to move on at some point. I find that striving to be happy always has been useful as a solid second to true love. 

Response: Thank you Tony,

You’re absolutely right, it IS hard to come by(true love) and for me, love is 100% a VERB and is something that is nothing like the movies make it out to be.

While it was definitely harder to stay with him verses walking away and preventing myself from more hurt) I stayed because I truly DO love him and because I see the changes he’s made every single day.

That said, I don’t ever want to be anyone’s “second choice” so, I hope that he’s working this hard because he wants to be here and NOT because of the fear of change/complacency. 

When can we say that learning has occurred?

Uh… When you’ve learned something? Is this another trick question?  How about this quote from Albert Einstein:

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning the Future

"Carrying a pack of toilet paper in a plastic bag with an advertisement for something foreign while wearing a pair of Montana jeans with a multicolor ballpoint pen sticking out of your pocket: In the Soviet Union, such a person would have been the object of extreme envy."

-- Yekaterina Klementyeva, writer

What in 2020 has caused you the most distress? Do you think your life will ever return to how it was before this momentous year?

Taking care of my aging mother during COVID-19. My life, like everyone else’s, will return to a “new normal” once this little unpleasantness is over. Between the epidemic and still having only one political party working in Congress after four years, and probably four more, I doubt if we’ll ever be the same in my lifetime.

Why do we as a culture worship celebrities and people who are rich? Why can’t we just be happy with our lives instead?

We have created a culture based on materialism, not on true happiness. We raise children to believe happiness comes through money, and they work till they die not realizing the happiness they feel is a sham. Better to just find a job you love, mass money or not, and learn to be happy always before going after that too much-coveted “golden ring.” 

Between the professional and personal qualities of a teacher, which ones are perceived to be more important? Is there really such a thing as more important than the other?

I’d give real money just to have teachers teach reality, not their personal take on it. Teach real history, not the winner’s version of it. Teach why history, reading, writing, arithmetic, and happiness, are important to learn. Students would be well served to stop tearing down history and start learning the lessons of it before they doom themselves to a future based on the repetition of mistakes made in the past.

“The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”

-- T.H. White (1906-1964), author, The Once and Future King

Will the world become a better place on November 4?

Depends on who is elected as leader of the “Free World.” Is Alzheimer's a new vetting criterion for President? If so, maybe the Vice-President should be our primary choice since their party will probably “off” the President in short order and insert them in the position anyway. The Presidency has become a joke. How much could we have accomplished if we’d spent all this time working together instead of acting like spoiled children?

Do opinions come above connections?

If you’re stupid enough to believe what you’re told. Better you should listen to what you’re told and then go out and hear all sides to a topic before you open your pie hole and risk braying like the rest of the jackasses. People who base their opinions on other people’s opinions are people who make up anarchist hate groups. Better to be your own person and learn to work together with all lives toward a common goal.

Will 2020 become a year to remember 50 years from now, or are we all doomed?

Will we be able to freely read the books we want and pursue happiness? Not if the socialists have their way. If socialism takes over, 50 years from now our children and grandchildren will be embroiled in a revolution to overthrow the communist party.

“Because the horror of Communism, Stalinism, is not that bad people do bad things — they always do. It's that good people do horrible things thinking they are doing something great."

-- Slavoj Žižek, radical leftist philosopher (yes, I agree, he makes my argument)

Why do I feel so much happier when I cut off social media completely out of my life?

Drama overload. We are all so much happier when we cut the drama from our lives. The addiction to social media is akin to an addiction to soap operas on television, which have been replaced by “reality” TV which really isn’t, for the most part. When we go outside, take a deep breath, and visit “face to face” with family and friends, we give our minds a much-needed escape from the “escape” we’ve been trained to accept and which is actually just an indoctrination technique used by any socialist state to push their hidden agenda. This is why people like me are constantly at odds with social media sites, the League of the Perpetually Offended, closing us down.

What do you think of these phrases of Maxim Gorky: "…talent is faith in oneself, in oneself's power" and "talent is just a love toward the process of work"?

Gorky would seem to be full of… faith. If you have full faith in yourself, you can still fall flat where talent is concerned, and even if you love your work to death, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re any good at it. Talent is about faith and process, and ability, and knowledge, and other people’s opinions, especially those who are so much better at what you do.

A lot of what is most beautiful about the world arises from struggle?

This is, almost, better as a statement. I think “most beautiful” might be the problem here. There is much natural beauty in the world that can rival anything acquired through struggle. But, the struggle will make you appreciate more the beauty which arises from it.

"When someone asks about a hard time in our lives, most of us take a second and go back to that moment. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and other times it can be absolutely heartbreaking. A lot of us don’t want to go there, so it can be hard to let others peer into that part of our lives. Even when you’re just getting started in life — like I am. What we often don’t recognize, though, is the beauty in the midst of our trials."

