My Sunday Thought for 051318: Money, Power, and Position?

Truth, loyalty, and a kind heart are virtues to be cherished!  Well, okay... sometimes I've been known to fudge, for purely selfish reasons, where truth and loyalty are concerned; I should be ashamed, and I am.  Those lapses in integrity are few and far between, but they do happen, and that's the truth.  Protecting the innocent, whether in one's personal life or the conduct of business, politics, or militarily, extracts a heavy price on those who know too much and actually care.  I's like to think I've always have a kind heart, which is difficult when confronted by the League of the Perpetually Offended and other morons in society, but I do try.  As for money, power, and position, I equate them to the ills of the world; that is to say, greed and selfishness, egotism, usury and the like.  But, then, that's just my opinion (my humble opinion on "opinions" is found several paragraphs down).

“Contrary to popular opinion, leadership is not a reserved position for a particular group of people who were elected or appointed, ordained or enthroned. Leadership is self-made, self-retained, self-inculcated and then exposed through a faithful, sincere and exemplary life.” 

― Israelmore Ayivor, author, inspirational blogger

Do you know what your money, power, and position, buy you?  Well, people who give a damn about your money, power, and position.  This is what I like about our small town cigar bar in Pass Christian - we don't give a damn.  You might as well leave your title, rank, position, and ego at the door, because you are about to enter a level playing field where a flak jacket is a requirement, the frying pan is hot, and the thickness of your skin and respect for everyone around you will determine how you fare during your visit.

People are rich or not, religious or not, political or not, intelligent or not and smart or not (yes, there is a difference), and what we are or not is just about that important to those around us... or not.  I wish more people could visit the cigar bar.  The underlying question for the regular patrons of this establishment is why more people can't be like us; we argue and then shake hands and have another drink.  Maybe it's about respect.

“Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given.”

-- Hussein Nishah (1538-1599), Sufi poet, philosopher, "beggar king"

People shouldn't be bigoted on any level.  We shouldn't think our political opinion is anything more than an opinion, and opinions driven by hatred determine our transparency and shallowness of thought.  My dad used to say that opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.  So far he has been right, and this acceptance may help explain my desire for the disclaimer found at the end of all my posts.

Just the other afternoon, I sat with a politically liberal couple and listened to them bash the current President. When they started after the First Lady I decided to put a stop to their vocal ignorance and lack of respect. As a transparent prelude to insulting Melania Trump, he began by asking if we could find anything wrong with Michelle Obama as First Lady. Well, even though my list of answers to this question was long, I also believe that two wrongs don't make a right. I held back my own opinion and told these folks, instead, that verbally attacking a sitting president was one thing but verbal abuse of the rest of the First Family was simply showing a lack of class. Women and children are sacrosanct. Their sheepish look at this kind of rebuke is usually followed by the usual backpedaling and change of subject, as was the case in this instance. 

 Some opinions, especially those which reflect the speaker's questionable intelligence and lack of class, are best kept private, and the more this shortfall is publically pointed out, usually will be.  The other option is that they will totally lose their minds and inundate the conversation with "facts" which they know cannot be readily validated and usually have no basis in reality.  These folks are the League of the Perpetually Offended.  But, once again, I digress.

Because power corrupts, society's demands for moral authority and character increase as the importance of the position increases.

-- John Adams (1735-1797), 2nd U.S. President

Where wealth is concerned, there are plenty of folks out there who are wealthy and do great things with their wealth, whether out of altruism or guilt.  Why they do it is of much less importance to the general public than that they do it.  However, one would think the guilt aspect might be the impetus for a shift in thinking on the part of the wealthy.  Instead of simply pumping money out to charities, how about getting your hands dirty; get involved, like Microsoft's Bill and Melinda Gates do with their foundation.  Oh, and true altruism is anonymous, not egotistically public, though hands-on involvement of high-profile wealthy, like the Gates', makes this difficult.  I'd also like to see more political figures doing their jobs because they're patriots, giving up their paychecks to charities as a way to endear themselves to those who elected them, and to those who didn't.  This would earn politicians some much needed respect.

"Relationships are never about power, and one way to avoid the will to hold power over another is to choose to limit to oneself - to serve. Humans often do this - in touching the infirm and sick, in serving the ones whose minds have left to wander, in relation to the poor, in loving the very old and the very young, or even in caring for the others who has assumed a position of power over them." 

-- William P. Young, author

Titles of respect would presuppose a modicum of respect for the person with the title.  Politicians work for us, does it confuse anyone that we're supposed to show them more respect than they show those who pay them; you know... us.  Doctors are all about interviewing a prospective patient to see if they want them as patients; I'm all about interviewing the doctor to ensure I wanted them as my provider of care.  Just because you have a degree doesn't mean I immediately respect you, like you, or need you.  Get over yourself.  I love it when someone hits me with a required title of address and I fire back with my "required" title of "mister" or "master sergeant" in order to ensure I make the point of garnering the same respect in kind.  I don't require that respect, but it grinds me when someone automatically feels they have some selfish right to rise above their station, especially when they haven't proved to me they deserve it.

I took an astronomy course from Sacramento City College when I was in the Air Force.  The PhD. giving the course introduced himself and insisted everyone be on a first name basis, since there was such a wide variety of rank in the room.  He felt his title of "Doctor" was less impressive than the Major sitting in the room that flew combat aircraft.  He immediately garnered my respect for his attitude about titles.  If you want a respected title, show the people you deserve it by returning the respect, even unto the custodian who has to clean your toilet.  Earning respect and showing respect, in kind, are the ways in which we garner truth, loyalty, and kindness from those we work for and those who work for us.

“Self-leaders are still true leaders even if they have no known followers. True leaders inspire by the influence of their characters and general self-made brands. Leadership is defined by the virtues of one's behavior.”

― Israelmore Ayivor, author, inspirational blogger

Titles and position give you the right to rule, but it earns you little respect from those around you, and who you end up being surrounded by are other shallow, egotistical, assholes that wouldn't know a kind heart and could care less.  During my long military career, having a beer with my subordinates, when I could have been brown-nosing the brass, earned me a lot of respect and helped complete the mission with numerous accolades which I humbly showered on the team.  How your subordinates complete the task at hand has much to do with the respect they give those leaders over them.  Roll up your sleeves and prepare to get dirty; it's a concept which will earn much respect from those who really matter.  Accomplishing the task ahead of time with little or no errors and under budget will earn respect from those in charge.

If you're looking for respect I have a suggestion for you - try having good ethics. Try being firm, but have a kind heart while doing so. Have a kind heart because doing so is better than the alternative. Having a kind heart means the title and position are just title and position, which have little to do with the true respect you garner from those around you. I have found the people around you, especially subordinates, are the important key to your success or failure. So, be kind and be fair, be honest. If you show heartfelt respect to the people around you, they will return it to you many fold.  And, as for those times you are selfish?  Well, they're more apt to forgive or, at the very least, to understand.

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.”

― Roy T. Bennett (1939-2014), author, CPA, political activist

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with a world renowned Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.