Beyond the Scope of Normal

“It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight.”

-- Patricia Briggs, fantasy author

Fantasy author Patricia Briggs wrote, "It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight."  I wish I could believe that, but most of the paranormal I've encountered have been in daylight and I've had one hell of a big problem dismissing them.  Whether it's a cold spot or a heavy feeling at the top of some stairs in old Victorian houses, or a shadow figure I spied while lying on top of the bed reading a book.  Then there was the spirit of the previous homeowner who would take his afternoon constitutional around the house.  I hadn't heard him until my dad laid a concrete patio, at which point the tap, tap, tap of his cane on the new concrete would announce his coming.

I enjoy the paranormal.  I suppose my mind is opened to accepting what others might experience and then dismiss.  I am fascinated by it.  I love to visit old cemeteries, as well.  A woman informed me of an older, small cemetery on the outskirts of town she thought I would enjoy visiting.

 I took a photo in the cemetery that looked normal enough until I enlarged the background.  Even at the great distance, when I enlarged the photo the headstones were relatively defined as solid stone, yet there were two pillars of fog that I couldn't account for.  Enlarging them further I was amazed to see a woman's face in the left column.  I sent the photo to the woman who had told me about the cemetery and she was tickled to see I had captured a man and a woman.  What?  She informed me of the man's face in the right column.  Even then she had to point out the bright patch as his forehead, and the brow ridges, nose, and wide mouth to follow.  How I missed all that yet saw the woman's face is all about my mental focus, I suppose.

I am critical of anything I can't understand.  I try to debunk most things that don't make much sense to me.  Military intelligence was good at teaching you to think out of the box, whether you were trying to get in or out of one.  The problem is similar yet different.  I took my original photo back to the cemetery and returned to where I stood to take the photo.  I also brought the same camera.  It was about the same time of day.  I took more photos, then I went to look at the two foggy columns.  They weren't foggy.  They were two six-foot marble obelisks about six feet apart.  I looked to see if a woman was buried in one and a man in the other.  Reversed!  A woman was buried in the right and a man was buried in the left.

When I returned home I went through the same procedure of enlarging the photos.  I had two undeniable photos of marble obelisks.  Even as far away as they were, you could tell.  So, what had I captured the first time?  I don't know.  I have taken award-winning photos.  My hand doesn't shake from photo to photo.  For me, it is beyond the scope of my rudimentary understanding.  For me, it is paranormal.  It is what it is until it isn't, and then it will be what it is... again.

One last offering from an investigation I undertook at the Blue Rose Mansion, here in town.  I was taking photos, trying to capture anything of Leddy, the spirit if a young girl who died from yellow fever, in her room at the top of the stairs, in the mid-1800s.  I told her I was only going to take two more photographers, so if she wanted me to return she would have to get in front of my lens so I could see her.  The last two of 23 photos looked like this:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

- Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Our Multitudinal Lives

"The souls must reenter the absolute substance whence they have emerged. But to accomplish this, they must develop all the perfections, the germ of which is planted in them; and if they have not fulfilled this condition during one life, they must commence another, a third, and so forth, until they have acquired the condition which fits them for reunion with God."

-- Zohar, the chief text of the Jewish Kabbalah

A question was floated into the ether the other day:  "We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one. Do you agree?"  

The question received two answers, the first, "No, “realization” does not change reality, it is altogether passive.  Metaphorically, if one realizes they are a soul rather than merely a physical being, there is a “beginning” to their understanding, but this is not a beginning of the soul itself. We exist as souls whether one realizes it or not."

The second answer was from me, "No. We have many lives to live, just not in this reality. We live these lives as a way of learning, and we bring what we learn back to the ether when our souls return after each death. The knowledge we share is then spread throughout the universe as cosmic knowledge."

"I am certain that I have been here as I am now a thousand times before, and I hope to return a thousand times."

-- Goethe

Personally, I had no knowledge of Zohar, the chief text of the Jewish Kabbalah when I developed my views on multiple lives.  Zohar states: "The souls must reenter the absolute substance whence they have emerged. But to accomplish this, they must develop all the perfections, the germ of which is planted in them; and if they have not fulfilled this condition during one life, they must commence another, a third, and so forth, until they have acquired the condition which fits them for a reunion with God."  I've done this quite often throughout my life, formed a philosophy just to find the philosophy already exists.  But it bears out the truth in my premise that ideas are continuously transmitted through the ether for all to learn from and build upon.  It is why great ideas occur at the same time in different parts of the world without any of the parties even knowing of the other's existence.

