Questioning Parenting, Love, Life, and Wealth

 

“To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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Note to my readers:  My answers garnered 10,813 views last week.  I did the math, since my readership seems to be climbing, and it works out to 562,276 views in a year.  Well, damn.  Who woulda thought?  I just hope the season wasn't the reason, because it looks as if I'm starting out the new year with a bang.  I just hope I can hold onto it.  Thanks to all those who stop in to read my humble offerings.  I am, still and always, humbled by your attention.

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What's the best approach to making sure something never happens again?

Stay as far away from it as possible. After my divorce, I’ve stayed as far away from marriage as possible. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice? Never gonna happen. Sorry ladies.

Is it unreasonable that my daughter expects me to cook her breakfast before school?

No. What’s unreasonable is her having to ask you to do it.

When I’m out in public, I feel like I am constantly stared at. Is there something wrong with me?

I don’t know. Is your fly zipped?

"I could live here," Del said. "No, you couldn't. You'd turn into a coot and hang out at the general store, with your fly down," Lucas said. "You'd be known for goosing middle-aged women. You'd be the town embarrassment." 

-- John Sandford

What is it like for older (retirement age) people moving in with a new love?

Like a younger person moving in with a new love, only the bed stays made. You might check the couch cushions, however. Maybe the dining room table. Been there, done that, always bears repeating… lest we forget.

My friend hates me because I was an ass, how can I rectify this with her?

Rectify? Really? In the same sentence as “ass”? Try a heartfelt apology, and stop acting like a rectum.

Why aren't ugly-looking people rounded up and killed?

Stop running.

“They have a saying, the French, that no woman, can be truly beautiful who is not also sometimes truly ugly.”

-- Alexandra Ripley

What is the best thing to do when a bus driver is kidnapping you by driving you away on the bus?

Run to the emergency door in the very back and jump out, if possible. But a bus with the emergency door flapping open is going to get a lot of attention, especially if you’re waving your arms and acting scared. Or, you can shove a pointed object, like a pencil, into the kidnapper’s ear, eye, or neck. But, you’d better be real sure they’re kidnapping you, or you’ll be on trial for murder.

What are your best wishes for 2022?

That I make it to 2023.

How do you imagine Melania is holding up after Trump’s defeat?

With the disaster that is the new administration? I’d say she’s probably doing very well. After all, she will always carry the moniker of “First Lady,” and Trump will always be known for working his ass off for the American people and being the most transparent President we’ve ever had in press conferences, and “garden moments” for information transfer.  When the current administration finds it necessary to steal all of Trumps accomplishments for the current President, it says a lot about Trump.

“Women are never so strong as after their defeat.”

--  Alexandre Dumas

Does it hurt less what you've lost or what you've never had?

I can’t see hurting over something I never had. Am I misunderstanding the question?

How do you feel now about the condition you were born in?

Dad did four years in the USAF. We were poor, but mom and dad both worked hard at jobs, paid for everything with cash, not credit, made sure I was educated, and brought me up with a solid sense of good moral ethics. I’m not sure that being “better off” would have made me a better person than I turned out to be. 

Can you thank yourself in an acknowledgment when writing?

How selfishly egotistical would that be? No, I don’t think so.

"There is no respect for others without humility in one's self."

-- Henri Frederic Amiel 

Does having enemies mean you are doing good?

It means they are jealous of what you have, which could be the fact that you’re doing good. They could also see you as someone that wants what they have.

Does feeling younger than your actual age have benefits?

Not that I’ve found. I’m 68 and feel like I’m 40, so I try to do things I did when I was 40. Big mistake. I’m keeping the ibuprofen market in business.

I have my basic needs, income, and stability, but I feel like I'm wasting my life if I'm not out there, traveling, creating empires like everyone seems to be doing these days. What constitutes a fulfilled life?

Well, if you feel like you’re "wasting" your life, you really aren’t fulfilled. You define for yourself what a "fulfilled" life is. No one can do it for you because they aren’t you. They don’t really know what you’ve done or been through. Don’t judge yourself by the accomplishments of others. If you feel the need to do more, then go do more.

“Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success, and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results.”

-- Germany Kent

How secret can a secret get?

