What do you say to the sick or dying?

"How do you try to say the right words when talking to her and her family? How much more can she take? Then we are going through the grieving process as well. We are still dealing with my brother in law's own Cancer treatment. It just seems so overwhelming? What would be a good part of the Bible I could read that might give me some Hope and Inspiration? Thanks for your help buddy. God bless."

This is typical of email I get every so often as I travel my path. It is email I dread having to answer, for obvious reasons. Trying to say the right words would be easier for me than finding those right words to say. I have known this gentleman for only a short while but I could have known him for a lifetime and the answers would not come easier. His life seems to be one of continual tests of his resolve and faith, and this is not the first time he has sought out my thoughts.  

What do you say to the sick or dying?  How in God's name would I know?  One thing I know I wouldn't want to hear, is bullshit.  Let's face it, telling some guy on the battlefield he's going to be fine when his intestines are spilling all over the ground because the artillery round blew off the lower part of his body seems a little self-serving.  You sidestep having to tell him he's dead already but his brain just hasn't caught up with the fact, and he lies in his own gore looking at you and thinking, "Say what?" as your credibility crashes and burns during their last dying gasp.  Better you had not said anything than to say something stupid and let it be the last words they hear.  I've never been very good at blowing smoke up someone's ass, especially when the outcome is so painfully obvious.  I think it is more respectful if you just hold them and give them honesty.  How are they going to make peace with God if you're morally abandoning them by lying about the outcome?  

The following is the humble response I sent to my friend:

My friend, this was so sad to hear. The difficulty in finding the right words is oft times the result of not wanting to cause more grief than they already experience. My view is colored by my faith and not by any false sense of propriety required to make anyone feel better before the, seemingly, inevitable. God called her to task. If this task were simply a test of her faith winning the bout with breast cancer might have been the end of it. I guess there comes a time when someone has to ask, "How much more do I have to endure?" It could be her faith isn't strong enough, yet. It may also be that she was never meant to win and man has just been postponing what God intends for her. She may be needed elsewhere.

Once again you have found yourself in the unenviable position of trying to be responsible for others happiness, without the words to guarantee it. Unless asked, it is probably best to remain silent. Offer an ear, a shoulder, and prayers when needed. Be strong in your faith and let them recognize that in you; it may help them to find their own strength and understand that which may be soon upon them.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. Fort what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

-- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

-- John 14:1-4 

Sometimes, my friend, God must press the children for more than they can give. Sometimes this requires the ultimate of sacrifice. We all know this, God has told us, laid it before us, and we, as always opt to look away and cover our ears. This test is not hers alone. If her faith is strong, perhaps the test is meant for someone else and she is simply God's instrument to achieve for mankind something larger than herself. Her faith and that of those around her should solidify her place in heaven. If none of this is understood, then there is no hope except that which God affords.

Be sensitive and mindful of what they are going through.  Their pain is as much mental as physical.  Sometimes being silent and a good listener are more important to them than all the good intentions you can spew from your ever moving pie hole.  Hold them, cry with them, and be there for them, even if they shun you in favor of self-pity.  They are looking for a rock when family and friends are crumbling to sand along with them.   At times it makes one wonder who is really dying, the patient or the family. We need to be the solid rock they can anchor to until the storm passes.  Notice I said they can tie to.  Whether they do or not is up to them, but at least you offer an option.  You cannot force them to accept your shoulder, you can only be there for if they do.  The family may not appreciate that the loved one chooses your anchorage over theirs.  Hey, time for them to buck up.  It isn't about them, and as much sympathy for their feeling as I might be able to muster, if I'm having to do it, it is because they have failed, failed for reason, but failed none the less.

I do not color what I say to people that ask me questions or seek advice.  My dad always brought me up to call a spade a spade.  This did not serve me well in the butt kissing world of the military, nor the seriously butt kissing corporate world, but I could always look in the mirror at the end of the day and know I did the right thing saying that which had to be said.  Many times I have had people I know slam their door shut on me, put up the walls and make sure the crocs in their moat were hungry.  Patience is a virtue I am learning.  More times than not, giving them some time to consider what was said brings them back around to the possibility I might have been right, or at least that I offered the most honest answer of those around them.  As I find myself vomiting thoughts all over the paper in order to get to the point, let me reiterate that honesty is my entire point here.  But it is honesty tempered with understanding and a heartfelt desire to be there for them.  Hold them close, be honest, and be there.

I will walk with you for a bit, if you'd like,
on this, the last mile of your path here.
Arm in arm we will talk and laugh,
perhaps we will cry in our memories. 

At the end of the day, you must go.
I must stay, as my path still has distance,
but you must forge ahead
unto the next great adventure. 

Give me one last look before you go,
a glance over the shoulder, and a smile.
I will miss you, but we will meet again
and we will walk for a bit, arm in arm.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite. 

