Questioning Sense, Attitude, Living, Humor, and Baiting

"Any idiot can fly a plane, but it takes a special kind of idiot to jump out of one."

-- Anonymous

(I, wholeheartedly, agree.) 

Have you ever felt like you were the only person in your friend group who had any common sense?

Always, but it didn’t stop me, as a friend, supervisor, and manager, from considering intelligent feedback from the group. Having good sense doesn’t mean you’re more intelligent.  Smarter, maybe.

What is the difference between false pride and healthy self-esteem?

False pride is the bullshit you show so people think you have healthy self-esteem.

Do you know anyone who could improve themselves because someone was brutally honest with them?

I did, and when I was brutally honest with my son, he also improved himself. I almost didn’t graduate from high school, and my son was on that same road. I sat down with him and explained the facts of reality. He graduated and went off to UC Riverside to languish on the “Dean’s List” for most of his education. He has spent the past 23 years working for a telecommunications company pulling down six figures.

Can you think of anything more stupid than celebrating pride?

Celebrating stupidity.

How do you show respect and humility?

Understand that everything isn’t all about you. Be selfless when you deal with others. Put them first when safety allows it, but put your oxygen mask on first so you can help others with their masks. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. As far as respect, you get what you give. If you give and they take advantage, you have the right to take your respect back. You can always respect the office, but not the person holding the position.

Do you hate people too?

I have only hated one person in my entire 70 years of life. We divorced.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Can you judge a person's attitude towards others by looking at their face?

As long as they’re not an Intelligence field agent.

How would you explain the difference between "being humble" and "acting humble"?

This is pretty simple. If you “act” humble you really aren’t “being” humble. Humility is being selfless and putting others before yourself, always. If you “act” humble for selfish reasons, people will, eventually, see right through it and you’ll earn the nickname of “Poopy Head.”

Can someone have low self-esteem but be outwardly arrogant?

Oh, my yes. They use their arrogance to cover for their low self-esteem. Bullies are the ones I usually see doing this. I see arrogance as bullying without the antagonism or threat of violence.

How can someone get rid of low self-esteem as an adult? Why does low self-esteem happen in the first place?

Yes. Low esteem happens when you, or others, think you are less than you really are. You aren’t stupid, you simply don’t know. Everybody is smarter or more intelligent than someone. An example would be when a doctor learns to put his ego in his pocket and to treat everyone with respect.

I almost didn’t graduate from high school, but I did well enough in college to get me into the Intelligence field when I was drafted for the Vietnam “police action.” I stayed with Intelligence for 23 years. Being honest, respectful, and “smart” has garnered me positions I might not have readily been chosen for, otherwise.

I’m not the most intelligent man in the room. But, when I entered the room I took a second to do a visual inventory of all the possible “weapons” I can use to protect myself or others, and I search out the possible exits. I don’t think everyone does this, so I figure my chances of survival and saving people are more than the average person’s.

What is the saying about confidence and experience?

I’ve always told the people under me that you can move forward with more confidence if you have the experience and knowledge. Learn as much as you can, and don’t be afraid to experience life.

Is the love for the truth the base of maturity?

It is half of the base. The other half is understanding.

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”

-- Douglas Adams

Why does everyone fail at living?

Not everyone fails at living. The dead fail big time, but living is a success.

What is the difference between bravery and stupidity?

Bravery and courage both critique the needs of the situation before jumping in. If people don’t take a moment to assess the danger, they’re stupid.

Reader comment: I salute you on your concise and accurate answer, possibly the best answer I have seen on Quora to date.

Why is it almost impossible not to offend people on every topic?

They are members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. I ignore them.

What are your thoughts on pride? Is there anything wrong with being proud of yourself? Why or why not? How would one be proud of themselves, if at all, in an appropriate way (i.e., not too prideful)?

There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself, as long as you don’t lord your achievements above those of others. Being “prideful” in front of others, or thinking of yourself as more than others, is considered a sin. But, being proud of yourself for attaining a goal, is different. Being selfless is mentoring others to join you. Everyone wants to feel pride in themselves.

Are your days the same?

All my days are the same. What I do during the day is varied.

How sacrosanct is a promise freely made and legally possible to fulfill? Does it matter if fulfilling the promise has a negative impact on others? Does it matter if conditions and/or assumptions that were present when the promise was made change?