"The soul comes from without into the human body, as into a temporary abode, and it goes out of it anew… it passes into other habitations, for the soul is immortal."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our lives are lived to learn lessons and record data for greater knowledge of all life.  When our life in the realm is complete we download and move into our next existence to learn more.  As we learn and become more aware of why we are, we progress upward toward our reunion with the creative force of all things.  Ever have a sense of déjà vu?  If we don't learn the lessons we are required, we will keep reliving a particular existence until we do.  How many times must you jump off a twelve-story building, just to find yourself back there in your next life?   A cat has nine times to learn the lessons.  How many do we have?

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.”

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered.

“Yes, Piglet?”

“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet. Even longer,’ Pooh answered.”

Have you ever just known you have loved somebody forever?  You feel you keep dying and finding them in your next life, over and over again?  Our souls are charged particles if you will, and the charge is what it is through each existence we live.  Hence, we are drawn toward each other in each existence for this very reason.  It is why we feel we've known someone before, loved someone before, or have that sense needing to be somewhere and not knowing why.  It is why some of us can feel so deeply for someone we really don't know, and we can't explain why.

"He saw all these forms and faces in a thousand relationships… become newly born. Each one was mortal, a passionate, painful example of all that is transitory. Yet none of them died, they only changed, were always reborn, continually had a new face: only time stood between one face and another."

-- Herman Hesse

Once you own the why of things it is easier to smile and move forward.  I have a pretty good mind and I have used it for nothing.  Or, have I?  My childhood was a confusion of high activity with no focus.  Why?  Because my young mind was confused.  I wanted to learn but I couldn't.  I was being torn to another path.  Once I understood this, life became more focused.  Intellect was not why I was put here, "smarts" was why.  The path before me was philosophical, and where philosophy requires good sense, intelligence ofttimes is like trying to combine oil and water.

We need to stop worrying over the who, what, when, and how of things and concentrate on "why" things are what they are.  By asking "why" we can discover the truth of the universe working or not working.  You can explain what gravity is but to really understand gravity you must discover why it is.   This is one reason the answer "because" is meaningless, without further explanation, to any question of why?

If you do nothing else while you're here, discover how to be happy always.  You will be reborn to many existences so stressing over this one, or any of them, for that matter, makes little sense.  Learn to be happy now and you will probably remember how to be happy in the next life and the one after that, and so on.  Live, learn, be happy, move forward, repeat, and remember that time does not exist.  

How simple is this?

"I did not begin when I was born, nor when I was conceived. I have been growing, developing, through incalculable myriads of millenniums… All my previous selves have their voices, echoes, promptings in me… Oh, incalculable times again shall I be born."

-- Jack London

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Exercising Stupidity: Memorial Day 2020

Memorial Day 2020 - Lake of the Ozarks

“If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”

--Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol

Memorial Day 2020 marks the beginning of opening back up the country, with safety measures and good sense in place to ensure we protected as many people as possible from COVID-19.  The "chaos factor" for this little exercise would be the stupidity of the majority of humanity. Social distancing, wearing masks, limiting crowd sizes, all went out the window in favor of drinking alcohol, and having a good time.

I, for one, was disappointed in my fellow humans.  College graduates, who actually followed the rules to mitigate COVID-19, should be ecstatic.  The idiots of the world are going to die.  A lot of real estate properties will become available at reasonable rates.  A plethora of jobs will crop up and the wages will be good due to the lack of competition because the competition chose to die.  If we must have stupidity, at least the stupidity should benefit the stronger and smarter among us.  Unfortunately, the stupid will also be responsible for murdering most of the innocent.  Perhaps the courts should make an example of them.

I drove along the Mississippi Gulf Coast and saw more people on the beaches than I have ever seen.  Parking was at a premium.  Yet, with all these people, I saw the majority of them following the rules of distancing.  I laughed when the thought crossed my mind of how the South will rise again, as we will be the only people left alive.

In "A Christmas Carol" Charles Dicken wrote, “If they would rather die,” said Scrooge, “they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.”  It was a cold sentiment, as the story goes.  But, is just as cold a sentiment being voiced here?  The morons have been told the dangers, they've been told how to mitigate, the chose to ignore it all and put other people at risk of death.  I should be hesitant to pass judgment o  anyone.  It is not my place to judge.  I also believe in calling a spade a spade, and when I witness blatant stupidity, I have to call it out.

