Questioning Ethics, Fools, and Hope

 

“The greatest fools are ofttimes more clever than the men who laugh at them.”

-- George R.R. Martin

Is it ethical to try to force people to act in certain ways?

Ethical: “Relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these.”

Is it moral to force people to act in certain ways? That depends. Moral principles, ethical behavior, are the basis for our rule of law so, in a way, society does force people to act in certain ways.

But, people have freedom of choice. They don’t have to be forced to do something ethical or unethical. They can simply say “no” and then live with the consequences.

Law notwithstanding, for one person to force another person to do something is, in my view, less than ethical. Why do they feel they have the right to do this? A critical look might reveal that they don’t. Why? Because it is unethical, immoral, and just wrong.

I'm doing my best for everything, but just one wrong decision that I think is right makes my father tell me, "You are a useless and stupid person." What should I do to make my every decision right?

For one thing, no loving father should ever tell their child they are a “useless and stupid” person. Everyone makes mistakes, and you’ve made one? One mistake brings this wrath down upon you? I wouldn’t worry too much about getting everything right. Failure is the best way we learn. Critique what you did, find where you went wrong, learn from it, and move forward. If you can’t figure it out, ask for help. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for all the trees, and an impartial person might be able to see what we missed. But, again, your biggest issue is someone trying to make you think you’re “useless and stupid” when you’re fine. What you really need is someone to mentor you through the mistake.

Do you believe like Mark Twain said that “It is easier to fool people than convince them they have been fooled”, and why?

After almost 23 years with military intelligence, it can be easier to fool people, than it is to convince them they’ve been fooled, especially if you’re that proficient at fooling them.

At their foundation, most people will be in denial that they were fooled. They don’t want their ego to be bruised. They don’t want to admit that they were weak-minded enough to be fooled. People like to think they are aware when most of them are so not.

People need to take a moment when they hear or see things and give their critical minds a chance to review them. Unless we have absolute trust in someone, we should always question everything, especially magic tricks.

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

-- Soren Kierkegaard

How can I find out what I love doing because it seems to be hard making decisions on how my life should be? How do I find myself?

Try everything. Volunteer time. Help people. work at a variety of jobs.

I joined the military and ended up serving for over 20 years. I saw many poor, third and fourth-world, countries. It was an eye-opener. When you live life to the fullest, sooner or later you will stumble across something that really appeals to you and, in doing so, it will help you define who you are. So, when I retired, I went to work for a company that acted as an advocate for human subjects in medical research. Many of these poor countries were interested in protecting their own vulnerable populations. I did this for 17 more years.

My point being, you have already begun this journey by asking the right questions. Now, go out and live life until you answer them.

What makes you keep moving even if you're almost losing hope?

You can “lose” hope, but hope is never really gone, you’ve simply lost it. You keep moving because hope is always with you, even if you can’t remember where you put it. Hope is a choice. Hope is something no one can ever take from you. Hope is faith, faith in something for which there is little or no proof. People have died for their hope, died for the faith, died to show that this “free will” can never be taken from them. You keep moving because the other option is to quit, and quitting is not a good option. You give up your free will and admit defeat. The evil among us loves this option. Easy prey.

Is it okay to not care about anything for a while in your life? Or will this way of thinking mess up my future?

Not caring, for a while, is a way of filling the empty bucket of emotion. We can only care so much before we, ourselves, need to be cared for. Better to take a vacation from caring, if only to give yourself a chance to think. It is easier to think clearly while relaxed than to try and think clearly in a fog of emotion.

“Research shows that we need to take a break and decompress so we can be at our best at work—and at home. Maybe we should ask if the life we’re working so hard to create is fun to live?

When’s the last time you disconnected and took a vacation?”

-- Tina Hallis

How do you stop an argument that you realize you're the one that’s wrong, but is too invested in to stop?

Oh, but I immediately see my error and admit to it. If you seriously want people to respect you, admit to and own your mistakes. This is a sign of good moral ethics and will help define who you are to others. You’ll also learn to keep your pie hole shut unless you’re sure of your opinion.

Do you have small work goals every day before you start your day?

