History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
What makes good people? What is the recipe for good people? This is a question recently put to me by a friend, and it is a question not easily answered. People are so diverse, they remind me of cookies; you may think you've found the best of the best only until a better one comes along. Even the best of us is only as good as the least of us. Our flaws are as obvious as our attempts to disguise them, and to what end? If the good people are defined by their "appalling silence" perhaps their silence is due in no small part to the deafening, "strident clamor" of the bad people of which they are truly a part.
But speaking out is much different than a strident clamor. My father gave me sage advice before I entered the military: He, who controls his voice, controls the conversation, and walk away from that over which you have no control. What makes a good person? Maybe it's knowing when to fight the good fight and knowing when to pick up your wounded and walk away from the bad. Besides, I've found most battles aren't worth fighting. Stupid can be learned, and most of us learn it well. Unfortunately, I have found it to be a tough malady to cure simply because it is so much easier to be an idiot than to practice restraint.
If you wish to discover the truly good person, look for someone who does not have to justify themselves. Bad people always have a justification, a reason, for what they do. You usually find these lost souls in the League of the Perpetually Offended, and even the perpetually offended are only offended until they're not. The few good people I have encountered, just are. For them it is their life, it occupies them constantly, whether they realize it or not, it is enough for them, and for us - it should be.
Our world should be as amazing as when we were children, a time when a new friend was an old friend the moment you said hello and began adventures and discovery together. There was no color or religion, and girls had cuties but you secretly stole a glance at her and smiled.
Childhood is the world of miracle and wonder… as if creation rose, bathed in the light, out of the darkness, utterly new and fresh and astonishing. The end of childhood is when things cease to astonish us.
-- Eugene Ionesco (1909-1994), French playwright
What is the recipe for good people? A good person is simply the bad person who willingly sacrificed their life to save another. Who are we to judge? Who are we to assign a label? "For if he stands, he stands to his Master, and if he falls, he falls to his Master, for it is appointed to his Master to be able to establish him." Our heroes and role models stumble and fall, sinners and hypocrites all. Yet, in the darkest hour, there can be light. It is the glimmer of hope, found in forgotten love, forgiveness, understanding and tolerance. It can be found in the acceptance that other people have an opinion, and our willingness to hear them out, providing they exercise the same willingness to peacefully discuss and debate in a spirit of understanding. If there is no control, there is no point, and it is better to wish them well, take the high road, and simply walk away.
Perhaps the recipe for "good people" can be found in the description of a mentor as a trusted counselor or guide, an advocate and teacher that seeks no reward for themselves for what they do as their actions are reward enough. A great mentor says little and speaks volumes. The few I have encountered can light up the room by entering, and then open the gates of happiness with their smile. They have no real need to speak for they exude such kindness as can be felt by those around them.
There is no one recipe for a good person, no cookie cutter sameness. They can be found in the greatest of us and in the least; the richest of us and the poorest. They can be found in a child with cancer or with Down syndrome. They can be found in the eyes of the aged or those of a newborn babe.
Good people simply are.
Editor's Note
(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)
Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint.
It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.
We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.
Fantastic Tony. Another great one and also a helpful one for me as well as those others. I am by no means a saint. Yes I cuss and take the lords name in vein. That is the Italian side of me. I act out of emotions first without first think about what made me upset.
ReplyDeleteI am one of those people you mentioned about being like a mentor. All my adult life I have always tried to make others around me happy. I always worked hard and fellow employees always seem to come to me with there problems. I would try to help anyone. My mom says I have a great smile.
I make people happy not for money or to kiss up to someone. It is natural for me. You treat me with respect and you will receive the same back. I believe in locality. Same thing as with respect. When I was working before I became disabled, I also told my prospective new boss that I wanted one thing if I were to get the job and that was to be treated like any other employees an with respect and in return, you will get back a loyal hard working employee.
I worked as an accountant for 20 years and for some very large companies. I used to do payroll and my region alone covered over 15,000 employees. In companies that large, you as the employee are just another spoke in the wheel. It was to your regional manager where you goodness showed.
I will admit that because of my anger I act out of line at times and help fuel the fire buying between people. I am trying now since I took an anger Mgmt class when it is best to just throw up your hands and just walk away. It is not worth the time or stress to continue the battle. I have other priorities in my life now. My 84 year old mom has been very ill since March and it is up to us kids to help care and assist her now. She raised me for 62 years now it is my turn to do so with her. I have lived and helped my mom since my dad died in 1982. I will never forget the final words he spoke to me the night before he died. He told me to take care your mother and I have ever since. I have not ever regulated one day during all this time. Oh yes we have our disagreements but I love my mother and would do anything God would let me do to help her.
That is my definition of a Good Person.