What good will come of this?  Death is never good.  Murder is never good either, however.  If we are to find any silver lining in this madness, it would be ridding the world of ignorance and stupidity.  

But, at what cost to innocence?

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

The Human Construct of Time

"People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955), theoretical physicist

Those who read me are familiar with my thoughts on time.  Time, for other than intents and purposes, does not exist.  The notion of time was developed by intelligent creatures as a way of further structuring our lives.  Simple creatures move to warmer climes when it starts to get cold, and back when it begins to warm up.  When the animals migrate it is good hunting.  Fruit in the trees means plenty for all.  Then, one day, someone realized there is a cycle to life.  They counted the full moons between migrations, and what would become known as seasons.  Soon, "one thousand, two thousand, three thousand" became seconds and sixty seconds became an hour and there was seen to be 24 hours in what became known as a day, and so on.  Humans became organized, efficient, and anchored to this concept of time, and with it came stress, high blood pressure, drama, and fear.  Deadlines had to be met, plans had to be made, after all, there were only so many hours in a day. 

Now, I have to explain, for the League of the Perpetually Offended, that I am well aware this is an oversimplification.  I also admit that many will say time always existed and mankind simply became aware.  If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to witness it, does it make a sound?  If you follow discoveries in physics we are finding that what we perceive is not only our reality, but our reality is possibly what we expect to perceive.  If we think it, it exists.  

Let's take "nothing" as an example.  Nothing wasn't anything until it was perceived, given a name, and then it became the concept of nothing.  We have a concept of a vacuum, where nothing exists, and even this concept has issues.  There is no such thing as a total vacuum.  There is always some particle floating around in it.  What we call a "total vacuum" is simply a vacuum where we have removed as much as is probably possible, and then we add an "X" factor, the unknown factor, to make up for the rest.  There may be no true absolute of anything, there might be only as close as we can.  The rest is an illusion.  Did I hear someone yell out bullshit?

Bullshit!  The yellow flags are being thrown on the play!  Foul!  Really?  Open your mind a bit as I share an excerpt from "The Great Unknown Deluxe: Seven Journeys to the Frontiers of Science" by British author and mathemetician Marcus du Sautoy:

"Strangely, the act of observation can also stop the pot of uranium on my desk from decaying.  By continually making lots of mini-observations, try to catch it in the act of emitting radiation, I can freeze the uranium and stop it from decaying.  It's the quantum version of the old adage that a watched pot never boils.

The code-cracking mathematician Alan Turing was the first to realize that continually observing an unstable particle could somehow freeze it and stop it from evolving.  The phenomenon became known as the quantum zero effect, after the Greek philosopher who believed that because instantaneous snapshots of an arrow in flight reveal no movement, the arrow cannot in fact be moving at all.

Think of a particle that can be in two states, HERE and THERE.  Unobserved, like the electron passing through both slits at the same time, we can consider it to be a mixture of the two states, but observation forces it to decide which one.  If it decides to be HERE, then after observation it begins to evolve into a mixed state again, but observe it quickly enough and it's still mostly HERE and will probably collapse into the HERE state again.  So, by continually observing the particle, it never evolves sufficiently into the THERE state."

So, if we continually observe "time" does time stop evolving?  Is time here or there?  Is time past, now, or the future?  Does time, in effect, really exist or is it simply a conceptual tool we use to give our reality structure?

It is what it is until it isn't, and then it is what it is again.  If the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus is correct that change is the only constant in the universe, what does this say about time?  Is time simply the process we came up with in order to track said change?  And if we ignore time will it continue to exist, and will we really care if it does?

I wonder.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Truth and Our World View

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.”

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881), The Brothers Karamazov

There is a site online called "Quora" where folks can ask others for answers, or specifically ask a person for their answer.  When I started answering some of these, I had no idea so many people would specifically ask me for my humble opinion.  "How can the truth change how we see the world?"  This was one question, put to me just recently, and the following was my answer:

Lying is how the world works. All governments lie and cheat their constituents, and those constituents expect it, they watch for it, and they aren’t surprised when they see it. If someone wasn’t prepared for it, well, it says much about their attention. The best we can hope for is to have as much truth as possible. The Democrats in America have a serious credibility problem, the Republicans have significantly less but they still have one.