Being retired means you have more “grunt” work to do around the house. Some are small, some are large, but all are necessary. It is my own “to do” list.

In your assessment, do you think you are aging gracefully or is there some work to be done?

Other than the “baby” hanging off the front of me, I think I’m aging pretty well. I’m almost 68, but I feel like I’m 50. I’ve started a new regimen to reduce the extra weight hanging off of me.

"I know the downside of age and the downside of time, and I am sure that the view from age 51 is not the view from age 71.

I wish the time hadn’t gone so fast, though. And sometimes I wish I’d enjoyed it more on the way, and worried about it less."

-- Neil Gaiman

Does chess make you mad?

Getting mad over a game would be immature and just silly. There are so many more important things to get mad over, should I choose to do so. No, chess is simply beyond me. I play it, but even a child gives me challenges. Those that can do. Those that can’t, teach.

Have you ever held a grudge without it affecting you negatively?

The only grudge I can remember ever holding was against my ex-wife for what she did to me. She was the only person I ever hated. I learned to let the hate go because it was having a negative effect on my happiness. For myself I had to forgive her, then I forgave myself, then I accepted the apology I knew she was never going to give me. That was 16 years ago, five years after the divorce, and I have been happy ever since.

Do you think it is a hindrance to a successful life if we don’t examine or know ourselves?

If you think you’re successful, yet have no happiness, what is the point? A “successful” life is a truly “happy” life. To be truly happy you really have to know yourself. If you don’t know yourself, how do you know your happiness is truly the real thing? Your “success” is then predicated on simply completing a goal, not necessarily being happy that you’ve done it. Better to be happy through the entire process, even in failure, since failure is the best way for us to learn. Strive to be happy always! This is true success and the best way of getting to know who and why you are.

Reader comment:  One would think that if one was to become successful it was because of a pursuit to, and one would therefore be satisfied/happy as a result. I enjoyed the whole ride on my way to success, I believe it was the main reason for.

My reply:  And, if you weren’t happy in the pursuit?

Reader response:  A sad life experience, leaving one to ask, “Why did I bother?”

My reply:  Again, if you aren’t truly happy with your success, how successful is it really?

“Be so free that nothing more than your future can distract your attention.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

What makes a good woman leave? Why?

Dissatisfaction in the relationship. Why? Because she’s dissatisfied with something in the relationship.  It's the same reason a good man leaves.

Can a burden ever be a good thing?

That would depend on your definition. Are we discussing “the main theme or gist of a speech, book, or argument”? Or, are we discussing a strongbox full of gold?

Why does it hurt more to know you have to let go of someone you love because you will never be loved by them? Shouldn’t "letting go" heal you, not break you harder?

I’ve never understood the emotions some people feel from “unrequited” love. I’ve loved and lost many times, but there was always a relationship. It was simply not meant to be. But, “losing” someone who doesn’t love you is, well, you never really had them to lose, did you? So where is the feeling of loss, since you never had them to lose? The emotion doesn’t make any sense when you consider you’re letting go of someone you never had.

"A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain."

-- Carson McCullers

And... the short answers:

What was Mazarin's greatest success?

The “Peace of Westphalia.”

How is it possible to make better decisions without all the facts?

Luck.

What made you Happy instantly?

Finding out I was going to be a father.

Can someone be “beyond your wildest dreams”? Or is it just used for objects or situations?

Oh, hell no! And, she will always be.

Why does it appear that in the United States, the essential workers are the lowest paid?

Appear?

What should I know before turning 20 years old?

Stay out of debt and strive to be happy always.

How do I make myself feel better about being in the lower sets for classes?

Those that can, do. Those that can’t, try harder.

Why is it that Americans have a tendency to become overly obsessed with their chosen hobby and start looking down on anyone that wants to engage in the same hobby but is not as obsessed and devoted as they are? What is this attitude called?

Poor.

Why do people act like they don’t know who Pete Dunne is?

Who is Pete Dunne?

Have you ever forced someone to wear diapers?

My children or they’d crap all over the place.

Are all pains ethically bad?

What does “pain” have to do with ethics?

