The Scars We Wear

“Nobody should be judged on their looks. Beauty is not found on the body but in the soul. The only thing the media has done is change the definition of the word. I mean, being attractive may make it easier to catch someone but being kind and loving is how you keep someone. Also, with make up it's like putting on a mask; some masks are creative and fun, most others are just used to cover who you really are up. Be yourself.”

-- Danyon Guthrie-lewis

Many times I've heard a woman cringe over a small scar while proclaiming in a tearful voice, "I look like Frankenstein!"  Well, first of all, I think we finally understand that mistake:  She would look like Henry Frankenstein's monster, not the good doctor.  The actor, Colin Clive, was fairly handsome for his day.  He can rest easy... and in peace.

My mother went through a "scarring" episode when I was much younger, back in the days of the "safety razor."  Safety was all about the razor, not the double-edged blade.  There was nothing safe about the blade that went into the razor until it was actually in the razor.  It was a double-edged scalpel you held on the flat, between thumb and index finger, when loading and unloading the razor.  There were no other uses for this micro-thin blade other than to shave with it, perform surgery, or cut someone's throat.  Committing murder would probably result in your fingers getting sliced up worse than the victim.  

Mom, however, somehow saw this dangerous implement as a feathering tool for her hair, which worked if you didn't put cheekbone meat in the way of it.  A thin half-inch slice later, and the sky fell in.  Oh, the wailing and the crying.  She made such a commotion over how scarred up she was going to look my dad and I had to laugh at the absurdity of it, which didn't make the situation any better.  Women are so touchy, and Men don't take scars too seriously. 

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”

-- Cormac McCarthy, author, playwright, screenwriter

To most men, scars are proof of manhood, something to be shown off or compared sometime after the first six-pack.  For my mother, you'd think the world, as she knew it, was coming to an end.  Thankfully, her insignificant little scar faded to be almost unnoticeable with the help of a few surgical tape sutures used for superficial cuts.  This was a good thing, as she couldn't keep brushing her hair over that cheek forever.

As I've aged, I noticed women tend to take scars less seriously as they age.  Scars become more "proof of life" instead of hidden horrors.  Women also start comparing and showing off their scars to each other, especially when alcohol is involved, and depending on where the scar is located, men are content to sit, watch, smile and shake our heads at the humor of it.

“Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.”

-- Leonard Cohen (1934-2016), singer-songwriter, poet, author

But still, we all tend to take scars much too seriously in this "open-minded" modern world.  As with Frankenstein's monster, we forget beauty is more than just skin deep.  Who we really are is found on the inside, and scars can be a way of bringing that out.  We find that Dr. Frankenstein is the true monster, and that monster which we fear may be more a part of us than we care to admit.  We see outward scars and turn away, many times not even looking past them for the beauty inside.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our lust for some outward beauty, we overlook the fact that this may simply a bandage hiding some hidden, inner scars cut into the psyche as deep by life as by the sharpest blade.  

Most scars can heal with proper treatment.  How we psychologically deal with scars is directly proportional to how ugly they can be.  As ugly as it looks on the outside, the pain on the inside can be many times worse and made more so if we are shunned by those around us who we looked to for fellowship and understanding.  By the same token, someone with great physical beauty can hide severe inner pain requiring as much tenderness and understanding as someone with the most horrific of scars.  Somewhere in-between the two are the rest of us, and perhaps we should count our blessings and learn to be more compassionate.

“I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorder, distortion.”

-- Yohji Yamamoto, fashion designer

None of us are perfect, yet we are all children of God.  As such, we are all beautiful in our own special ways.  Who are we to judge another child of God?  To do so we question God's purpose, God's reason.  Perhaps scars are God's test.  

Perhaps the test is for all of us.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

-- Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), writer, poet

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.