We wallow in misery perpetuated by the government because this is how the government stays in control of the people, and minority representatives are the worst because they keep their boot firmly planted on the necks of their own people while telling them they’re not equal when the truth is that slavery never ended, the color of the master simply changed. This is why the Democrat Party, the Party of Jim Crow and the KKK, morphed from racists to have such a large minority following: Promise everything, but if you keep them fed and ignorant you’ll have a voter for life. Their own minority representatives know this, and it keeps their coffers full and their BS spewing forth like a ruptured sewer main.

Only truth will set you free, and if you can’t believe your own people what does that say about truth, or freedom?

What we do is believe what we are told by people we expect to tell us the truth.  The fact that people have hidden agendas never occurs to many of us and, if it does, we dismiss it because we want to believe the best, not the worst.  Governments lie to us all the time, and the best example of what I just said is getting a President in office who really his country and wants to get rid of all the bullshit and having the opposite political party spend four years trying to convince the people the opposite instead of working with him to make our country greater than its ever been.

We had a Civil War that was fought over economics, yet many would try to convince us the primary reason was slavery.  If we fought the war over slavery why did both Presidents consider freeing the slaves three years into the fighting?  Lincoln beat David to the punch, but why didn't Lincoln free the slave from the onset?  Because it wasn't about slavery.  If it was, Lincoln would not have set a colored regiment into Louisiana to roundup "ex-slaves" and send them to Mississippi in order to pick the cotton the North fought and died for.  It makes more sense to emancipate first, then declare war on those who don't, but it seems the winner of conflict determines history.  

History is a concept best concerned with truth, but it would seem some factions in the United States are all about tearing down things that would teach history, whether good or bad.  Emblems are not necessarily symbols.  Symbols are things that reflect beliefs and without that belief, it becomes just an emblem.  What people who tear down history are saying is, we're too stupid to tell the difference; we'de rather keep the symbol alive through are stupidity than understand it and make it an emblem of a bygone era which we can learn from.  The Nazi swastika is an example.  Europe should have a giant statue of Hitler so no one forgets the horrors the Nazi regime visited upon the world.  If you forget history you are doomed to repeat it.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

-- Joe Klaas, author, Twelve Steps to Happiness

We have a political party in this country that denies history, and how far equality has progressed here.  They constantly try to convince people that racism is growing.  It is disconcerting to me that this is the party that fostered slavery, the party of Jim Crow, and the KKK, yet minorities flock to them like flies to shit.  Never mind that history states the other party is the party that fought the battles for freedom, equality, and civil rights.  And, even more disconcerting, are the minority representatives who keep their boot planted firmly on the necks of their minority constituents so they can reap the benefits and stay in political office while they accomplish little of substance for their own.  There are also Christian minority "reverends" who also foster this negative viewpoint simply for the popularity and money it garners them.  This is just sad.

People believe the bullshit because they're too lazy to research and understand the truth, even when their own people tout it.  We still have people who are racists; there will always be racists, a sad fact of life.  But, to deny how far we have progressed is to foster greater negativity than exists cleaves a divide between good people not founded in any semblance of truth.

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

-- Winston S. Churchill  (1874-1965), Prime Minister of Great Britain

We look for truth in the worst of places, our news media.  We expect facts, so we look for these "facts" in whichever news outlet will print what we want to hear, nevermind that its pure bullshit.  I want to read the news, and I want that news backed up by facts, not opinion.  If it's based on supposition because facts are few, then this needs to be stated up front, not buried at the end or conveniently left out altogether.

Russian author and journalist, Fyodor Dostoevsky, wrote in his novel The Brothers Karamazov, “Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.”  I try not to lie to myself.  To that end, I am a self-admitted hypocrite.  Don't do as I do, do as I say.  I absolutely know wrong from right, and doing either is a matter of conscious choice.  By making a choice it is incumbent upon each of us to own the choice we make.

“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

-- George Orwell (1903-1950), author, journalist, social critic

Making good choices will help us ferret out the bad.  It will also require us to research everything before we believe it.  If you always seek the truth, you will never have to remember your lies.  People, especially Politicians, tend to forget this, and the fact that everything is now recorded for posterity.

The gentleman who asked me for my answer to the question he posed on Quora must have liked my answer because he "upvoted" it.  I try not to color my thoughts or veil my answers; it accomplishes nothing but muddy the water.  Most people I hang around with are smart enough to see through the bullshit, even the intelligent bullshit.  It is amazing how it's usually the "intelligent" people who try to bull shit and its the smart people who call them down on it.

