Seeker of Truth?

“If there’s anything that people have commonly misunderstood about [Bob] Dylan it’s that he’s not a dispenser of knowledge, he’s a seeker of truth. To understand Dylan is to truly appreciate the ongoing complexity that is his relationship to God. We shouldn’t simply see this as a period where he suddenly, briefly, ‘went Christian.’ Dylan’s spiritual quest is constant, as is his willingness to scrap his identity and start all over again...”

-- Aaron Carnes, writer 

I never stopped to think about what I am.  Maybe that's because I'm too wrapped up in why I am.  I'm already pretty sure of the what, I mean, its right here, right now.  If I knew the why, however, I'd probably give the what more attention but, why?  Life isn't so much about discovering what or who you are, as much as its about discovering why you are.

An old lieutenant friend of mine, from when we were both in Air Force Intelligence, reads my posts occasionally.  Then, as now, he was very religious.  He was also convinced that filling the back of his truck with game birds and fish was simply his way of following God's plan for mankind:  "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." 

I still can't get the humorous vision I had of my tall, lanky, friend, "hanging ten," on the closed gate of his truck, assuming the "arms outstretched martyr position," just before he swan dives face first into the truck bed full of dominated wildlife.  He would segue from my comments about his blood thirsty Christendom by asking me if I was going to keep sitting on the fence where Christ and God were concerned.  I'd cock an eyebrow at him and just smile.  

When he got out of the service my friend became the minister he was always meant to be.  He moved away to the "northern tier," but still chimes in, now and again, if for no other reason that to lovingly bust my chops.  Yes, he still exercises his dominion cum blood lust over "every creeping thing that creepeth."  He, posed a question about me after my recent blog post, Religion - Control of the Faithful?:

Friend: Guru, Sage, Philosopher or Quasi-monk - which are you?
Me: Seeker of truth, humble Diogenesian, one who bears considerable watching...
Friend: I agree with the "watching" part.

Which am I?  After 40 years, give or take, He's still trying to figure out what I am; well, search me.  We both agree, however, that I do bear considerable watching... still.  The nuns from St. Angela's Catholic School would probably agree, as well.  I mean, how can anyone take me seriously when I occasionally use a picture of me as a toddler, eating a banana in a highchair, as the "Editor's Note" at the bottom of my posts?  Yeah, I used it at the bottom of this one, as well.

Searching for what I am took me through Catholicism, to Protestantism, to agnosticism, to Mahayana Buddhism, to Zen, to Taoism, and back to Christianity with an emphasis on personal spirituality vice an organized "church."  I even gave Scientology a shot for a couple of weeks; it took me that long to see through their bullshit (shame on me for taking so long).  During my 23 years of military service, the "religious preference" data listed on my dog tags updated more than my annual vehicle tabs.

It took the implosion of my marriage and losing everything I owned and held dear, including the custody of my children, for me to lose sight of the truth which I had come to understand - life is not about what.  I forgot that for a while, as I learned how to hate for the first time in my life.

Hate is an emotion I recommend everyone stay away from.  Hate eats you from the inside out.  My "hate decade" was not time well spent, except in shaking it.  When I let go of the hate I rediscovered the why of everything that went before, and it enabled me to set the stage for everything that was to come.  Why?  When one door closes, another opens; when you leave one spot, you must arrive at another; as a glass empties of one thing it is also refilling with another.  There is purpose in everything, and nature abhors a vacuum.    

Like Bob Dylan, what people have commonly misunderstood about me is that I have no intent to appear like a "dispenser of knowledge."  I consider myself only a seeker of truth; seeking to answer the why of things and not the, all too obvious, what of them.  Interesting information found, I try to share, and when I share I look for constructive feedback.  This feedback allows me yet another avenue to, like Dylan, "truly appreciate the ongoing complexity" that is my relationship to God and the universe.  This is my path, and I freely share it with any who have time to listen.

It is my fervent hope that, perhaps, my questions and opinions might be the impetus for others to discover their own path, their own continually changing relationship to God and the universe, while their own opinions give me fuel for my own efforts and ideas for future postings on my blog.  I am humbled by the recent past, when a few folks  informed me that something I said allowed them to move closer to God again, with a new on spirituality view and a realization that, perhaps, salvation might not be as difficult or scary as many have led them to believe.

After occasional discussions with total strangers, they have voiced interest in attending religious service at my church.  I thought that's what we were just doing.  Their comment elicits chuckles from friends who know my answer.  The world is our synagogue.  As Jesus stated, "For where two or three are assembled in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”  And, where you are alone, you are not, for God is with us always.  I have to remind these folks I talk to, these fellow seekers who wish to attend some religious service in order to listen to more of my thoughts, of simple verses in their own scripture which they seem confused about, simple verses which are opened to little, if any, interpretation:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

-- Matthew 6:5-6

Is the church, a place for worship and prayer, or is it a place for fellowship and research, a place to seek the truth?  I offer that it is truly the latter which God prefers.

If you seek the truth, you need go no farther than the nose on your face. Use your eyes and ears, for those who have eyes must see and those who have ears must listen.  The truth is all around us, in our face daily and only hidden from us by our own inability, prejudices, or simple lack of desire, to see the forest for the trees.  You can't just listen to you minister and expect the earth to move, you must do you own due diligence and be your own best advocate.  Didymos Judas Thomas recorded, "Jesus said, 'Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will rule over all.'"  

Many are not even aware of the Gospel of Thomas, or the Gospel of Mary, or many of the other lost books and writings left out of scripture for any number of reasons or hidden agendas.  These writing are no more or less legitimate; no more or less inspired by God, than the two thirds of the New Testament which were written by one "apostle" who was not even alive when Christ walked the earth.  Were you aware of this?

Is it any wonder there are 33,000 sects of just Christianity in the world, and it grows every year?  It is evidence that the written word is very susceptible to interpretation, especially when all available information hasn't been included and there is already contradiction within the available document pages, questionable translations of those pages between languages that don't directly translate into one another, incomplete pages or pieced together original text of which the authorship is also in question.  Whew!  Really?  Well, my interpretation would probably bring the number of sects to 33,001... plus.  

I continue my quest, as Jesus Christ suggested. At this moment I await my copy of an updated current translation of the Old Testament. I will continue to search for answers, and I invite all to join me by embarking on their own quest, their own path, to seek their own answers and truth concerning the why of everything. The "why" of everything is the purview of theoretical physicists and their research into quantum mechanics and string theory. Let's open our minds and see who finds the answer first, shall we?

"These are the secret sayings that the living Jesus spoke and Didymos Judas Thomas recorded. And he said, 'Whoever discovers the interpretation of these sayings will not taste death.'"

-- Gospel of Thomas

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with an Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as Chaplain Program Liaison, at a regional medical center.