When it comes to “classifications” the term has to do with the dissemination of the information being kept secret. Who has a “need to know” the information? This is why information can be “For Official Use Only” through to “Top Secret” and then through the caveats attached, No Foreign Dissemination, Single Integrated Operation Plan, Special Compartmentalized Information, etc., etc., ad nauseam, all to control who has a valid need to know the information. It is a tad more convoluted than this, but I’m trying to keep it short and simple.

When I retired from the Intelligence field, I held a Top Secret, SIOP, SCI, etc., etc., clearance. All this meant was, if I had the need to know, I could see the information in those areas up to the level of Top Secret classification. This didn’t mean I couldn’t be cleared to see more, just that this is all I was required to see at the time.

Do you think blood is thicker than water or often friends or more important to you?

It’s situational. If all “blood” has done is screw you, friends can be so much more important.

What is the "meaning of life"? Not the meaning of life but the definition of the phrase "meaning of life".

The definition of the “phase” seems to be: 

“The meaning of life, as we perceive it, is derived from philosophical and religious contemplation of, and scientific inquiries about existence, social ties, consciousness, and happiness. Many other issues are also involved, such as symbolic meaning, ontology, value, purpose, ethics, good and evil, free will, the existence of one or multiple gods, conceptions of God, the soul, and the afterlife.” 

-- Wikipedia, “Meaning of Life”

Is it true that promises aren't always true but grudges always are, why?

Neither is absolute. People break promises, and grudges can be held for the wrong reason. Our perception is only as reliable as our understanding of what we see, hear, and feel. What is true isn’t always true, and facts are only as factual as the information available and the reliability and the hidden agenda of the sources involved.

How often do financially wise people evaluate money matters?

Constantly, which is why they’re financially wise. The is no wisdom in thinking money will take care of itself, or leaving your money matters in the hands of someone else.

Why is wealth used to measure success?

Since, in my opinion, success has nothing to do with wealth, we can chalk it up to society's misunderstanding of terms.

“I’m wealthy because I won the lottery.” No success in this. Pure luck. “I’m wealthy because I achieved my goal of starting a multi-national company.” No success here, just hard work concerning a great idea if the goal is achieved, which it was. 

So, what if you’ve always been exceedingly happy in life? You may not be rich or achieved some hard-earned goal, but you have always been truly happy, regardless of your circumstances. What is this? Success! True success in life!  Show me a person that is so happy, even though they are so poor that they don't have a pot to piss in, even though they work hard to support themselves, and perhaps a family, and I'll show you a successful person. 

If you are truly “successful” in life, everything else is just a goal to be attained.  But, whether you attain the goal or not, you are still going to be exceedingly happy that you made the attempt to achieve the goal.  This is success.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

-- Epictetus

Why is it that I am better at giving advice than receiving advice from others?

Are you above criticism?

Could there be something psychologically wrong with me when it comes to love?

That would depend on what you think is wrong. Love, itself, can be the root cause of many “psychological” problems, like eating disorders, stress, frustration, anger, daydreaming, sado-masochism… but, I digress.

What, specifically, makes you think you have a problem?

Is it normal for my boyfriend to only have female close friends?

If I were you, I would find that very concerning. But, then, I worked for a company employing 300 people and almost all of them were women. Who else was I going to hang with? I think it depends on how he acts with them as opposed to how he dotes on you. If you can’t tell, then I’d be very concerned about you.

The best idea is to sit down with him and discuss your concern. Just that will put him on notice that you are watching. Now, sit back and watch what he does with the “notice.”

“In my experience, when you live with a woman for a long period of time, many of them start to remove what you consider “fun” from your life. It’s like they see your fun as a threat to them. They want your only fun, to be them. Sadly, by that stage, there isn’t much fun left in them, for you.”

-- Robert Black

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questions With Mostly Short Answers

 

“No matter how short or long your journey to your accomplishment is, if you don't begin you can't get there. Beginning is difficult but unavoidable!”

-- Israelmore Ayivor

First, a few long answers:

Which personality traits are more important than intelligence to become successful?

Be as smart as, you think you are, intelligent. Be tenacious, perseverant, inquisitive, and aware. Don’t speak more than you listen, and keep an open mind and an eye on the prize. 

"Nature is not a place to visit. It is home." — Gary Snyder. What do you make of this statement?

This is as right as it is wrong. It is right in that we all come from nature, way back in pre-history. So, nature is, in fact, home to us, as much as where we live now. But, it is wrong in the fact that many of us visit the “home” we grew up in, all the time. Home, whether we speak of now or then, familial or nature, is, in fact, a place to visit. The only way Gary Snyder can truthfully make this statement is if he currently lives in nature. I will bet he simply visits.

