The Most Important Day

-- Brittany Josephina, writer, emotional nudist

MK: This reminds me of something you'd say to me. I think I'm finally getting there. 

TV: Thank you. I was hurting for something to write about. As usual, a door opens. 

MK: I'd love to read it when you're done. Thank you for always being there; you've definitely been one of my biggest supporters while I was growing up, and a large influence in the woman I've become.

TV: I am, as always, humbled.

Sometimes we make the wrong decisions, listen to and love the wrong people, have the wrong friends, and have the wrong parents.  Our lives tend to spiral out of control as we make a mistake that leads to other mistakes and we begin to think all we can do is be what the losers around us expect.  Without positive support of friends and family we are left to our own devices, and if our self-view is lacking so are our devices for controlling our lives.  

There comes a point, hopefully early on, when we need to selfishly remember, our lives are all about us, and if we can't love ourselves it will be nigh on impossible to truly ever love someone else or create anything positive in our lives.  Our decision making turns to crap and we risk a turn to drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, marriage, and pregnancy as poor excuses for escape routes as we forget to own up to our primary responsibility - us.  Our jobs, relationships, decisions, and lives all suffer because we forget about the happiness we owe ourselves; the happiness God meant for us.

The most important day in your life is the day you decide you are good enough for you.  That's the day you set yourself free.  That's the day you begin to love yourself and to understand it is okay for things to be all about you.  Loving others can be all about you.  Loving God can be all about you.  Selflessly giving of yourself in the service of others can be, selfishly, all about you, and so can being happy.  Yes, being happy is as much your choice as is being miserable.  Choose happy.

I forgot this for over twenty years.  The most important day in my life was almost my last.  It had to come to that point before I saw the light, before the veil was lifted from my eyes, before I saw the only way up from the pit of despair and loss was to climb back out.  One would think it is easier to fall into the pit than to climb out, but once you understand it is all about you, once you decide you are good enough, good enough for you to love, the path out is so much easier.  The difficult in life becomes easy.  Burdens can now simply be viewed as your tasks to be accomplished, because those tasks are for you.  Your primary responsibility is you.  You can't help someone else unless you help yourself first; be there for them, unless you are there for you; truly love anyone, unless you love you.

Without realizing it, you find the pea soup fog on your path has cleared.  All of the barriers and rough patches are diminished and you no longer have to feel your way along.  You can look ahead and see the next destination.  You can know that anything else in life are just rest stops and sights to behold.  College, work, relationships and friendships are clearer.  You know that you have a choice, your choice, of what you do and who you listen to because, first and foremost, it is all about you.

All of this is so easy to understand, and easier to accomplish.  Once you find your path, or find your path again, try to remember what I wrote a short time ago.  I hope it helps in some small way.

The Path

This is my path.

It is not your path, it is mine.

Good or bad, it is my path.

I must travel it alone.

That is your path.

It is not mine or theirs, it is yours.

Good or bad, it is your path.

You must travel it alone.

At times our paths might intersect

Or, run parallel for a while.

We will visit, laugh, and cry.

Exchange experiences and offer advice.

At some point we may part,

Perhaps to join up again

As our destination is the same

And our journey is long.

I wish for you a smooth path,

And a long, interesting, journey

Full of emotion and life,

Family and friends.

Though our destination is the same,
We will not arrive together,

But, I will wait for you, my friend

As I know you will wait for me.

In all truth, I am humbled by MK's gratitude because, in all reality, I did very little. Perhaps the adage, "less is more," had much play in what I offered to her - I listened, and I cared. But most of all I tried to lift the veil of fog preventing her from seeing her path and the barriers she faced. I love MK dearly, and I hope we remain friends for the rest of this life, and into the next.

I think she has given to me so much more to me than I have to her, with little effort and, probably, without her knowledge.  Sometimes it isn't about what we know we do; it is simply that we have done.  Everything we do, knowingly or not, is another pebble dropped in the pond we share, causing ripples that affect all they touch.  Always try to make your ripples positive and creative.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.