Feeding The Homeless and Needy (Updated from 11/23/2014)

 

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

“When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.”

-- Dom Helder Camara

It is that time of the year, when thoughts, for many of us, turn to those in need.  There was a time when I threw a few cans in the "food bank box" and a few dollars in the Salvation Army kettle.  I called that my annual Christmas treat.  Then I went downtown and helped feed the truly needy - the homeless.

One can find many reasons not to support feeding "deadbeats" on the street.  My favorite was always, "God helps those that help themselves."  For the most part, this is true, and one is justified in taking that stand.  Some leech off of society, sucking the lifeblood of those that work hard for a living.  Those who consider welfare as a way of life are considered to be unworthy of a second glance, much less a first.  I will not argue this, except to say that many of the homeless are physically or mentally incapable of work.  They are the "abandoned" of society.  As for the rest, you cannot save the poor from their lot, only they can.  The truly poor, who are trying to better their lot, should be policing themselves and crying foul on those who abuse the system.  The "leeches" not only steal money from those who "have," but from those who "have not," as well.

The children are the biggest losers in all of this, whether the family is struggling or leeching.  There are three possible futures for them; they grow up to leach off of society like their parents, never catch a break and continue to struggle for anything better in life, or grow up with the knowledge and desire to be more than they left behind.  There is nothing to be done for the people who leech except to offer them no alternative than work.  Those who can't catch a break, need an avenue to find the break, much less catch it.  Until a child can grasp the opportunities for knowledge, and desire, to be more than they left behind, they are still children and the most vulnerable of our society.

How do we, as a society, break this cycle of poverty and homelessness?  For all but the leech, this is a simple answer.  JOBS!  We need to create a vibrant job market and quit sending everything overseas.  We need to train those who want to break free of poverty and offer incentives to companies that offer training and placement, as well as penalties for those that outsource overseas.  We need to take away incentives for welfare.  If you aren't working, you get no assistance.  If you are handicapped, you can mentor, assist in a soup kitchen, and volunteer (believe it or not, volunteerism is work!).  Most importantly, if you have a child that you cannot afford to support without subsistence, it is tantamount to child abuse. You are, technically, abusing the child. This child will emulate the parent to survive the parent's stupidity, but poverty and homelessness will continue. 

Regardless of what we do, there may always be poor struggling to survive.  Even if we provide jobs and assistance for all, there will be those who will prefer to live on the fringes of society.  We have attempted the great experiment of trying to provide "the world's highest standard of living."  For the most part, we have failed, and history continues to repeat itself as a way of rubbing our noses in it.  History is that annoyingly tacky buzzer with a red flashing sign proclaiming "LOSER" whenever the subject of jobs, the poor, or the homeless rears their ugly heads.

Our governments leave us little recourse than to try and do what we can.  Government, religious, and social organizations can only do so much due to rules and regulations laid down by, you guessed it, governments.  Some hypocritical Christian soup kitchens do not welcome "all" to the table, and others demand you sit through their relentless pounding of the scripture as payment for the lifesaving meal.  

I have personally talked to many homeless that have forsaken missions and other soup kitchen venues preferring to go hungry than to be hammered with faith they feel has forsaken them, or have their "paid for" criminal records continue to be held against them.  One has to ask, where forgiveness, love, and tender understanding come into play.  What would Jesus do?  It strikes me as odd how  Christianity always seems to be the first to deny Christ.  There are those whose only friend is their faithful pet, ever at their side, enduring the hardship along with their master.  These homeless cannot bring their furry friend into the shelter or soup kitchen so, not wanting to risk leaving them outside, they opt to do without or find other means of obtaining sustenance.  Many of these folks showed up at the outdoor kitchen I was a part of.  The outdoors was cold and wet, but it was friendly to all and asked only that garbage was policed and peace was maintained.  None of this was ever an issue, however.

