Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign! (Updated from 11/9/2014)

 

And the sign said, "Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray"
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all,
I didn't have a penny to pay
So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, "Thank you, Lord, for thinkin' 'bout me. I'm alive and doin' fine."

-- Robert Leslie 'Les' Emmerson, "Signs"

Released in 1971, the year I was drafted for Vietnam, "Signs" reflected the hippie mantra concerning rules, laws, and class.  It was a mantra that visited upon us such bestsellers as The Anarchist Cookbook, published the same year, and containing instructions for making explosives, drugs, hacking into communications systems, and many other socially non-redeeming subjects;  basically, all the things we've come to love about terrorists, cartels, and criminals.

"The lyrics within "Signs" seem to show an extreme level of frustration with the omnipresent, authoritative symbols employed by governments, institutions, and religion to commit society to a "conform or pay the price" system of control."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signs 

The Anarchist Cookbook should have been banned the year it was published.  In 2013 there was a renewed effort to this end as it was found to be a recipe for many of the school shootings and such.  With ISIS and the threat of homegrown terrorism, why publish a "how to" book for them?

Most old-school hippies have either gone onto corporate jobs or other paychecks that put them onto the national rolls.  Whether that admit it or not you will find them cashing checks, paying taxes, and driving the SUV parked next to you.  Hypocrites or realists?  Many who refused to succumb to much of what they fought against have retired to farming communes and were instrumental in feeding many in need after Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi coast.

But what about all of the signs?  They are still with us and, at times, more funny than meaningful.  I was researching online and came across a few:

"This is not a trail?  Really?  It looks like a trail or you wouldn't have nailed a sign to it.  What about that?  You nailed a sign to dirt?  We can all see where that is going.  A very expensive brass plate is screwed into a weathered, cracking piece of old wood.  The nails, or the board, will soon work loose and present a tetanus issue for an unsuspecting foot.

Would someone get this area a tissue?  Sensitive?  I think the tree-hugging has gone afield.  And this sign should really be professional if you want us to pay attention, and screw it to the post!  The reason it's on the ground are the two ties in the middle of the sign.  Learn something about gravity.  We all have our sensitive issues, get over it.

I love this one.  You have to live in California to find your hiking options have narrowed to the local sewage treatment areas.  The warning is really a moot point.  Who in God's good name would want to wander off this trail?  Oh!  The smell of it all!  I would be all about voting to bring some change to local government and getting the tax money grooming trails elsewhere.  But, that's just me.

Another sign for the "dummer than bricks" among us.  God has a way of weeding out those that perhaps need to be slapped.  Approaching an animal that can eviscerate you with one swipe of a paw, to offer it a donut, rates right up there with swimming in shark-infested waters or putting on a rubber suit to see what it feels like to have an anaconda swallow you (no kidding, a new reality show I heard about on TV).  I love the two additional warnings at the bottom.  Anyone who cares this little for their own welfare is caring squat for the safety of others.  Donut eaters take note, "GARBAGE KILLS BEARS."  You're about one-fifth of their weight, so imagine what it's doing to you.

If you're concerned about bears, watch out for Bigfoot!  Some things to consider:  Bigfoot will slap the bear, take the donut, then slap you and take whatever else you have, then, if you're lucky, it will go on its merry way.  If it likes your food, however, it might initiate mating rituals and you'll never be seen again.  Oh, and men, there is no proof they don't entertain thoughts of same-sex relationships.  Stay on the marked trail?  Has anyone told Bigfoot to stay off the marked trail and in the forest?  This sign ranks with the bear sign - go home!

Of course, there are plenty of Joe and Mary SakO'Hammers out there who can't read a sign no matter how many you put up.  I think this young lady missed the one-off to the right warning of the acid waterfall and 300-degree water.  The Landslide might be the least of worries.

If the trail ahead is the most difficult, why in God's good name would you want to get off of it?  You don't make a trail more difficult than the territory it goes through; it defeats the purpose of a trail.  This is why no one goes straight up the face of a cliff.  Okay, some people do and, I reiterate, that God has a way of weeding out those who press their luck.  How often do you win in Vegas?  When you do, do you lose it all back?  Sooner or later the house always wins or there would be no casinos.

And, speaking of cliffs, just an easy reminder to those of us with a knack for self-preservation, a warning of "injury or possible death" if you don't stay on the trail.

Finally, we come to the end of the trail.  This one will be completed in 2014, but feel free to show your intelligence, or lack thereof, and wander ahead to see what you can look forward to.  Be sure to leave your cell phone at home and not tell anyone where you went which really won't matter to the search teams that will be keeping close to the trails you were supposed to stay on.

I can't help but think God intended us to live by a set of rules; rules and laws that would give unto God that which is God's and unto Caesar that which is his,  like... staying off the grass.  Maybe it isn't a bad thing to let anarchists play with matches, or people with no sense of social responsibility to wander off the marked trail.

This Sunday, when you're out and about, pay attention to the signs and ask yourself, "Was Ralph Waldo Emerson a moron or a visionary?"

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com