Personal Exploration and Discovery (Updated from 2/28/2015)

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

-- Andre Gide (1869-1951)

Once again, knowing what I wanted to write about, personal exploration and discovery, was at odds with actually having something to say.  This happens to me more often than not, and I have learned to be patient and something will present itself to spur me onward.  Well, it happened again.  

I was finished working outside and was getting ready to take a shower before working on my blog once more.  The phone rang. Someone dear to me called.  She was tired and frustrated. She and her husband's search for a house seemed to continuously run aground.  

They set out to discover new oceans, dared to lose sight of the shore, and encountered some rough weather.  This is to be expected when life is disrupted with moving a household out of state, being downsized out of a current job, finding new employment, finding a new home you can afford and get a loan for, ensuring your children are secure, etc., etc., etc.  Any one of these would be a cause for stress, much less having to shoulder all of them together.  The good news? Unbeknownst to her, the new job was waiting.

“Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least when you let them, when you work with circumstances instead of saying, 'This isn't supposed to be happening this way,' and trying harder to make it happen some other way.”

-- Benjamin Hoff 

Everything we do that is new is a voyage of exploration and discovery.  If we just sit in our cabin and just await our destination we will miss the sights and sounds of our voyage, the many ports of call, and, perhaps, the occasional adventure.  

In the case of my good friend, I have to fall back on an old adage: It does little good to stress over that over which you have no control.  Hell, it does little good to stress over that which you do have some modicum of control.  It is a voyage of discovery, after all, so go out and discover!  Such was my advice.  Take a break, breathe, and relax.  After a week, sit down, make a new plan with a new tact, and go back out into the world with the understanding that the fruit of your plan will present itself in good time.  I stated the obvious, and, as expected, she was already there.  

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

-- Marcel Proust (1871-1922)

We all stress, usually over issues of our own making.  Oh, we blame other people, generally because we have a hard time accepting responsibility for our own stupidity. But, truth be known, the fault usually lies squarely on our own shoulders.  

When I hear someone is at the end of their rope, stressed to the proverbial breaking point, I usually ask why.  What I usually get back are results that they think are causes.  "My boss is being a prick."  The statement is a result.  By asking "why," we work our way backward and learn as we go.  Why is the boss a prick?  Well, a "project" was late.  Another result.  Why was the project late?  We continue to explore the "why" of things until, sooner or later, there are no more reasons for us to ask questions, at which point you usually find out the real reason for the issue at hand.  

Why isn't this done more often?  It isn't much fun for the explorer as we begin this journey down the less traveled, revealing path of obvious answers. But, if they can be honest in their search, they almost always find some lost treasure at the end. 

“If you do something that has never been done you will collect treasures that have never been found.”

-- Jenna Newton

This person, very dear to me, we don't talk nearly as much as we should.  Her stress will pass, as it does for most of us.  She will look back upon this as another adventure in life, with many little treasures of knowledge learned from the experience.  I would like to think it is because we do talk, occasionally, and I have always waited for her to discover.  Life is about lessons, not about someone doing your homework for you, and she is well aware of this.  She is not one of those to blame others or to reach for the, all too often misinterpreted, breaking point.

"Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it."

-- Winnie the Pooh

To put my own fine point on this, those who think they have reached this stressful "breaking point" in their life should spend less time whining and more time finding out why they strayed from their path.  Why did they end up in this quagmire?  When they work the way back up the trail, to eventually find out where they went wrong, they will be able to change their lives and make everything right again.  I hope you can see it is truly all about them.  If they can't do this and if they can't take ownership of the outcome of their own decisions, they are doomed to remain on this stressful course, and their lives will rely more on "luck" driven by stress, than on any better choices and decisions they can do to change their lot.

"When the root cause of an issue is found, even if you do nothing, or feel you can do nothing to change the course of events, there is much to be said for taking ownership and responsibility for your circumstances. That, in itself, is life-changing for the better. Any step forward is the beginning of a new journey."

-- F.A. Villari

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com