Is it possible for someone to have good decision-making capabilities in one subject, but horrible decision-making capabilities in another subject?

Absolutely! I had great decision-making in all of my career choices, but my decision-making fell flat when it came to my marital relationship.

“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.

If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”

-- Deepak Chopra

How would you explain the phrase “management had no universal formula to achieve success”?

Management can’t have what doesn’t exist. There is a general formula to follow and, if everything falls into place, attaining your goal, or what some people mistake for success, might just be achieved. It depends on culture, laws, cost, what you’re willing to put into it, etc., as to how sustainable your goal actually will be, once you attain it.

Success, on the other hand, is much easier to attain. All you have to do is make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances, rich or poor. This is true success, and it may just be the “universal formula” to achieve it.

What is the last time money burned a hole in your pocket?

A few months ago when I sold my silver. I went out a bought a $9,400 golf cart with a digital display and a 400-watt “Bazooka” stereo system so I can drive around town.

Has the number of students failing increased due to covid?

In the United States? Unfortunately, I’d have to say yes, in the face of anything the government might put out to the contrary. Let’s face it, we have university students who point to Texas when asked where Russia is on a map. So much for university criteria for enrollment. Anyone, who actually has a brain in their head, would have to say “self-study” for these people will be a total waste of time.

“Something that always bothered me is that it's easy to go to a school and hear the voices of students who are more affluent or less shy, or teachers who are from unions or students who have a strong position against or in favor of something. But there are a lot of students who are shy, who are more invisible, who do not like to talk to journalists, who do not have ways of reaching the media.”

-- Antônio Gois

I feel this guy is being somewhat distant. Something just feels off. We’ve hung out once but have talked for a week-ish. Should I ask him to hang out? Will I look desperate?

You sound desperate, so why worry about how you look? Yes! Asking him if he’d like to “hang out” would be a normal step. The worst he could say is no, and you’re out nothing but the invitation. My personal view, however, is to follow your feeling that something feels off. Sometimes, psycho serial killers have this effect. Or, maybe he just swings in another direction.

How do you trust someone who doesn’t think they are lying?

Carefully. Someone who knows they lie is seriously not trustworthy. Someone who doesn’t feel they’re lying is probably a member of the wrong political party and is just reflecting the bullshit they’ve been fed. Someone weak-minded will believe anything if it is repeated long enough and with vigor. I have friends like this. I can trust them on certain issues, but not on others. Our relationship takes a bit of work to sustain. Sooner or later, however, the truth will float to the surface. I can wait.

Does everyone have hidden creativity? Are some people just non-creative?

What you think is what you are, regardless of the fact that you have “hidden” talent and creativity. If you think you don’t then you never will have until you change your mindset. But thinking you have is just the beginning. Making use of what you have is what helps to define you as creative.

“Don’t allow your life to become just a dead ritual. Let there be moments, unexplainable.”

-- Osho

 

 Then, a buttload of short answers:

Will sleep be like death when you have no dreams?

Indeed.

How can I make this year different from other years?

Write it as 2022. This usually sets it apart.

Is saying "I'm an artist" pretentious?

Saying “I’m a good artist” is pretentious.

If I am not studying, how can my life become better?

Strive to be happy always and in all things.

Why do I still keep craving my ex even though he cheated on me?

Does he have a substantial package?

How would you comment on “améliorer la vision de la rétine comme un zoom”?

French for “improve retinal vision fast.”

What happens when you don't put yourself first?

You put yourself at risk.

How many hours do you think the perfect working week would be?

45 hours. 7:00 - 5:00 with a 1-hour lunch break.

Why is decluttering important for self-care?

You risk becoming a hoarder of things or emotions.

Can you accept that some things will never get done?

Yes, but their name escapes me.

Do New Year’s resolutions work effectively as planned?

For as long as you can remember them.

Why is your memory so bad at 35?

Why was my memory so bad at 18?

What is the real meaning of advice?

Suggestion.

How can I look better in one day?

Try a makeover.

What makes you really feel alive?

A full night of raucous, exotic, sex.

Will Facebook Whistleblower have any real impact on the future regulation of social media sites?

Another ploy to put off any real substantive regulation. 

What is one thing that is not true about life?

Death is the end.

Why should I join a club? What are the true benefits?

