My Sunday Thought for 050618: Got Life?

I loved the image I chose for introducing this post.  It reminded me of what I tell my group each and every Sunday morning, "Good morning!  Welcome to another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in life!"  Like the image says, each and every new day is another chance for us to make better choices and decisions in order to change our life, hopefully for the better.

I went to my favorite local beachfront restaurant cum watering hole the other day, in order to find some impetus for this post.  I had a beer and pondered my latest conclusion, that my body is getting a jump on my upcoming 65th birthday and has decided to start falling apart.  I have found the meaning of life, having eluded me for six decades, comes down to wearing tropical-print shirts, eating chargrilled oysters at half price, and drinking two-dollar wells, two-dollar bottled domestic beer, and three-dollar beers on tap.  You know, "happy" hour on the Gulf Coast.  The meaning of life really wasn't all that difficult; it simply came down to being happy regardless of circumstances.

As for that other burning question which eluded me, having to do with the meaning, definition, or the existence of God?  Well, I have come to accept it is what it is and there is nothing we can do, or say, or believe, which will have any bearing on a power which we cannot even grasp.  Faith tells me to accept what is and what might be.  Faith, and what I like to call "Parmenides Paradox," tells me that if I can think it, it exists.  Therefore, if we think of nothing as a void of non-existence, the void exists.  It pays, therefore, to think of myself as a stud.  How great is that?  Of course, I also think of myself as full of crap and constantly pressing the boundaries of good taste, so...

"There's some end at last for the man who follows a path; mere rambling is interminable."

-- Seneca the Elder (54 BC-39 AD), Roman rhetorician, writer

So, I'm on my second two-dollar bottle of beer, and I find my pen is writing slower than my brain is rambling.  Every time I stop to catch up, my hand stops too.  Damn my brain, anyway.  Multitasking might be my forte, but an inability to singletask dooms me to remain a paragraph ahead.  One would think I could ramble slower... and there I go, rambling again.

I entertained six people in my post-traumatic stress (PTSD) group on Sunday.  Six people is a good sized group to work with.  Most of them were, as usual, less than enthusiastic at having a chaplain address them on Sunday morning.  Everyone expects fire and brimstone, a boring "come to Jesus" meeting.  Their expectation of a religious sermon is short lived, however, and fifteen minutes into my spiel the majority were attentive and smiling, if not laughing.  Socrates once said, “I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think."  I lead off by telling them this quote, and I repeat it in most of my discussions with other folks.  After all, it would be a great waste of time to try and make someone believe what they don't wish to.  It is much easier to open a mind than to beat it into submission.

“Once you learn to love yourself first, you will be able to attract love and healthy relationships. What you feel inside is obvious outside. That glow, that radiance which you exude has a cascading effect on everyone around you. So love yourself first, love yourself freely and with all your heart. You will be able to love others much better and spread love all around.”

-- Latika Teotia, inspirational writer  

I think most people want to believe in something.  I think most people would like to have faith in something, even if it's just in them.  I like to start with the person.  Like flight attendants on airlines always tell us, put your oxygen mask on first before assisting the passenger next to you.  You can't truly love someone else unless you first love yourself any more than you can help someone before you help yourself.  You can't truly have faith in anything unless you first have faith in yourself.  Doctor, heal thyself! 

I have found most folks in group to be receptive to this selfish philosophy of "me first." They usually find it interesting that a person of faith would rather they believe in themselves first, have faith in themselves first, than to have faith in anything else or no faith at all.  Well, we all have to start somewhere, why not start with you?  Every new day is another day to make positive changes in your life.  Each new day means we have been blessed with yet another gift of life so we may continue to discover and travel our path.  Each new day is another glorious day in paradise to share with those around us.  The task becomes putting aside the selfishness of self and learning to share your knowledge and opinions with others while remaining open minded to theirs.

I tell the group stories they can relate to, in "colorful" language they can understand.  I talk about the need of finding, or rediscovering, their personal faith and, from that, their personal path.  I emphasize the importance of not asking, "What happened?"  It is more beneficial to ask "why" something happened, than "what" happened.  We already know what happened because it happened, and we are asking about it.  And, if we're honest when asking the question of "why" something happened, we will realize the answer ultimately lies with us.  Why did God abandon you?  Well, why did you abandon God?  Why did a child die?  Well, who put the child in a position to die?  Who desired to have a child?  Whose genes were faulty?  As long as we have freedom of thought and conscience, the target of our blame will always be on us and, in order to pick ourselves up and move forward, we need to own it.

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”

-- Anaïs Nin (1903-1977),  essayist, novelist, writer of erotica

Generally, I have found life is not as difficult as many of us make it.  Life simply is, and we should be focused on a way to constantly revel in the glory of it.  The only misery is of our own making, so if you don't like misery, get shed of it.  Our misery and happiness are products of our decisions and the choices we make in life, so make great decisions.  If you make a bad decision, living with the consequences is yet another bad decision.  It is better to correct a bad decision and mitigate the consequences of it before two or three more join in to create an obstacle you cannot get on top of.  This is when life begins to get really mucked up.

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life.”

-- Akshay Dubey

The first reaction to this is usually, "Well, that's easy for you to say."  And, it is, because I've done it.  The only thing difficult in this would be owning the blame and making the effort to correct the fallout in order to fix your life instead of whining about it or constantly shifting the blame and looking stupid to everyone who sees you do it.  Fixing it is usually easier and faster than the months of complaining about something you're at fault for and refuse to own.  Crap happens.  Learn from it, suck it up, and continue to move forward.  Besides, if you have to be transparent, let them see your good ethics.

Life is pretty simple.  Relax.  The first thing we all need to wrap our minds around is... life is!  Life is only hard until you get used to the tempo of it, and then you'll start to tap your foot in time to the music, and then, you'll start to sing.  Don't bitch about how hard it is, find the beat or change the beat, and then embrace it and learn to make the music yours.  But, stop blaming everybody else for your life because... well, it is your life.  Our life, our path, is ours alone.  No one can walk it for us; therefore, it is incumbent upon us to own the path we walk.  We can share aspects of it with those around us, those we love, but we alone must take ownership.

“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”

-- Mexican Proverb

From the smallest seed of love we plant can sprout the faith of ages, we simply have to open our mind to the possibilities.  We simply have to think.  I would rather have someone find faith in anything, right now, and worry about them finding some faith in the supreme power in the universe, or a God, down the road.  Time is a human construct and patience is truly a virtue.  Good things come, sooner or later, to those who have a bit of faith. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

So, as I order my third beer, I notice a well-dressed older woman (older?) glancing at me from across the bar.  She sees me catch her looking and dons a large, gaudy pair of sunglasses.  I reevaluate my opinion of "well-dressed" and smile.  She smiles back and removes them, asking me what I'm writing.  Well, through the next beer, I find myself doing a dry run of this coming Sunday's group, on a beautiful Monday afternoon, with this woman, the bartender, and the guy's wife sitting around the corner of the bar next to me.  Nothing new; this is, after all, what I do along my path.  And, here comes beer number four.  Yep!  It is definitely another beautiful day in paradise!

Got life?

"Life on the practical level does not contain any subtle philosophy or subtle mystical experience. It just is. If we are able to see that isness, so to speak, then there is a sense of realization. We experience sudden enlightenment. Without a sense of hopelessness, there is no way to give birth to sudden enlightenment. Only giving up our projects brings about the ultimate, definite, positive state of being, which is the realization that we are already enlightened beings here and now."

-- Chögyam Trungpa, Buddhist meditation master, scholar, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with a world renowned Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.