A Personal Slice of Hell?

“I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of Genius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity.”

-- William Blake

A little pain, a little pleasure; such is life.  Is life filled with the immorality of pleasure?  And, why should pleasure, immoral or not, be frowned upon in a life which many, including myself, equate to one's personal hell on earth?  And, who is to judge the immorality of one's pleasure if it is lawful, peaceful, and bothers no one?  It would seem the hell which we willingly put ourselves through is nothing but a respite from the hell which our fellow beings daily drag us into, kicking and screaming.  These are the same fellow beings who would dare judge us for our own actions, our pleasures, and our immorality, when their own morality is anything but laudable. 

We are told to prostrate ourselves before God and willingly put ourselves through our living hell as a way of showing worthiness to the Almighty.  There are beliefs which state we are not to derive any enjoyment from this hell, we are simply meant to suffer for the greater glory.  Images of self-flagellation comes to mind, that whipping of one's own flesh as a means of penance for sins, imagined or not.  And yet, if you dare enjoy this release from sin, you will be labeled a masochist.  Religion becomes a no-win in the minds of many faithful.  Well, is it any wonder organized religion and I don't see eye to eye?

In the first half of the 15th century, Saint bernardin de sienne Langeais would have commanded we deprive ourselves of art, music, cosmetics, mirrors, provocative dress, and any other small pleasures in life so that we might be seen as worthy in the eyes of God.  Religious leaders have judged the pleasure for their congregations since the beginning of time, and then violated these requirements when it came to their own pleasures.  Would that religious leaders like Bernardino of Siena fuel their daily requirement for a "Bonfire of the Vanities" by throwing their own bodies onto the pyre of flames, like so much cordwood, and show us how it's done.  We will surely follow their fine example, wouldn't we?

“The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell.”

-- Bertrand Russell

If I have to be tortured for my perceived sins, then let it be by a buxom woman wearing a seductive leather outfit and high heeled boots.  Is this wrong?  Probably, but it will certainly be more fun than beating myself up over any sin and, while she's at it, she can also punish me for the very thought of having her punish me.  The Marquis de Sade would surely find this so very amateurish.

Hell is, after all, but a frame of mind.  What is one person's idea of hell might be another's walk in the park.  One person might find manual labor a torture to be escaped at any cost, where another might find mindless physical labor an escape from the mental struggles and stress of their daily life.  Who is to judge?

We all create our own hell here on earth, just as we create our own heaven.  It is simply a choice, a chosen frame of mind.  As long as our idea of heaven does no harm to others, why should others find reason to judge?  A judgment in this instance would almost seem an admission of jealousy on their part.  Why do we concern ourselves with the lot of others, if others are satisfied with their lot?  We can feed a man for a day or we can teach the man to fish, but teaching the man is totally reliant on his willingness to learn.  Choices we make are always followed by the consequences of those choices.  Better we should be concerned with our own slice of heaven or hell than to insinuate our own probable sense of misguided morality into the, otherwise, happy lives of others.

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock, it is opened.”

-- C.S. Lewis

We are what we choose to be because of why we choose to be it.  What we are is never in question, but why we are explains much about what we are or will become.  We are, in essence, the culmination of consequences created from the choices we make.  The poet Oscar Wilde once wrote, “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”  The flip side of this philosophy is that we are also our own salvation, and can make for ourselves a heaven here on earth.  If what we want is a living hell, perhaps we need to change our decision making paradigm.

Our personal slice of hell isn't other people, and hell isn't the consequences of someone else's poor decisions.  If we're honest in answering why our lives are hell, we will always find that the source of our grief is us; our decisions and our consequences.  If you come up with another scapegoat, you are not being honest.  A scapegoat is just that, someone made to bear the blame for others poor decisions.

“I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am.” 

-- Arthur Rimbaud (1854-1891), poet

That precious moment before we shed this physical shell often haunts the dying with the undeniable truth of their life.  It is this moment when the Book of Life is thrown open and we are confronted with our sins.  When we stand at the gates to eternity, many believe our life will flash before our eyes.  Our accomplishments, if they be honest, stand on their own as single line items, but our sins are wordy paragraphs with which paint the pictures behind our damnation.  English philosopher Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679) wrote that "Hell is a truth seen too late."  Perhaps Hobbes understood this better than we.  At the age of 91, on his deathbed, his last words were said to have been, "A great leap in the dark."  It is my fondest hope to leap into, at the very least, a faint light.

What is hell? Hell is oneself.
Hell is alone, the other figures in it
Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from
And nothing to escape to. One is always alone.

-- T.S. Eliot (1888-1965), poet, essayist, critic, playwright

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with a world renowned Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.