My Sunday Thought for January 3, 2016: Just Walk Away

"Nice, to the point, and so true. I just wish I knew how to deal with, or let go, those in my life that brings me sadness and clouds my happiness......"

-- JV

There comes a time when one has to throw up their hands in surrender at trying to deal with those whose only mission would seem to be clouding our happiness.  Sometimes they aren't even aware they're doing it and even in their denial they can manage to magnify the drama several fold.  There are also times when we might be the cause of drama to another and, instead of being honest with themselves, and you, by putting voice to it and walking away from the situation, they prefer to make both of you wallow in the misery of it all.  We can have our happiness clouded and we can cloud someone else's.  One can be at fault or both can share the blame, either way sometimes it is best just to walk away.  Simply walking away can be a wakeup call, for everyone involved. 

With fools, there is no companionship. Rather than to live with men who are selfish, vain, quarrelsome, and obstinate, let a man walk alone.

-- Buddha

Some will find reason to ridicule your action of walking away.  This usually comes from those that aren't involved in it.  It is very easy for others to armchair quarterback a situation than for them to take the field of battle and get themselves dirty.

Some will try using their own abilities at dealing with similar situations as their reason to berate you for your actions.  Remember that these people who find reason to find fault with you are, themselves, lacking.  They stand in judgement of you, and it is your choice to stand there and take it or tell them to bugger off so you can walk toward a chance at happiness.  When you choose to walk away from the shit in your life, choose to walk away from all the shit in your life, including those that judge you.

“The only love you have to prove in life is your love of God and helping others. Anyone that can't see that has proven themselves to be unworthy of your time because why would you spend your life with someone that can't tell the difference between a diamond and dirt?”

-- Shannon L. Alder

So, what in God's good name do I know about this subject that makes me an expert?  Nothing, if I had been an expert I wouldn't have spent 25 years in a one-sided marriage.  I wouldn't have ended up fighting a battle in court, I wouldn't have put my children through all of it, and I wouldn't have wasted a third of my life with someone who never really gave a tinker's damn about me regardless of my feelings for her.  But, I also wouldn't trade loving her for all the tea in China.  

Oh, hell no.  I am certainly no expert, but I have learned that my life is the result of decisions I make, good or bad.  And, by admitting to myself that the blame for those decisions is mine alone, I have come to the realization that, sometimes, it is better for me, and for all involved, to simply walk away.  Or, you can spend a fairly good slice of your life allowing someone to destroy your happiness, and helping them do it.  Either way, your choices determine your happiness and the happiness of those around you for which you truly care about and love.

I am a complicated person with a simple life, and I am the reason for everything that ever happened to me.

-- Charlotte Eriksson

I know the excuse I used for staying in my one-sided, loveless marriage, was my fear of losing everything.  I feared the a societal judgment of failure, as well as having to risk making another bad decision by ever again letting anyone else close enough to me to destroy my life and the lives of those around me.  There was also the egotistical Sicilian upbringing that told me I could make this work if I just throw enough emotion into it; sooner or later love will win out.  Okay, I finally realize this was like trying to stop flowing lava by pissing on it, but sometimes you do crazy stuff while to save the village, when it makes more sense to just build another one.  

I also realized I won't always succeed in life, and that losing is simply a lesson.  Failure is a part of life, and I had to learn to embrace it or I would never be happy.

“One day, someone will walk in your life, make you feel special about yourself, love you in your simplicity and your doubts, laugh with you, cry with you, show you the way and simply leave. What remains are just memories to cherish. Don't suffer in silence because it's over; smile because it happened.”

-- Kevin Keenoo

The best one can hope for in this life is to surround one's self with people who make you laugh.  Everyone has issues, you can't escape them, nor should you try.  You have a choice of whether to buy into those issues, however.  You also have the choice to walk away by showing them what happiness is capable of.  Forget about the bad and focus on the good.  Love people who treat you right, and pray for those that don't.  Life really is too damned short to waste fighting against the inevitable. 

I found what falling down and having to get back up was all about.  I discovered how to live and be happy.  I also learned how to love people who don't treat me right, and how to pray for them to learn to love themselves, and others.  I also learned how to walk away, to pick and choose my battles, and not to fight things and people over which I have no control.  By doing all of this, I feel I have learned to see the beauty in everything, and everyone.

I have learned to see this beauty, even as I walk away.

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Next lesson, please.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Creative Writing - The Challenge of Opening a Window to the Soul

If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn’t matter a damn how you write.

– Somerset Maugham (1874-1965), playwright, novelist

 Note: Study the photos shown above.  There will be a challenge, for some of you, at the end of the post.

Somerset Maugham is right, of course, "it doesn't matter a damn how you write."  What matters is that you write.  Many of our most famous artistic works come from the hearts of those ill-educated in the art form they practice.  Many are self-taught.  They create from their heart, their life experiences, and deep a feeling for the subject at hand.  