Are you content with your life right now?

Yes!

“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”

-- Leo Tolstoy

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Winners, Achievement, and Success

“Don’t let others tell you what you can’t do. Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

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Note to my readers:  I just recieved a notice that 7,300 people have read my answers this week.  Woohoo?  If I had an ego I'd be dancing!  I am humbled that people take the time to read, especially my opinions.

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Why aren't most people rational?

Why is “common” sense not all that common? I think we’ve fallen prey to laziness. It is much easier to not exercise rational thought, just as it is easier to not use good sense. Most people used good sense, back in the day, or people looked down upon them. So few people use good sense today, we’ve grown accustomed to being around idiots. It’s becoming almost impossible to find friends that aren’t a bit short in the “good sense” department. I think the same thing holds true for rational thought. “Huh, I can’t believe I did that,” is becoming a common response for many who failed to make the rational decision, the good sense, to not try or do something.

Which generation is the most self-centered and least likely to lead to success in the country?

Almost two weeks and nobody has answered this? Probably for the same reason I won’t, the fear of bringing down the wrath of the League of the Perpetually Offended. You can either suffer people with a modicum of intelligence, or you can suffer the lack of cogent thought, name-calling, and foul language visited upon you by the League. Let’s move on, shall we?

How do I know exactly what I'm doing wrong? What's holding back my prosperity?

Ask yourself what in your life you aren’t satisfied with. Are you in too much debt to get ahead of it and be prosperous? Make a list, of things like debt, and then go about changing them so you’re happier with your life.

If you’re not prosperous, it may center on the job you have. I would ask your supervisor or manager what they feel is holding you back, then go about changing it, or changing jobs. If the job says education is holding you back, ask what they think you can do to remedy this. Putting your questions to those you work for shows them your interest in taking on more than you have, of being more than you are. They may not have a clue that you have aspirations. Ask for more responsibility. This is usually a good thing.

“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.”

-- Anthon St. Maarten

Are you stuck on a goal or problem and not seeing options or choices?

Yep. If it’s that difficult, I keep trying to find another way. I’ve spent almost 3 hours, so far, on the “expert” mahjong puzzle “sphere,” and keep trying other ways to win. I may have found the one puzzle I can’t complete, after a year and a half of playing the “expert” level, but, I refuse to quit. There is always a way.

How do I live my life not minding what people think?

Know yourself, and be comfortable with who and what you are. A General I was waiting to brief, came out of his office to admonish a Captain for thinking he was going to chew out a janitor that was the only person who knew how to get the General’s furnace working. The General informed him that the janitor would be shown all the respect needed to get that furnace up and running. The fact he was a janitor was immaterial to the General. The fact he was the knowledge base for the furnace was everything.  Needless to say, the General impressed me.

Live your life comfortable with who and what you are. You have a job for a reason, so be the best at doing it. Have a “code of ethics” and stand by it, regardless of what people say. Be proud of what you do and who you are, and others around you will recognize you for it. If they don’t, then it is on them, not you, for not giving you the credit you deserve.

Have you ever lived because you are always "almost" for so many things in life?

Absolutely! I’ve always had too many “pokers in the fire.” The closest I ever came to focusing on one aspect and being the best at one thing in life, was military intelligence., and even there I found myself multi-tasking.

Do I regret not being everything? Not really. I have had a full and eventful life that I wouldn’t trade for most other people’s money or sedate existence.

“I can almost understand why people leap from bridges.”

-- Charles Bukowski

What will the future of achievement look like (for example in 2050) when the bar is raised for what constitutes achievement?

Hopefully, bars will remain what they are today, but with less expensive liquor. As far as sports achievement, however, if transgender continues to compete against biologic women, the women will cease to complete and it will become transgender competition. When this happens, the ego boost the transgender hoped to get from winning against women will disappear as they will be forced to compete against other biologically male transgenders.

In your opinion, what is your ethical stand regarding the “the end justifies the means” policy?

The policy is sound, in writing. But, given that so many have no morally ethical code, it is more often used as a way to excuse the use of the wrong means in a given situation. Ethically, the “means” have to be morally reasonable to a given situation.

