Tiramisu! Gesundheit?

Tiramisu
Ingredients:

6 egg yolks

3 tablespoons sugar
1 pound mascarpone cheese
1 1/2 cups strong espresso, cooled
2 teaspoons dark rum
24 packaged ladyfingers
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate shavings,
for garnish

Cholesterol, empty calories, fat, caffeine, alcohol, starch and chocolate (for garnish).  The only redeeming ingredient in Tiramisu is the rum.  The chocolate is a close second, but there's only enough for "garnish."  Six egg yolks?  That's a half rack of the worst part of the egg!  One and a half cups of STRONG espresso?  I thought that was the point of espresso, to be strong.  Does stronger eat the enamel off the cup?  A paltry two teaspoons of my favorite part, the rum, before we dig into the twenty-four "packaged" lady fingers.  I think the point of packaging them is so you don't eat more than one at a time as they're fattening! 

 

There are as many variants on the recipe and construction of this tempting high caloric weapon as there are chefs to make it, and not one of those chefs can make it right.  If they could make it right I wouldn't eat it.  As it stands, every variant I have tried has been horrible.  I have had to go back and have numerous helpings in order to finally make the determination, and I ensure my plate is licked clean, but each time the finding is the same:  Horrible, just horrible!

 

Who comes up with this nasty stuff?  I can see some grossly obese pastry chef waking up late one night and sitting bolt upright in bed...ok, let's go with "eyes snapping open," and muttering, "What a great idea!" as drool soaks into the pillow.  Lets face it, and be honest, this is a heart attack on a plate!

 

This is what God should have tempted Eve with, except God knew it would be an unfair test of willpower.  After all, if Eve couldn't resist the apple what chance would she stand against Tiramisu?  Have you seen all the art depicting Eve?  Imagine how wide the canvas would have to be if she were into this!  The only recipe item that could make this dish worse would be to mash it all together and use it as topping for ice cream, and maybe add a drizzle of semi-sweet chocolate syrup over the top, whipped cream and some slivered almonds, and a cherry...or two.  Oh crap!  See!  This is the stuff of sin!

 

I went into the kitchen at work today and saw the dregs of what was left of a Tiramisu birthday cake we'd been sampling all week.  I stared at it and thought, "Get thee behind me, Satan!" 

 

I reached for a fork and plate.  To your health!