Sunday Thought, February 15, 2015: The Power of Love

The Power of Love

Last night at the store, after a long day with hubby at the doctors, there was a little boy we ran into in Walmart.  He fell in love with Lilly (hubby's service animal, yes, shes a cat). The little boy was in tears.  When I asked him if he was ok he broke down and cried. He said he was there with grandma, and grandpa normally gets her roses for Valentine's Day but he's in heaven now and this is the first time grandpa won't be able to give her flowers in forty years.  He also told me, since his mommy didn't have a husband, he could only afford to buy one of them roses. He asked me who Lilly and I, since we were girls, thought he should buy roses for.

I introduced his mother and grandma to Lilly and my husband and ask them if they would sit with my husband and Lilly while I quickly grabbed the things we needed and that I would be right back.  The young man had already showed me their favorite flowers so I grabbed them and snuck up to the service desk. I explained to the people there what I was doing and they let me purchase the bunch of flowers and arrange them in two sets at the counter. As I walked back to hubby and the family, I motioned to the boy to come over so he could sign their cards.  He gave me a huge hug.  I told him he had a great grandpa and his grandma needed the flowers also.

We walked over to the benches and he proudly presented both his mom and grandmother the flowers. He was a lovely boy and was raised to respect the ladies in his life. The grandmother and I spoke for a while.  She needed an ear, yet was so use to being the strong one. It was such a blessing to see a young man care about and treat the ladies in his life with love and respect.

May we all, as ministers, lead by example.  Is there someone around you that you know may be lonely and down with the Hallmark holiday that a quick note or a small "in the budget" gift will uplift their spirits?  It doesn't have to be a marriage proposal, or even a date.  It can be a "just because you are another human being" gesture.

GYPSY - February 13, 2015

I asked Gypsy if I could reprint her post from the Truth Dreamer website for this week's Sunday Thought, as I thought it has relevance for all of us.  She agreed.  Gypsy follows a pagan path and is a fellow interfaith minister.  Her and her husband both suffer from various physical and emotional issues due to his military service and her life events.  At times these ailments are debilitating, and yet, she finds the strength and the love to be the person we see above.  And my point is what?

It takes so little, from even those whom themselves are in need, to give a little kindness that can make a difference in another's life.  Through her kindness these ladies see they do not walk their path alone, there are others there to lend a hand, or an ear.  The sweet young man learns there are angels that enter our lives in moments of sorrow and need.  I would not be surprised to see this kindness paid forward in his future.

Take a moment out this Valentine's Day, and Sunday, and reach out to another; to buy a single flower for and elderly woman, whose husband may have passed on, or simply to sit and talk for a brief moment.  A random act of kindness should always be in the forefront of our thoughts.  It takes so very little from us to make a moment greater for others.

Besides, a smile is a terrible thing to waste.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Charity Begins at Home

Charity is a means of economic oppression because it maintains an ideology that is directly in opposition to socialism. Charity reinforces so many misconceptions about society: that social change relies on us being nice and feeling generous with what little disposable income we have; and that the disadvantaged should wag their tails with gratitude every time the wealthy toss them a bone labelled "charity".

Megan Miranda, "Where Charity Begins & Why it Should End"

I gleaned this quote from the organization website of The Socialist Party of Great Britain while I was researching some material for my previous post, Fading into Memory.  Ms. Miranda tries to make this view she puts forward seem like fact, when the one, of two, clear facts is that it is an opinion. I chuckle when I hear socialists talk about oppression. Pure socialism is about as oppressive to a healthy economy as you can get.  I suppose economists would balk at this statement while historians might support it.  When you read this one paragraph, and I invite you to use the link and read the entire article, I see government intrusion in every line; charity is in opposition to a form of government, social change should be at the government whim and not linked the people being nice and feeling generous, and it is better for the government to toss the bone of charity than the individuals that have some disposable income. Of course, under socialism, there will be very little disposable income unless you are a member of the socialist elite; so much for financial equality.

I have a feeling this post is heading somewhere, they usually do, I'm just not sure where this one is going.  Please bear with me. 

My humble opinion of M. Miranda's article is that it vomits the expected socialist drivel onto free thinking, robust, capitalist economies in another failed attempt to have us all goose stepping to the anthem of some future godless, government controlled, police state which, historically, will economically implode on itself given enough time. The second clear fact is that this paragraph is, as I stated, also an opinion and, like my father has always pointed out, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. 

"Effective philanthropy requires a lot of time and creativity - the same kind of focus and skills that building a business requires."

-- Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft

I think we should all be philanthropic, when we have something to give back. We should all want to give, and experience the warm feeling of giving. But, of what benefit is it, for those that have, to be forced by government to give of their good fortune? Forced charity is not charity at all, it is a tax. Taxes are not liked and, by extension, the cause of the tax will not be liked (for those not keeping up, that would be those in need of charity). Taxes lack the driving force of philanthropy that only an entrepreneur, a captain of industry, or Mother Theresa can provide; a force for good that is replaced by a yoke of government intrusion. Even the poorest can provide charity for another, until the pot is empty.  When that "individual" force is mandated (demanded) the flood of freely given charity turns to a trickle; libraries and monuments to mankind disappear under the weight of governmental "best of intentions." I think it is better to leave those that have and have not to their own devices, as many of them make superb role models for those young people that follow in their footsteps.