For instance, no innocence should ever have to die. But, the situation, unfortunately, might require a percentage of innocent casualties in order to secure the end. Okay, but those casualties sure as hell better not be children. Now the situation, hard to begin with, has changed to an even harder look at what means are really necessary. But, here’s the rub…

If you’re taking a harder look at how to remedy the situation without the loss of children’s lives, shouldn't that hard look be used for adults? We tend to subconsciously accept certain losses as “unavoidable” due to age, gender, or position, and, if this is true, perhaps we shouldn’t. The end might be better if we use better thought out, and ethically reasonable means which reflect our morality.

Does rationality destroy emotion?

No. I can be purely rational and still be emotional about the choice. I think, the moment you don’t feel some emotion, your rationality suffers. The rational answer may be the right one, but you don’t have to feel good about it. Nuclear deterrence is rational given the state of the world we live in. Does being rational make it right? Absolutely not. It is an unacceptable means to reach an acceptable end. Emotion keeps us human.

“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.”

-- Euripides

Are workaholics disassociating from reality?

They aren’t disassociating from their reality. I was a workaholic because I loved the job, and the work was important to the security of the country. This was my reality, and home was another reality.

If you were really lucky in the lotto, and it made you insanely happy, would you be able to handle it?

I’m always happy, so winning the lottery would be just another day, only luckier. I don’t need that much material crap to be truly happy. I’d probably bank it in a high-interest investment portfolio. Then, I might treat myself to a world cruise for a while, on a “no rug rat” cruise ship, while I write my next novel. I’ve always wanted to do that.

How can I find winners to hang out with them?

If you’re a winner, why are you asking this question? 

Author comment:  Why not?

My reply:  Most of the “winners” I’ve know tend to really “hang out” with other winners, and, if you are a winner, you should already know the answer to your question.

Author's reply:  So it could be my friends are winners I just did not realize or it could be I am not a winner at all. How do winners expand their circle?

My response:  I’m sorry. I had to smile. I have no idea, not being one to hang out with “winners.” I would assume they become friends with other winners but, again, I would think you should know where they hang out, having winners as friends.

Author's response: They are working, mostly, or do sports, at least the ones I know myself. So, no idea.

My reply:  How about stepping up your game and hanging out with regular people?

Author's reply:  What do you mean by stepping up?

My response:  Having a bit of fun with you. We “common folk” would probably enjoy your company, and we take a bit less work.

Author's response:  Oh. 

(Note to my readers:  This was supposed to be in the "short answers" section, but... Jeeze!)

“Dignity will only happen when you realize that having someone in your life doesn’t validate your worth.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

And... the short answers: 

What quote or phrase would you want printed onto a t-shirt?

“History - It is what it is!”

Why don't people know that they are ignorant?

Uh… because they’re ignorant?

What is your greatest hope for humankind, and how do you think we can get there?

Understanding and tolerance. Kill those who don’t comply. Good luck!

Are visuals more valued than thinking?

Not if you don’t think about the visuals.  Wait... what?

Do you think you would be able to live in a society that is different from what we have now?

Only if we remove “perpetually offended” people.

What are the main ingredients of success?

Knowledge, hard work, and perseverance.

Is it possible to have a perfect pitch without being a good singer?

If you can’t remember the words, what good is “perfect” pitch?

Why don't political parties avoid using the blame game to achieve their political agendas and goals?

They’d have to work. What fun would that be?

Did Cuomo’s 'unfair and unjust' cry invoke your sympathy for him?

Ha! That would be the “cold day in hell.” 

Do universities play a significant role in our lives?

They either teach or indoctrinate, so, yes.

“There are times when wisdom cannot be found in the chambers of parliament or the halls of academia but at the unpretentious setting of the kitchen table.”

-- E.A. Bucchianeri

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Many Questions Concerning Control

“The ordinary public is a puppet of worthless news and media.”

-- Santosh Kalwar

Why are "scare tactics" used when someone wants to win an argument? How effective is this manner of argument?