I love to write.  I especially enjoy my novels because I do very little work on the front end.  I put pen to paper and just let the adventure flow.  I don't want to know where my characters are headed; I want to be as surprised as my reader.  I want to enjoy the journey, the mystery, and the conclusion which will write itself. 

I was always an average student when it came to grammar and writing.  Reading was not a pastime until I picked up Doc Savage, The Man of Bronze, an adventure novel set in the early 1930s.  For a kid of 11 in the early 1960s this was heady stuff.  200 plus Doc Savage adventures later, I was hooked on reading.  It was twenty-two years with military intelligence that got me hooked on writing.

I've had comments on my writing, some good, a few bad, and all pretty much constructive.  People have read my posts, some have read my two unpublished novels, many seem amazed at how quickly I can pound something out and keep it interesting, considering I have no formal schooling as a writer.  I have to say that any formal education to write would have spoiled the pastime for me.  I get bored easily.  

Although I was an avid reader, writing escaped me until I was almost 17 and recovering from a motorcycle accident, my leg in traction, and bedridden in hospital for a couple of months.  My parents, not wanting my lackluster attempts at public education to suffer more even of a setback, hired a tutor to bring me lessons; oh, joy. She could have been pretty, but she was, instead, a skinny older woman that smelled of mothballs.  She was also the best thing that ever came into my life, educationally, up to that point.

She brought me a black and white photo of a gorilla, cropped from lower chest up, behind the bars of a cage.  She told me to write a short story about the photo.  Of course she meant the photo, not the subject in the photo, but I still had not learned to focus on instructions.  My bad.  

A couple of days later presented the tutor with 25 pages of handwritten manuscript; a story of captivity and freedom, of a simian king, an ape, a higher primate, a captive not graced with the courtesy of slavery, an animal in a gage.  I told the story of an intelligent gorilla which sat quietly, day after day, chewing straw, watching everything, and missing little.  I told the ease of his escape, the mercy shown toward his thoughtless captors, and his extreme joy during the short lived freedom before he was put down by a tracker's bullet.  After spending a couple of months of captivity in a hospital bed with bars for sides and my leg trussed up in shackles of sorts, I suppose related with the 800 pound lug as a kindred spirit.  

And what of the tutor's opinion, you ask?  The old girl gave me an "A" and called it a "moving tale."  Silly woman, even I knew apes don't have tales.

I think of writing as a window to the soul of the author.  I certainly hope that everything I write reflects a large part of who I am.  If you write from your heart it keeps it interesting, if not for the reader at least for the author.  Why did I write two novels over 400 pages long if I had no intent on publishing?  I didn't have a book to read; I was bored.  I write because I want to, not because I have to.  I write because I am driven to do so by... well, myself.

I hear from people how they wish they could write.  I hear them ask how I do it.  My answer to them is the same each time - pick up a pen and begin!  I say to use a pen because you will find yourself scribbling notes day and night as you get into it.  You will fill spiral notepads with the quick drafts of story which you will relish expanding upon at the keyboard.  And you will learn to live with the embarrassment of sapping your head up in a restaurant as you experience those "Aha!" moments when the dam of writer's block gives way to a flood of chapters.

So, let's get to the challenge.  The challenge is for all of you who think you can't write a stitch.  There is no first prize, no winner or loser.  Everyone who takes on the challenge will realize themselves as winners.  

I do recommend use of spellcheck, grammar check (if available), and do try to use paragraphs and punctuation, if possible, as it does get tedious reading several pages of a run on thoughts and sentences.  I will endeavor to edit the work, with you, if it becomes necessary.

Instructions:  

1. From the three photos you were supposed to be studying, above, choose the one that you haven't been able to stop thinking about.  This may not be the one you have chosen, but it may be the one you need to choose.
2. Don't think too much about a story line.  Pick up a pen and begin writing.  Name the characters and set the scene as you go.  Enjoy the spontaneous creativity of your own mind as you become intimate with your characters, and the emotions you feel as your story unfolds.
3. Length is entirely up to you, it is your story.

When you are finished, you have three choices:

1. You can send me the story and I will post it, or not, as you wish.  
2. You can ask for my comments, regardless of whether you opt to post.  
3. Or you can keep the story for yourself with the knowledge that you have written... something, which is the entire point.   I hope, if you choose this option, you will at least comment of your experiences writing the tale, which will be of immense interest, if only to me.  

My ultimate desire is that you will opt to share your story, your experiences, and all of our constructive comments which may come your way.  I also hope you will tell why the photo you chose "spoke" to you, why you chose that photo over the other two.  My desire is that you have some fun, as I always do... when writing for you.

Stories, comments, and other responses can be sent to: tolerantpastor@gmail.com 

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

   

The Sage

Is this all there is? I have lived long and hard upon this Earth, by the grace of God, and am left asking myself, is this all there is? I have fought in three wars, and battled cancer. I have buried my wife, both of my children, and placed my granddaughter in her grave just this morning, God rest her soul. I have outlived all of my friends, too. Every morning I awake once more to a body that hurts, reminding me of age and careless moments in life. I find, each morning, that I am still alive. I find each morning that I am alone. I ask God, each morning, is this all there is?