True philanthropy requires a disruptive mindset, innovative thinking and a philosophy driven by entrepreneurial insights and creative opportunities.

-- Naveen Jain, business executive, entrepreneur

Socialism has no use for charity, it is a charity. They feel that we should all just do for each other, a noble concept for one incapable of seeing further out than the end of their nose. One must try to remember, if everyone is in the cart, no one is pulling it. There must be wealthy or there will be no wealth, and without a mass of wealth there can be no mass of charity; we will only be able to give till it hurts, after it hurts long enough the pain will stop, and that is usually the sign that there is no more left to give. For all the good intentions, the system becomes financially bankrupt and there is just no money left. Sounding familiar? Hmmmm....

"To take from one, because it is thought that his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare others, who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, 'the guarantee to every one of a free exercise of his industry, and the fruits acquired by it'."

-- Thomas Jefferson, American Founding Father, 3rd President of the United States

This is one reason why pure socialism and communism constantly fail. The idea of each is enticing, but the burden of reality teaches they are as bad or worse as the government they replaced and the people will soon realize the mistake when they're society starts to go south on them. In the end, socialism and communism just don't work.  They don't work because everyone becomes poor, no one can speak out for change, and everyone becomes without hope. I think, for a lively, robust society to continue to exist, there must also exist hope; the idea that, as individuals, we have an opportunity to strive for something better. Without this desire we simply trade one form of slavery for another; the masters simply change places with a few "chosen" slaves as managers who become as bad or, more likely, worse than the previous regime. Our legacy then becomes giant monuments to government instead of to the betterment of mankind. We simply fade into memory, like the crew of the boat in my previous post. Archeologists study great monuments of failed societies throughout history. The monuments still exist, while the people have turned to dust.

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

-- Thomas Jefferson

I think we should give because it is the right thing to do, the moral and the humane thing to do.  It is what Jesus would do, right?  The question, for most of us and our government, is really how to go about giving.  I think Jefferson and Gates have eyes solidly on target.  It isn't about redistributing wealth.  Throwing money at poverty produces no long term gains for society or the individual.  As the Sephardic Jewish philosopher, Maimonides, said in the 11th century, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

But, then, who are we to ever remember history, much less learn from it?



Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Fading into Memory

Photo courtesy of Crystal D'Zamba 

12971 

Retired from active duty, she sits on blocks. 

There will be no salvage as the wood surrenders to time.

The rats that jumped ship, replaced by their field mice cousins.

Winters come and go, and through all she abides her fate.

Yet, for 12971, the eye beholds her  hidden beauty.

One imagines the animation as she regains her old luster;

Paint and rotting planks miraculously become anew.

The men manning nets hanging from booms on the center mast.

The captain yelling out orders as the catch is spied ahead.

12971, a rotting derelict, all but forgotten.

For those that see, beyond what is presented,

There exists another beauty which can only come with age;

Of history, of adventure, and stories of those that served.

For those able to see, there is still much to learn.

Fishing boat 12971, retired from active duty?  Perhaps.

But, for as long as she can be seen, she teaches.

She teaches about life, work, and a love for the sea.

There is a lesson of history, danger, and livelihood.

And there remains a quiet beauty, as nature reclaims her soul.

12971; she could be any one of us.

As we get older, are we fading into memory?  Are we doomed to be hauled off to rot on some forgotten corner of land, ourselves to be forgotten in the course of time?  What of our lives and adventures, lost loves and love found?  Does a lifetime of success boil down to a retirement home and a round of golf?  Is this all there is, and is this enough?

I have known some very wealthy people and I have heard of others.  Many of them work their entire lives to leave their mark on industry, the business world, or just in their profession.  They will be remembered, some footnote in history, some plaque on a wall; remembered and just as quickly forgotten.  It is more likely one will be remembered for what they do for others, than what they do for themselves.  It is their selflessness, not their selfishness, which etches them into our memories.  Our legacy should not be what we have built for ourselves but, rather, what we have built for others and what we contribute to society.

"I would rather have it said, 'He lived usefully,' than, 'He died rich.'"

-- Benjamin Franklin

What is the difference between fishing boat 12971 and the flight by the Wright brothers at Kitty Hawk?  We look at 12971, imagine all of her contributions, and see an artistic beauty which remains.   The crew has long faded into memory.  As for Kitty Hawk, we remember Orville and Wilbur Wright, and we may see the craft they flew in our minds eye, but it is their contribution to the world which sticks firmly to memory.

“If you're in the luckiest one per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent.”