From the beginning of civilization, there have been soup kitchens; a need to feed and do for the weaker of us.  At some time prior, an alpha male must have made a human decision that would define civilization from that day forward.  The decision was made not to abandon the orphaned, injured, or weak to their own devices; maybe it was better for the group to go beyond just the physical protection of the group from predators, to show compassion, preserve the core knowledge possessed by those individuals; maybe there was busy work to be done that would free up the stronger of the group and thus ensure the survival of all.  Civilization was born of humanity and the necessity for survival.  The only way we survive is through our humanity.  People who have much tend to forget this, as do those who leech off of them.  It takes all of us to make this work, from the mentally handicapped sweeping a walk, or bussing dishes, to the CEO of a large company with the moral responsibility of assisting the government to find new jobs for the masses.

This is the time of year when I religiously read my favorite "seasonal" book, A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens (at least when I haven't lost my only copy while moving).  I identify with Scrooge in so many ways, as should most of us, I would think.  My early opinion of the majority of the poor that leech off of society was reflected in Scrooge's comment, "If they'd rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."  I softened on this when it came to the helplessness of children caught up in an adult world of pervasive welfare as an excuse for not bringing anything of value to the society that gives them everything.  One of my favorite scenes in the book is between Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Present:

"'Forgive me if I am not justified in what I ask,' said Scrooge, looking intently at the Spirit's robe,' but I see something strange, and not belonging to yourself, protruding from your skirts. Is it a foot or a claw.'

'It might be a claw, for the flesh there is upon it,' was the Spirit's sorrowful reply. 'Look here.'

From the foldings of its robe, it brought two children; wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable. They knelt down at its feet, and clung upon the outside of its garment.

'Oh, Man. look here. Look, look, down here.' exclaimed the Ghost.

They were a boy and a girl. Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, wolfish; but prostrate, too, in their humility. Where graceful youth should have filled their features out, and touched them with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled hand, like that of age, had pinched, and twisted them, and pulled them into shreds. Where angels might have sat enthroned, devils lurked, and glared out menacing. No change, no degradation, no perversion of humanity, in any grade, through all the mysteries of wonderful creation, has monsters half so horrible and dread.

Scrooge started back, appalled. Having them shown to him in this way, he tried to say they were fine children, but the words choked themselves, rather than be parties to a lie of such enormous magnitude.

'Spirit. are they yours.' Scrooge could say no more.

'They are Man's,' said the Spirit, looking down upon them. 'And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased. Deny it.' cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city. 'Slander those who tell it ye. Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. And abide the end.'

'Have they no refuge or resource.' cried Scrooge.

'Are there no prisons.' said the Spirit, turning on him

for the last time with his own words. 'Are there no workhouses.'"

- A Christmas Carol, Stave 3: The Second of the Three Spirits

The "soup kitchen" was in Olympia. Nowadays, I will find myself buying food and to-go boxes for a local church group.  I also have plans to continue this throughout the year, as I can.  When I first fed the homeless, I went there with many preconceptions.  When I left, after the first day, those preconceptions had changed.  Many were valid, but quite a few were proved faulty.  Families living in cars because of losing their homes due to factory layoffs, and other reasons, more to do with our country's inability to stay as great as we once were, than people not looking for work.  

We no longer let a "vagrant" sweep out walks or clean our windows for a few dollars for fear of being sued if they injure themselves.  Most homeless won't be considered for a job because they have no "permanent" address to offer.  We need to look at these basic issues, and let us get back to the days of yesteryear when we could offer a few simple tasks around the house, or shop, without fear of lawsuits.  We need to allow people the opportunity to provide an opportunity for those less fortunate who have a willingness, and desire, to better their lot.

What does it benefit a contractor to give a man a chance?  Let him show his worth, park his vehicle on the job site, and also act as a night watchman.  Pay him a few bucks for the first day's work so he can eat and feed his family.  Maybe pay him after the first week as well, so he can get on his feet a bit.  What does it hurt to bend the rules a bit in the name of charity for those who want to do better?  Maybe our efforts garner us a loyal employee.  Maybe we produce a productive member of society.  Maybe we give a man, or woman, their pride back.  But if these people are not fed an occasional nutritious meal, if none of us are willing to help those who truly want to help themselves, how do we expect them to be physically prepared for the work they seek when the opportunity is presented?  

A man of color, in 2014 Chicago, put it best.  He voiced the concern that the government was too intent on raising the minimum wage for jobs that didn't exist, rather than creating jobs they needed for the people to continue to exist.  

He has a point, even to this day.