Is there no more? Is it enough I have lived long and hard upon this Earth, and I have partied like there is no tomorrow? Is it enough I have lived and loved, raised children and grandchildren, and have memories for several more lifetimes because of my family and friends? And, now that I am alone, I must ask, is there no more?

The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. When one door closes, another door opens. As this life comes to an end, as this path approaches another fork, there is the mystery of what adventure lies around the next bend.

Have no regrets of the life lived; it has been preparation for all that lies ahead. If you have not lived fully, if you have not found faith, if love has escaped you, again, let not your heart be troubled. Another chance to excel awaits you in the next life and the numerous lives after that. It is really not about the destination, for what awaits us there will always be there, when we eventually arrive. Immerse yourself in the present journey, and let loose the bonds of anticipation.  

Live for today and there will be an eternity of rest tomorrow, or the day after.  With any luck, and God's good grace, tomorrow never comes.

Online Ministry "Friends" and "Followers"

When you run an online business, you do so hoping that your bottom line, your profit, grows exponentially.  It is, after all, a business.  Spirituality, religious belief, and faith, however, are not a business.  Some televangelists have tried very hard to make it one, a business, without admitting to their flock the hidden agenda behind their ministries - profits.

I think televangelists, for the most part, prey on the weak minded among us, those without hope, and those looking for salvation in all the wrong places.  There are priests, ministers, and pastors, which also fall prey, through their own choice or that of the parent church, to asking for money from those that can barely afford to give or would be better off receiving.  How sad for their congregation and for the ministers that they, although their heart may have started in the right place, will face judgment for their greed, usury, and/or hypocrisy.  My golden rule is, if they ask for money - run!  I think, once they take the lion's portion for "costs," very little good will be accomplished from what's left.  Better to directly affect change than to rely on some organization to do what people would be better off, in the eyes of their God, doing themselves.  

Online entrepreneur and blogger, Gary Vaynerchuk, made a statement that has stuck in my mind.  I know he is addressing online business but, I think, it really speaks to the mindset behind organized religion:

"It’s not the number of followers you have or “likes” you get, it’s the strength of your bond with your followers that indicates how much anyone cares about what you have to say. In this game, the one with the most real relationships wins."

-- Gary Vaynerchuk, Entrepreneur

The difference between business and religion is the proffered product and desired outcome.  Business offers a product for sale.  Competing businesses hope their product is better than others so their business will grow, and if it isn't better they will lower their price to entice the consumer to buy from them.  This is part of the "game" Gary speaks to.

Faith in God should never be a business, nor should it be looked upon as a game.  There is no better product than God, and giving money will not purchase the product.  You cannot get a second one for free if you just pay additional shipping and handling.  Doesn't it bother anyone that Holy Scripture is for sale at your local bookstore?  God has been relegated to a product on a bookstore shelf.  There are Christian stores aimed specifically at bilking billions of dollars out of your faith in God.  And every one of these profit mongers will compound their sin by lying to you about the intent, while we continue to have poor and homeless.  Have you seen the mansions the evangelists live in?  Seen the car they drive, or are driven in?  Seen the size of the "church" that has been built for the greater glory?  Seen the Vatican, and the countless works of art therein?  And yet the poor are still poor, the sick still sick, and the hungry and homeless, well... you get the idea.

Gary's quote speaks to spirituality, or faith, and not religion (aka, business) in one aspect:  "It’s not the number of followers you have or “likes” you get, it’s the strength of your bond with your followers that indicates how much anyone cares about what you have to say."  The rest of his quote I leave for business entrepreneurs, churches, and the evangelists to argue over, since faith isn't a game and everyone's a winner, if they just pay attention.  Christ spoke to people about what God wanted them to hear.  Christ didn't give them what they wanted to hear; He gave them what they needed to hear.  He spoke a truth to form a bond with those that would follow, and then He left it up to them to care about what He had to say.  How much they cared, about what he had to say, determined the strength of the bond, not a church, not a synagogue, not a temple or mosque, and not money.

God said to Isaiah: “Go and tell this people: ‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’ Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed” 

-- Isaiah 6:9-10

I started down my path with several precepts in mind.  Accept no money, as this would make me no better than the religious carpet baggers that surround me.  Do not preach, because no one can be certain which message is right.  And, since everyone seems to think they have the "answer," be tolerant of other spiritual philosophies and faiths.

Many have asked about donating to my ministry, and my answer is to ask them, "Why?"  If you have the desire to do good things, then do good things.  These are the acts of kindness God wants you to do, not me.  I cannot do the task God has set before you.  Many have also commented at how I have a way of "speaking" to them.  Where this might play to a person's ego, I find it humbling to know I have touched some lives in a constructive way.