Comradery with folks who have similar likes and backgrounds.

What did you finally realize was just a huge waste of time?

Scientology, and the day to see through the BS. 

What life lessons do you live by?

All of them.

What high-demand skills can I learn from my phone?

Telephone sales. 

Do you know what your priorities are?

Yes.

What’s the fastest way to get a lot of willpower?

Imminent death usually works.

Are you living a Facebook lie?

Oh, hell no. I’m living too many other lies.

“Sometimes the truth is a secret your keeping from yourself because living a lie is easier.”

-- Adam Silvera

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Soldiers, Success, Happiness, and Knowledge

“Guns are made for killing. That's the only thing they're for. And they don't give a flying-flip what they kill. It's the people handling them who have to take all the responsibility. You always handle a gun like your life and the life of anybody around you depends on how safe and careful you are, 'cause it does.”

-- Bill Wallace

What are your goals for 2022 and what do you plan to change or keep the same in your life moving forward?

String lights around the top of the golf cart, go fishing more, lose some weight, stay on this side of the dirt, and continue to be happy always and in all things since this keeps my life moving forward.

Who is someone you used to admire but lost your respect this year?

I admired many people that I found out were socialists this year. The ones who wish to destroy the Constitution I have lost all respect for.

Can you recommend to me some books that can make my personality perfect?

“Tao Te Ching” - Lao Tsu

“The Art of War” - Sun Tzu

“The Five Rings” - Miyamoto Musashi

“Code of the Samurai” - Inazo Nitobe

“Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.”

-- José Ortega y Gasset

“Respect isn’t something you get from a position or even from past achievements. Respect has to be earned and re-earned with every single person you come in contact with” do you agree with this philosophy?

Situationally. There are those of us who, out of general courtesy, respect everyone we meet until they prove us wrong for doing so, or if they’ve done something that prevents the giving of that respect. In the military, you can respect a person’s rank without having to respect the person, until the person proves themselves worthy of your respect.

What do I do now that I am becoming successful? I've been broken up until now.

Give back what you feel you can. Volunteer if you have the time. Build on the karma that seems to have found you.

Games make us happy because they are hard work that we choose for ourselves. ― Jane McGonigal. What are your thoughts on this statement?

For some, maybe. Games make me happy because I enjoy the break from the hard work I choose for myself. Games might be hard work for those who have issues with concentration, learning, or both. Luckily, I pick up games easily. If I have to try that hard at some game, I’d be finding another one or going back to work.

“We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing!”

-- Benjamin Franklin

Is it always okay for one to make friends with people who share/have the same vision or mission as one does?

Competition can turn ugly in short order. Teamwork, on the other hand, is about supporting each other toward a common goal. You work together and get accolades as a group, not as an individual.

What's an oddly specific thing that gives your life meaning?

Paranormal research.

Besides keys/money/credit cards, are there other things that you keep with you at all times?

Medicare card, driver’s license, watch, “Air Force Retired” cap, my military I.D. card, and the occasional 9mm.

“A magician may step out without a purse, but he should never step out without a pack of playing cards.”

-- Amit Kalantri

What makes you happy and hopeful?

Life! Every day on this side of the dirt is another gift from God and another chance to excel in life. To waste the opportunity is not an option. 

What subject have you been engaged in trying to learn or understand that you simply gave up on, and why?

Math. I really struggled in high school and didn’t even attempt it in college. The only thing holding me back from a degree is a college-level math class. Luckily, my life went in directions where college wasn’t necessarily needed, and I still retired three times.

Could people make good decisions without learning anything?

It would be a roll of the dice. Without learning anything, what are they basing their decision on? Pick door number one, or door number two? If they haven’t learned anything, my advice is to not let them be cutting any wires attached to explosives or handle guns that haven’t been checked for rounds in the chamber.

“So. Tell me. What do you think? Which is better? To take action and perhaps make a fatal mistake - or to take no action and die slowly anyway?”

-- Ahdaf Soueif

What odd things have you done to start out the New Year?

I did not get hammered.

What is every human goal?

True happiness.

What will inevitably happen if military units stand idle in the fields for several months and do nothing?

They will lose their edge. If they lose their edge, they lose their preparedness. If they lose their preparedness, they will, in all probability, lose the battle.

"We cannot afford to be idle, and though weaker than our opponents in men and military equipments, must endeavor to harass, if we cannot destroy them."

