My Sunday Thought for 061718: To Mothers on Father's Day

The only woman in the world who will still cradle you in her arms even if you've stabbed her loving heart each time you've hung up her calls, thrown away her delicious food just because your friends thought Subway was cool; got a red-ink stained progress report; told her to go away in the presence of your apparently 'cool' friends, ignored her for telling you to do your school work before play; taking juvenile revenge on her for only protecting you from the seemingly harmless evils in the world around you.

And still she says she loves you and you will always be her child, no matter what.

It's not just the placenta that forms a bond between a mother and a child.

It's the mother herself who loves her child unconditionally.

-- Anonymous

As a father, and a grandfather, I thought it only fitting on Father's Day to pay homage to the women, the mothers, who allow us to pass on our genetic material for the express purpose of procreation.  More importantly, they have selflessly volunteered to take significant time out of their lives, at least 18 years of it, to rear our progeny so they become caring and productive members of society.  They undertake this mission knowing full well that this caring will not end when their child leaves the nest.  Like a U.S. Marine, they will be always faithful. Mothers who volunteer for this duty know that they're responsibility, caring, and love for children will never cease; they become mothers for eternity and, if they've thrown heart and soul into it, they become mother for more than just their own children.  Once a mother always a mother and it is a trait they will be hard pressed to ignore.  So, on this Father's Day, I salute all you mothers out there and offer up this post to you, and all women who consider motherhood.  Now, having stated this...

You cannot just have the sex of a lifetime, squirt out a child, and declare you're a mother.  A mother doesn't have children just to propagate the species, or pad the welfare check at the end of each month.  There is only one valid reason for a woman to have a child - to become a mother!  Any other reason, to my way of thinking, is total bullshit.

Putting oneself through the intense pain of passing a ripe melon through a keyhole only garners a woman the title of "childbearing woman." For all intents and purposes this title is her "participation" award.  It is only after the woman bears the child that she will begin to earn the title of "mother" if, and only if, she accepts the challenge of raising said child.  She will be given that title by those onlookers, family and friends, watching how she participates in the game of life.  What she does, and why she does it, will help to build that golden trophy of motherhood which she will enjoy throughout her life.  

I can only imagine what it must feel like to be a child without a true mother.  As luck would have it, I was blessed to have one of the best.  I also cannot imagine being a single father and having to be both father and mother to a child.  The only experience I can honestly relate to is having my God-given right to be a father taken away from me.  If a child without a mother feels half the pain of a father without a child, my sympathy is abundant.  If you want to see a man who has lost his soul, find the man who has lost his children.  Sometimes, as a parent, you are forced to make good, selfless, decisions for your children to offset poor decisions which have insinuated someone else's selfish desires and consequences into their innocent lives.  Children, for their part, have no say in this trespass.  Unfortunately, these children have to live with the unwanted consequences.  No child should be subjected to divorce.

“No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.”

-- Margaret Sanger (1879-1966), nurse, birth-control activist, writer

There are those women, more so in today's societies, who conscientiously opt out of motherhood.  To these women I also give a hearty bravo!  This decision they make shows the responsibility of someone who realizes child rearing might not be their forte; they might have a career or bucket-list of to do items for which child rearing might hold them back from accomplishing.  The point being that they have made a decision which, I think, will work out for them and, in the long run, the child they might have had. 

I am so pro birth-control.  I believe that if you are incapable of taking care of an animal you shouldn't have a pet.  The poor animal will simply feel abused.  By the same token, and for the same reasons, if you aren't ready to be a mother, then don't.  Don't ever think that you have to be a mother, or a father.  Having to do something is never the best reason to do it; you can never be fully vested in it.  Children require this parental investment.

Oh, and about abortion, abortion should be reserved for cause, like rape, incest, and safety.  Abortion should never be an option for women who think they won't get pregnant, again and again, and again, especially when there is available means to prevent it.  Unfortunately, the best birth control is sterilization and, while I hate to say it, some people just need to have it done since they obviously have no self-control over their own lives and no guilt over the lives they destroy, repeatedly.  Yes, I am unapologetically pro-life and perhaps any parent that isn't might want to seriously consider why they are a parent in the first place.  It just screams hypocrisy; you can't have it both ways.  Just saying.

“I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love & duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting & challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.”

-- Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy 

All that my daughter seemed to talked about in high school was being a mother.  She didn't talk about college, only about dedicating herself to motherhood.  I'm not sure where she got this desire.  When she graduated high school and got married to her marine, she immediately set in motion her plans for motherhood.  She has never looked back.  Despite worries from some family, and the disappointment of her not continuing into college, she has risen to her own challenge and become one of the best mothers I have ever seen.

I could not be more proud of her decision or her ability as a mother, which I never doubted.  I shut down her naysayers by speaking the truth that I would no matter what she did, and I would love her all the more if she tried and failed, because at least she had the courage to try.  I would hate to think what she would do if those kids were ever put at risk.

“There's no bitch on earth like a mother frightened for her kids.”

-- Stephen King, author

So, I salute motherhood!  God bless the women with the courage to not only take on the mantle, but to endeavor to do it right.  Being there doesn't mean she can't enjoy a career as well.  What it means is that, given the choice, being a mother to her kids takes precedence.  It takes precedence because there is no occupation in the universe more important than rearing a child.  There is nothing more important than ensuring the child knows they come first in your heart, they will be protected and loved.  Without a mother's patience and wisdom, her understanding and limitless, unconditional love, what a child is left with, if they're lucky, is the father; as much as I applaud single fathers, you really aren't the same thing, no matter how hard you try.  A mother's love is just that special.

So, for this Father's Day, if there is a mother in your life, a relative, a friend, or even a co-worker who you know gives her all for job and family, tell them you appreciate them, and all they do, to be mom.  Give them a hug and a smile because, as they may not get the appreciation enough it will mean so much to them that others notice their heartfelt efforts.

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind.”

-- Howard W. Hunter (1907-1995), lawyer, LDS leader

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with a world renowned Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.