Questioning Right, Priority, and Want

“The best thing about the bedroom was the bed. I liked to stay in bed for hours, even during the day with covers pulled up to my chin. It was good in there, nothing ever occurred in there, no people, nothing.”

-- Charles Bukowski

What are the most important moves you can make in your 20s to set you up for later life?

Do not incur any debt! Buy what you want with cash. If you need a vehicle, but a used one. Take the money you would have spent on debt and invest it in interest-bearing stocks. Keep shopping for better-paying jobs that you enjoy. Work hard and strive to be happy always.

What are the "real" self and "ideal" self?

The “real” self is who you really are. The “ideal” self is who you imagine yourself to be. I always wanted to be James Bond, 007. I learned to be very comfortable with who I really was during my career in military intelligence. Some folks are meant for danger, and some of us are meant to be lovers… on several levels. I wasn’t meant for danger.

I want to meet a lovely lady for sex. What should I do?

Depending on what you’re after, scrape together about $200.

“Bruised knees cramp my style. They scream cheap whore, when I am an expensive one.”

-- Asa Akira

Is Joe Biden a Boomer?

Born in 1942. He donated sad genetic material to “boomers.”

In the work or business world, what do you think of the following thought: "Your job is not to fix the leader, it's to add value. If the leader doesn't change, then change your attitude or the place where you work"?

For me, this question has issues. Your job is not to fix the leader, but the leader is expected to change. Why? It isn’t your job, nor your concern. Adding value, however, is probably about “supporting” the leader. If you can no longer support the leader, then I agree, you either have to change your attitude or the place you work.

I don't really want to go to a university, but if I don't, my parents will disown me. What do I do?

Life is all about choices. Do you choose to be your own person, or do you choose to let your parents make all of your life decisions for you? Have they chosen the person you will marry, yet? Think about it.

If you make the wrong choice, you can always go crawling back, hat in hand, to see if the university is still an option. Most parents would love the opportunity to gloat just before they lay down new conditions.

If you choose to go down your own path, make sure you’re committed to a life of making your own choices and decisions. Remember, your parents have disowned you, at least until their grandchild is born. I’m not one to use a grandchild as a bargaining chip, but…

The primary purpose of going to college isn't to get a great job. The primary purpose of college is to build a strong mind, which leads to greater self-awareness, capability, fulfillment, and service opportunities, which, incidentally, should lead to a better job.

-- Sean Covey

Does telling people things that are going on with you, to people who can't help you, solve anything or should you keep personal stuff to yourself for political reasons?

If they can’t help you, why bring all that drama into their lives? It isn’t about political reasons, it's about doing what’s right. They just don’t need you to bleed all over them, unless they’ve given you permission. God help them if they surrounded themselves with people who love to share their personal drama. All they’d ever hear is other people’s drama. Oh, how entertaining. Unless you’ve signed on as a person others can dump on, this gets very old, very fast. 

How can you explain this quote, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."?

If you don’t like something, try looking at it from a different perspective. I didn’t like the taste of lamb, but I went to Turkey and loved the taste of goat. It wasn’t the lamb I didn’t like, it turned out to be the way it was prepared. I prepared lamb as the Turks prepared goat and learned to love it. I had to, not only change it through a different recipe, but I had to change the way I thought about it, not to focus on the lamb, but on the other flavors which complimented it.

How should I deal with stress about the future when I just want to pull the plug?

Why in God’s good name are you stressing over something that hasn’t even happened and, considering the odds, may not? If you want to stress, try stressing about now, this moment. This is the only moment you are absolutely sure you have. Better yet, try choosing to be happy always, especially in this current moment. Yesterday is gone, learn from it. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, but, if there is to be a tomorrow, make good choices today so tomorrow will be better. In this way, you don’t really need to stress.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”

-- Amit Ray

At what age do you think someone should stop raving/good time to retire from it?

21. Never too early to grow up.

Is it your birthright to know who your real parents are?

Yes. And if you can find them, it is your right to contact them. But, they made a choice, probably a hard choice. You can try to contact them, but it is not your birthright to make their life hell. After all, you could have been aborted. They made a choice. Help make their choice the right one.

Can I let people, that both have a negative opinion about me and don't care about themselves, down?

I’m going to answer this as, “Can I let people down who have a negative opinion about me, and don’t care about themselves?”  It sounds better.

Yes! Absolutely! They don’t care about you or themselves, so what’s the issue? They’re miserable people who could give a shit less about you or themselves. But, is letting them down going to be letting yourself down, as well? This isn’t really about them, they could give a shit. But, you? Is this letting yourself down just to make a point?

Never let anyone make you do something that hurts you just because you need to get back at them. Better yourself, despite what they think, and let karma do the rest. Rise above it all.

“Don't destroy yourself by allowing negative people add gibberish and debris to your character, reputation, and aspirations. Keep all dreams alive but discreet, so that those with unhealthy tongues won't have any other option than to infest themselves with their own diseases.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

If someone lies to another but doesn't get the response that they want is it the other person's fault for giving the wrong response or the Liars fault for not be forthcoming and telling them the truth?

The fault is with the one having expectations. The liar. The receiver is innocent. The only thing that could be guilty of is calling the liar down for what they are.

Can I be more encouraging than I am right this moment?

Yes! See how easy that was?

How can life be beautiful, if there is suffering?

There must be balance, or how would you know beauty? I watch the news in Afghanistan, and then I go to my “happy place” and remember all the beauty in the world. If you can’t accept that there must be balance, you will always be looking for perfection, which doesn’t exist. The most we can hope for is the best we can be, which is sadly absent for most.

“Time is not the great teacher. Experience is. A man may live a whole life, but if he never leaves his home to experience that life, he dies knowing nothing. A mere child who has suffered and lived can be the wiser of the two.”

-- Lynsay Sands

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com