So, Attractive Is In? (Updated from 7/22/2014)

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

-- Confucious

The title of this post was changed to what it is because the title of the original post became the subject of small-minded critique by members of my monastery who found the four-letter adjective, for the three-letter noun which references reproduction, to be objectionable. There is a saying here in the South, "Don't get into a braying contest with a jackass." For those not up on southern colloquialisms, it simply advises you shouldn't argue with someone whose I.Q. and maturity level is less than half their age. To this end, I have changed the four-letter word to "attractive." The only other time this adjective was used in the original post was in the second paragraph.

To be perfectly honest, the adjective was not what I thought might garner the unwanted attention of the "Monastery Nazis." I was afraid the lead-in photo I used, a provocative torso shot of a woman with ruby red lipstick with a skimpy red evening dress would be the subject of their rant. Imagine my surprise to find that Webster's Dictionary would be my undoing. 

Socialism, at its root, begs the attention of the immature, and in today's American socialist environment, I probably should have expected some small-minded Gestapo stormtrooper to burn my books and bind my hands. For the benefit of these particular folks, an "adjective" is a word, or words, that describe something or an attribute of something. For instance, "I am beautiful" includes nouns, verbs, and adjectives. But, I digress. 

I wanted to follow up on that post of June 12, 2014. For those that haven't read the original post, you will find it on my blog, The Path. Since this will also probably find its way to the Monastery website, for the benefit of my fellow ministers, I hesitate to offer up the direct link as the four-letter adjective is still a part of the title. So, instead of repeating the previous mistake, bear with me and please utilize the following link: Click On This

In the original post, I give men hell for letting the fact that they're fat or homely be the reason for not taking care of the way they groom, dress, act, and speak.  I included men in this discussion after I gave women hell for not making the most out of what God gave them to work with.  I am a firm believer that with the proper make-over you can, more times than not, make a silk purse from a sow's ear.  I try to make the point less eloquently in the following two paragraphs:

Men, if you think you're immune from this, think again.  Most of you slovenly miscreants couldn't find a quality woman because you rarely find the sober ability to part your ass cheeks long enough to pull your head out and take a breath of fresh air much less bathe, shave, put on some fine threads, and, yes, learn to walk, talk, and act so a woman of any worth would give you a first, much less a second, look.  Try getting a haircut and combing what's left.  Try wearing pants that don't droop half past your butt crack and, by the way, boxer shorts worn in plain sight are not a fashion statement to anyone, except the person wearing them and it certainly isn't a sign of good breeding.   Let me say that all of this is aimed at the teenagers that do it.  You guys over thirty that do it, well, really?  GROW THE HELL UP!  The fact that you think you can act like you're eighteen is just, well, sad.  Any woman that thinks he's "cute" needs a serious reality check.  God was kind enough to give a man two heads, how about using the one with a brain in it occasionally.  If you want to really be different, try acting like an adult, or at least like a person that gives one shit about who they are and where they are going in life, after you wake up from your drug or alcohol-induced coma tomorrow morning. 

The point here is very simple.  Attractive has always been in.  It doesn't matter what your shape is.  It matters who you are and how you present yourself.  If your goal in life is to be trailer trash, I respect that.  Go for it!  But, at least be the best trailer trash you can be and please don't bitch to the rest of us about how miserable your life is.  It is your life!

I believe this to be fairly accurate and true, to a point.  Whereas you can make a silk purse from a sow's ear, I also believe that there are times you just can't take the country out of the boy.  He can go to college, dress himself up in a wardrobe of expensive sportswear, buy himself that $60,000 SUV, and when everything is said and done they can still be a well-dressed, college-educated, hot car and boat-owning trailer trash.  The minute that country yokel opens his loud, obnoxious, mouth he is just another backward-ass country boy that thinks he's all he isn't.

I have had the unfortunate, and embarrassing, opportunity to witness a couple of these boys in action recently.  I would have felt bad for the attractive women they were with but, hey, these were guys of their own choosing.  These guys were not really overweight or unattractive.  They had the expected beer guts and what I could best describe as that good ol' boy, baby fat face.  So, I figure they didn't have to work very hard to have some possibilities, some potential.  And then, they had to go and speak.  They were loud, obnoxiously loud, with that good ol' boy, backward ass, country drawl.  The drawl was so thick to the point you just knew they had to be playing it up.  I find this kind of ignorance plays as well for whites as using ebonics and the "N-word" plays for blacks.  It doesn't.  It's simply obvious evidence that ignorance is ignorance.

One of the two guys strutted passed me acting like he was all that.  I would have snickered at his failure to pull it off if I weren't gasping for oxygen.  The bottle of cheap cologne he'd bathed in, not that long ago, was shortening the life span of several children in the grocery store, contaminating produce, and setting off an overly sensitive CO2 detector.  Luckily the supermarket is a no-smoking area because an open flame would have put us on the local news and cost untold thousands in window damage for a several-block radius.  To the ladies traveling in the SUV with these two guys, all I can say is, "Sucks being you."

In your journey to make the most of what God gave you to work with, don't get too wrapped up in the, well...wrapping.  You can buy very expensive wrapping paper, tissue, and a large bow but, if all you're wrapping is a piece of shit, it will still be a piece of shit wrapped nicely.  And, I don't care how expensive the cologne is if you get too close.  You might have to ask which is worse, the cologne or the piece of shit it's trying to mask... unsuccessfully.

Everyone concerns themselves with physical expectations.  What's outside is a paint job, and that paint job can be the best money can buy, but if the foundation is corrupt, or if the framing has dry rot and termites, then the paint just masks the true issues.  Most "quality" people can see through the paint, the facade.  They knock on the walls and look at the foundation.  It might be a larger property than they want, but if it's a sound investment it just might win them over.  There is nothing that beats a sound investment picked up by a solid investor.  This is a great, long-term, relationship.

So, guess what, chubby?  If you walk the walk and talk the talk; if you show a woman you have possibilities; if you can balance the backwoods yokel with some sophisticated "man about town," then maybe what you look like won't be as important as how interesting you are, if it comes into play at all.  Dare to be the most interesting man in the world.  Dare to be what you want to be.  Dare to be more than the sum of your parts, whatever the hell that means.

Again, understand me; I am not an advocate of becoming something you are not.  If, and only if, your goal is to work with what God gave you and stop making excuses for being less than what God intended you to be.  Accept that you have some physical shortcomings and want to rise above them.  If you want people to notice that there is a beautiful person trying to get out, then you also have to believe you are the mature, beautiful person you want everyone to see.  Otherwise, be who you are, there is nothing wrong with that.  I support the freedom for people to be what they want, no matter how much cheap cologne they wear or how much it burns my eyes.  I can only repeat what I said in the last paragraph of my previous post:

It doesn't matter what your shape is.  It matters who you are and how you present yourself.  If your goal in life is to be trailer trash, I respect that.  Go for it!  But, at least be the best trailer trash you can be and please don't bitch to the rest of us about how miserable your life is.  It is your life!

As usual, this is just an opinion, my opinion. Opinions are great "pot stirrers" and more people should voice theirs. One person's opinion is another person's stepping-off point to creating an opinion of their own. My goal is never to try and convince, or to preach. My goal is to try and make people think. Sometimes, I don't even agree with me. I can write something then sit back and ask myself, "Where do you come up with this drivel?" Then, occasionally, I find I'm right on target. What you think is never the point. The point is, always, that you think at all.  The more important question is, "Why?"

“Every broken heart has screamed at one time or another: Why can't you see who I truly am?”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com