Turning 60: More Thoughts

Well, I'm a week away from turning the big six-oh.  Every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and chuckle.  I'm not sure if I'm losing my mind, conceited at how devastatingly handsome I still am, amazed at how I've managed to bullshit my way to this point in life, or if I just have a genuine amazement at God's sense of humor at allowing me the opportunity to grace this planet for even the blink of an eye.

 

I wanted to do something big for my 60th.  Get a whole roast pig and all the southern trimmings, get hammered and have a real blow out.  The closer I get to it, the less important that seems to be.  I'm thinking of a quiet night of reflection with a good glass of brandy and some mellow jazz.

 

I thought about my parents last night, while I sniffled myself to sleep with this cold that seems to be finally waning.  Dad is turning 83 this Sunday and they really wants me to be closer to them.  It makes perfect sense at this point in my life.  It takes very little for me to be happy, and just enough money to get by  is fine.  I can be of more help to him and mom there than here. 

 

In two more years I'll apply for my Social Security that I've paid into for the past 45 years.  I want what I'm owed before the government goes belly up or Obama redistributes my retirement to someone that didn't earn it.  It isn't an entitlement Mr. President, and it isn't yours.  It's mine.  I paid into it and I want it back.  I give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.  This is mine.  I didn't spend 45 years on a street corner with a sign begging for it, I did spend 45 years paying into it and 22 years in the military defending every body's right to demand it back when it was due.

 

The business I worked with for the 17 years, prior to my recent retirement to Mexico, is moving an hour away to another city.  This breaks my heart in that several of the most beautiful I have ever met will be leaving.  I've have always called them "my girls" and cherish them dearly.  If they're reading this, they know who they are, and know that I love them all. 

 

That's a good thing -- love.  It is something I thought I lost the ability to give, or take, since my divorce in 1999.  Something about allowing a woman to strip you, of those you love and everything you own, that leaves a person feeling devastated.  Patience is not my virtue and it has taken me 14 years to climb out of this self-imposed pit of an emotional wasteland in which I allowed the divorce to place me.  Friendship, support, and the love of those around me has helped enormously in pulling me back into the light of day.  In the end, I have probably fared much better through all of it than she has.  Only now, after these many years, can forgive her and feel pity for what she may not realize she has lost and will never have.  I do hope she has learned, for her sake and before it's too late, it isn't all about her.

 

At this point in life I'd really like to work toward a social center for religious tolerance.  I think this would be a good thing, and a legacy I can leave for future generations.  Some might say it's a fool's errand for someone with so little religious education to consider such an undertaking, especially at 60.  I would say to look at the job those with the education have done.  I would point to the terrorists, the crystal cathedrals, the diddling of children and hookers by men of the cloth, the poor that continue to go unfed throughout the world, and the inability of religions to teach their followers to tolerate others for their beliefs and live together in peace.  Why can't we all just get along?  As for being 60, my dad is 83 so I figure I have at least 23 more years to have fun with this.

Love and have fun.  Be fruitful and multiply. Dance like no one is watching and sing like no one can hear.  Walk around the house in your birthday suit, just don't answer the door.  Be always in pursuit of happiness and God, for to pursue anything else is counterproductive to knowledge and a long life. 

Walk your own path each day with your head held high in the knowledge you have done right, and with the humility of knowing you are not perfect.  Love is as much about sacrifice as it is about emotion.  You can buy fun but you cannot buy happiness.  Know that faith is about asking for blessings and praying for forgiveness.  Death is the last great mystery of this life.

What will you do in the next?