Unfortunately, there are still some, my League of the Perpetually Offended, that find it necessary to try baiting me into arguments instead of constructive conversation.  These I have learned to ignore for the simple reason that there is nothing I can say to change the thorny path their heart travels, this is a change they must initiate, for it is only through their own conscientious efforts they will find their true path to our final destination.  Tolerance is a word they recognize, don't fully understand, and rarely, if ever, exercise as a tangible gift to others around them.

When folks are on this path, they remain in a state of denial.  They constantly shift blame because everything is always someone else's fault.  They don't want to hear the truth because that means they will have to accept some responsibility for their own failures.  And God, if they acknowledge one, is the product of their own twisted desires to be in a constant state of forgiveness for any ill they may do unto others.  They are truly sadomasochists that enjoy inflicting themselves on others as much as they enjoy the agony of their own lives.  Their goal is to drag the rest of us into their world, just so they can expel us... for whatever reason suits them at any given time.

People can offer advice, people can offer a hand up, but if someone doesn't do their own works they will never understand, enjoy the fruits of their own labors, or truly find their path to salvation.  It is a path they can only find through a personal relationship with their spirituality.  No other can earn passage into heaven for them.  No priest, imam, minister, rabbi, or other can pave the path you must travel.  The path they offer is paved with good intentions, and we all know where that path leads.

Friends and followers; are they truly?  Is it only through the strength of our bond that they pay any attention to what is said?  I guess I would have to ask why a bond has to be so strong in order to understand a message that is so simple; why people must give money, payment, to excuse themselves from doing the work God wants from them; why they think a church is any substitution for a personal relationship with their supreme deity; why they let other sinners damn them to hell for all eternity when those sinners judge because they don't even understand the philosophy and teachings in their own scripture.  To these "interpreters," scripture issues an "I'm right and you're wrong" card, to wit:

"So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is from God, that we might understand the gifts bestowed on us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who possess the Spirit. The unspiritual man does not receive the gifts of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned."

-- 1 Corinthians 2:11-14

In other words, the way I read this, all you have to say is you must be believed.  People must believe you because you are taught by the Spirit which makes you infallible in "interpreting spiritual truths to those who possess the Spirit."  Sounds like radical terrorist Islam, to me.  If you don't believe that I am God's messenger, then... off with your head!

The problem I see with these, seemingly egotistical, "interpreters," is the simplicity of God's message to us.  If you already have the spirit, why would you need to have the words interpreted to begin with?  As is stated, "Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is from God, that we might understand the gifts bestowed on us by God."  If this is true then any need for interpreters is unfounded since it is only the unspiritual man that does not receive the gifts of the Spirit of God "and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned."  So, why would one find the need to impart spiritual truths to those who already possess the spirit?  To think one can interpret any better for me what God meant when He gave all of us the Spirit, would seem a tad egotistical, or would they have us believe God misspoke only to us?  "What God really meant to say was..."  God made a mistake?

The strength of the bond any interpreter has with you, should be tempered by the moral righteousness within the interpretation you have asked for.  If the interpreter, the priest, or other religious or spiritual leader, interprets something to mean you must follow an immoral path, like raping women, killing children, and setting living, caged, captives on fire as a message, it is time to look for another path.  When you come before God you cannot use the excuse that you were just following insane, sociopathic orders of someone who said they spoke for God. 

Again, the message really isn't that difficult. 

I'd like to rewrite the quote by Gary Vaynerchuk to read for the spiritual of us, as well:

"It’s not the number of followers Jesus has or “likes” He gets, it’s the strength of His bond with His followers that indicates how much anyone cares about what He has to say. In this "game" for salvation or damnation, the people with the most real, personal relationship with their God wins."

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Attitude Adjustment

Note to the reader:  This was originally posted on Christmas Eve 2015 as "My Sunday Thought for December 27, 2015: Attitude Adjustment."  Between December 24th and 27^th, Poland visited this post over 375 times. Poland has always been in my "Top 10" countries for page views worldwide, but this number was beyond believable.  I'm not sure what they found so interesting, but I was happy to see my readership increase.  If my readers in Poland would leave some comments I might understand if this is more than a fluke, or an attempt to hack.

The fact that this particular post garnered top readership of all my other offerings, came as of no surprise to me.  What did come as a surprise, however, was the fact that most of the audience seem to be accessing the post from Poland.  This would not be unusual over a significant span of time, but Poland was accessing this post over twenty times per day for a couple of weeks.  Thinking something might be amiss; I took down the post and republished it a few days later.  This seemed to end whatever was going on but, unfortunately, the affair might have given this post an undeserved top position as my “most viewed” of all 762 I have written.  If asked, I would have to say Friends along Our Path... is actually my top post, in my humble opinion.

This being said, all of this takes nothing away from the importance I place on this post.  Were it not for that Polish 'bug' I feel this very well may have attained my “most viewed” ranking, anyway.  And, perhaps, there may have been a cadre of Polish readers who just liked it enough to share the link throughout Poland.  I wish I were that interesting.  If it was, I would probably be making money at this.