-- Warren Buffett, business magnate, investor, philanthropist

Many of us see the libraries, museums, centers for the performing arts, and the like.  We see the benefactor's names that adorn the many buildings and remember their wealth being used to enrich the lives of the common man, not so much do we remember how they made their enormous wealth.  Even today there are billionaires that, selfishly, fully intend on leaving their massive fortunes to charities and the betterment of mankind so they can feel so much better about themselves.  Somehow that statement just doesn't float.  Perhaps, even more to the point, they just don't want to fade from memory.  Do any of us?

But, the majority doesn't have the finances to leave this kind of legacy behind.  For us there is the legacy of paying it forward.  What we do today can have great effect on those that come after.  How we treat others has great effect on how they, in turn, treat someone else.  What we teach to others is taught, by them, to someone else.  Our legacy is not in what we have, but in what we do.  Will we eventually fade into memory?  Of course, after all, only the pharaohs and kings are ever unearthed by archeologists with any fanfare.  Their minions, for the most part, regardless of contribution, are lost to the sands of time.

But, for as long as she can be seen, she teaches.

She teaches about life, work, and a love for the sea.

There is a lesson of history, danger, and livelihood.

And there remains a quiet beauty, as nature reclaims her soul.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite. 

A God Given Artistic Ability

If I could show people how easy something like this is to accomplish, I think more folks would find peace in life.  There is something about taking a blank canvas and watching as you morph it into something wonderful with your own hands.  

Art defines us as human, and it has been with us since before we inhabited caves.  Stone arrow and spearheads, cutting tools, baskets for gathering, were all an expression of someone's artistic talent.  Space travel is simply an artistic expression of someone's desire to create something; to take that blank canvas, desire a vision, and apply the paint to bring the vision to life.  A woman may tell her children she has no artistic talent, and yet she looks through those same young faces of her greatest artistic achievements without realizing what a natural artist God created in her.

Art is not all about you.  Sometimes one must rely on inspiration.  I think, nature is our greatest muse.  Nature provides so much opportunity for us to see beyond what is presented for our consideration.  It is the ability to see a rotting tree and spy the sap filled portion that might eventually petrify, given time, and make from this piece an artistic element for some bare corner of the home. 

It's about finding the proper angle for the cut that will bring out the growth rings and accentuate the inner, unseen beauty which God created, and which you rescued from oblivion.  It can be about the story it tells of the property it was on, the region of the country, or the hurricane that took down the tree it came from.  

If art isn't your thing, maybe gardening is, and how marvelous is that for you?  Every year, you have another opportunity to till under last year's crop, essentially erasing your canvas, so you can start a new creation.  Yes, gardening is an expression of your artistic talent, and it is a talent that many do not possess.  I am artistic at several disciplines and yet, the "simple" art of gardening escapes me.  

Those that can, do.  Those that can't, teach.  My artistic side was the unwitting discovery of my high school art teacher who constantly berated my work and reflected his own jealousy in my grades.  He discovered nothing about the latent potential in young students, and his breath reeked of old pipe smoke and Binaca breath drops. Since he had no teaching ability, I set out to teach myself what I needed to know about whatever it was I wanted to accomplish.  The day came when I was requested to provide a large painting of deep space for an observatory boardroom in the Netherlands for their 50th anniversary celebration; I knew I had accomplished what that teacher never thought I could.  My work was hanging in Europe, I'm not sure he can say the same.

God imbues us all with an artistic ability.  It is how we develop and move forward.  It is how we survive, define beauty, and learn to appreciate that which reflects our imaginings of God's infinite abilities.  It is our ability to create something from nothing; to take the branch we find on a trail and create a shillelagh, an Irish walking stick, so others might marvel at the tremendous art found in the world, and in God's infinite universe.

But, for most of us, the proof is in the pudding.  So, let's make the test easy.  I recommend finding something to work with that has staying power; something you can keep messing around with until you get it right.  You might consider something in concrete, like a garden statue.  

I'll use the example of one I did for the back patio of a duplex I lived in.  I found a statue of the Buddha, and watered down some acrylic paint until it became more of a stain.  I wanted an antiqued look and this seemed a simple fix, especially if it weathered out, which it did.  I didn't have to be especially careful since it was concrete and going into the garden, if I could stand back and see the effect I was after that would be sufficient; mistake tend to blur with distance.  The project surpassed my expectations, which says volumes since I'm my worst critic.  It took ten years of northwest weather to achieve the ultimate effect, and the small, natural ruby cabochon I glued to the forehead managed to stay adhered through the entire ordeal and can still be seen in the photo.

Sometimes art is the mere click of a shutter, the photograph of a lifetime.  And then there are those projects requiring the patience of Job.  Whether it is the dinner you create for that special someone, the child you raise to be proud of, the story you write that makes you cry or laugh, or the painting that speaks to you and others, art is a gift God expects us to use.

