Questioning Nympho, Ignorance, Adulthood, Hurting, Expectations, and Brits

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”

-- Woody Allen

How did my wife go from a full-blown nympho to absolutely no sex at all?

An STD.

How does a wise man prove everyone wrong?

Wisdom says he doesn’t have to. He states the facts. If he wants to embrace the facts, so be it. If he doesn’t, then, how wise is he?

Does the wise man learn from other's mistakes?

If he’s wise.

Does the wise man always arrive on time?

The wise man arrives as his schedule allows him. There may be an issue that is more important than the schedule. He will take care of the issue, and then go on his way.

Why do people get so heated about battle and scaling arguments when the whole enterprise is riddled with false assumptions, and logical errors, that make any conclusion an act of creative writing and not any type of logical inference?

Search me.

What are some ways I can offend people and animals?

You can’t offend an animal. If you want to offend the delicate sensibilities of most people, all you have to do is fart in their presence.

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.”

-- Benjamin Franklin

Am I stupid for being a healthy 25-year-old with hypochondriac disease that came from trauma?

You are "ignorant" for thinking you are “a healthy 25-year-old” who has hypochondriac disease. If you have any disease you aren’t healthy, trauma or not.

I feel like she's not putting the same effort, like she did, in the relationship. What can I do?

Ask her if there's a problem. She's, probably, become “comfortable” in your relationship. 

Why do we tend to get jealous whenever someone is better at something?

Who is “we”? Jealousy is the disease of those who are wanting. Personally… I could give a shit if you’re better at something. That would be a “good for you” moment. Someone has to be better at whatever. Being better at something means you are the “go-to” if someone needs you. I am so not jealous of your talent.

Imagine if everyone is the same in every aspect. Do you think teaching would be better if we were all the same, or otherwise?

If we are being taught, we are not all the same. “Teaching” indicates that some of us need instruction. If this is true, then we are not all the same in every respect.

How do you know your own strengths when you can't ask around? What are your strengths?

I am an instructor, supervisor, manager, and all-around good guy. 40 years of learning and experience in the military and the private sector have proven this. Knowing your strengths, with no question, is a bonus you don’t have to worry about. Having said this, we are always learning. At 71 years of age, and retired, I am still learning stuff I don’t know. Learning is why we exist.

Why do husbands and wives respect each other in daily life?

They should have mutual respect before marriage. Lack of respect drives the divorce percentage higher.

“Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.”

-- Jonathan Franzen

What are the benefits of becoming an adult emotionally?

You stop sleeping with married people and that gives you a sense of security knowing the spouse is not waiting around the corner to take you out. You become safer in your choices and decisions. “Free climbing” a skyscraper is not an intelligent decision.

What did you almost die of?

My motorcycle accident, in high school. I’m not invincible.

A person said to me, “That doesn’t make it a fact, it’s still just a matter of opinion.” I said that since the majority of people consider this "model" pretty, that makes it a fact. Who is right?

Unfortunately, the person is right. It is an opinion. If she gets an award for being “pretty” it will be an opinion put forth by the judges. “Pretty” is in the eye of the beholder. It is an opinion, even if the judges say she is pretty.

Is there anyone you know who you would consider a leader who does not hold a formal position?

Yes. And if people are smart, they’ll vote him back into office. 

Do you think if you and your friend are fighting each other and he says you are so slow, he could drop his hands and leave his chin exposed and you would never be able to punch him, he is just telling you, you suck and he's the best friend ever?

One, he is not the “best friend ever.” Two, his chin is exposed, but he isn’t looking for the kick to his balls. I am never fighting a friend, so this prick is going down. And, while he’s down, I’m going to kick the shit out of him. Again, he is not my friend.

How does reality clash with morality?

Most people think they are “moral” when they’re not. 

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that, I alone, am morally responsible for everything I do.”

-- Robert A. Heinlein

Is it true that hurt people hurt people? Why?

Why should they hurt alone? I think the reason is they don’t think it through. I hurt, therefore, I will continue to be hurt by others. Victim mentality. The "defense mechanism" is to hurt the next person who interacts with you, who you think is going to hurt you… again. I have had my share of hurt people think that I will continue the hurt. I’ve had to calm them down and show them a friend, in me.

