Women - Be the Pedestal (Part 2 - Commentary)

On the darkest days, when I feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy,
I remember whose daughter I am and straighten my crown.

Sometimes I write posts which resonate with my audience.  Usually these posts concern women, the issues I see them having to deal with, my opinions of those issues, and my undying respect and love of the gender in general.  I was brought up to respect women, to open doors for them, treat them gently, and place them on a pedestal where they might be protected and admired.  Every woman, whether she knows it or not, is a trophy.  If being thought of in this way offends some, well, get over it.

I wrote the post, Women - Be the Pedestal, because I was again finding myself fielding comments from women who feel inadequate, unloved, and unworthy.  And, the obvious reasons for this?  Well, they were inadequate, unloved, and unworthy.  They had listened to the bullshit around them so long they had become what others thought they should be, and that was manifest into what others saw.  How sad is that for the one of God's creatures tasked with being the mother of us all?

“A consequence of female self-love is that the woman grows convinced of social worth. Her love for her body will be unqualified, which is the basis of female identification. If a woman loves her own body, she doesn't grudge what other women do with theirs; if she loves femaleness, she champions its rights.

-- Naomi Wolf

I received a comment on the post which sparked this "Part 2" installment.  I have shared it, below, with minimal changes to correct formatting issues.  It might benefit you to read Women - Be the Pedestal, first, so you can approach this comment in context. 

I did not read the whole article but I intend to, and I do appreciate it. It opens the door to a whole new dialogue especially coming from a man to women. The truth is that most females don't identify or understand who they really are. I could elaborate but what for. For one thing, we don't get the whole picture about self-esteem. Look around you. Whether you are a male or female you must learn to love yourself first before loving anyone else not to mention LEARNING to love GOD. God accepts us exactly the way we are on the outside; he is only interested in the unseen on the inside.

It is of no consequence how attractive or beautiful you are, that will not get you an audience with the ONE it matters with most. We did not come here to stay. We all must leave; talk to God about it. You are beautiful and whatever is imperfect to others should not matter. The one you need to please is God. If you are not satisfied with yourself then do something about it if that is possible. Otherwise leave off with the earthly physical of who you are supposed to be or look like. 

There is a whole lot more too each FEMALE than her outward makeup/gender if she would just identify with the gifts that GOD has endowed her with and I don't mean her physical body. Each one of us is unique in our own way. God is our FATHER and I say lovingly - Talk to HIM about it and see what happens.  Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened to you. All you need do is ASK. I hope I have not offended anyone for I had the best intentions.

--Anonymous, Women - Be the Pedestal, July 5, 2016 at 9:12 AM

It is another unfortunate reality of our times that parenting and faith are no longer priorities for so many of us.  Parenting to teach our young girls how they should act, look, and expect to be treated by society.  Faith which would instill in them the knowledge that they have a path laid out before them to become more than they are, regardless of what anyone else might tell them.

When we love we should love God, self, family, and society, in that order.  One might ask why I always say you need to love yourself before you can truly love others, yet God comes first on my list.  My answer would be that God loves you whether or not you understand that you already love God.  It would be like the rebellious child that hates their father without understanding that the father's love is unconditional.  You can't truly love unless you love yourself, but sometimes folks need God's help to understand why they are; why they exist.  Once we understand why we are, it is easier to understand who and what we are, or will become.  With this understanding comes a greater understanding and love of God.  

If you imagine your love as a pyramid of priorities with God and self-represented as a gold coin spinning at the top, God and self  on either side, one and the same as contradictory evidence, the paradox, that we must love ourselves before we can love God and we must love God before we can love ourselves.

“A person learns how to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else.”

-- Haruki Murakami, novelist

French lawyer, politician and author, Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), once wrote, "Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are."  I think his comment is not so much to do with gastronomy as with his witty observation of the human condition.  We are what we eat.  We are our faith, our beliefs, and our actions.  We are, for better or worse, what we want to be.

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.”

-- Eartha Kitt (1927-2008), singer, actress

Whether one is plus-sized or slender to the point of anorexia, the only concern should be how it affects your health and your continued life among those that truly care about you.  What you are on the outside should reflect what you are on the inside.  If you're fat because you're the "life of the party" ton of fun, so be it.  Be happy and revel in it.  Show people you are happy with why you are by your positive outward appearance.  If you dress nicely, do your hair, and put on some appropriate makeup, everyone will learn to understand that you are all about happiness, life, and love.  You should strive, for your own benefit, to make a statement that you do not wallow in self-pity, and you are so much more than meets the eye.  Be the woman of mystery; be the mother of the future; be strength, the foundation, and the pedestal on which you stand for all to see!  

“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.”

-- Margaret Cho, comedian, actress, author

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.