All of us have the ability, find yours and revel in it.  If I could show people how easy something like this is, I think more folks would find peace in life.  There is something about taking a blank canvas and watching as you morph it into something wonderful with your own hands.  It is another proof of the wonder of God each of us holds inside.

Time to let it out!

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.  

Another Band of Brothers

In one of his last newsletters, Mike Ranney wrote: "In thinking back on the days of Easy Company, I'm treasuring my remark to a grandson who asked, 'Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?' No, I answered, but I served in a company of heroes."  
― Stephen E. Ambrose, Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler's Eagle's Nest

Last night I found myself, as I do most every Friday evening, at Cigars in the Pass. It isn't that I go there to smoke the occasional cigar, which I do, but it happens to have local tap beer not found in most establishments along the Mississippi gulf coast. A couple of these are so rich and dark, with chocolate, coffee, or citrus flavor, you can only drink one or two, and the price for this treat will set you back a bit more than the only domestic "lite" beer they have on tap but they are definitely worth the price of admission.

Cigars is one of the only a few places, near the main street in our sleepy town, where you can get a beer.  The other "hot" spot would be Bacchus on the Beach.  Bacchus has a piano bar which they open on Friday and Saturday nights.  The crowd seems to be middle aged middle class, with a smattering of younger and older.  I've seen a couple of pretty single ladies cruising this particular bar scene, but they really need to learn that outfits of dark leotards, boots, and a baggy sweater aren't even enticing bait for a man my age.  But, this is what you find in a sleepy little town.

Last night at Cigars, however, I found the crowd along the short bar was populated with a jarhead, a grunt, and a zoomie (like me).  The owner, another Marine, rounded out our little "band of brothers."  It was an evening of stories; stories of battlefields, and bistros, military fathers and grandfathers, fatherly discipline of family, and old school discipline of military basic training; stories of life, death, love, and patriotism; stories of sacrifice and faith, and underlying it all, the story of God.  There exists a camaraderie among the military "family" that few, except perhaps first responders, can understand.  It is a willingness to die for the soldier next to you, to die for a patriotic ideal, for those people you don't know but represent everything we are. 

"I praise God that I live in a nation that is protected by soldiers, both men and women, who wake up every morning with just one goal in mind: to fight for freedom. Because of what they do the United States of America remains free. Soldiers spend many days, weeks, months and even years away from their loved ones to meet this goal. The love that they have is unfailing, and it is displayed by their bravery and dedication."

-- Pamela Rose Williams, author

We drank beer, lit up stogies, laughed, cried, and offered up a toast blessing these United States of America.  We were black and white, Baptist and Catholic, democrat and republican, Army, Marine and Air Force.  And, even though we were not graced with the Navy and Coast Guard, that stop in from time to time, there, for a few hours in a small, smoke-filled bar, there existed another band of brothers.  I think we all accepted that the absent squids and coasties were there with us in spirit.

“Everyday US Marines make possible the impossible and then go about their business like it's just the way things are supposed to be.”

-- Mark W. Boyer

There is a saying in the Marine Corps, made famous by Master Sergeant Paul Woyshner during a barroom argument, "Once a Marine, always a Marine!"  This is very true, but it goes beyond the Corps.  It goes to the heart of every patriot to ever serve their country, "Once a soldier, always a soldier."  For those of us that have been blessed to serve with other nations, or to socially "bump into" our military adversaries, one can even say it crosses national boundaries.  

There is an unspoken code of honor among the true military, or there was; I'm not sure anymore.  I know that, for my generation, and those that went before, we weren't always ready to set aside differences and find common ground, but it would happen anyway, if only for a short while, in settings not unlike that at Cigars.  I have been graced with memories of drinks with foreign military members where the language barrier crumbled under the weight of the beer, the vodka, and the laughter.  These were people, like us, not afraid to lay it all on the line; to sacrifice all to protect an imaginary line in the sand, a way of life, or a belief; people that would jump on a grenade, with little hesitation, to save their comrades.

"They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards."

-- Creighton W. Abrams, Battle of the Bulge

Would I do it all over again?  At 60, if they called me back to service, I would run to the calling, as many of us would.  It is a hard emotion to explain, but I think it is one that can be felt by those standing on the outside looking in.  If you ever have the opportunity to witness a "band of brothers" at your local watering hole, wander on over and listen.  I'll just bet you'll be able to feel it.  "It" is a pride, knowledge that you have actually been that part of something greater than yourself, a love of family and country, a love of God.  It is an overwhelming feeling of patriotism and faith that cuts through all boundaries to define those that serve.

I cannot wait for next Friday.  Oorah!

“If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath–a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.”

-- Lt Col Dave Grossman, U.S. Army (Ret.)

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Sunday Thought, February 8, 2015: Rewriting Religion, or Reinterpreting?

