Of What Dreams Are Made

What are little boys made of

What are little boys made of

Snips & snails & puppy dogs tails

And such are little boys made of.

What are little girls made of

Sugar & spice & all things nice.

-- Robert Southey (1774–1843), poet

"Oooh, but this rhyme gets my feminist hackles up. It implants gender essentialism in the youngest minds of our society before (arguably) they have the critical function to question such assumptions and provides children with ideals of masculinity and femininity to which they may well not conform, creating a pressure towards reconciliation with gender stereotypes which, frankly, toddling tots do not need. It is part of a socialization process that forgives the transgressions of young males with a dismissive ‘boys will be boys’ while shaping young girls into passive nonentities, sweet and willing. It is, as Caitlin Moran would have it, bullshit."

-- Treasury Islands, "Origins: What Are Little Boys Made Of?"

And to think, all this time I just thought it was a nice poem that told it like it is:  Men are not so much, and women are more than that.  Silly me.  But then, this commentary is typical of what I've come to expect from the League of the Perpetually Offended.  After the author gets her "feminist hackles up" she goes on to speak for Caitlin Moran with little to no context.  The question hanging out there, for me:  Who in the hell is this Caitlin Moran character?  And you're probably wondering what this digression has to do with any thoughts I might have of what dreams are made.

Moran suggested that young girls should not read books written by men at all, or "at least" until they are "older, and fully-formed, and battle-ready," singling out the books written by:

"...the Great White Males; Faulkner, Chandler, Hemingway, Roth. The canonically brilliant. The men in them are brilliant, clever, awkward, compelling, complex - their stories drag you in, their voices are unstoppable. The dazzle and flair is undeniable."

Moran claimed that the fact she never read books by men when she was younger made her "perhaps," happier in herself, more confident about writing the truth, and less apt to run herself down for her appearance, weight, loudness and unusualness "than many, many other women."

-- Wikipedia, "Caitlin Moran"

Ah!  She's a feminist, as well.  No shit.  Now, is Moran singling out the books written by the "Great White Males" as those not to read?  Her condemnation is confusing to me when she goes on to, seemingly, praise their writing.  And, yet, according to the information about her on Wikipedia (above), "she never read books by men when she was younger..."  Again, I'm a tad confused.  Personally, and I was actually taught by teachers who taught, I think the "youngest minds of our society" would be hard-pressed to understand, much less sit still long enough, to grasp the nuances of the aforementioned "canonically brilliant" authors.  Why can't brilliant authors just be brilliant authors?  Why do they have to be "Great White Males" as opposed to great any other colored male authors?  Oh, that's right, I forgot to leave the door open for the perpetually offended among us.  But, then, the whole commentary I shared about this rhyme just gets my grandfatherly hackles up.  For God's sake, it's a poem, a nursery rhyme, written 200 years ago - get over it.

Now, as to what this has to do with of what dreams are made?  Well, for most men, the answer to this question would be... women!  My dreams deserve to be put on some lofty pedestal, but that's the way I was raised, by my mother who was steeped in Southern manners and thought it best to ensure I learned those manners and carried on the heritage or, at least, gave it my best shot (refer to my line in the preceding paragraph concerning "youngest minds" sitting still long enough).

"Love and respect woman. Look to her not only for comfort, but for strength and inspiration and the doubling of your intellectual and moral powers. Blot out from your mind any idea of superiority; you have none."

-- Giuseppe Mazzini (1805-1872), politician, journalist

I loved to put girls, and then women, on pedestals.  Well, all but one, and she was a test from God almighty which I failed miserably; a failure for which I've spent the past 28% of my life doing self-imposed penance.  But, decorum demands a gentleman treat a woman with deference.  I have always tried to abide by this, and hope the many women I've known will attest that I succeed more than I fail.

What are little girls made of?  Little girls, in the case of boys, and women in the case of men, are of what dreams are made.  Women should not be offended by this.  It does not require they strive any harder or any less to be more or less than they think they are.  It does require, however, that some of them lose the seemingly permanent chip on their shoulder and allow men to treat them with love and respect... and then they can put their "bitch from hell" face on and join us in combat.  Will we be more concerned about them during a firefight than the other men in the unit?  Hell, yes!  But, if that concern jeopardizes the mission, they're probably going to eat an enemy bullet for mom and apple pie, just like any of the rest of the guys.  Does this seem cold-hearted?  It's called equal rights, and they fought to achieve it.  I respect that.  When I hold open a door for her, I hope she respects I was brought up by my mother to do that for her.

"Whenever you think about disrespecting a woman, 

think about how you were born into this world."

-- Anonymous 

You are what you want to be, so own your decisions and stop complaining or shifting blame.  It's called being an adult, so deal with it.  Our lives are about the choices we make and the consequences of those choices.  Blaming a children's nursery rhyme for your own inequities is a choice you make to remain a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended, or you can choose to take a higher road and rise above the excuses you make for not being better than that.

For me, girls were of what dreams were made, and the women they grow into are proof of God's perfection.  If what my dreams are made of offends you, maybe try considering... it's just you.

Of What Dreams Are Made

Of what dreams are made?

I know this without a doubt:

Dreams are made of you,

That’s what they’re all about.

I thought to dream of castles,

Knights and ladies fair,

But every time I see the throne

Only you are there.

I stand to fight the dragon,

And save a maiden in distress.

As I snatch her from the jaws of death

It is you that’s in the dress.

Of what dreams are made?

I know this without a doubt:

Dreams are made of you,

That’s what they’re all about.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.