Questioning Respect, Religion, Questions, Stupidest, Understanding, and Self-Esteem

 

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

Why should I respect you if you don't respect me?

I can’t think of a reason. Respect is a two-way street. If you don’t respect me, there must be a reason. I know that if I don’t respect you I have a damned good reason, but you would already know it because I have no filter.

How do you distinguish between a paraphrase of someone's comments and a genuine quote?

You do your due diligence and look the quote up.

What is a functional problem solver? Is it a good thing to be one?

I was a “functional problem solver” in the military. It was the best way to get promoted. I define it as seeing problems that slow down production and coming up with solutions that solve the problems. You end up rewriting regulations that make little sense. Soon, you become the core knowledge and other offices at other bases are calling you for advice.

What is the craziest or funniest way you have answered your phone?

“Doug’s whore house. Doug speaking.”

 Why is it important to respect women in relationships?

God forbid you don’t. A respectable woman can take a lot of bullshit before they rip your throat out. For me, I like to respect women who respect me. I never got that give and take in my marriage. 

When do you love having sex?

When I'm with another person.

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

-- Woody Allen

What is the worst religion today?

I’m not sure we can shake out the “worst” of religions. All organized religion has its issues. What we need to look at are the heretics who hijack the religion for their twisted purposes. There are many heretics to choose from, and they represent their religion as if they speak for God which, of course, they don’t. The worst, for a while now, has been the heretics in Islam. They have taken a truly peaceful religion and twisted it so everyone thinks it is something that it’s not.

What's the most interesting memory of your life?

When I was at my first assignment, a woman at a party "reminded" me that it wasn’t all about me. Thank God for Intensive Care Lotion.

Why is love not the same way it used to be before?

It is. Some young people are constantly trying to push the envelope of change, but they soon find out that love is the same as it’s always been. The emotion doesn’t change, but the rules around it always seem to be in flux. When all is said and done, true love will be what it has always been, and I am fine with that.

Why don't people tell the people they like and respect how they feel?

For me, I really don’t care what people think of me. I am what I am, and that seems to work. But for the most part, it’s a gimme. People just assume the best of folks.

How do you argue against "we are created by a supreme being”?

As a theist, I’d tell them, “Prove it.”

What is the meaning of "you have my undivided attention" and what is the appropriate response to this phrase?

They are, now, supposed to focus on you. An appropriate response to this phrase would be, “Then put your pen down and look at me.” It is hard to get someone’s true “undivided attention” unless you demand it.

“One of the most underrated gifts we can give to others is our undivided attention. Next time you spend time with a loved one, really listen to them and watch them light up when they realize you are being completely attentive to them. There is so much to be learned and experienced when we can become great listeners!”

-- Jaeda DeWalt

Why do people always think my questions are stupid, nonsense, and weird?

If you haven’t asked the questions more than once, then no one should be criticizing your need for serious information. People who judge are in danger of being judged… unless you’re a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended. Then, well, I’ll simply ignore you.

Why can't some women accept criticism?

Maybe from another woman, but, God forbid, a man tries to criticize. Walk a mile in her shoes, and then, maybe, she’ll listen.

How do I find a supporting statement about the supreme being?

Good luck. As a theist, I’d say it is why they call our belief “faith.” Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Any “supporting” statements will come from scripture for which there is no support. Not only do theists have no support, but atheists also have no support. Both sides of the debate lean heavily on their faith, and I’ve already covered that topic.

Is there anything wrong with asking questions that aren't relevant?

Relevant to what?

How can you answer my question if you can't think like me?

If your question is clear, logical, and understandable, there should be no problem. It is not the job of the listener to think like you. It is the job of the messenger to make the question understandable so the question can be answered correctly.

What does desire mean?

A strong feeling of want.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

-- Epicurus

What is the stupidest thing you've ever said to anyone in authority?

To the Vice President of the company: “You threw me under the bus. Why don’t you just fire me? Oh. that’s right... I was doing what you said to do.”

How can you cope with an interpersonal situation where someone has a serious misconception of you based on an understandable misunderstanding? Despite the mistaken belief's seriousness, there is no way you can change their mind.

Que será, será.

How much of our behavior is driven by unconscious motives, and can we ever truly understand them?

At 70 years of age, not much. My motives are thought out, which means they aren’t unconscious, or subconscious. At this point in life, I truly understand my motives. It’s remembering her name that I have a problem with.