"The crazed fundamentalists of all religions call for the subversion of equal rights – they deny the words of our Constitution which grant that all men are created equal and replace them with words from antiquity which they claim are holy. Here in America, we even allow tax exemptions to bigoted ideologies that seek to hold back society with their unproven, personal beliefs taken from ancient books written by men who claim divine inspiration. Where is the beyond a reasonable doubt evidence or the preponderance of evidence that would pass the bar of scientific scrutiny?"

-- TheMonastery.org, "Call to Rewrite Religion"

In a peaceful, free, society, when does freedom of speech, freedom of religion, cross the line and become a threat to the peace and safety of others?  The riots in Ferguson, Missouri would be a great recent example of free speech gone awry.  Ferguson became another in a string of incidents in America depicting innocence under fire.  As a racial statement the actions fell flat considering most of the pain, anguish, and destruction directly affected the residents that were rioting.  The particular fuse for Ferguson was the death of a lawless bully too stupid to do what he was told.  The existing bomb was a community with no respect for the rule of law or anyone else's rights but their own.  Any fuse could have been used, the explosion still would have occurred, it was just a matter of time.

I am a patriot, and as such I believe in the rights of others as laid out in our Constitution and Bill of Rights.  But I also believe there must be moral limits to those rights.  Freedom of speech ignited the waiting fuse in Ferguson and set off the bomb of rioting and destruction.  If the National Guard had shot everyone looting or burning during the first night of rioting, what are the chances there would have been a second night?  Would they have been right in doing so?  Freedom of speech turned a demonstration into total anarchy.  The police and National Guard would have been protecting the rights, property, and safety of the law abiding citizens of the United States from domestic terrorists.  Yes, the minute they crossed that line into acts of violence against a segment of our society, they went from being citizens to domestic terrorists.  Some would say they are just criminals, and they would be right, these people should be charged for the crime of domestic terrorism.  I think free speech is a protected right until it threatens the safety and welfare of others.

In the 1919 Supreme Court case of Schenck v. United States, Oliver Holmes wrote that causing such a dangerous panic by untrue words was not protected speech. What isn't widely known is that this was later clarified in another Supreme Court case (Brandenburg v. Ohio). It wasn't that the false warning caused “clear and present danger” that would deem it unprotected, but rather, the speech must incite “imminent lawless action.”

-- TheMonastery.org, "Call to Rewrite Religion"

If Christians, in their zeal to do away with abortion clinics, state that all the doctors performing such procedures should hurt or killed, the centers bombed, this is inciting lawless action.  Is it "imminent lawless action?"  That would depend on how soon some insane Christian fanatic brings the threat to fruition.  I am not an abortion proponent.  However, I believe there are times when it is, unfortunately, called for.  It doesn't make it right.

We find these same issues in religious texts.  There exists language that, depending upon one's interpretation, can be construed to allow for untold violence against individuals, groups, and society.  Interpretations are usually driven by outside influences like politics, money, emotion, and lately by personal agendas.   But, how is the "word of God" interpreted any other way than the way God wanted?  It is written; therefore, it must be obeyed, right?  The meaning behind the "word of God" is only as accurate as far as the person who first received it.   From the first telling the story begins to be corrupted, if not by outside influences, then by repeated translations and rewrites.  

Let's say I own a ranch with a massive herd of cattle.  I've discovered that some of the cattle are afflicted with a communicable disease.  To save the rest of the cattle I instruct my foreman, my voice on the ranch, to separate the sick from the healthy, and put down the ones that just can't be saved so we don't spread the malady to all the other ranches.  My foreman's second language is English, but we've worked together for some time and I made the instructions simple for him to understand.  The foreman carries out the instructions but, while doing so, hears from another well-respected foreman that all the cattle are at risk and should be killed for the greater good.  Not being able to get hold of me to confirm, and knowing how deathly serious the situation is, he proceeds to kill all of the cattle on my ranch.  Being the "master," I gave instructions to be followed.  Being human, the foreman wanted to do the best job he could and reinterpreted my instructions with new information he received, and misunderstood.  Instead of killing all of the infected cattle, he destroyed the entire herd and put me out of business.

I think God gives us instructions to save the "herd" from destruction, but outside influences, translations, mistakes, and parables created in an attempt to clarify meaning, have distanced the intent of the "word of God" from what the voice actually said.  And that, for me, is the danger we face in mucking with it any further than we have.

When the regulation becomes so convoluted as to be misunderstood or not understood it is time to scrap the re-writes and start over again from scratch and come at it from a different angle.  It might not have ever been the "word" that was the problem.  It might very well have been the messenger.  If the principal teaches the teacher, and the teacher doesn't grasp the message, don't let the teacher teach until they do.  Reinterpreting the message for them is not the answer.  What we find are teachers spreading the wrong message to the students.  There is no doubt that something needs to be done to bring religious thought back in line with peace and love before we destroy this planet through misdirected faith, but rewriting already misunderstood documents is not the answer.  Start over.