-- Robert E. Lee

What are your measurable indicators when working towards success?

Am I still truly happy with what I’m doing to attain the goal? If you’re not, what’s the point? “Success” is being truly happy, not in attaining a goal. 

What does it really mean to put the past behind you?

Remember the past for the lessons it taught, but don’t dwell in it. What happened is not as important as what you do now, at this moment. What we do now will affect the future. Better to be focused on the present.

Author's comment:  You're correct except that the past I'm referring to is crimes against me & my family. The past has to be dealt with to produce freedom from it in our future.

My reply:  It helps to put the question in some context. But, what you seem to be referring to is revenge. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. But, then, I am not you, and I will not judge.

Author's reply:  Defending my family against crime is not revenge - for the record.

My reply:  Again, you stated you were referring to the past being dealt with, which sounded like revenge. There is no issue with protecting the family from a repeat of the past. 

Is a retired soldier still a soldier?

If one has stayed in long enough to retire, they’ve probably evidenced their patriotism. The Marines state, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” It actually encompasses all services, for those who served with honor. You see them proudly wearing their “Veteran” or “Retired” caps. You see them pass an American flag and skip a step as they look up, or stop and silently salute.

I gave almost 23 years of my life to military service, and I regret none of it. It made me who I am today. I helped to define my personal ethical code. As I approach 70 years of age, I know I would go back when called, if for no other reason than to train others.

“...It is a proud privilege to be a soldier – a good soldier … [with] discipline, self-respect, pride in his unit and his country, a high sense of duty and obligation to comrades and to his superiors, and a self-confidence born of demonstrated ability.”

-- George S. Patton Jr.

“Time is precious. Don’t waste it on people” do you agree with this philosophy?

Time is nothing but a human construct, developed for no other purpose than to give life structure. If you wish to “waste” the moment on people, go ahead. Infinity has plenty of more moments to share, if not in this life, then in the next.

What does the rich do differently in shaping their habits that foster wealth and success?

They hire competent people.

Has the person who has a strong purpose, a reason to live, a strong desire to achieve something, finds a way to survive even in the most difficult of circumstances?

They will find a way to survive or they’ll go down fighting. They have faith in themselves. Never give up. Never surrender. Where there is faith there is always hope.

Author's comment:  Thanks this helped.

My reply:  You are so welcome.

“The worst part is wondering how you’ll find the strength tomorrow to go on doing what you did today and have been doing for much too long, where you’ll find the strength for all that stupid running around, those projects that come to nothing, those attempts to escape from crushing necessity, which always founder and serve only to convince you one more time that destiny is implacable, that every night will find you down and out, crushed by the dread of more and more sordid and insecure tomorrows. And maybe it’s treacherous old age coming on, threatening the worst. Not much music left inside us for life to dance to. Our youth has gone to the ends of the earth to die in the silence of the truth. And where, I ask you, can a man escape to, when he hasn’t enough madness left inside him? The truth is an endless death agony. The truth is death. You have to choose: death or lies. I’ve never been able to kill myself.”

-- Louis-Ferdinand Celine

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Life, Work, Feelings, and Age

 

“My body had become that of an old liar, and my most spontaneous transports had begun to end in calculated maneuverings and delayed deliveries. It was no longer a question of self-esteem or pride; when I thought of breaking up with her, it was not to avoid some sort of discomfiture: it was a question of authenticity. I loved Laura too much to drag myself along on crutches in the wake of our love.”

-- Romain Gary

How does one reduce meaningless work and turn out effective work?

Get promoted.

Do horrible people at work ever get karma?

They’re not getting the clue. It’s why they continue to be so horrible.

What are your best tips on a New Year’s declutter?

If you haven’t used it in 2021, you probably won’t use it in 2022. Chuck it! I’m dumping a lot of shirts, taking up room in my closet, that I haven’t worn in several years. The charities will love me.

"Start in one room and throw out or donate anything that you don’t need. If you find that you have a large number of items to dispose of you might consider renting a trash dumpster. Even something like a 10-yard trash dumpster can help make the project much easier. Just think if you don’t throw it out right away, the unwanted items may find their way back into your house."

-- Lettie Goodridge

Is imposing what you want on others good or bad?

Imposing anything on others is selfish, and selfishness is never a good thing.

Have you ever wanted something but once you got it, you realize it wasn't what you wanted? Do you have doubts about it after you get what you want?

