Have you stopped beating your wife?
Answer: □ Yes □ No
Sometimes there is no right answer. It can be frustrating. It can be dangerous. "Do those pants make you look fat? Really? A face that could stop a clock and that's your worry?" "Fatter, or just fat? I'm confused." "You mean, as opposed to usually?" "It isn't the pants making you look fat?" "You don't 'look' fat." "Let me sleep on it." "I suppose you want an answer right this minute?" "A closet full of clothes and you don't have a tent?" And, of course, the ever-popular subtle non-answer, "Uh..."
Let's face it, she wouldn't ask if she weren't already concerned. Even if you love her, simply saying "no" would make you a liar and shoot your credibility all to hell. You might be better off saying, "You don't look fat to me, doll." If you don't put much spin on that "me," you might even get a kiss for being sweet. Some people might even advise that she's simply looking for a "warm fuzzy," as opposed to intentionally opening you up for a potential butt whipping. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so if she wants a warm fuzzy I'd prefer she has her hair and nails done, put on some makeup, a nice dress, some sexy heels, grabs my butt, and stops asking questions she already knows the answers to. Just saying.
Sometimes there is no right answer.
"Will you respect me in the morning?" The question presupposes he respects you now, and if that respect isn't obviously clear, why in God's good name are you with him, much less thinking of doing the nasty with him? What's your response going to be if the answer isn't what you want to hear? His telling kneejerk answer might be, "Uh... well... uh... of course!" Then again, he might just smile. Unless there's no expectation of respect on your part, you should immediately walk away; otherwise, you reap what you sow and good luck with that. Men should never have a problem respecting women they're with, and women should expect them to give it. Men should learn how to bake cookies for them, later that evening, preferably something with chocolate in them. Men might also consider making them breakfast the next morning because... well, why not?
Sometimes there is no right answer to keep one out of trouble. Bad marriages are a great place to find examples of questions phrased specifically to make sure you're paying attention as you're being set up to fail. When in doubt I have learned that honesty can win the day if you couch the answer properly. The problem with being set up to fail is a basic lack of mutual understanding and respect, like in a nasty divorce. Honesty, be damned. Right is wrong and there doesn't have to be a reason to ignore honesty other than someone needs to be hurt and, unfortunately, it's usually the children.
Things aren’t always what they seem. What we see is often open to interpretation, and what we hear is often not clear. Answers in these circumstances are always a matter of choice, of right or wrong. Either way, we will garner enlightenment as truth wins out.
The good thing about "sometimes" is the good probability of "other times" when there will be a right answer. My "other times" have become "more times than not" as I have learned more than I ever thought concerning humility. The best thing about humility is a realization you don't always have to be right. Humility provides a path for mutual understanding and respect, patience and communication. I suppose if one finds themselves always at odds with right answers, I 'd advise finding a little humility.
I'd also advise people to accept themselves. If you're comfortable with who you are then why do you care about someone else's opinion of you? If you don't like being fat, deal with it. If you're fine with the way you look, then embrace it. Loving ourselves is the first step to loving others. We tend to bring way too much drama into our lives when we ask questions to which we already know the answers.
Of course, all of this is just my humble opinion. I could be wrong.
Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.
Sometimes there is no right answer to keep one out of trouble. Bad marriages are a great place to find examples of questions phrased specifically to make sure you're paying attention as you're being set up to fail. When in doubt I have learned that honesty can win the day if you couch the answer properly. The problem with being set up to fail is a basic lack of mutual understanding and respect, like in a nasty divorce. Honesty, be damned. Right is wrong and there doesn't have to be a reason to ignore honesty other than someone needs to be hurt and, unfortunately, it's usually the children.
Things aren’t always what they seem. What we see is often open to interpretation, and what we hear is often not clear. Answers in these circumstances are always a matter of choice, of right or wrong. Either way, we will garner enlightenment as truth wins out.
The good thing about "sometimes" is the good probability of "other times" when there will be a right answer. My "other times" have become "more times than not" as I have learned more than I ever thought concerning humility. The best thing about humility is a realization you don't always have to be right. Humility provides a path for mutual understanding and respect, patience and communication. I suppose if one finds themselves always at odds with right answers, I 'd advise finding a little humility.
I'd also advise people to accept themselves. If you're comfortable with who you are then why do you care about someone else's opinion of you? If you don't like being fat, deal with it. If you're fine with the way you look, then embrace it. Loving ourselves is the first step to loving others. We tend to bring way too much drama into our lives when we ask questions to which we already know the answers.
Of course, all of this is just my humble opinion. I could be wrong.
Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.
It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.
We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.
Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.
A man can tell how a woman will be, react to circumstances, situations when their dating before marriage is even in the question. If the woman insists of all ways being right and get what she wants and does not care how the man she claims she loves is able to or cannot get for her what she wants and throws temper tantrums like she did growing up, that tells me she will always be that way through out life.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I say this? Because I was in several relationships where the woman was so dominant that she did not want to take no for an answer when she wanted something so bad or would not wait until I could afford to get it for her, or she would say You Have to do this because thats the way it is with my parents, then I say that is the end of the relationship and why should I torture myself with this type of attitude in life. When trying to explain in simple terms and as politely without trying to hurt her feelings and they don't want to listen to one word you have to say why bother at all.
Now NOT ALL WOMEN are like this. I have never been able to find a woman that is not so demanding and dominant that she just wants to get in life what she wants and not care one bit of what I would like also. Its a 50/50 situation. If the woman does not want to go that way and she wants it to be 100/0 for her benefit then thats when I say its not going to work out that way and if she does not want to compromise than find someone else who is going to cater to her every wimp. Love is a 2 way streak. Love one another as God loves you is what I always say. If she says she loves you and you and everyone else see's it differently and you Pray about it and your not receiving an answer what does that tell you. You already have the answer from God. He watches every move, word and deed. If one was to marry a woman that way, I know what God would say, especially when the man is close to God and the Woman does not want any part of it.