Postmortem Morbidity - A Eulogy of Self

“It would be a fascinating experience to hear in advance what will be said at our eulogies. Would it match what we see in ourselves? Truth be known, few farewell lines at funerals are devoted to one’s academic achievements, professional careers or wealth. Mostly, a eulogy is about what one did for others — as a parent, a volunteer, a teacher, a civic activist, a philanthropist, or one who set good examples. Since we don’t get to see the advanced text of our eulogies, we might think about living each day as if our actions on that day will establish the record on which we’ll be judged.” 

--Jon Huntsman, Sr. (1937-2018), businessman, philanthropist

Some people, like my mother, might find discussions about death to be a tad morbid.  My mom doesn't mind discussing the afterlife, mind you, it's just any lengthy discussion dealing with the corpse, autopsy, funeral, eulogy, etc., are usually "put to rest" in short order.  Her attitude is understandable considering I'm a guy and, therefore, the morbidity level tends to rise in such discussions.  Not that I do it on purpose, it just happens because, well... I'm a guy.

Mr. Huntsman died just the other day, and his quote I've shared above does make one think about what might be said of this great American story in his eulogy.  I know it set my mind to wondering just what might be said in mine.  Have you given any thought to your own?

My dad has outlived all the men who went before in his family.  Most died in their mid-fifties, and he has beat cancer and two strokes to make it as far as 87; I should be so lucky.  But, if I am as lucky, this means I'll live at least 23 more years.  This means I have 23 more years to work on something meaningful to be remembered for, right?  No, I think Mr. Huntsman is right, "we might think about living each day as if our actions on that day will establish the record on which we’ll be judged."  It isn't about what we plan to do; it is about what we do as a matter of course; how we live our lives, and our spontaneous actions, each and every day, toward those around us.  It took me almost 50 years to learn this, and I'm still going to school each and every day.

I've thought often of what I might say about others, friends and family, not much about what others might say about me.  There have been few people I have the right to judge, but don't, not any more.  Forgiveness was like gargling with vinegar, but lifted the weight of anger and hatred off my shoulders.  I wish for these few to find their own forgiveness prior to leaving this plane of existence so they can move forward in the next.

When someone steps up to eulogize me, I can only hope they keep it simple, "He was born and he died. Amen!"  Those that knew me knew me; those that didn't, won't care, and those that do care can read the 686 plus posts on my blog and learn more than they ever wanted to know about me.  I've been told I'm humble, because I walk with my eyes lowered.  Personally, I don't like to trip.  I've been told I walk like a man on a mission, like I know where I'm headed.  Well, I usually know where I'm headed because I'm on a mission.  And, it has been asked of me if I am a sage, a guru, a philosopher or a monk, to which I replied that I'm more of a seeker, a seeker of truth.  I'd like to know where we come from and where we're going, and the only way we'll ever find out is to answer the question, "Why?"

If you live to be a hundred, I want to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."

-- Winnie the Pooh

For those around me when I leave this life, I will remember the final words of the character, Wu Han, in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom:  "I've followed you on many adventures...but into the great unknown mystery, I go first, Indy!"  Well, someone has to, right?  When it comes time, in about twenty years, you can try to remember me saying, "I will see you all on the other side."  How great is that?

What about you, the "why" in your own eulogy?  Why did you live, and why will you live again?

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with an Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as Chaplain Program Liaison, at a regional medical center.