Yes, and I can’t even remember her name. I woke up, saw her, and the doubts were crushing.

Is it selfish to choose what’s best for yourself? I have learned that if you have two things, give the better one to another person so that would be a courteous act.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

What is at the top of your bucket list of things to do in life?

World cruise on an adults-only cruise line.

How do you stop regretting being a good person, being there for people who have never done the same for you?

Never regret being a good person. You will always do things for people who wouldn’t give you a second glance, but this is okay. Let karma take care of what they don’t do. You keep being a good person. The minute you start choosing who you do for, you have become selfish.

Would it look bad if I don’t attend my last ever shift at Primark because I’m embarrassed?

Always finish what you start. You have to learn to suck it up, sooner or later, so, why not now?

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

-- Dr. Seuss

If you were mandated, what would you rather be, the richest, the wisest, or the happiest?

There’s no reason to be anything if you aren’t happy.

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

I’d like to say “sex” but, at 68, it’s a crapshoot. Bourbon.

How do you understand ‘thing’ in this question? Do you think it should be dropped out? “What makes it true that a person at one time is the same thing as a person at another time?

“Thing” is unnecessary.

"A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts."

-- William Strunk, Jr.

How do you keep your spirits up when all is not well?

It is what it is until it isn’t, so make it well. If you can’t make it well then you have little or no control over it. Don’t worry about things over which you have little or no control. Life is too short to do anything but strive to be happy always. If anything gets in the way of happiness, get rid of it ASAP. The alternative to happiness simply sucks.

Hypothetically, this experience of life is a game or a contest. What place on the leader board are you in?

I’ve finished, attained my goals, and am waiting for everyone else to catch up.

How do you take a stand in life?

When it comes to ethical behavior, grow a pair and hold your ground.

“Our freedoms are vanishing. If you do not get active to take a stand now against all that is wrong while we still can, then maybe one of your children may elect to do so in the future, when it will be far more riskier — and much, much harder.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Would you believe a conspiracy theory?

I was in military Intelligence for almost 23 years. You learn not to believe anything until it’s proven.

How do I not be a procrastinator anymore?

I’ll get back to you on that.

What do you hate the most about getting old?

The aches and pains of my misspent youth.

“You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.”

-- George Burns

How did you bring joy or happiness to someone else this season?

Every night I make a point of going to have a couple of bourbons with my 88-year-old mom. This makes her happy. Hell, it makes me happy. She pays.

Do you die if you lose sperm?

What? No. Well, only if she kills you afterward, but we’re not spiders.

What do big feet on a woman mean?

Probably the same “fairy tale” it means for a man, but for a woman. It never hurts to dream.

"For men, it indicates big privates. If they have a big nose, broad shoulders, and big hands, wow, they must have something really huge in their pants.

For a woman, it is probably the same - a big-nosed, big footed woman, with large, broad shoulders, needs a man with the same outward proportions for her inner proportions."

-- Anonymous

I am tired of being poor what to do?

Become truly happy, regardless of your circumstances, and you won’t care.

I have no debt, live well within my means, don’t waste money on trivial crap I really don’t need, and strive to be happy always and in all things.

What are the most common sources of pain in life, and why?

Marriage. Why? Making a poor choice for a significant other.

Debt.  Why?  Making a poor choice for a significant other.

Are life and death just a shot away?

Life is already here. Death arrives in its own good time… unless you challenge it and lose. Free climbing a cliff face is a good challenge.

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.”

-- Isaac Asimov

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questions of Betty Boop, Photos, and the Universe

 

"You know he said, that she said, but he didn't say where she got it. But if she said what he said, then I think I'm gonna stop it!"

-- Betty Boop

After the busy holidays, do you feel down?

No, I feel glad that they're over so we can get back to the new normal.

Why did some people find it difficult to fall in love?

We still do, and it’s because we still get falling in love confused with falling in lust. Maturity tends to iron this confusion out. As we get older, having our world rocked is just as important as a lifelong companionship with who rocks our world.

What are the most important things you learned in your 40s?

Stay away from debt and marriage.

"It will always boggle your mind how some people will exceed the lowest imaginable depth of stupidity, incompetence, and nastiness, while others will exceed the highest imaginable pinnacle of kindness, compassion, and helpfulness."

-- Andrea Reiser 

What’s a quote that reminds you to not stress throughout your day?