For those interested in my past postings dealing with feeding the homeless and giving thanks, I have included the following links:

The Path: Joyful Hands!!  The Path: Feeding the Homeless in Olympia  The Path: Sunday Thought - November 3, 2013: Thanksgiving  The Path: Another Homeless Breakfast  The Path: Why I Am Thankful  The Path: Hungry & Homeless in Olympia  The Path: Sermon for Sunday - January 26, 2014: Thoughts on the Poor  The Path: Surprisingly Homeless: Mary in Olympia  The Path: Sermon for Sunday - February 23, 2014: Homeless in Olympia (Part Whatever)

“Hunger is not a problem. It is an obscenity. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

-- Anne Frank

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Idiots, Refund, Love, Dost, Reality, and Respect

 

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

-- Pat Monahan

Why is this site full of immature idiots that ask f#$%ed out questions?

Point made.

For whom was this quote meant, "I loved you at your darkest"?

It is from the Bible, Romans 5:8, but it has been changed to be more understandable. The original is “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

I am going to continue to troll on Quora, trolls will take over. What will you do about it?

Ignore you, the same way I ignore the League of the Perpetually Offended.

If you want to classify an action as wrong, then you need to point at the wronged party, if you can't, then the action is not wrong but okay. If you as an adult don't know this, then you still need work done to become mature. Do you agree?

An action can be wrong and have nothing to do with people. The action is wrong, regardless, not okay.

Do we create thoughts?

Yes.

How can someone deal with being overwhelmed by problems or difficulties while trying not to give up hope or motivation?

Faith gives birth to hope. If you give up on hope, where is your faith? People that are overwhelmed by problems or difficulties, need to take a serious break. Write down all the problems and difficulties. Scratch out all the bullshit ones that won’t kill you. That should delete the list. So, all the problems and difficulties won’t kill you. Are they really problems and difficulties? Or, are they simply a “list of shit” you feel you need to get on top of? Get rid of all of the crap you can. Whatever is left, take them one at a time and work through them.

Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. You just may need to change your circumstances. Being truly happy can do this for you. Of course, I could be wrong. But, it has worked for me for over twenty years. 

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

-- Shel Silverstein

Can I get a refund if I'm not happy with the assignment?

The quote (above) kind of goes with this question,

“Humanity is OK, but 99% of people are boring idiots.” -- Slavoj Žižek.

You’re probably not boring, but you’re talking like an idiot. Better if you try to be happy and just do the assignment.

Why is it so common that some people don't want more power because of the responsibility attached to said power, yet they're bitter and resentful about not having said power anyway?

I’m getting great yardage out of the quote (above):

“Humanity is OK, but 99% of people are boring idiots.” -- Slavoj Žižek. 

Do you think A.I. knows how to ask a question that has never been asked? If so, what would it be?

If I tell you, then the question will have been asked. But, to the point, AI's intelligence is “artificial” and, as such, asking such a question would have to be part of its programming. If it isn’t, then AI has become aware. If AI, all of a sudden, is aware of how to ask a question we haven’t put to it, then we are all in deep doo-doo. When “artificial intelligence” can think for itself, and knows how to ask a question that has never been asked, without being asked, then it isn’t “artificial” anymore, and we are in danger. Just my opinion.  

Do you accept bad, mean, ignorant, stupid, and/or arrogant people’s choices to risk any troubles and problems?

To accept bad choices from these people is asking for problems. Critical thought on their choices makes much more sense.

What is the stupidest question on here? I could use a good laugh here.

You used a "superlative adjective" describing a noun in your question. That’s pretty funny.

I have an IQ of 193. What would be the best way to remove all the impudent and inferior low-IQ peasants from my life?

Die. Most of the arrogant, impudent, inferiors, who have lied about their “high I.Q.” and thought they were so much better than everybody else, died. The rest aren’t touting their I.Q.s anymore. A few are limping along in Congress and the Senate, but the other politicians are wise to them.

“People who boast about their I.Q. are losers.”

-- Stephen Hawking

What is the first memory you have of hearing the phrase, "I love you?" How was it said? Was there any meaning behind those words?

It was said with all the emotion and meaning of a mother’s love for her child.

Can you love me without any reason?