As this post enjoys the second highest readership for my blog, I have updated, checked the grammar and spelling, and ensured the post is a reflection of my current attitudes, adjusted or not, and decided to repost it as part of my New Year celebration for 2019. If you have read it before, I invite you to review and comment as you see fit.  If this is your first foray into the post, it isn't that long or, I hope, that boring.

Since this is, once again, the New Year for 2019, I thank you all for your continued interest!  And, for Poland:  Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku, do naszej rodziny w Polsce!  (Happy New Year, to our family in Poland!)

 *********************************************************

Is it hard for me to believe I have an Army Airborne "grunt" for a friend?  Not really.  Nor is it unusual for me to find camaraderie among the active duty, retired, and veteran military frequenting my favorite local cigar bar a boutique cigar and a local microbrew.  We are the Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, and Sea Bees that signed on the dotted line, volunteering to put boot to ass for corps, God, country, mom's apple pie, and that girl next door.

There is something about being a part of a greater military family.  I have found the military personnel who understand this also recognize the US Marine Corps "Core Values" of honor, courage, and commitment, as values for all branches of service, and also strive to be "always faithful" to these values.  They pledge their life to "God, Corps, and Country" in the protection of freedom and liberty.  Codes, mottos, credos and such, dictate who we are as military personnel, who we will always be and, in deference and thanks to our brave Marine Corps brothers, and sisters, for allowing us to share in their pride, what we, United States military personnel, have pledged our lives to be - always faithful! 

"The Marines don’t have any race problems. They treat everybody like they’re black."

-- Gen. Daniel “Chappie” James Jr., USAF, circa 1970

Yet, even with all this, military personnel have struggled with moral issues.  I cite the acceptance of blacks in the military and Japanese-American and Navajo units in WWII, as evidence.  Blacks have served in every conflict since the beginning of the Revolutionary War, and Japanese-Americans and Navajos volunteered in World War II.  All these units served with distinction and became some of the most highly decorated.  Did they fight for acceptance, for their country, or for both?  If you fight for one aren't you fighting for the other?  We have come a long way since the first African-American four-star, USAF Gen. "Chappie" James, Jr., made his 1970's remark, "The Marines don’t have any race problems. They treat everybody like they’re black."  The military has beaten down racial issues and thought they had a handle on gender equality until the gender line blurred.  Now it would seem we still have a significant journey ahead of us, Chappie.

But, what did we learn through it all?  What did we take away from this growth process?  Today we are at odds with women in combat roles, gays in the military, and gender dysphoria and identity.  Have we learned nothing?  Why does it take throwing everyone into life and death situations where they have to rely on each other for their very survival, regardless of who and what they are?  When do we finally move past petty bullshit and realize we are all fighting for freedom and security?

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.

-- Sen. Barry Goldwater (1909–1998)

I remember, as a kid, hearing about gays, homosexuals, being accepted to the San Francisco Police Department.  One officer's comment stuck with me my entire life.  If he had to have a partner, relying on them to cover his back, he'd rather have a gay that isn't going to cut and run than a heterosexual coward.  It matters little what you look like, your religion, or your sexual preference.  What really matters are your core values, what you are willing to bring to the table when the chips are down, what kind of person you are, your ethics, your patriotism. 

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.

-- Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988

Women in combat have always been a point of contention.  The fact that we believe women cannot do the job of a fighting man has great bearing on whether either of them come back alive from combat.  However, if a woman can prove herself a viable asset by passing the same rigorous tests the men have to perform, then I say let them do the damned job - they have, at that point, earned the right to jump and die.

I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce.

-- Margaret Mead

Just recently, the United States authorized women for combat roles.  We have tried to go down this road before when they eased the requirements so women could physically endure the testing.  I don't really believe easing requirements is what women were after, to have requirements lessened so they can have a "free pass" and die unprepared.  I don't think a woman wants to find out she wasn't really fit for the position as she faces a no-win situation during a battle.  I think she'd like to be told, honestly, that she doesn't make the grade before she eats a bullet due to her lack of ability.  And, let's be honest, if we're looking for women to go toe-to-toe with men in fighting roles, wouldn't a seriously butch lesbian be a better possible choice?  Just sayin'.

We need to show the ladies the same respect we offer men.  We need to hold them to the same standards required to accomplish the job before some lawyer for the League of the Perpetually Offended starts to piss and moan about fairness until men, also, only have to meet the relaxed requirements put forth for women.  Our society has become all about moving backward, not forward.  Where will these lax requirements leave our fighting force?  Oh, yeah, that's right, we're now handing out participation trophies.  There are no winners, bests, or number ones.  Damn, my bad.  We can all now feel secure in our participation in a war, screw winning it.  We've become so good at taking a hill and giving it right back.  No wonder we have a problem defeating terrorist Islam.  God bless America, or God help us?  I vote we not try to make this shot at women in combat be the same joke as the last attempt.