-- Chelsea Crockett, writer, author, blogger

In your opinion, how much is a human life worth? Why?

All life is valuable, just like all lives matter. The intrinsic value of that life, if one wished to assign value to it, would be in the hands of those who know the person. How selfless and giving; how good of a friend, how much they loved, what they contribute to society, and others. But, in the end, all life has value and should be cherished, especially those yet to be born and cannot speak for themselves, for in these we find our future and a definition of who we are by how we treat them.

What is one thing you were excited to try but lost enthusiasm once you tried it?

Rocky Mountain Oysters. They really aren’t all that, any more than slurping down roasted bull’s eyeballs are an aphrodisiac. 

Do you think that most people in your life are trying to boost you up or pull you down?

I haven’t really paid much attention to it. We’re all too busy just trying to get by, right now, with COVID and such. Besides, that’s too much drama to worry about. I’d rather concentrate my efforts on staying happy always. 

“There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.”

-- Joss Whedon, director, producer, writer

How does anybody win when one side's baseline is "You're wrong but you have a right to be wrong" and the other's baseline is "You're wrong and I will use the power of government to force you to do the right thing"? How can that possibly end?

Nobody does. One side admits you have a right to your opinion, and the other side says you have the right to have “our” opinion, or the government will force you to have our opinion. In order to force your opinion, however, you have to take away guns, inalienable rights, and other people’s money. If that doesn’t work, ovens and showers will be built so we can repeat the history of the Holocaust, the history they won’t teach in the schools tasked to indoctrinate you into their "new world order."

What are the things you did that you knew was wrong but with the right intentions?

I told myself I was holding my marriage together for 20 years for the sake of the children. My intentions were well based, but this was wrong and so detrimental to them. In reality and hindsight, I was holding it together because I didn’t want to admit the marriage was a failure and a mistake. My advice to marriages in trouble now is to end it as soon as possible, if it can’t be salvaged, and part friends who made an error. Better to part before children muddy the relationship, and better to part before one of you can bend the other one over and use them for the rest of their lives as antoher paycheck. 

Does indecisiveness usually mean all the options are equally good?

Not necessarily. Take the choice between ice cream and cake. I love both of them, but one is more fattening than the other, or I’m lactose intolerant, in which case one is better than the other even though I love them both. I’m indecisive because I’m not sure if I want to be fatter or be fatter and throw up.

Comment: I don’t understand. Do you know which is the better option or not? You say one is more fattening so it’s, therefore, the worse option? Okay, well then I guess you’re not indecisive. You know the better option.

My answer:  Indecisiveness doesn’t usually mean all options are equally good. There are other factors to consider that drive indecisiveness beside whether they're "equally good."

"There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil. The man who is wrong still retains some respect for truth, if only by accepting the responsibility of choice. But the man in the middle is the knave who blanks out the truth in order to pretend that no choice or values exist, who is willing to sit out the course of any battle, willing to cash in on the blood of the innocent or to crawl on his belly to the guilty, who dispenses justice by condemning both the robber and the robbed to jail, who solves conflicts by ordering the thinker and the fool to meet each other halfway. In any compromise between food and poison, it is only death that can win. In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit. In that transfusion of blood which drains the good to feed the evil, the compromise is the transmitting rubber tube."

-- Ayn Rand (1905-1982), author, Atlas Shrugged

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

The Pope's Support for Gay Marriage

“Homosexuals have a right to be part of the family.  They’re children of God and have a right to a family. Nobody should be thrown out, or be made miserable because of it.”

-- Pope Francis

It is what it is until it isn't. But, if it isn't, what does that tell us about what we thought it was? God forbid I accuse the Catholic Church of leading us down a shaky path, with some hidden agenda, for the past 2100 years. Is this an admission that the Holy Scripture really doesn't have any leg to stand on when it comes to gay relationships, true love between two consenting adults of the same gender?

I will admit there is much to say about just sleeping around, but the Bible really does not address true and honest love between consenting members of the same sex. Even clergy are getting behind this move. A "prominent" Jesuit priest, Rev. James Martin, said, "I think it’s a big step forward. In the past, even civil unions were frowned upon in many quarters of the church. He is putting his weight behind legal recognition of same-sex civil unions." But, the Pope is also trying to satisfy naysayers by only recognizing "civil" unions.

Personally, I have been fighting this battle for gay rights for as long as I can remember. I grew up just south of San Francisco, on the Monterey Peninsula, deep among them. I learned to be tolerant and understanding, and this was not always in keeping with the contrarian ideas of my friends. There are good and bad in every group, just as there are sick and twisted. The good ones always seem to get the raw end of things. One of the reason's I became an ordained minister was to perform civil ceremonies for those in the LGBT community who were unable to find anyone else. True love is hard enough to find, even among straight couples.  I also became ordained to stand up for peaceful Islam and preach tolerance toward one another. Life is all about learning, tolerance, learning tolerance, and being happy always.  We tend to forget this.