They’re used because they want to win the argument. This is only effective if the opponent is weak-minded and scares easily. In most cases, I’ve seen, however, “scare tactics” say more about the weak argument of the person using the tactic than their opponent. “Scare tactics” are the tools of bullies without a cogent means to win.

Why do you sometimes think you are like a castaway in modern society or not?

Technology and I have never gotten along. I’ve always considered myself very smart but not so intelligent. Born too late. Books are more my forte. I excelled in the Intelligence field because I had a logical mind. I could read regulations and see the weaknesses and come up with solutions. I could look at the map of a situation and see the problems and work out better tactics. I could listen to other Intelligence agencies and tell you if they’re wrong or not.

But, technology escapes me. I am pulled into it kicking and screaming. Computers had me buffaloed. DOS was an annoyance I dealt with because I had the “cheat strip” to refer to. I was more comfortable when the “mouse” arrived on the scene and I could simply “point and click.”

I know a nuclear weapon leaves a ten-mile crater, but I have little idea how it truly works, nor do I care. It’s enough to know that it’s a deterrent to the end of life. People laugh because I still have a “flip” phone. I can scan you for cancer and beam up to the starship with it, but don’t ask me to text or look at pics of the kids.

A castaway? If being more comfortable living in a different time makes me so, then I am.

How do you dispel the power hold some people have within your thoughts?

Everything in life is about “choice.” If someone holds power “within your thoughts” it is because you choose to allow it in lieu of fighting against it. To dispel this power you must, first, make the conscious choice to do so, and then you must do so.

“Because to take away a man's freedom of choice, even his freedom to make the wrong choice, is to manipulate him as though he were a puppet and not a person.”

-- Madeline L'Engle

Do you believe politicians do incredibly stupid things or are so intelligent that their motives are beyond the "common" voter?

Oh, my, God! The fact that they are “mostly” intelligent is evident by how well they pull the wool over the eyes of their constituents. The fact that the rest of us can see through their bullshit is evidence that they may be intelligent, but they really aren’t all that smart. Their motives aren’t beyond the common voter, because most of us can see right through their motives to the truth. You can find out who these morons are by seeing who is totally absent in the news when things go south with whichever administration is in office. We have a lot of crap going down in America right now… heard any support from the Democratic Congress for their President? Elections are coming up, so watch how the distance expands or contracts between them. This is true for any administration. Let the “back-peddling” begin!

Why do we need to make a plan?

Panning, generally, guarantees success. Not making a plan is simply assuming all will go right. Planning mitigates problems that might occur.

What is the most effective form of media (books, television, radio, etc.) to get reputable information?

Don’t rely on one source for information, or you sell yourself short. Watch multiple news outlets. Ask yourself why none of them, save one, cover an important story. Ask why someone accused of so much wrongdoing is still touted as “god walking on water” in certain media. Find the media that covers facts, and presents less “editorial” opinion, and pay attention to this more than the others. Before you jump to a decision, do your own due diligence, or you might get representatives in government who fuel the flames of an international crisis… just as an example.

“Just because something isn't a lie does not mean that it isn't deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.”

-- Criss Jami

What is the greatest advice you have ever gotten?

Stay out of debt. The second greatest was to stay away from drama. Now, in retirement, I have money, no debts, and I’m happy always. Life can’t be any better than that.

How do your friends influence your shopping decisions?

My friends have differing tastes. One might cook great meat, another might love gardening and plants, etc. If the cook says there is a great deal on meat at a particular store, I will likely go there to take advantage of it. If the gardener says there is a great deal on plants, I will do the same. We can’t be in all places at all times, so we rely on our friends and acquaintances to provide us the information we use to make our lives easier.

When the facts change, do you change your mind or steadfastly refuse to budge?

Change is the only universal constant. If facts change, then the facts are most likely wrong in some respect. To not consider changing your opinion as better and more valid facts emerge is simply ignorant. We must always keep an open mind to new information or we will find ourselves being left behind.

“I feel I change my mind all the time. And I sort of feel that's your responsibility as a person, as a human being – to constantly be updating your positions on as many things as possible. And if you don't contradict yourself on a regular basis, then you're not thinking.”