How truth can change how we see the world is pretty obvious.  The problem is taking the time to find the truth.  If we all researched what is put forward so we can determine the validity of it for ourselves, we would be so much smarter when we make decisions.  Don't simply believe what you read or hear.  If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't.  If it sounds like something a person wouldn't do, they probably didn't.  And last, but never least, there is no such thing as a free lunch; we print money based on nothing but a promise.  Does this not bother anybody? 

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), lawyer, political ethicist

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

No Bad Child

“If mental abuse was a punishable crime, a lot of parents would be in jail serving a long term.”

--  Maddy Malhotra, author, success & happiness coach

I really believe there is no bad child.  I've seen bad children, then I see their parents; not necessarily bad, just not being parents, or not being present, being too busy, too wrapped up in their own selfishness, or not being much of anything, anything I can mention in polite company.  I have no use for parents who refuse to parent, or parent badly, and there is little excuse for ignorance in this day and age.  Bad parenting is child abuse.  Except for the one in a million, the golden bullet, the child simply born evil, children are born innocent and learn everything else from their "mentoring" parents.  I really believe parents should be held accountable for the actions of their children.  If they were, there might be a lot fewer children born to lackadaisical parents.

“Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana, author, philosopher, social critic

Who puts their child on a leash?  Does this bother anyone else?  If you're too wrapped up in shopping to parent your child, then don't have one!  You have to teach the child not to wander, to respect authority, to respect you.  If your child doesn't respect you what are the chances that anyone else you know really has respect for you?  What's next, locking them in a closet?

You are the positive and negative reinforcement the child requires in order to make good decisions in life and, if they fail, have the tools to turn failure into a learning experience.  If there is no parent, someone else will step in to fill that void.  There are plenty of gang leaders, dope dealers, pimps, child molesters, and the like, who are more than willing to take the reigns of control and have the tried and true tools of experience to accomplish it.

“One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline.... But also every single day a kid needs a break.”

-- Anne Lamott, novelist, political activist, teacher

Children are like puppies.  They are cute, fun, and need the discipline to understand the pecking order of life.  State the requirement, test their understanding, explain why they are disciplined for failure and praised for success, restate the requirement, and start again.  Keep repeating until they get it right. We call this training.  We call this communication. And, when they succeed, we praise their success with a leather chew toy... or an ice cream.  All of this is called parenting.

“Your job as a parent is not to make your child's way smooth, but rather to help her develop inner resources so she can cope.”

-- Ellyn Satter, family therapist, author

I truly love children.  I have two of my own and two grandchildren.  One thing I can say about children who are considered bad, there might be reasons for it beyond lack of parenting; Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder, Autism, and the like.  I think, as a child, I had ADHD before we actually knew what it was.  My son acted the same way, and my grandson seems to have inherited it, as well, and to his mother's chagrin.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

-- Proverbs 22:6

As children, we were pains in the ass.  Schools did not hold our attention unless it was something we wanted to learn; everything else was so much more important.  Foot stomping tantrums, yelling, screaming, crying, and so much more would come and go before I went on to a career in military intelligence, my son made his own career with Verizon and, now, we all wait with anticipation to see how the grandchild fares.  No bad children, just misunderstood or misdiagnosed.  And the best part?  After taking years off our parent's lives, we simply grew out of it.  We were lucky ones.

People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

-- Mark 10:13-16

Every year we learn more about the brain and how it works.  We learn that, sometimes, children just can't help themselves.  Instead of asylums, it is now up to science to blaze the path to some semblance of normalcy for the children.

Children enter this world without sin.  What happens after they arrive, however, is in the hands of adults.  Will their little minds be polluted by actions of others or will they be taught ethical and moral values with which to, one day, impart to their own progeny?  Will they be shown patience, communication, understanding, mentoring, and discipline?  Will they be shown love and taught how to be happy always?    

One can only hope. 

“People who are not fully enlightened have no business becoming parents. This contradicts the conventionally accepted notion that people have an inherent "right" to have children. They do not. People who have a compulsion to traumatize a child, even in the mildest forms, are breaking the child's human rights, though of course the parental compulsion to find false pleasure through procreation obliterates their awareness of these rights. But interestingly, many parents would agree that convicted pedophiles and child murderers have no right to procreate, because of the dynamics in which they are so likely to engage.”

-- Daniel Mackler, Toward truth: A psychological guide to enlightenment

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

What's in a Relationship?