Can you describe a time when you felt "truly" happy and fulfilled?

After my divorce. I think that explains it. Nuff said.

Sometimes it's better not to care. Why do you think so?

Caring can drain you. Sometimes, I think it would not be so “better” to care. But, then, I see the person and my heart goes out to them. It would seem I’m a sucker for those who need a caring shoulder to cry on. What I’ve done, over the years, is surround myself with people who care. In this way, I am not constantly nursing those who need care. It seems selfish, but it really isn’t.

Reader comment: Yeah it’s draining, I feel that. That’s why it’s important to be cautious on what we feel and try to have balance. I hope your sweet & loving nature will continue to spread for those who need it. 

Are scientific inventions making us happier?

If it makes it easier to live or if it makes us healthier, then yes.

Do people typically regret their biggest life decisions? Are there individuals who do not regret any decisions?

I have only made one decision that I thought I would regret, and that was my 25-year marriage to an asshole. Having said this, the divorce was the best decision I ever made. Less than 5 years later I was the happiest guy on planet earth. That was in 2005, and I haven’t looked back. I’ve been truly happy, ever since. It was a lesson that I needed to learn... and I did. 2005 was when I decided we were here to primarily learn.

How can you determine if something was meant to be or just a mistake in your life?

Nothing is a mistake in my life unless someone else puts it there. I have free will, which means I make all the decisions that guide my life. I have the right to say, “NO!” If I don’t make the right decision, it is on me, no one else.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Is it possible for humans to be completely satisfied with their lives, even if they have high expectations for themselves?

I am satisfied with my life. My “high expectations” didn’t come to fruition. I can wait until the next life.

What is one thing you’ve learned about life that completely changed your perspective, and why?

Life is all about learning. Everything else is supportive fluff. If you aren’t learning, you aren’t making the most out of your life. We need to learn, in order to be truly happy always, and in all things, regardless of our circumstances. It is a choice we need to make for our life.

Is it reasonable to compromise with your enemy if nobody else is required to do the same?

What you do with your “enemy” is up to you, for better or worse.

Is the purpose of our lives to make ourselves happy or to fulfill others' expectations?

No, the purpose of life is to learn. If you learn, you will be ecstatically happy. Other people’s expectations? Screw them. The only “expectations” you should concern yourself with is your expectations… of yourself.

Could the underestimation of your enemy be reciprocated?

Let us hope so.

Is righteous hatred a bad thing?

There is no such thing as “righteous hatred.” Hate is not right. If you hate, then own your hatred. But, don’t try to make it sound acceptable. It isn’t. God will make all things right.

‘Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly.’ For the Lord will vindicate his people and have compassion on his servants, when he sees that their power is gone and there is none remaining, bond or free."

-- Deuteronomy 32:35-36 

Why do Brits want to live in foreign countries whose people they hate so much?

Piss and vinegar, they live for it. The Aussies? Not so much. When I was in Sicily, we’d get the Brits hammered, put them to bed, and then the Aussies and the Americans would party.

Has a stranger come up and fondled your breasts? What did you do?

If the stranger is a woman, she can continue.

Is there anything more annoying than when someone says, "The short answer is..."? Do they mean there's a long answer too? I just want the one and only answer. They want to sound elitist. Either that or they begin the answer with 'So...'.

I usually say, “You mean, there is a long answer?” They would reply with, “Yeah, but it will take a while to get it all out.” If the short answer gives me what I want, then I can fill in the blanks. If not, I will politic for the long answer. They may not be happy, but I probably need to know.

What are the other words for difficult?

Hard.

Have you ever had an embarrassing physical exam?

A female Air Force doctor grabbed my package during an annual exam. She told me to turn my head and cough. The “cough” was high-pitched. She asked me, “What was that?” I told her, that was all she was going to get, as long as her hand was gripping my package. She smiled and told me I was fine.

How does a wise man deal with violence?

He can end it, or walk away from it. Martial arts, or a gun, will end the discussion pretty fast. Wisdom says the gun, is a last resort. Better to try to walk away from the drama.

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.”

-- E.F. Schumacher

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com