I love many people without reason. When you strive to find true happiness, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Reason becomes secondary to true happiness. Besides, reason is overrated when compared to being a selflessly good person, and you don’t need a reason to be that.

Why does everybody on Quora hate that I have an IQ of 200?

Everybody? That is all-inclusive. I’d be using that “IQ of 200” to answer your question.

Why do people answer controversial questions with just one-word answers?

Most “controversial” questions beg for one-word answers. They aren’t as difficult as we’d like them to be unless we overthink the question that doesn’t need to be overthought.

Reader comment: Look at the question log. The question is from “The [site] Prompt Generator”. AKA a [site] employee pretending to be a prompt generator.

My reply:  Interesting. My answer still stands. 

If you agree to stop talking about a particular subject, but you have no intention of ceasing to talk about it. You're going to continue to talk about it, despite your agreeing not to talk about it anymore. Aren't you outright lying?

Yes. 

Oops... According to the previous question, this is a one-word answer.  I hope the question wasn't from a "Prompt Generator" or I'm screwed.  Damn me.

Why did a girl who said she loved me start avoiding me all of a sudden?

She found someone she loved even more.

“Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.”

-- Sarah Cross

What is the definition of the word 'dost'?

The archaic second person singular present of do. “Dost thou find me funny?”

What is your opinion of people who are cowards but say they're brave?

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. Sooner or later they will be put to the test. If can have all the opinions you want, but you’ll never know until they have to face it.

What does it mean when people say, 'What did I just say'?

They want to make sure you’re listening.

What should we do when our partner says "We are only friends" after confessing that he/she cheated on us while in a relationship with us?

And the relationship is still together? That would be a misplaced belief that it will never happen again. The obvious question would be, how many “friends” do they have?

If someone shoots me, if I just put my hand and turn it around the moment it touches my hand, would it be deflected?

Good luck with that.

What’s the worst mistake one can make in life?

Never put yourself out there. Never take a risk. To fear failure. This is the worst mistake in life.

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”

-- Paulo Coelho

Do human beings exist but are not real?

I just pinched myself. There was pain. Pain is real. So, it follows...

I'm a teenager and I'm good at academics. I'm scared I'll fail later on in life because of this. Will intentionally failing in academics make me better in life?

No, and don’t you dare. Be good at academics and don’t worry about failure. Failure is the best way we learn. If you fail later in life, learn from it and press forward. It isn’t failure that you need to pay attention to, it is what you do with the failure that will make you better. Live your life. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice.

What is an example of something very smart you have done or seen?

I was drafted for Vietnam, so I joined the Air Force. I served for almost 23 years. For me, this was a very smart move, and I have never regretted a minute of it.

Outside of blocking an infinite number of individuals, is there an easy way to avoid trolling questions on Quora?

Nope. After you answer a question, you’ll know a troll put it up by the response you get. Trolls are charter members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. You will get used to recognizing the responses and you’ll be able to simply ignore them. They don’t have a very deep focus, so they’ll get bored and move on. 

Can people break things on the Internet?

Relationships.

Can we trust someone who says they will love us forever?

If you have to ask that question, you’re already in trouble. You go into a relationship expecting the worst to happen. It probably will, as your partner will be able to feel the lack of trust and your unspoken accusations. Hell, you might be cheating on the very person who wanted to love you forever. Better that you just enjoy being with them and not worry about crap that may not happen.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

-- Ernest Hemingway

How far would you go to get respect back?

Not far. My “code of ethical conduct” pretty much protects my respect.

If my friends say that I punch like a girl. What should I do?

Take classes in martial arts. You probably won’t be punching like a girl. More to the point, after a while, no one will be able to touch you. So, punching will be a moot point.

Is Kim Jong Un a wise person?

He’s a communist person. Communism doesn’t work.  A “wise person” would know this.

Are self-respect and standing up for oneself things that parents usually teach their children or do they have to learn them on their own?

Looking at the network news, it would seem parents don’t teach children anything. Sitting on the porch at the cigar bar on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, I am pleased to see young parents, especially males, pushing the baby carriages. “Dadification” seems to have taken hold in the South, if nowhere else, God bless us.