Don’t make a promise you cannot fulfill. Yes, it does matter if it impacts others negatively. Yes, it does matter if the conditions or assumptions change. A promise is only as good as the person fulfilling it. So, if you fail at fulfilling it for all the right reasons, you are still a good person. The person you made the promise to should realize this. The “promise” became invalid due to changes, and if the person doesn’t understand this, who is the bad actor?

Author's comment: My father made a promise to my mother during their divorce that she would be responsible for my education. She has delegated that responsibility and as a result, I have suffered material harm.

I failed after my mother could not deliver me on time to the school 22 miles away from her house and in a different district, and then expelled when I proved that I was not “cutting class.” I provided a copy of my mother’s emails, invoices, and bank statements proving my point.

(Which I freely admit belonged to my mother and not me. But she lied about me to her attorney, who repeated her lie about me to the school, causing the school to believe that I was in the building and cutting class while I was at my mom’s house waiting for the car service.)

When I asked for my dad’s help representing my interests before the family court he reminded me of his promise and declined.

While I understand that ultimatums rarely work in getting people to see things your way, time is of the essence. I have moved out and cut my mother out of my life. I told him that he can break his promise and help me or I will cut him out of my life as well.

Since he has already given me away, I won’t be losing a father, I will be losing a mirage of a father. I needed parents. Instead, I have … well … nothing.

My reply: Sometimes nothing is better than bad.

“Words can be twisted into any shape. Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul. In the final analysis, words mean nothing. They are labels we give things in an effort to wrap our puny little brains around their underlying natures, when ninety-nine percent of the time the totality of the reality is an entirely different beast. The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them.”

-- Karen Marie Moning

I don't like it when people find my desires funny. What should I do?

Develop a sense of humor? I have many desires people find funny. Sucks being them, but I learned to laugh at myself. Don’t take yourself so seriously. These are your desires, not theirs. Try laughing with them.

Which quote deserves 666666 upvotes?

“It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is, again.” — F.A. Villari

Are humble people the most respected people in the world?

They should be, but the “squeaky wheel” gets the grease. Most “humble” people don’t squeak much. The sad reality is that the squeaky wheel is a sign of fatigue, stress, and a lack of imagination. It is a wheel, though, and only goes in circles.

If 49 is the answer, what is the question?

What number comes after 48?

How do you navigate the balance between ambition and contentment in your pursuit of success?

Success in life is simply choosing to be happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Everything else is attaining goals. Be content with the fact you have ambition. Many people don’t. 

How do you deal with failure and setbacks on the road to success?

Setbacks and failures are the best way we learn. If you have neither of them, what have you learned? There is a quote from a noted inventor that makes the point:

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

Why does [this site] promote clickbaity questions?

Because the League of the Perpetually Offended has the freedom to populate the site. The best tact is not to take the bait. Unfortunately, it is a matter of trial and error.

 Why do ignorant people think using big words makes them sound smart?

They “think” multiple syllables make them sound smart. Unfortunately, ignorant people usually use the wrong “big” words. They lose the fact that most “smart” people use small words so everyone understands. Intelligent people, on the other hand…

How much of [this site] are just people plugging questions into AI facilities like ChatGPT and copying low value-add answers wholesale?

I have my doubts.

Why do some people think it’s funny or enjoyable to bully or intentionally hurt others?

Some people are simply sad reflections of mankind. To find it funny or enjoyable to intentionally hurt another person is sociopathic. There are many reasons for sociopathic behavior, but it is enough for the rest of us to know this behavior is wrong. I was bullied in high school, and the bullying stopped in college. I think people expected more maturity, so the bullies had to change or be arrested. 

When does obstinate behavior become stupid behavior?

When one “stubbornly adheres to an opinion, purpose, or course in spite of reason, arguments, or persuasion” that proves them to be wrong (i.e., stupid).

Why is every new/young generation so arrogant?

They think people will take immature arrogance seriously. Arrogance is stupid, and most people understand this. Instead of being taken seriously, they are usually ignored, or labeled… and ignored.

"The wide world was changing, and she wanted a different place in it. Not just wanted, but felt she deserved. If the world didn't owe her a living, as her mother repeatedly warned her, it owed her a break. She had a strong sense that a better, more exciting, more rewarding life than that which had been the lot of her parents and grandparents was hers by right. In this, she was guilty of nothing more serious than the arrogance of youth, from which every generation suffers and by which it distinguishes itself from the preceding one."

-- James Robertson

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com