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”-- Leo F. Buscaglia, Professor, author, motivational speaker

Leo Buscaglia: A man I never knew but grew to love, a man I never met but grew to respect, and a man for which I cried when I heard that he had passed.  If you haven't heard of Leo you can look him up online and watch many of his videos.  The quotes in this post are all his.  He teaches much about love and relationships.  Leo once said, “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”  

Rest in peace, my secret mentor.

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don't over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.”

A woman I was in a relationship with once told me she wanted to dedicate herself to me and our relationship.  I told her that wasn't what I wanted.  I wanted her to grow and become her own person.  Now, I did this by letter, from overseas while on a short tour with the military.  Never say this kind of stuff in a letter - it will be misunderstood, especially if, deep down inside, what the other party really wants... is out.  You just gave them permission to do anything.  If you listen, you can learn much from failure.  I became a hypocrite.

“The hardest battle you are ever going to have to fight is the battle to be just you.”

My failure taught me a lot about relationships.  The first, of course, is to talk face to face, not over the phone or by mail, about anything that is important in a life-changing way.  Communication is paramount.  Both parties need to learn how to listen, question and provide feedback, judge your understanding, and repeat the communication if necessary to ensure you "get it."  I failed at this so badly, and communication was my job in the military.

“A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world.”

So, what's in a relationship? Well, I had to take a serious look at this, for myself. In my personal life, I cook and wash dishes. I sew, wash, fold, and iron, my own clothes. I don't consider any of these a chore, rather rote tasks that allow me time to ponder the universe. Ironing became an anal task in the military. My shirts had to be ironed just so, and it seemed I was the only one capable of doing them right. I entertain myself and enjoy my "me time." I've always enjoyed the time by myself. It isn't that I don't like people, I just don't need them, but I do want them, as long as they're not underfoot. I do like the companionship, conversation, and common interests we have together. So, I'm not anti-social, but what do I want in a personal relationship? What do I want them to bring to the table? Nothing. Well, almost nothing.

I have done everything for myself since I left home.  Mom taught me how to be self-sufficient.  When I was married, nothing changed.  Why should it?  All I wanted from my wife was for her to become her own person, not to become reliant on me or constantly feel as though she had to dote on me, basically be constantly underfoot.  What I wanted from my wife was for her was to love me.  That was so very too much to ask, however.  Why does "love" seem to always involve drama?  Because we seem to live for drama.

“Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.”

People use me because I allow it, not because they think I don't know what they're doing.  When I tire of being used it surprises them when I state its either time to stop or for the relationship to end.  A knife in the back by a significant other is a good time to call it off, especially if they're just using you.

I look upon a relationship between two people as being partners in business.  You each bring something to the table, equal with respect to your abilities unless you both agree it isn't necessary.  But, the slack in this agreement must be made up in other ways to keep your partnership equal in the "business."  Since I can provide everything for myself and require nothing from another person, what can they possibly bring to the table that I don't already have?  Love.  And, if I love them, I can excuse any use of me they think they're getting away with.  Knowing that, if they truly loved me, they shouldn't be using me in the first place.  For me, love is funny that way.  I tend to ignore negative things, at least for a while.  If you're not using me, great!  If you're doing nothing for me, I have to ask, "Why are you in my world?"

"When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.  And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom."

Lead, follow, or get out of the way!  For me, this is a good credo for an excellent relationship.  If you can't pick one of these the relationship won't work.  Look at the friends around you and ask yourself how you interact with them?  In any situation, there will be leaders, followers, and those who just need to go sit down and let the rest do the task at hand; the time for their abilities will come in due course.

“Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”

Since my divorce in 2000, I have tried not to argue with people.  Instead, I try to understand their point of view or let them fail and then help pick up the pieces with a healthy dose of "told you so" in my eyes.  A relationship can be tough enough without fighting and drama, and if this is all there is maybe the relationship isn't a good fit.  Maybe it would be best for both of you to get shed of it.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Having said all this, I also have to remember I'm a self-proclaimed hypocrite.  Well, aren't we all, to some extent, hypocritical?  Don't we bend the rules occasionally to suit ourselves?  Aren't we all, to some extent, selfish?  Do as I say not as I do?  A little guilt is good for a relationship, it keeps one humble.  A lot of guilt, on the other hand, keeps one looking over their shoulder, especially if your death would be more beneficial to them than loss.  Just saying.

“The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.”

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.