Why are there so many people, that fail to control their dog barking continuously at night?

They probably wear earplugs. When the ass next door gets to riding motored carts at night, that’s what I do.

Can it be true that there will be people who opt to lose you rather than take responsibility for what they’ve done to you?

Most of my friends and acquaintances are ex-military or associated with ex-military. We, generally, don’t act this way. We are upfront with our responsibility, and we rarely do anything off-color to each other, unless it’s an obvious joke.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Hope, Positivity, Enemies, Smarts, and Criticism

 

Hope: A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. A feeling of trust. Want something to happen or be the case.

-- Oxford Languages

What is the definition of hope? What are some examples of when someone might give up hope?

Hope is a product of one’s faith. Hope is "a feeling of trust; a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen." You have faith in your friends, and you hope they will be able to rescue you.  

Unfortunately, faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof, so we add our hope to the mix to give our faith some substance. It may all be for naught, but that is what faith is all about.

Can you tell us about yourself without fear?

Of course.

I spent months trying to persuade this person to take a class. He then ditches it. I got threatened, punched, and yelled at him for an hour. Was my anger justified?

No, it wasn’t. Nor was your belief in this person to take the class seriously. You didn’t know what they were going to do, and they disappointed you. Ask them if they want to take the class, don't waste your time "persuading" them.

Why, on every question in [this site], are there answers that very agree, agree, semi-agree, disagree, and very disagree?

Because everyone has the freedom to voice their own opinion.

While we have made it clear that we take each other seriously, when I communicated something that was troubling me he said that he was pressured by the fact that I was "overanalyzing" it so much. What exactly should I do after that?

Tell him that you thought, both of you were going to "take each other seriously." As it turns out, only one of you understood what that meant. Sit down with him and spell out exactly what it means for you, and tell him to get with the program or go find another main squeeze.

Can we be friends?

Oh, I think you have enough friends “following” you.

"There is a large stereotype about erotic content being vulgar and crude, however, this is not always the case. There are many different kinds of written erotica available – the stories can range from romantic and subtle to aggressive and outrageous. Not all erotica is created to stun and surprise – some erotica is created to help the reader explore parts of their sexuality they’ve never experienced before.”

-- Nadia Lambrusca

What do you hope to accomplish in the next 5 years?

Life. I hope to live through the next 5 years. Any day on this side of the dirt is great, and even a better accomplishment.

Whenever I give myself a task to make me happy, I stop myself from completing the task. Why?

You’re wishy-washy.

Why don't people like to waste their time?

Because it’s a waste of their time. Life is too short. People have more important things they'd rather be doing than to waste their time on bullshit.

Are Chinese hardly humans?

They are “misguided” humans.

Is the burn-for-eternity troll destined to be the greatest person ever?

If the troll is truly going to burn for eternity, then I really don’t give a fig. Trolls are a waste of precious time better spent with people who aren’t.

How can I be extremely boring?

You are off to a great start.

“Humanity is OK, but 99% of people are boring idiots.”

-- Slavoj Žižek 

Is it possible to be too positive?

Yes, but don’t let failure deter your positivity. It is possible, but that is not always a bad thing. I fail constantly, but I always try to do things that aren’t in my wheelhouse. It isn’t that you fail, it is what you do with the failure that keeps you moving forward.

What is the difference between an idiot and a person who has little knowledge?

Not much.

How do you deal with people who don't communicate directly but use subtle ways to show there is something not right? What would happen if I ignored the hints?

I ask them what they are trying to get across. You either talk directly to me or don’t bother. Life is too short to be playing “subtle” games. Tell me what you think is not right, or get out of my way so I can get down to it. Subtlety just takes too damned long.

What made you realize your life will never be the same?

My divorce, after 25 years of marriage.

If one can't learn or has trouble learning things can he then admit he is dumb? When you are young you are born with a feeling you can do something, but family and friends tell you can't do that, do they know something about yourself you don't?

First of all, one needs to learn not to listen to “amateur” psychologists. The “doctor” can’t even heal themselves, much less help someone else. If you’re born with a feeling you can do something, then the something you’re trying to learn isn’t it. Living life is one way to find what you can do well. When you finally discover your talent, you can drill down into it until you hit the motherlode of your talent, and focus on that. Not everyone is a rocket scientist. But, then, most rocket scientists can’t paint a landscape, either.