Where Christianity is concerned, we have a better grasp on the language, grammar, and meanings of those times than we ever had.  Let us take a current translation of original texts and come up with a more accurate scripture.  Those books that cannot be verified, or that have questionable origin, may be included but need to be noted with their issues.  All the books that were left out of the bible need to be re-examined and offered up as relevant to the times.  New material that has come to light in recent years needs to be examined as to age related to the "original" text and then used to possibly update poorly transcribed, translated, or interpreted pages.  We need to have a complete picture that, perhaps, one book will not suffice to cover, and then we need to agree on the meaning behind the words, remembering how we expect God to be the loving, forgiving, Father.

This will never happen.  But further misinterpreting of sacred documents that have already gone through thousands of years of misinterpreting will do nothing more than muddy already polluted waters.  What we teach of what those documents have to offer is an entirely different issue.  We need to adopt a new paradigm to how we teach and preach "religions of peace."  

As with freedom of speech, perhaps we can try to agree on the clear and present dangers in teaching an interpretation of peace that is steeped in "imminent lawless action."  Any religious sect that condones the killing of peace and innocence in the name of their god, needs to answer to the parent religion for their crimes.  Any religion that approves of these atrocities needs to be held accountable by the rest of the world for crimes against humanity.  It isn't what is written that is necessarily evil; it is how we read what is written than determines whether it is good or bad.  

Our belief, or faith, our concept of all that is, rests solely on our interpretations.  It's just as thought, mind you, but, if what we read can't be interpreted as morally pure, loving, peaceful, and righteous, maybe it isn't our interpretation.  Maybe it's a bad document?

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Vaccinating Our Children

"Have you touched the vaccine debate on your blog? I don't think it's really a religious debate, but might be interesting to see your viewpoint. I thought this was an interesting article, 'Growing Up Unvaccinated'. 

It seems like all anyone is talking about these days is vaccines and measles so I'd be interested to see your take on the matter!"

-- Annie

Annie is my daughter, and that Munchkin drawn above is her daughter.  She also has a little boy, and that all means I have grandkids.  She is one great mom, and I couldn't be prouder of her.  Back in September of 2013, I was working on a post, Breast Feeding Controversy.  I knew she had thoroughly researched this prior to her own motherhood and would have great input so asked her to include her own opinion in my post.  So, in kind, she is asking for my humble opinion on childhood vaccinations.

First off, it actually is a religious, as well as secular, issue.  I point anyone interested in the religious issues to visit this link, http://www.immunize.org/concerns/religious.asp, where you will find a fairly comprehensive list of references to other links on the subject.  When there are Christians who would risk their health, and that of their children, on their faith in God, you bet your buns we have need of serious religious conversations amongst not only the Christian community, but every religious organization.  It is hard to eradicate plague in the world unless the world is on the same page about the cure.   There are many cultures and religions that believe in alternative and naturopathic healing to the exclusion of all else.  Is this a healthy mindset?  I have had this discussion more than once.

Where faith is concerned, I would hate to risk the life of a child on my questionable faith in God.  Not to say I don't have faith, but what if God requires the faith of a saint for such a miracle?  I am no saint, so the child is forfeit due to my unworthiness.  Miracles happen for reasons known only to God.  I think that if you ask for Gods divine intervention, look for a doctor to walk through the door with a needle.  God gave us a brain to develop medical science, so this is us praying for something already slapping us in the face.  What if there is no ready cure?  Start praying that we either find one or God feels like bestowing a random miracle.  God has given us the gift of a brain to achieve all that we need.  To deny a child the resulting product of God's gift would seem rather ignorant and selfish, not to mention slighting God.  And what if the medicines don't work?  Sometimes the big picture eludes us.  Sometimes it is all part of the greater plan.  Most people would say that is pure bullshit.  I would ask how strong their faith is.

Let's set faith and religion aside, however, and just look at the issue of vaccination as a whole.  Where have vaccinations brought us to in the world?

The first smallpox vaccine was developed in 1796, and for obvious reasons it took until 1979 to finally eradicate the disease that killed up to 60% of infected adults and over 80% of infected children.  To put it in perspective, it is estimated, in just those first 79 years of the 20th century, 300 million people died of smallpox.  Was the vaccine worth the effort?  

But what about the side effects we don't know about?

When I was just a child I remember getting the oral polio vaccine at school.  We were trying to eradicate this menace to society as well.  The downside of the early, cheaper, vaccine was the risk of contracting polio through it.  One case per 2.4 million doses and those were often due to an immune deficiency; little solace for those who contracted it, but were the risks worth it?  Polio was all but eradicated in the U.S by the 1980s.