To the LGBTQ etc. etc. community, I can only say, change is a slow process, but we are getting there.  The best thing some of you can do is lose the perpetual "chip" on your shoulder and work with us to accomplish the goal.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning Yourself

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

-- Frank Zappa

What should I do first, second, and so on?

Learn to be happy always, find a focus, move forward smiling, succeed.

What does it mean to be frugal? (real-life meaning, not dictionary definition)

You buy what you really need and you do what you have to. Frugal, to me, is all about not being wasteful. Use your time constructively and don’t be materialistic in your spending.

Do you think we need another person to discover ourselves?

If you want to discover your emotional self, yes. It is hard to discover your reactions to love, friendship, loneliness, etc., without interacting with someone else.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), lawyer, political ethicist

Would you rather work hard today and be happy later or be happy today and work hard later?

The question comes from the wrong perspective. I’d rather be happy always! Hard work is simply a task that shouldn’t have any bearing on our happiness. Complete the task and it is a job well-done, you will still be happy. Fail at the job and consider it a learning experience, smile and move forward into the task again with more knowledge and renewed vigor.

What have you learned from exercises and lessons?

Uh... What I needed to know? Is this another trick question?

Do you love yourself? Why should you and how would you consistently love yourself?

Yes! I always try to do the right thing. I try to be selfless when it comes to others. I try to maintain an ethical sense of principles. I am not perfect, this I know, and I am comfortable with this. No one can be perfect, but I try to be the best I can be. I consistently love myself because I’m not afraid to try. Do I succeed? Not as much as I would hope, but, again, I’m not perfect. If you can’t love yourself, if you're afraid to try, how do you expect to truly love someone else?

“Perhaps we shall learn, as we pass through this age, that the 'other self" is more powerful than the physical self we see when we look into a mirror.”

-- Napoleon Hill (1883-1970), self-help author

Do class differences bother you?

Class differences are all about choice, and who am I to judge the choices other people make? They pre-judge themselves by their choices. If you choose to use the “F” word in every sentence, you won’t be welcomed in “polite” company due to your vulgar language. It is your choice. Life is all about making choices. If you choose to be on welfare, don’t expect to be welcomed by those who support you as you suck from the public teat. If you treat people poorly, don’t expect to be welcomed by anyone that won’t submit to your poor treatment of them. If we were all the same, how boring would that be? Life is all about making choices about how to live your life. Make better choices.

What is the single greatest life lesson you have ever learned? How did you come about learning it? What experience or experiences prompted you to learn it? Why do you think it is such valuable knowledge?

Being happy always! My messy divorce was the impetus for it. You can’t carry hatred with you through life as it is counterproductive to, truly, living your life. I’m not sure there is anything more important than being truly happy all the time. The alternative simply sucks.

Why is everyone chasing status?

Strokes their ego? Happiness? When I was in the Air Force I was always put in for the “Intelligence NCO of the Year” award. I was told I never won because I refuse to kiss ass and play the game. I told my bosses to stop putting me in for the award because I’ll never change who I am just to win it. If I’m doing a good job, just give me a pat on the back and say so.

A doctor once introduced himself to me using his title, I said I was pleased to meet him and introduced myself using my title. We laughed about titles and he asked if I respected him as a doctor. I asked him if they still called it the “practice” of medicine. He said, yes, then he laughed. Touche!

“Some people think they can find satisfaction in good food, fine clothes, lively music, and sexual pleasure. However, when they have all these things, they are not satisfied. They realize happiness is not simply having their material needs met. Thus, society has set up a system of rewards that go beyond material goods. These include titles, social recognition, status, and political power, all wrapped up in a package called self-fulfillment. Attracted by these prizes and goaded on by social pressure, people spend their short lives tiring body and mind to chase after these goals. Perhaps this gives them the feeling that they have achieved something in their lives, but in reality they have sacrificed a lot in life. They can no longer see, hear, act, feel, or think from their hearts. Everything they do is dictated by whether it can get them social gains. In the end, they've spent their lives following other people's demands and never lived a life of their own. How different is this from the life of a slave or a prisoner?”

-- Lieh-tzu

What have we learned today?

Will we be exceedingly happy from this point on? If not, then we haven’t learned nearly enough of what is important in this life.

How do you realize your importance in someone's life whom you love the most?

You mean, you don’t know yet? When they love you the most, you’ll know. When you know, you won’t be asking this question. When you know, you’ll be too busy smiling.

What is an example of a time when you experienced success?

From 1972 until the present I have been doing what I want to do. I rate my success on how happy I am, in what I do, and in my life. I have learned to be happy always.

“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”

-- Paulo Coelho, lyicist, novelist

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.