What is the thing most people in the world misunderstand about Americans?

Do people in the world understand anything about Americans? We’re pretty basic, and they’re overthinking.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

-- George Bernard Shaw

When is being like your enemy useful?

Being like your enemy means you probably think like they do. It is only useful if your enemy doesn’t know this, as well. 

Could your enemy lie by conceding 50% instead of 100% of the factual evidence?

The factual evidence, notwithstanding, depends on what your enemy wants to reveal. “Facts” are what you make of them. It is not incumbent on your enemy to reveal anything and, if they do, you should assume they aren’t revealing everything. They are your enemy. They certainly won’t try to reveal everything you do, and you won’t be revealing everything to them, either. You are enemies, and this is what enemies do. 

What are the implications of having a high IQ and being arrogant but not insecure?

You will have very intelligent, arrogant, and secure friends., who are full of bullshit. How boring is that?

Do you love and enjoy poetry?

Yes.

How can you phrase "I'm not sure" more assertively and confidently?

“I’m very confident that I’m not sure.” Of course, you have to say it assertively and confidently, otherwise, people will think you’re full of shit. It would be more correct just to say, “I don’t know.” But, again, you need to say it assertively and confidently if you want to. Not knowing doesn’t matter if you are confident or assertive, you simply don’t know, and that is being honest. 

What is a powerful non-religious quote?

Try this:

“The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change -”

-- Heraclitus

What do you think the statement, “You’re so smart. You could be whatever you want,” means?

Someone loves you.

What are the negative thoughts that spread the most?

Right now, I’d say it is hatred, propagated by lies told through the media to their audience. Hatred is up across the board since the retaliatory strike of the Israelis against the unprovoked attack on them by Hamas. This has little to do with Palestine and much to do with Hamas, which is why Israel is trying hard to get the Palestinians out of harm’s way. When Hamas puts their control centers under hospitals, this makes it very hard.

Is life harder when you are stupid or when you are smart?

It depends on how hard you work at it.

How do you make people on Quora follow you?

You don’t make anybody do what they don’t want to do. I follow no one. Even if I enjoy their answers, it is just my way. If you want people to consider “following” you, then you must make your answers cogent, entertaining, and informative. If they don’t reflect any or all of these, the chances of getting followers are slim. 

How do you respond to someone saying "you are fat"?

“And, you’re a shit-eating dog. So, what’s your point?” 

What is a good quote for your worst enemy?

Try this:

“Kill me, or... go to sleep. The choice is yours.” 

-- F.A. Villari

Can we do better with or without criticism?

Criticism, self-critique, or being told by someone else, is a way we begin to critique our work. More times than not, it makes work better. It may not be easier, but it can be better.

What is the best response to, “You can do better”?

“Everybody can.” There is nothing that man does that they can’t do better. This is a fact. There is no such thing as perfect, there is only excellent. Excellent can always be made better, and there is always someone, out there, that thinks they can. They usually do.

Do you think bullying women is okay?

Bullying is cowardly and never okay, and bullying women is very cowardly for a man. 

What is the best response to, "I disagree"?

“I’m listening.” If they disagree they think they must have a "better" idea. If they don’t have an idea, and it isn’t better, then you can tell them, politely, to shut their pie hole until they do have a "better" idea.

Is it difficult to be a Christian? Why or why not?

Only if you belong to an organized church. It is not what Christ has in mind.

In what ways can you approach criticism with a constructive and positive attitude?

Understand that “criticism” is a way of learning to do better. You may not accept it, but you should, at least, hear what the critic has to say. Another thought, you should have done a critique of your work, before anyone else had the chance. They may like what you changed. But, a “critique” is simply a chance to learn what others like or dislike.

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Failure, Drugs, Humor, Relations, Direction, and Trolls

 

"Failure is another stepping stone to greatness."

-- Oprah Winfrey

Do you agree with this statement, ''People shouldn't be afraid of failure, they should be scared of regrets.''?

Yes. It makes much sense. Failure is the best way we learn. If someone hasn’t failed, I’d be afraid of hiring them. They have learned nothing. I would rewrite the quote, however. “People shouldn’t be afraid of failure, they should be afraid of regrets.”

