Questioning Girlfriends, Guns, Skills, Termination, Bullies, and Marriage

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

-- Rodney Dangerfield

 

What can I do if my girlfriend breaks up with me and she gets into another relationship within no time?

I could surmise who she was with... when she wasn’t with you.

How can I break up with my girlfriend without telling her?

Don’t be a coward. Step up and do the right thing.

If this happened to you, could you please share your personal story of how you gained confidence and a strong sense of self-worth without exterior validation?

As a member of the Air Force Combat Intelligence branch, I had to call down a “higher” Intelligence agency over a mistake I found in their description. I was ignored. This began a years-long game of calling them down and being ignored. The good point, that made me laugh, is that in the next updates, the descriptions were changed and I was always vindicated.

What do I do when the person who I love doesn't love me anymore?

Find someone who can truly value your love and appreciation.

Why does my boyfriend have his astranged wife living with him?

Gee, this is a “hard” one.

How can I put a love spell on my partner?

Strip.

“When you strip away all the layers one by one, not much remains to “discover.” You will never find real meaning among your selfish interests, feelings, and aspirations. The answers do not lie within you.”

-- James C. Dobson

Why do we people create guns?

For protection. The same reason we developed clubs, knives, spears, and then swords. 

My coworker treats me indifferently but speaks highly and well about me to others, what does it mean?

The coworker values you but doesn’t want the value to go to your head.

What can you do if your boss is always angry at you, even when you do your job well?

Sit down with the boss and ask what the problem is. You can keep guessing, or you can get the facts from the boss’s mouth. At least you will know what the issues are.

What are some key factors that contribute to achieving success in both personal and professional endeavors?

Knowledge, desire, and perseverance in the face of failure.

How should a subordinate respond when their manager tells them they have no respect for them?

“I have no respect for you, either. So, where does that leave us?”

1.  Do you hate your ex or have you moved on?

2.  Do you hate the person you were previously in love with?

Two questions caught my interest.  I hated my “ex” before I realized it was my choice to stay married to her. I had it in my head that I could make it all good. I was telling myself fairytales. After 25 years of marriage, I divorced her and moved on. I’ve been with my current girlfriend for 20 years of happiness. 

But, do I hate the person I was married to?  Yes, because of what she did to me. But, I still love her, I just can't be with her, or around her.  She gave me two terrific children.  I love her for that. Some people can't just flip a switch and stop loving.

“Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.”

-- M.F. Moonzajer

How do I have good conversation skills?

Get involved in conversations, and learn to listen and question. You don’t have to input life’s drama. 

1.  How do I cast a love spell to bring my husband back?
2. Can I use a love spell to make my husband love me more?

Another two questions (above) caught my interest,  Why, you might ask? Because, for me, it plays to a person's naïveté. In the first question, the husband left.  In the second question, the husband is not loving enough.  For me, both husbands are vacant in marriage, and the wives don't have a clue.  Why does one want him back, and the other wants him to love her more? Both husbands are worthless, and the wives should be looking to move on down the road and find someone better. 

When’s the best time you function?

3 a.m. to about 8 a.m., when I answer questions. It gets my mind moving. 

Do you believe in destiny? If so, what do you think your destiny is and how did you come to this belief?

A person’s destiny, like a person’s luck, is what they make it. Our lives are made up of choices and decisions. Some are good and some are bad, but all of our choices and decisions make our lives go in some direction. Hopefully, the direction is where we hoped to go. I was in college when I received a draft notice for the Army. I decided to Join the Air Force. At the end of my tour, Vietnam was over, but I chose to stay in the military Intelligence field… for another 19 years. I chose to retire, and I chose to go to work for an Institutional Review Board. Choices and decisions have steered my life, as they steer everyone’s life. If you give up your right to choose and decide, you have made another choice to let someone else steer your life. 

How do I manage a coworker who doesn't show respect, doesn't teach me well and completely, is hostile when I make mistakes, but is a friend of the boss?

Quit, and tell the boss why, in detail. His “friend” is costing the company happy workers.

What and when was your most recent lie?

If you lie, you will have to remember what you lied about. This is too much drama for me to handle. Better to just tell the truth, no matter how painful, and move on down the road. It is just a lot easier, especially for a guy like me that has no filter.

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

-- Mark Twain

Why did my boss fire me for not saying hi back to her?

Geeze! What a grouchy bitch.

Why does everyone leave when life gets tough?

They never learned the lesson of persevering in the face of failure. I can tough it out for at least 25 years before I'm told there is no chance. 

Am I being fired if my boss told me to look for another job?

Nice of the boss to give you a heads-up.

How can I politely call you an idiot big time?

Try saying this: “You’re an idiot, big time!” Being polite is not in play, but… you must be certain that you’re not being the bigger idiot… big time.

Is it better to fail than not try at all?

Yes, because when you fail you learn, and life is all about learning, and you try again.

What causes people to mix up the difference between love and lust so much?

There is no way I can mix these two up. Lust has to do with getting down and nasty. Love has to do with not being able to take your eyes off of hers. Love is when your heart melts. Lust is when you get wood over a stranger. Love is when you can’t come up with humorous bullshit because you love her.

“He looked good, like sin in a suit.”

-- Melissa Marr

How can teachers and staff identify signs of bullying and intervene effectively?

As an ex-victim, first I’d look for the “definition” of a victim, and if they have a bloody nose, bruising, they’re an extrovert that’s now an introvert, they cower when you raise a hand, and they don’t want to talk about any of it, these should be some red flags of bullying. When you’re too late is when the victim is hospitalized, or when the bully beat to a pulp. I just about beat my bully to death with a tree branch.

How might a control freak react when you decide to break the relationship?

I don’t want to be around. I’ll do it by phone, and have a new number at the ready.

How do confidence and persistence play a role in the success of dreamers?

If you don’t have confidence, it would be very hard to find persistence, much less perseverance in the face of failure. Without these three, confidence, persistence, and perseverance, the possibility of success for a dreamer is, well, just a dream.

What kind of effort is needed to prove that his love is genuine after a breakup and make a possibility of getting back together?

It helps if the person you broke up with is an idiot. 

Why is it that we can never be too sure of what we know?

Because what we know can change. What is a fact today may not be a fact tomorrow. Scientists would be well served by couching their findings with, “At this point, we can say…” It leaves the door open for updating what they think they know at a later point.

What is the meaning behind someone saying you should be bad sometimes because you're too nice?

Jealousy. There is nothing wrong with being too nice.

“Emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice". At strategic moments it may demand not "being nice", but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding.”

-- Daniel Goleman

What makes you afraid of getting married?

Been the minion of Satan once. I see no reason to do it again.

Is everything God's will?

No. God got tired of talking and writing everything down and having man misinterpret it. So, God gave man everything he needed to do things right. It is man’s choice to follow what God gave him or to continue misinterpreting. 

Why do some Christians view immigration as a crisis but not others?

Some are Democrats.

How can a person become the Christian god?

Too late. The best one can do is to find an empty pedestal to climb on and say some quasi-believable things that might garner them a congregation, but it won’t make them a “Christian God” as there is already a Christian God.

Can atheism be used as a basis for determining morality?

No. It is the only thing the atheists won’t argue with me about.

What is the biblical basis for Christians to support immigration reform?

Try this:

“Then Jesus said to them, 'Give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and give to God the things that are God’s.' The men were amazed at what Jesus said.”

-- Mark 12:17

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com