-- Malcolm Gladwell

How can you convince yourself to make good decisions?

Convince yourself? How do you “convince” yourself not to steal, murder, or rape? Those are bad decisions. Yet, most people find a reason not to participate in them. Why? Because they are morally wrong. We make the best decisions, the best choices we can because, when faced with the good and the bad, the good is usually better for us in the long run. If you think the bad decision is the right one, you need to keep in mind that there is no free lunch. We ultimately pay the price for making bad or wrong decisions and choices.

Has anyone ever wronged you in a terrible way, yet, because of their wrong, you were enlightened to do something positive to make a right?

My divorce. I own some of the bad blood in the marriage, but I never intentionally “wronged” her. There were times, however, I think she made it her mission in life to continuously wrong me in a terrible way. When it was all over, said, and done, I came to accept the reality of it. This embrace was the impetus for enlightenment that allowed me to prosper, move forward, and find happiness in life I hadn’t known for 25 years.

Why is it that the better life quality and more opportunities a country has, the more its people say they're oppressed and can't make something out of themselves because they're being out down?

It’s an excuse not to better their lot in life. They are members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. It is so much easier to blame anyone but themselves, even though people in the same situation are rising above it to become something. It is an excuse that holds no validity.

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”

-- Carl Sagan

And... the short answers:

If you had to change your first and last name so that it sounded like you were from a different culture, what culture would you choose?

Boom-Boom Mzuzu, of the Tumbuka people in Malawi. 

Why won’t anyone go out with me?

Not knowing you, this would be near impossible to answer.

If you think you know more, do you prove it?

No, that requires ego, and I am nothing if not humble.

What inspires you to write beautiful poems?

Beautiful women.

Why do people get angry when you tell them the truth?

Inability to cope with reality.

Would you like any doctors on [this site] to give you your free medical advice? Why or why not?

Prove they’re a doctor.

What is the opposite attitude?

Of what?

How do I stop doom-scrolling?

Stop entering “doom” into the search engine?

How can I improve at asking for what I want?

Say, “please.”

What belief system has a track record of making people successful monetarily?

Knowledge is everything.

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”

-- L. Frank Baum

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questions of Success, Failure, and Attitude

 

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

 

What is your favorite personal speech of inspiration?

“Address at Rice University on the Nation's Space Effort, is a speech delivered by United States President John F. Kennedy about the effort to reach the Moon to a large crowd gathered at Rice Stadium in Houston, Texas, on September 12, 1962.” — Wikipedia, “We choose to go to the Moon”

In the end, it's all about a good attitude, is this a true statement? Ever met an intelligent, beautiful, strong, educated, rich good looking, etc with a bad attitude?

Yep, I sure have.  They have everything life has to offer except real happiness. They relied on everything they were to bring them happiness, but they never made the conscious choice to just be happy always. I’ve also known people with none of this who had a great attitude. Real happiness isn’t what you have, it is a choice we all must make for our life, regardless of our circumstances.

How do people figure out what to do with their life?

Live life. Living life helps you figure this out. What you do with life will probably change the more you live it. You can’t live it if you sit at home and vegetate. You have to get off your ass and live, work, be creative, help others, join the military, see the world, do things. The more you live, the more you’ll figure out. Begin now.

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”

-- Dalai Lama

How can we change and make ourselves better?

Always. Change, other than being the only constant in the universe, is just a simple choice. You choose to change. You choose to be better.

Why do politicians so frequently have sticky fingers?

Lately, they’ve been sitting around with their thumb up their ass, maybe they’re adding fingers to the mix. My girlfriend says this is offensive, and it is. Personally, I wish they do what they’re paid for.

What is the impact of peers, including early play, friendships, and the negative side of peer interactions (e.g., rejection and bullying) on development?

I grew up being bullied due to my size. I let it hold me back until I’d had enough and nearly beat a bully senseless. At that point, I started standing up for those who couldn’t stand for themselves. The bullying made me the ethical man I am today. I ended up in military intelligence and never looked back.

“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

What do you hope the school will do for your child?