My point here is the old concept of risk versus reward.  Is the risk associated with a vaccine worth the reward of not contracting the ailment?  I think the risks need to be weighed and solid information on those risks needs to be made available so informed decisions can be made.  The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) do a good job of tracking vaccines that may be violating the risk/reward concept and stop vaccinations or limit them to those people not at risk to any side effects.  As we have seen with the latest flu vaccine, information was made available as to the efficacy of the available vaccine.  It wasn't so much the risk/reward as it was achieving any reward, as it was not all that effective against the current flu virus.  For most of us older folks, the chances of dying from the pneumonia epidemic that seemed to be plaguing us was greater than preventing the flu.  I figured I could survive the flu only if I didn't have pneumonia, so I got the flu shot but made sure I got the pneumonia shot as well.  If the flu shot didn't work, at least I had a fighting chance against it if I could breathe.

As adults most of us can make educated judgment calls concerning our own health.  I'm not sure we can make, or maybe have the right to make those same judgment calls for our children.  Do we have the right to withhold a vaccine that may save our child from diseases that sweep through our society when an inoculation that has a 1:2.4 million chance of harming them is available?  Risk/reward would say no; give the child the damned vaccine!  But, as a grandparent, that statement alone is enough to give one reason for pause.

I think medical science is doing to best they can to ensure our health and survival.  Suing the drug companies that develop these lifesaving vaccines do no one any good.  Luckily laws have been passed to shield these companies from the 1:2.4 million that might die.  Institutional Review Boards are one element of checks and balances used to ensure patient safety by tracking adverse events due to new pharmaceuticals and medical devices that come to market.  If too many events occur, the parent company and the FDA are notified and a decision is made to pull the dangerous item from use.  This is but one safeguard in the risk/reward criteria.

Some folks have been trying to link vaccines to autism.  I have heard this is bunk, and there is no concrete evidence of such.  I think this might fall under the predisposed due to an immune deficiency, or perhaps it was a fault in the vaccine batch, than to just blatantly point a finger at vaccines as a whole.  Until I hear this from someone I respect that can validate their comment, this kind of fear mongering is just irresponsible in my view. 

But, pooh happens.  Sometimes pooh happens to good people, by good people with all the right intentions.  We have safety valves in place to stop things from going very wrong, but things do go wrong.  This is all part of the risk/reward.   To say we don't know this when we, or our children, get the vaccine, is being a tad delusional in my view.  But, how does blaming the company developing the cure solve anything, unless they're guilty of seriously egregious misconduct in failing to look out for human safety?  Have you actually read the possible side effects for the aspirin you take or the cough medicine you spoon down your child's throat?  Be real, we risk our lives, and our health on a daily basis.  We are only human, and we can only hope we learn from our mistakes.

The biggest concern I think anyone can have would be the genetic problems we create that might not be caught for several years, or might present in some insidiously subtle fashion.  Damned if you do; damned if you don't.  The decision is a tough call at the best of times, much less when Ebola threatens to burn its way across the globe.

Do your homework; listen to the "experts," then weigh the risk against the reward.  At the end of the day the decision is yours.  As for me, if I feel I'm at risk, or if I'll pose a risk to anyone around me, I'll take the vaccine.  I think it is criminal negligence tantamount to a crime against humanity, not to self-quarantine yourself when you're at risk of having been exposed to Ebola.  I'll take the vaccine, and pray.  As for anything else, well... it's just the flu, right? 

That's my take on vaccines and children, or anybody for that matter.  I emphasize that this is just my opinion, and may not reflect that of people more knowledgeable on the subject, doctors, researchers, pharmacists, virologists, lawyers, and my mother.  Further information about vaccines might best be gleaned from somebody that actually knows what they're talking about.  My 17 years with an Institutional Review Board was spent more doing corporate liaison work, and less on the regulatory side of the house.  As a start I think I'd be asking mega questions of my family doctor come vaccine season.  The Centers for Disease Control has also compiled a list of vaccines and their side possible effects.

Those interested in the history of vaccines might check out this site, www.historyofvaccines.org.  Instead of restating what they've already written, I have excerpted the description and mission statement explaining something about the site.  I found it rather interesting:

Background:  The History of Vaccines is an award-winning informational, educational website created by The College of Physicians of Philadelphia, one of the oldest medical societies in the United States. A group of prominent Philadelphia physicians, including Declaration of Independence signer Benjamin Rush, established the College in 1787 “to advance the science of medicine and to thereby lessen human misery.”

Mission Statement:  The College has created The History of Vaccines to provide a living, changing chronicle of the compelling history of vaccination, from pre-Jennerian variolation practices, to the defeat of polio in the Western Hemisphere, to cutting-edge approaches to novel vaccines and vaccine delivery. The site aims to increase public knowledge and understanding of the ways in which vaccines, toxoids, and passive immunization work, how they have been developed, and the role they have played in the improvement of human health.
The site also discusses some of the controversies about vaccination and some of the challenges, difficulties, and tragic events that have occurred in the use of vaccines. 

Much of the historical material that appears on The History of Vaccines comes from The College’s Historical Medical Library and its wealth of rare books, medical journals, manuscripts, and archives.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.