Strive to be happy always and in all things, because the alternative simply sucks.

What does "stills don't do her justice." mean?

Trying to capture the “essence” of someone in a photograph is what photography is all about. A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words, but, if you aren't familiar with the subject, all you have to work with is the picture.

I was in lust with a lingerie model. She had classic Mediterranean beauty. Then, I had an opportunity to see the vision of loveliness in an interview. The first thought that went through my mind was, “Don’t speak, just have the sex of a lifetime with me.” She opened her mouth and the voice of Betty Boop came out.

My lust was instantly crushed and, since there was no way this model was going to fall in love with little ol' me, the relationship died before it started.

Is it true that in order to be successful, it’s more about luck rather than merit?

No. I’d hate to be around someone who didn’t earn what they got.

“Those who mistake their good luck for their merit are inevitably bound for disaster.”

-- J. Christopher Herold

Should you try winning someone back a few times if you are the one who messed up? How many times is decent? Taking about 35+ mature folks, are 1-2 times okay?

Apologize and learn from the mistake. If they’re still with you, it was meant to be, if not… trying becomes begging, and begging is demeaning. It is what it is, so move on.

How does one change your life in 6 months?

Train me. The military did it in six weeks.  

What are tangible memories?

The definition says it all: Things that are perceptible by touch.

“Their memory was something tangible and heavy, and I would carry it with me.”

-- Ransom Riggs

Has anyone gone over an idea or situation so many times in their head that isn’t true and ended up believing it is, or do you know someone who has done this?

What? No.

Why do I feel like nothing matters, like we’re just these little pieces of dust among the big universe?

Because we are little pieces of stuff, and nothing matters. Few people grasp this. Nothing matters until you choose it to matter. Death doesn’t matter unless you choose to live. The size of the universe doesn’t matter until you choose to consider your size in it. Choice, itself, doesn’t matter until you choose to make a choice.

I have made the conscious choice that everything matters that makes me exceedingly happy. I choose to strive for true happiness always and in all things. This drives the League of the Perpetually Offended nuts, and this, also, makes me exceedingly happy. The alternative, for me, simply sucks. 

After making all the money you want, acquiring all the goodies you desire, what more is there to human life?

Happiness.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."

-- Denis Waitley

Why do people stop actively learning after their schooling years?

I’m looking up at bookshelves filled with religion, physics, poetry, philosophy, politics, and wonder who stops “actively” learning? I’m approaching 70, and I certainly haven’t. Every day is another opportunity to learn, to excel in life. Why would you waste that?

Why does the unexpected happen a lot more often than expected?

Shit just happens.

How do you feel that winning in any given situation is due to hard work but also in part due to luck?

When I hit someone, I really don’t expect to only have to hit them once. But, when they hit the ground, I chalk it up to luck, and then I kick the crap out of them and run.

“Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How come society measures success to be the basis for wealth? What is your take?

They don’t understand the difference between achievement and true happiness. Wealth is an achievement. True happiness defines success.

Why should I not rely on an outside source of positivity?

What do you do when it disappears? Better to develop your own positivity than to rely on others.

Why do they who profess to have lived past lives were seemingly rich, powerful, or notable characters from history?

I was a young boy, in the back of a buckboard, handing out ladles of water to the horse soldiers as they rode by in some southern desert. Rich and powerful? Notable character? Nope.

“In their previous lives, poets were bats, and thinkers were owls.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

Why do I regret anything I purchase no matter how cheap or a good deal it is?

It’s why I stopped cruising bars and met a nice woman.

How did you avoid depression, anger, and self-pity after you experienced a loss?

Forgiveness… and I accepted the apology I was never going to get. Anything else just holds you back from moving on.

Ordinary people don’t know what is good for them so they shouldn’t decide anything. Explain?

Socialist indoctrination.

“I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”

-- Thomas Jefferson

What’s the best thing you have ever done for someone?

I married her. She thanked me in the divorce, 25 years later.

What is a good life, and can we attain it?

Happiness. It’s very easy, just make the conscious decision to be truly happy always and in all things, and then strive to make it happen. Tada! Not only is it a good life, but it’s also a successful one.

What's a meaningful resolution I can make for 2022?

Strive to be happy always and in all things. It is an easy road to a successful life.

“Resolution, like responsibility, is a product of ownership, and kids can't resolve a conflict until they figure out how they contributed to it.”

-- Richard Eyre

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com