Teach reading, writing, history, and arithmetic. Teach facts, not indoctrination BS. Teach how to ask questions and research the answers. Teach the art of communication. Teach equality and not Critical Race Theory. Teach the Constitution. Teach patriotism, not socialism. Teach the real reasons why America is the greatest country in the world… before our leaders screwed up in Afghanistan, that is.

Why am I almost more afraid of success than failure?

Because failure will get you to success. It is, after all, the best way we learn. So, don’t fear failure. If you understand failure, you’ll understand how easy success can be when you utilize failure properly. And, if success is easy due to failure, why fear success?

Why do I feel like my life is boring and repeating?

Maybe it is. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, do new things, meet new people, try new food, join a club or a society. Volunteer. You know, stuff that isn’t boring and stuff you aren’t doing over and over again, right now.

“I believe my life has a value, and I don't want to waste it thinking about clothing.  I don't want to think about what I will wear in the morning. Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion?”

-- Michael Crichton

How do you react when you run into a person who has hurt your feelings or harmed you? Do you act like you didn't see them or confront them head-on?

I greet them cordially. I’ve found that just treating them better than they expect seems to just piss them off. Or, maybe it’s the way I go about it.

“Good morning, Sam.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

“Oh, no. I’ve learned to sweep immaturity under the rug quickly so I don’t have to deal with it.”

Why were you so successful in life?

I loved everything I did, so I was constantly happy. Being happy in everything I did, made me want to do it very well. Spending two careers happily doing things very well has made me feel successful in life.  Even the 25-year marriage that went south was simply a long "learning experience" that has made me happier, yet.

Why do some people think they know me extremely well when they’ve only been around me a few small times?

If they really do, they have great intuition. If they really don’t, they’re just full of shit. I would worry about those that really don’t. The ones that do, however…

“The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future. You don't know me at all.”

-- David Klass

 

And... the short answers:

What do you have on your bucket list before you move on to the next life?

Happiness! Constant happiness!

What did your Sunday say to you?

Howdy!

What is the simplest thing I can do to help someone?

Care. Listen. Give them a hug, or a kind word. Be a friend.

If you dream a lot about your life goals, does that make the goals easier to achieve?

If your dreams are creative, yes. If they stress you out, probably not.

Do you believe in "If you can sell, you will never starve"?

Only if you can sell enough to never starve.

What are the biggest regrets people have later in life?

Smoking, and no children, retirement, exercise, diet, or happiness.

What can I do today to be happy tomorrow?

Make the conscious choice to strive to be happy always.

What does everyone really want in life?

Really want? Whether they know it, or not, true happiness.

Why don’t most people get what they want in life?

You can’t get “it” if you don’t know what “it” is?

We've been trying, but when are we going to do things better?

When we learn to get along.

“While many things have changed, some things haven’t changed enough.”

-- Gina Barreca

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

More Questions of Choice

“In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn't matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.”

-- Cassandra Clare

Moving for the first time, how do you decide what to keep? Things like a typewriter, sewing machine, piano, puzzles, etc, doubt I'll use them but don't know if I should get rid of them. Don't want clutter, but don't want to get rid of what I may need.

Moving is about downsizing. If a moving company is involved, you pay for everything you think you need, so you better really need it. Puzzles, no. Typewriter? No. Piano? Do you play it or is it for show? If you don’t play, then sell it. Pots and pans? How many do you really need? Clothes? If you haven’t worn it in a year, it goes.  I hate getting into my new digs and then finding out I kept too much.

This is a time when your personal rubber really hits the road. How much “crap” do you really want to haul around, not use, then haul around again? You might also consider the donation writeoff for taxes, and what you really need to buy new after the move.

Having been in the military really teaches you about hauling crap and purchasing quality. Minimalist quality beats the hell out of hoarding loads of crap.

Why am I hesitant to use social media?

We should all be. It can be a wasteland, usually, or a useful tool. Choose wisely. 

How are you going to be a good communicator? Can you please give an example?

