Making a Long Story Short

"I could not stop talking because now I had started my story,
it wanted to be finished."

-- Chris Cleave, writer, journalist

A British writer and journalist, Chris Cleave, once wrote "I could not stop talking because now I had started my story, it wanted to be finished. We cannot choose where to start and stop. Our stories are the tellers of us."  It can be an unfortunate reality that humans are storytellers.  I suffer from this.  Many of those around me also suffer from this.  And, there are those who make others suffer from this.  We don't necessarily mean to visit suffering upon others, we just have a burning desire to pass on a tale we find interesting or important. Sometimes our stories are the tellers of us.  Oftentimes, I'd say the way we deliver a story is also a great teller of us.

Oh, you're going to make a long story short, again?  Well, why don't you just shoot me in the head with a large caliber bullet, set fire to my nether regions, or beat me about the head with a cast iron skillet?  Actually, as my "significant other" can attest, I usually excuse myself for a second while I go make another stiff drink, a refreshment, to enjoy during the aforementioned "short" story.  Tolerance and patience - the two lessons which God constantly places in front of me.  I usually include a silent prayer when I'm confronted with "short" stories:  Please, God, make this lesson interesting.  If your audience mutters "amen" at the end of your tale, they're either glad you're finished or they found it interesting and actually got something meaningful out of it, like enjoyment, the moral, or just the point of why they thought you needed to hear it in the first place.

"Well, if storytelling is important, then your narrative ability or your ability to put into words or use what someone else has put into words effectively, is important too."

-- Howard Gardner, psychologist, Harvard professor

When someone has a story to tell, it is usually one of life's little amusing anecdotes.  By definition, an anecdote is "a short amusing or interesting story about a real incident or person."  Societal politeness requires that we endure the tale out of respect for the person telling it, even if it was volunteered and not asked for.  Again, this might require tolerance and patience if the storyteller isn't familiar with the definition of "short" and, in particular, just the idea behind keeping the anecdote short.

I learned the art of keeping things short while briefing intelligence situations to command staff and aircrew in the military.  Tell them what they have a need to know and if they have questions they'll ask.

I wrote two novels for my own enjoyment.  The first was 500 pages long and the second, more of a draft, was only 200.  I know for a fact that the 200-page effort needs more meat added to it.  I also realize the 500-page effort is almost half the length of War and Peace.  It has so much fluff that it very well might bore the reader in spots.  I know all this because I'm my own worse critic.  I'm always fighting my urge to keep things concise and to the point, hard to do when writing the "great American novel," even when it's just for yourself.

Our anecdotes, on the other hand, are supposed to be concise and interesting.  I liken them to intelligence briefings; cut out all the fluff and get to the point.  Consider your audience, watch their faces for boredom, and learn to wrap it up quickly if you start to lose them - like when they yawn, refill their drink, or have to use the restroom more than once.  

"Storytelling offers the opportunity to talk with your audience, not at them."

-- Laura Holloway, Founder and Chief of The Storyteller Agency

When it comes right down to it, shorter is usually better.  What we find interesting is not necessarily interesting to others.  I find this especially true when someone feels like sharing the drama in their lives, or their children's lives, or the drama in the lives of the third cousin on their mother's uncle's sister's side.  Why in the world would someone think we'd find that interesting?  Yet there are those who think we should, and they even think we should get involved in it, as well.  Not only no, but hell no!  I try to stay well away from drama.

“Once upon a time there was what there was, and if nothing had happened there would be nothing to tell.”

-- Charles de Lint, writer

Soap operas and reality TV are meant for those people who don't have a life.  If they had a life they wouldn't be escaping into someone else's fictional drama, they'd be too wrapped up in their own drama.  And, I guess that's the point; most of us have enough drama in our lives and, because of that drama, we all have stories we think need to be told.  They usually aren't short humorous anecdotes meant to put a smile on our face at the telling but, rather, they are dramas which everyone else thinks we need to hear, or worse, to be a part of.  Fine, then do us all a favor and learn to keep the story short. 

Find a way to keep the tale concise and get rapidly to the point.  If your audience is really interested they'll ask questions and make comments.  God knows we all have more than enough people waiting in line to regale us with their own dramas.  I'll probably end up at my favorite watering hole, later on, and have a couple of drinks with friends as we swap anecdotal tales of the past few days.  I will endeavor to keep mine short and, as usual, I too will probably fail.

Just saying.

“The art of storytelling is reaching its end because the epic slice of truth, wisdom, is dying out.”

-- Walter Benjamin (1892-1940), philosopher, cultural critic

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.