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'

-- Elayne Boosler, comedian

One of the reasons for not wanting women in combat has been the thought men would be overprotective of them to the point of jeopardizing the given mission.  I'm not sure a fighting man would be any more or less concerned for a woman's welfare than any other fellow soldier in the field during a firefight, but if they are, I would think that's a good thing.  We always say we fight for mom, apple pie, and the girl next door, well, that girl is in the fight with you now, in the foxhole fighting for her life and her comrades.  This question one really needs to be concerned with is if she would be any less concerned for the men she serves with when the shit hits the fan?

Women risk inappropriate sexual conduct by the men they serve with.  Women risk more when they go into combat - they risk rape and death at the hands of the enemy.  When you are up against an enemy who, per their own scripture, are supposed to treat women with respect, this would be a good thing.  When the enemy has forsaken their holy scripture, however, any rules of moral decency are out the door.  For a woman to put herself at this additional risk voluntarily should be a source of pride for all who serve with her, not a reason to stop her from serving.  It is bravery over and above those of her comrades and is what serving one's country is all about.

"For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty... extraordinary heroism and selflessness above and beyond the call of duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service."

-- Excerpts from the Medal of Honor Citation

Recently, I had the misfortune to witness retired military show prejudice toward the gay community.  What I witnessed was an attitude that reflected an ability for the retired individual to turn a blind eye to any physical injustice they might see perpetrated against a gay person.  This saddens me, as it should sadden all who serve to protect.  Once we start down this road it is easy to fall into a habitual judgment of others.  For a military member, tasked with fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves, this is a violation of the moral code and oath the swore to uphold.  We are supposed to rise above petty judgment; we are supposed to hold ourselves to a higher standard of conduct.  Do we have to like it?  No, but we are supposed to suck it up and continue to put boot to ass in order to protect the rights of others as guaranteed by the Constitution and our own, moral, military code of conduct.  Life isn't always fair, and military personnel, more than most, should understand this.  We're supposed to fight for people who can't fight for themselves, not stand in judgment over them.  We're supposed to protect the rights and lives of everyone we are ordered to, not pick and choose. 

"Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated." 

-- Coretta Scott King

Some soldiers think, once they leave service, they can go back to being the same slovenly, dumbass, bigoted, judgmental, immoral, sinning, slacker, they were before they joined up.  What a giant step backward this is from the training to produce a finely tuned life, freely given in the service of others.  When I hear any military veteran voice heartfelt sentiments contrary to the code they have lived and stood by, it is saddening to those of us who expect more.  Is this, also, a judgment?  I suppose it is, but it is a judgment that every soldier should expect and welcome from their military comrades.  We stand in judgment not of the people we fight for, but rather of the people we fight with.  We are held up to a different light of scrutiny by our brothers and sisters in arms, in order to ensure our conduct is above and beyond, to ensure our code is followed, and to ensure we all come back alive or, at the very least, be assured we will be brought back with honor and not left behind on the field of battle.

It is about respect.

The military way of life is an attitude adjustment.  For some, the adjustment changes their lives forever.  For others it is like tuning an engine when the timing is always a bit off; no matter how much effort is put into them, they just never seem to get it and never seem to run right.  For those of us who comprehend, learn, and understand, it is a life changing experience that will follow us back into the civilian world.

Who around you is a proud veteran?  Well, who around you looks and acts a cut above?  Who ensures their shoes are polished, dress shirts ironed and creased, and gig line is straight?  Who turns toward the flag at the playing of our National Anthem, stands to attention and salutes, and who cries at the funeral of a fallen soldier, one they never knew, giving them a heartfelt salute in farewell?  American soldiers never truly retire but remain examples of patriotism and the best of America.  They are "walking attitude adjustments" waiting for the next call to give all in service for mom, apple pie, and the people of this great nation.  We remain, forever, standing atop the imaginary wall, daring the enemy to cross the red line.

This Sunday think about the sacrifices of the first responders and the soldiers of our country.  Instead of hampering them, help them.  Instead of hindering their desire for service, show support for their patriotism.  And, above all, try to show a little respect.  If they are what they profess to be, they'll already be showing you the same.  It isn't that they require respect, but don't you think they deserve it?  

After all, they are volunteering to die for you.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Happy Day of Christ's Birth!

Let's face it, Christmas is getting a bad rap and it's our own damned fault.  Google Christmas, if you don't believe me, and look at the roots, definition, and sin surrounding what we Christians hold dear.  Understand here, that I love celebrating the birth of Jesus regardless of the day we choose to do it.  I grew up understanding that Christmas was a celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus, regardless of these alternate definitions and beliefs of origin.  And, isn't what we believe the point, or perhaps, and more importantly, why we believe it?

People label things for a reason and then time buries the reason with forgotten history.  Perhaps Christmas was a Catholic attempt to supersede pagan ritual, or perhaps to lead the righteous down an evil path of idolatry, but the whole point is, up until now, it failed.  The only people concerned about the name of Christmas are the anti-Christians, the Christian extremists and, of course, the League of the Perpetually Offended, whom we all know are probably offending themselves for being offended for any perceived offense.