I had to give Intelligence briefings, to aircrews and commanders, while in the military. I had to learn public speaking and briefing techniques, and then I had to teach them to new personnel. I had to be one hell of a communicator, or people might die.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Why do some refuse to make decisions about tough aspects of their life? What is it which makes ignoring it in the hope it will go away (or pretending issues don't exist or aren't somehow real) a better option than dealing with the problem and moving on?

It is an option, but not a “better” option. Ignoring it is no guarantee it will “go away.” The better option is dealing with problems head-on before moving on down your path. Dealing with these things builds our character and teaches us how to make good choices and decisions in life.

How grateful are you that you can live in relative safety and freedom?

Very grateful, and I will die to protect it from all enemies, foreign and domestic.

Why should we possess the core values of the university, excellence, integrity, social responsibility, collaboration, respect?

It depends if the “core values” are also the good moral core values of the country you love. The “core values” of Hitler's Germany reflected all you’ve listed, but the values were not all-inclusive of the population as “social responsibility” meant certain segments of society were destined for slave labor and, eventually, the ovens. Hate is not a moral “core value.” 17 million people were victims of Nazi “core values.”

“True leaders don't look at just the outward appearances in the selection of team members, they look at one's core values and heart.”

-- Farshad Asl

What are the negative effects of wishful thinking?

If “wishful thinking” makes you stop working toward a goal and, instead, makes you hope the goal simply comes to you.

How do you overcome the barriers to equality and inclusion?

Be the light. Practicing equality and inclusion is a practical solution and takes very little effort. Those who want, will. Those who don’t, won’t. Your “circle” will be sans barriers and will slowly expand as it is all-inclusive. Groups with names that are not all-inclusive have no right to claim they are. Better to have a name that includes the welfare of all people than just one group.

Why would someone run their mouth and give a nasty attitude over the phone but get timid in person?

If there’s a fence between you and a bully, why not get your shots in now, before he beats the crap out of you? When someone “isn’t in your face” a false sense of bravery can control your mouth. Being “timid” in person might make them think it will stave off the ass-whipping. Not. Better to just be reasonable at all times and be the example for others to follow.

“Pride is nothing more than false courage without long-term solutions.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

How can anyone be a good person when we all have varying definitions of what is moral?

Just like a good person truly being good, morality is also not open to varying definitions. You either are moral or you aren’t. You have the right to choose, but that doesn’t mean your choice is morally right.

How do I live happy no matter what?

Make the conscious choice to do so, and then live up to your choice. Strive to be happy always. Life is what it is until it isn’t, so why not be happy in the meantime? If you have a choice between happiness and misery, choose happiness. You will rarely be disappointed.

Why does your past chase you wherever you go?

Because we let it. When do you finally take a stand and make people understand the past is behind you and what is at hand is of more concern. If you’ve learned from past mistakes, paid your dues, it is time for everyone to move on. Strive to be happy always, regardless of the past.

“Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses, and start making changes.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

And... the short answers: 

 

What hobby will you never understand the appeal of?

Free solo climbing. 

 Is being childish immature?

It kind of answers itself.

What are the things that inspire you?

Art, beauty, a child's innocence, and ethical conduct.

Did the U.S. achieve its real goals in Afghanistan?

Is Afghanistan safe in the hands of terrorist criminals?

What is the most successful type of personality in humans?

What is success without happiness?

Is it a good thing one of my decisions in life is to pick the side of the people as a whole against the world's governments?

When you finally win, who will govern the world?

Which is better, work hard or work happy?

Work hard, and be happy doing it.

Reader comment:  I am a former champion sportsman Tony, I was involved in my sport for 39 years, I practiced/worked on average 30 hours per week, and believe me if you will I never found it hard, instead I thoroughly enjoyed it, loved it. To me hard work is a chore, best to be avoided at all costs if able to.

My reply:  That’s the point. If you enjoy what you do, if you’re happy in it, then how hard it is, is of no consequence. Hard work is not a chore, it becomes a pleasure.

“Every job from the heart is, ultimately, of equal value. The nurse injects the syringe; the writer slides the pen; the farmer plows the dirt; the comedian draws the laughter. Monetary income is the perfect deceiver of a man's true worth.”

-- Criss Jami

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com