To me, it reads better.

Why is there no reason for every reason?

It stands to reason, that there would always be a reason for every reason.

What are the pros and cons of suicide?

The “pros” are that you have no more problems. The “con” is that you’re dead. Another “con” is that you might be reborn into this same life so you can try to work through the issues you have. You can commit suicide again, and end up right back in this life, again, and so on and so on, until you wise up. Oh, to “wise up” would be seen as a “pro” in this. Just saying.

Are you happy with your life currently?

Ecstatically.

Why do people follow me on [this site]?

Maybe, you’re an interesting writer. Maybe they’re waiting for you to trip up. Maybe they are learning from your experience. Maybe they like your questions. Why people “follow” is up to the individual. Our tastes are varied, and following someone can be for many reasons. If they haven’t attacked you yet, keep on doing what you’re doing. Having a following is better than not being followed at all, as long as they aren’t members of the League of the Perpetually Offended, that is. 

What happens to old people who don't want to age?

If they wait a bit longer, they’ll stop aging. It is part of the cycle of life. 

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

-- Mark Twain

I was laughing and I started flying, now I’m floating right beside the ceiling and laughing, how do I get down?

LSD wears off in a little bit. Give it time.

Are the people who run [this site] sniveling cowards because they won’t do something about lies stated in the form of questions?

Yes, but it is your choice not to answer the questions. I ignore obvious lies stated by the other sniveling cowards. I just shake my head and wonder how these people ever got through centers of higher education, and then I realize the centers have become indoctrination centers. My bad.

Can a person willfully identify as a victim and be happy?

No. They might think they are, but, they are a victim, and victims are never truly happy.

Is it okay to become a trickster, to trick a trickster before they trick you? I think so, but I would like your opinion, please.

No. You risk becoming the tricksters who you trick. If they trick you, ignore them. Ignoring them just pisses them off. They trick you in order to get your response to being tricked. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

Author's comment: Thanks for your answer, I agree you have a point, that's why I asked…

But… I'm not going to ignore being tricked, I'll cut anyone off, who does that, and I'm not going quietly.

I agree, there's a risk, when you pre-emptively resort to trickster methods, depending on what you know about the other person or not….

If it's someone, you've been warned about, and as long as you stick to tricks within the boundaries of law and good morals… well…

But it is a balancing act, of course.

What do you think of Quora's terrible decision to start allowing loaded questions?

It is terrible. If you find a loaded question, ignore it, and tell the rest of us.

Do you think the popular thinkers of this decade should write a compilation of their short biographies called "Stories of Our Lives"?

It might make good reading, but, who would decide who the “popular thinkers of this decade” are? Also, you will have to wait for seven more years to determine them. And, we’re back to my first question.

“Nobody who says as little as he does is as simple as you'd think. It takes a lot to not say a lot, because when you're not talking, you're thinking, and he thinks a lot. My mum and dad talked all the time. Talkers don't think much; their words drown out any possibility of hearing their subconscious asking, Why did you say that? What do you really think?”

-- Cecelia Ahern 

Does everyone have a different sense of humor?

Yes! Variety keeps us hopping. What one person sees as funny, the next might see as tacky. “Slapstick” is an acquired taste, for instance.

What's one thing you know now that you wished you knew earlier?

I found out that, what I knew love was, should be also felt by the partner you fall in love with. I was used for 25 years just so she could get her hands on half of my retirement. She admitted that she never loved me. A bitter pill to swallow, after 25 years of trying to keep it together. I have been more careful with my emotional attachments since, and have been much happier.

What age is a kid when half of their childhood is over?

It used to be six. Looking at what idiots we currently have in college, I’d say twelve, at a minimum. Like children, they seem to believe what they’re told, instead of doing due diligence. Very sad. 

In your "subjective" opinion, is it important to have fun with learning or is it all about discipline, persistence, and responsibility?

I almost didn’t graduate from high school. I wasn’t learning anything I wanted to learn. Granted, now I see the reasoning behind the courses we were forced to learn. But, in my humble opinion, if you have a topic you want to learn, you will find the discipline, persistence, and responsibility to learn it, and you will have more fun doing it. In my day, and for the most part, teachers taught subjects but they didn’t make them fun to learn. I suppose it was better than being indoctrinated and learning nothing of substance.