Who has most inspired you to be a good (non-abusive) person?

Leo Buscaglia. 

How would you spend your time if you did not need to work? What’s most meaningful to you?

I don’t need to work, so I don’t. I spend a good bit of my time answering questions on this site. It is meaningful to me.

Can you have an identity without money and be able to identify with who you really are without it? What gives you value or how would you assess yourself based on lack of money?

Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Money cannot make you truly happy, nor can it make you respect yourself. Your value, to yourself, is how you treat other people. How selfless you are in all things you do. I have been poor, and I have been rich, and I have managed to be truly happy through all of it. Okay, so the 25 years with a woman who wanted to be somewhere else, notwithstanding. I got rid of that baggage. You make your life what you want it to be, so you can be truly happy in it. Money, or not, all that is important is how you value yourself.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Have you ever felt like buried under a load of lies and misunderstandings and you felt like no one would understand you?

Yes. I stopped lying and paid more attention to being understood. I found a good “code of ethics” that I can stand by through thick and thin. It is based on honesty in all things. Now, I have no filter, and I’m a better man for it.

Why would anyone turn me into their enemy when I was never the enemy of anyone?

Jealousy. They want you to be what you aren’t. Just be who you are. It obviously pisses them off, and this can be a good thing. 

Is it right to say 'happy married life' or 'happy marriage life'?

Happy married life.  

Do you agree or disagree that it's "lonely at the top"? I managed to achieve success in some activities, and while it might lift my self-esteem, I observed how I got lonelier, as there are now fewer people I can talk to and relate to.

That is the problem with attaining goals that put you at the top. I’ve noticed, lately, that a lot of “top brass” put on blue jeans or shorts and come down to rub elbows with the common folk, especially when the Saints are playing.

Why does everyone look so sure and I am always in debt of everything?

Your attitude. Start looking sure and stop thinking you’re “always in debt of everything.” If you are, maybe it’s time to get out of debt. Change your mindset and change your life.

What is a debate on a topic that says teachers are responsible for poor performance in public exams?

Their responsibility is to teach. The proof that they can do their job is in the student’s exams. Unfortunately, poor performance equates to poor teaching. If teachers cared, maybe they’d take some time with the students who lag behind on exams. And, if they are doing this, maybe it’s the student. It seems to be a toss-up. Students have always been their own worst enemy, and it seems to be getting worse. Perhaps the parents need to accept some of the blame. There seems to be enough to go around.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

-- Socrates

I have critical parents and a mean boss at work and they constantly make me feel bad.  They're always complaining and saying I'm doing stuff wrong and it lowers my self-esteem. How can I not let people's words and actions affect me?

Ignore your parents and tell your boss you quit. Find a better job with a better boss. You obviously have self-esteem, so don’t let people affect you like that. You need to grow up at some point and take control of your life. Not knowing how old you are makes any advice difficult.

How should I rephrase some of my questions to reflect future maturity? Not trying to bend the truth but to be in harmony with others is all I want, and to live life the best way I know how. My senses at times are dulled, but, I’m not clueless.

Questions don’t have to be “mature” as much as they need to be understandable.

I got slapped behind the back and I didn’t fight back. I felt like a coward because I was afraid of getting hurt more. How can I move on?

So, let me get this straight. A coward slapped you behind the back, and you feel like the coward? Move on. 

You are surrounded by cowards who cannot face you to slap you. If they do slap you to your face, I’d tell them to not do it again, because they will have to go to sleep at some point. You may not be able to beat them in a fair fight, but, then, they aren’t fighting fair. Let them go to sleep. They can’t fight if they’re sleeping.

Do you fully agree with the conventional wisdom that you cannot make up for lost sleep?

“Lost sleep” is lost. You can’t get it back. The best you can do is get a better cycle of sleep the next time.

I was told to have the willingness to win and allow others to win, is that a contradicting statement, or am I being told that I should have gratitude for others?

The willingness to win means having the willingness to be a team player. It is winning and bringing others along with you. When I was in the military I wanted to progress to the Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge of the Intelligence Division. I managed to make it. By that time I also knew who were the best workers in the Division and I brought them up to positions of responsibility. I leaned on them and made them ready for their own progression.

What is a quote you will always stand by?

“Honesty is the best policy.”

“Our grosse conceipts, who think honestie the best policie.”

-- Sir Edwin Sandys

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com