My Sunday Thought for January 3, 2016: Just Walk Away

"Nice, to the point, and so true. I just wish I knew how to deal with, or let go, those in my life that brings me sadness and clouds my happiness......"

-- JV

There comes a time when one has to throw up their hands in surrender at trying to deal with those whose only mission would seem to be clouding our happiness.  Sometimes they aren't even aware they're doing it and even in their denial they can manage to magnify the drama several fold.  There are also times when we might be the cause of drama to another and, instead of being honest with themselves, and you, by putting voice to it and walking away from the situation, they prefer to make both of you wallow in the misery of it all.  We can have our happiness clouded and we can cloud someone else's.  One can be at fault or both can share the blame, either way sometimes it is best just to walk away.  Simply walking away can be a wakeup call, for everyone involved. 

With fools, there is no companionship. Rather than to live with men who are selfish, vain, quarrelsome, and obstinate, let a man walk alone.

-- Buddha

Some will find reason to ridicule your action of walking away.  This usually comes from those that aren't involved in it.  It is very easy for others to armchair quarterback a situation than for them to take the field of battle and get themselves dirty.

Some will try using their own abilities at dealing with similar situations as their reason to berate you for your actions.  Remember that these people who find reason to find fault with you are, themselves, lacking.  They stand in judgement of you, and it is your choice to stand there and take it or tell them to bugger off so you can walk toward a chance at happiness.  When you choose to walk away from the shit in your life, choose to walk away from all the shit in your life, including those that judge you.

“The only love you have to prove in life is your love of God and helping others. Anyone that can't see that has proven themselves to be unworthy of your time because why would you spend your life with someone that can't tell the difference between a diamond and dirt?”

-- Shannon L. Alder

So, what in God's good name do I know about this subject that makes me an expert?  Nothing, if I had been an expert I wouldn't have spent 25 years in a one-sided marriage.  I wouldn't have ended up fighting a battle in court, I wouldn't have put my children through all of it, and I wouldn't have wasted a third of my life with someone who never really gave a tinker's damn about me regardless of my feelings for her.  But, I also wouldn't trade loving her for all the tea in China.  

Oh, hell no.  I am certainly no expert, but I have learned that my life is the result of decisions I make, good or bad.  And, by admitting to myself that the blame for those decisions is mine alone, I have come to the realization that, sometimes, it is better for me, and for all involved, to simply walk away.  Or, you can spend a fairly good slice of your life allowing someone to destroy your happiness, and helping them do it.  Either way, your choices determine your happiness and the happiness of those around you for which you truly care about and love.

I am a complicated person with a simple life, and I am the reason for everything that ever happened to me.

-- Charlotte Eriksson

I know the excuse I used for staying in my one-sided, loveless marriage, was my fear of losing everything.  I feared the a societal judgment of failure, as well as having to risk making another bad decision by ever again letting anyone else close enough to me to destroy my life and the lives of those around me.  There was also the egotistical Sicilian upbringing that told me I could make this work if I just throw enough emotion into it; sooner or later love will win out.  Okay, I finally realize this was like trying to stop flowing lava by pissing on it, but sometimes you do crazy stuff while to save the village, when it makes more sense to just build another one.  

I also realized I won't always succeed in life, and that losing is simply a lesson.  Failure is a part of life, and I had to learn to embrace it or I would never be happy.

“One day, someone will walk in your life, make you feel special about yourself, love you in your simplicity and your doubts, laugh with you, cry with you, show you the way and simply leave. What remains are just memories to cherish. Don't suffer in silence because it's over; smile because it happened.”

-- Kevin Keenoo

The best one can hope for in this life is to surround one's self with people who make you laugh.  Everyone has issues, you can't escape them, nor should you try.  You have a choice of whether to buy into those issues, however.  You also have the choice to walk away by showing them what happiness is capable of.  Forget about the bad and focus on the good.  Love people who treat you right, and pray for those that don't.  Life really is too damned short to waste fighting against the inevitable. 

I found what falling down and having to get back up was all about.  I discovered how to live and be happy.  I also learned how to love people who don't treat me right, and how to pray for them to learn to love themselves, and others.  I also learned how to walk away, to pick and choose my battles, and not to fight things and people over which I have no control.  By doing all of this, I feel I have learned to see the beauty in everything, and everyone.

I have learned to see this beauty, even as I walk away.

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Next lesson, please.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."