We could name a celebration of Christ anything.  To quote Hillary Clinton, "What does it, at this point, really matter?"  As long as we know in our heart what we are celebrating, so does God.  I think God would be more offended at "good" Christians passing judgment in his stead, than anyone else's heartfelt attempt at love, forgiveness, caring, understanding, and tolerance. You know, basically everything Jesus stood for.  But, we are just people, and as such will go for the easy low road in any situation.  Evil will win out because it is so much easier to believe ill of our fellow man, to turn them out, than to show any compassion or understanding, and I'm getting damned tired of the "holier than thou" telling me I'm a sinner.  How dare they judge!  But, as always, I'm willing to take the high road despite their efforts to corrupt faith. 

So, I vote we use December the 25th as the day we celebrate the birth of the Christ child.  We can call it... Christ's Birthday!  The night before can be referred to as Christ's Birthday Eve.  Our youth will love it as they can shorten it to CB and CBE, Christ's B-Day, Christ's BE, or Jesus Be, or JCBe.

If Christians really want to celebrate the birth of our Savior, stop making His birth an opportunity to be offended.  Stop worshiping material idols... you know, all that crap we purchase for under the tree to give to those that, half the time, don't really want it much less need it.  If we want a ceremony of giving, let's all try doing it at our local shelter, food bank, or soup kitchen.  We have 364 other days in a year to show friends and family what they mean to us by giving them lots of gifts, or coal.

I guess my word to all of those offended by people wishing everyone a "Merry Christmas" is that it must really suck for you to know we love you anyway, and forgive you; to know that our capacity for tolerance and love seems to outstrip your meager attempt at hypocrisy as we try demonstrating to God, for at least one glorious day per year, that we are actually better than we act the other 364.  But, we can't dwell on any of this because, as any good Christian knows, it isn't our place to judge another's servant.

I have an idea, if you get the urge to judge another, take a step back, take a breath, close your eyes and say to yourself, "Not my circus, not my monkey."  Well, that might not be a good idea for most of us.  We'll be so busy reciting this we'll never get anything else accomplished.

It seems I've run out of rant so, in conclusion...

Remember the year's past events this holiday season. Remember that, unless they’re too stupid to respect the law, all lives matter, regardless of what the naysayers might try to make weak minds believe. All lives matter, regardless of skin color, religion, gender, or sexual preference. Remember that some poor are also incapacitated, mentally or physically, and unable to hold a job. Remember, also, many of the homeless poor really do want to work, if they only had an address to give an employer. And, remember our brave men and women, doing what their country asks of them, putting themselves in harm's way, standing on the fence, patrolling our neighborhoods, fighting our fires, willing to die so you can have the right to be offended at the drop of a hat.

God bless us all, and God bless the United States of America!

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Post 500: My Top 10 Posts

"It’s not the number of followers you have or “likes” you get, it’s the strength of your bond with your followers that indicates how much anyone cares about what you have to say. In this game, the one with the most real relationships wins."

-- Gary Vaynerchuk, Entrepreneur

I have readers that think it's enough to read the intro to my posts to get the gist of where I'm taking it, and they're probably right... probably.  It's when these same people are critical of what I write that problems arise, knowing that they are too lazy to do me the courtesy of reading the post prior to commenting.  It is pretty easy to tell who reads and who doesn't by whether they get it, or not.  For some, though, the mere fact they don't get it is evidence that they really do get it.  I suppose, for them, they would be in denial of their "Aha!" moment.  How many times do each of us deny, outwardly, that which we know in our hearts to be true?  How many of these times do we really think others have bought into our bullshit denials?  Just a thought.

Gary Vaynerchuk is correct in the quote, above, when he says, "it’s the strength of your bond with your followers that indicates how much anyone cares about what you have to say."  Gary is an entrepreneur and, as such, for him business is a "game" to be won.  Thank God I don't have to worry about my blog making money.  For me, this is not some game to be won; it is not me against them.  For me, if I can help even one person along their path, I have accomplished something great.  After 499 posts I can say, with forced humility, I have received many comments of thanks, or agreement, which keep me on my own path.  I have also garnered the occasional constructive criticism, which keeps me humble, and lets me know where there is more work to do.  

One interesting aspect I have found about some of the critics of what I write is... they don't write.  Personally, I don't think many critics actually excel at what they critique.  It reminds me of the old adage, "Those that can, do.  Those that can't, teach."  But, with critics, I find their not knowing their ass from a hole in the ground to be a fairly evident shortcoming to their chosen profession.  Most seem intolerant of anything they don't personally like, and their ego helps to focus on their own transparency.  

Sometimes it's not what you say that matters, it's what you don't say.

- Spongebob Squarepants

I got into the habit, some time back, of trying restaurants which food critics gave bad marks.  I could almost guarantee myself that the meal would be exceptional.  It was the place with high marks one might better avoid.  If you don't have something nice to say, better to just shut the hell up and save face.  Luckily, my critics have been few.  This has allowed me to know them and dictate to whom I will pay the respect of response, and to whom I will simply allow my other readers to form their own opinion about.