I hate being 80 years old. What can I do about it?

Lie.

What topics should I cover to be able to present myself as a wise person?

A truly “wise” person would already know the answer. You can’t simply “present” yourself as a wise person. People will, sooner or later, see right through the presentation. You are what you are, and have no reason to present yourself unless your ego needs stroking. The truly wise have no reason to be stroked. They, simply, are what they are.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

-- Socrates

Is it normal that I've never been satisfied in a relationship?

Nowadays, it seems “dissatisfaction” is the norm. People tend to “couple up” without really considering how much they care for each other. The sacred “vows” we recite for marriage become the confetti we use at the end of the ceremony. In relationships, nothing seems sacred anymore.

Is it possible that every time anyone expresses a silly reason for something, they may be giving that reason as a joke or that they are embarrassed to share their own opinions?

Anything is possible.

What would you say about persevering that makes you try even harder than you are now? Do trials make you stronger? Why? How do you gain wisdom as it’s important to renew your mind?

Perseverance, by definition, is “doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.” How “hard” it is has no bearing on you doing it until you achieve success. You will fail, many times, before you achieve your goal. Failure and mistakes are the best way we learn. Failure and mistakes are the basis for gaining wisdom, as long as you learn from them.

Which has more emotional meaning for you, having your question answered or being able to answer someone else's question?

Giving a good, short, cogent answer to someone else’s question. 

What's one thing that people (the society) think it's right but truly isn't?

Ignoring good manners, especially when it has to do with the basics for other people, like pulling out a chair, opening a door, offering an arm or a hand for support, compliments, and the like.

The cost of fearlessness is what?

Death. Fear is a necessary factor for survival.

“Courage is feeling fear, not getting rid of fear, and taking action in the face of fear.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Don't you think that humanity is really purposefully directed somewhere and directed somewhere? Aren't the people, i.e. their biological, social, and psychological characteristics of various non-mixing groups so complex that it is not directed somewhere?

Understanding the question as best I can make of it, I’d have to say, sure.

What makes certain values seen as more important than others?

Importance, in any arena, has to do with situational awareness. If the situation is calm, it is easier to deal with values that are not that important. If the situation is tense, only those values you are willing to deal with are important. Everything in life depends on the situation. 

Can stress or lies be detected by the sound of someone's voice?

It is one factor.

Why do some people misinterpret context which contains a lot of emotion in it on social media?

Because what some people consider “context” is not made very clear, which means the “context” can be misunderstood. If one wishes to put something into context, it should be made very clear and simple to understand. By definition, it should be stated “in terms of which it can be fully understood and assessed.”

What is a six-line sentence?

Ignorance of the “rules” of punctuation.

Standards of hope, is hope subjective? What can be some examples?

Well, by definition, “something subjective is based on personal opinions and feelings rather than on facts.” And, where hope is concerned, there are no “facts” or you wouldn’t need to hope. “I hope someone will rescue me.” There is no guarantee of rescue. It isn’t a foregone fact. You might be rescued, or you might not.

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

-- Shel Silverstein

What are the benefits of interacting with trolls?

Nada, zero, none. There is no benefit to trolls, other than they make a cute toy for children. Which makes a lot of sense. The trolls act like children, so why shouldn’t they be a cute toy for them?

Why do you always allow trolls to post obvious troll questions?

I have no control over trolls. Only the site managers do.

What are some things that make bullying escalate? And what are some things that de-escalate?

Submissiveness escalates the bullying. Kicking the crap out of the bully might de-escalate it. It worked for me.

Can it be true that it takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn how to keep quiet?

At 70 years of age, that has been my experience. I have no filter.

What are the benefits of being realistic rather than optimistic?

“Being optimistic, it is going to happen. Realistically, there’s no chance in hell.” Being realistic, you have a better chance of being right. The odds are in your favor.

What are the effects of over-disciplining or not disciplining a child enough?

Over-discipline, the child will hate you. Not disciplining, and you might hate the child.

“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

-- Plato

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com