I write these posts as much for me as I do to leave some legacy behind for my children, grandchildren, and friends.  I enjoy the task, and I think that's important.  You should love what you do in life, as much as you love the people you do it with, or for.

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

-- Mother Teresa

For my 500th post, I went back through the other 499 to find those which seemed to get the most hits.  I suppose these are my "Top 10 Hits Parade" for the blog.  Four of the ten were from the weekly My Sunday Thought series, but the subjects were varied.  I am always surprised by which post will get mass attention, as it never seems to be the one I would assume.  But, then, I never for a moment thought Russia would account for my second highest number of hits, or that I would have readers in 60 countries around the world.

As you look through the Top 10, I hope you'll find one you might not have read.  Please feel free to click on the link and see if you can tell why it made the list to begin with.  You will note that I have an eleventh post at the bottom, Congregation for Religious Tolerance.   This post holds the number one position for the most hits, and I suppose that is only right since it is the primary driving force behind why I do this, and it would seem you all agree.  

• Joyful Hands
• Friends Along Our Path 
• "Not my circus, not my monkey"
• The Hypocrisy of Acceptance
• The Holocaust: A Museum for Tolerance
• The Path We Take
• Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
• Correlation of High Religiosity In America with Everything Bad - My Response
• Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign!
• Je Ne Sais Quoi
• Congregation for Religious Tolerance

Thank you all for making these first couple of years, and 500 posts, a meaningful task along my personal path.  I will endeavor to not be repetitive in what I blog, but sin is, fortunately, not as varied or my repetitions would be much less.  I have also tried to keep politics out of the blog, which is also difficult in these times of religious persecution which our leaders either ignore or condone through their inaction.

I invite all of my readers, throughout the world, to contact me with their thoughts or concerns, to offer up "Guest Posts" for possible inclusion here, or to offer up topics which they feel are important to them, or might be important to others, for which they would like my humble input.

Thank you all, again, and my God bless believer and unbeliever alike, in the spirit of love, understanding, and tolerance.

You are my reason, and you constantly take my breath away.

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took,

but how many moments took your breath away.”

-- Shing Xiong 

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

My Sunday Thought for December 20, 2015: Time

But there never seems to be enough time

To do the things you want to do

Once you find them

-- Jim Croce, "Time in a Bottle"

There never seems to be enough time.  Of course, you don't realize this when you're young.  I think realization hits somewhere around the middle of your working life when you realize money can buy you everything, but you still empty.  It's the point you admit that no amount of money can buy your way out of that feeling; the time when you ask, "Is this all there is?"

And then you're old.

Never enough time turns to fears of time running out.  You find yourself wondering if forgetting a name is the onset of Alzheimer's, or just old timers.  You silently pray you never lose your mind, because it seems to be the only true friend you've ever had, though the "silent prayer" would be your admission that God is becoming more and more important as your time here winds down.

Every morning brings a new ache, new reminders of your lifetime of bodily abuse.  Breakfast includes meds and aspirin, coffee, and an occasional dose Elijah Craig when the pain just won't let up.  The face you see in the mirror is familiar, yet older.  The hair is becoming easier to brush as it disappears, and you marvel that you still have all your teeth.

You find the questionnaires at doctor's offices humorous.  Name?  Uh... oh, yeah.  Sex?  Yes, please!  Married?  Not if I can help it.  How is your health?  I'm visiting a doctor, how good can it be?  Do you have muscle aches?  Do you drink alcohol?  Do you smoke? Do you get up at night to urinate?  I'm old, you moron; yes to all.  I like to visit older doctors that actually read these things and ask relevant questions concerning my answers.  It makes me feel like I haven't wasted some precious time better spent actually being seen by him.

I find my life, at this point, is more about walks on the beach and through the park.  I find these walks are more about talking with God and making my "shit" right with the Lord.  I find the Bible less important than the message, and the message so much less complicated than "holy" scripture tries to make it.  Love God, love yourself, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  How can you elaborate on ten simple commandments enough to fill a book?  You come to realize, as you get older, only man could complicate the simple word of God to such an extreme as to create a book of dubious attribution, questionable intent, and countless contradictions requiring even more explanation and interpretation.

Time? Time is still misunderstood. Physicists try to understand it and philosophers try to explain around it. Time continues to march on while we waste it on research into what and why. Even if we understood it, could we change it? I think not. Time is truly the gift of God and the bane of our existence. Time is what we spend learning to be. Time is full of sadness, happiness, mistakes, failures, success, and realization. Time prepares us for what comes after, and reminds us of what went before. Time is something we learn to cherish, and is a cruel taskmaster. Put time in a bottle? I have found I don't have the time to waste on trying.

I would rather spend it with you.

Take some time to think about time and you might find it is time well spent.  Time is never wasted and time is never lost.  Time and again we find the time to do what's right.  Will we ever understand time?

Only time will tell.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."