Stress (Corrected and republished from 1/7/2016)

 

My stress, in life, ended when I became "debt-free."  My only debts, per se, were rent and car insurance.  I never lived beyond my means for a rental, and only had liability on my used vehicles.  Two things were obvious for me.  One, I worked to pay rent. Everyone has to live somewhere.  Two, I could dump the car anytime. I always worked close enough to walk from home.

Marriage, for me, was stressful for another two reasons.  The love was unrequited and created spiraling debt that occurs when one, or both of you, care so much less about spending habits.  The plus to having your own credit cards and accounts before a divorce is that everyone becomes responsible for their own debt.  The upside, if there can be an upside to thoughtlessness, is that both of you, hopefully, get a wake-up call to enabling bad habits, and bad decisions. I divorced her.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

--Epicurus

There are other things I will not abide by in my life, that will cause me stress. One is that I abhor people who think they're smart enough to use me without me knowing they're doing it, including "friends," family, and people saying they "love" me. If they're succeeding, it's only because I have allowed it, for my own reasons. The fact they think I don't know they're using me simply pisses me off, it means I have allowed dumbasses into my life. The second is perpetually miserable people. I see no reason to enable their continued misery, especially in my life. The third is misery in my own life. Being miserable accomplishes nothing but making other people miserable by being around you, and what fun is that, for anybody?

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."

-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

And, finally, is being in debt.  By being "debt-free" I work because I want to, not because I have to.  I allow "stress" at work because it is interesting, not because I have to endure it. Being debt-free means you can tell the boss to shove it, at the drop of a hat, and not have to stress over the consequences of your actions.  This is a great ability to have in your inventory, and a great feeling.

"Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

--Winnie the Pooh

Stress is good for only one thing - getting rid of it.  The best way to rid yourself of stress is not to allow yourself to have it; don't put yourself in a position where stress rules you, always know you are accepting the stress for a damned good reason and get rid of it as soon as possible.  The biggest problem with stress is that it's like eating the wrong foods; a second on the lips, an eternity on the hips.  Many times, the things that cause us stress are much harder to get rid of than they were to obtain.  Like waking up with the wrong person in bed next to you after trying one the night before. The first thing you realize is... uh oh.  It is so much better to slow down and keep your wits about you.  There is absolutely no decision, so important that you have to make it immediately.  Learn to take a moment and consider your options and there are always options.  The decisions are yours.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

The biggest stresses in my life have been, in reality, those which I have created for myself.  They were stresses which were caused by bad decision making, not following sound advice, and not getting rid of the damned stress, getting shed of the situation, when I realized I had created it.  If you live in stress, how can you hope to be truly happy?

"God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

"Winnie the Pooh" tells us, "To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." To the educated, I offer, that if we used "one" in lieu of A or AN, we could eliminate one word by eliminating two.  This has absolutely nothing to do with stress, but I just thought of it so I wanted to share it.

Contrary to a popular song, one is not the loneliest number.  One is the most important number.  One is already more than zero, and one is a number that draws other numbers to it.  You must realize that, in your short life, you are number one.  Take care of number one.  If you can't take care of yourself, how can you ever hope to take care of others?  If you can't love yourself, how can you ever hope to love others?

"I used to believe in forever

But forever's too good to be true."

-- Winnie the Pooh

We have a finite time in life, to find happiness.  Many of us never will.  Many of us start out believing in forever, just to find out forever is too good to be true.  I prefer to believe in forever.  I prefer to think that one life bleeds into the next, and I'd rather not live forever in a state of stressful misery.  If you don't get straight in this life you will have to get straight in the next, or the next.  There is no time like the present to decide upon happiness.  There is no time like now to say "NO" to stress.  You can carry that stress around with you, filling your glass with it.  How much stress do you want to carry? And, for how long?  It is entirely your decision.

Maybe, it's time to put the glass down.

"Even as fire finds peace in its resting place without fuel, when thoughts become silence the soul finds peace in its own source. When the mind is silent, then it can enter into a world which is far beyond the mind. This is wisdom, and this is liberation."

--The Upanishads

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Soulmates, Me, Touching, Sex, Activity, and Love

 

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

-- Candace Bushnell

Do you believe in soulmates or that people come into your life for a reason?

Yes, it happens to me all the time.

Have you proven to yourself that age is just a number after 70?

I’m 71, and my age is counting down. I feel pretty good, but what I feel and know is quite different. I will start feeling old age shortly. And then, around 90, I will probably go to the next life. I don’t fear it. It is the natural progress of life: Birth, life, death, and rebirth.

Why am I told I am wrong so often when I am being authentic and honest?

So… who is wrong? Being “authentic and honest” is more than the other folks are doing.

Questioner: I am no philosopher, but will reread this a few more times and come back to it. (Feeling kind of out of my depth, yet I was the one who initiated the question!)

My reply: Indeed. 

  Why is forgiveness so hard for some people, and how can it be practiced?

I’m not so sure it is that hard. Forgiveness is the easiest thing we can do. Practice it? Okay... forgive somebody, and then forgive somebody else. If they are wrong, forgive them for being wrong. If they are right, forgive yourself for doubting them. People who don’t practice forgiveness are missing out on the easiest thing we can do.

What is your one golden rule in life?

Honesty. You can be an asshole, but be an honest asshole.

What do I really love?

Search me. I love ice cream, and several women I know. Okay, so that is infatuation. What you really love is up to you, not us. Search your soul and you can find a few things that you really love.

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

-- Annie Proulx

What does it mean when I like who I am more when I'm not in a relationship?

Relationships are not your cup of tea… yet. When the right person comes along, you will fall over yourself to get close to them. Until then…

What do humans need and long for the most?

Love.

"Animals betray you when they are hungry, and humans betray you when they are satisfied." Do you agree with this saying?

No. It is ignorant. If you are going to betray someone, it is who you are. I have never betrayed anyone, but that’s who I am. Maybe if we’re in a game, but not anything serious. The saying puts people into groups that they may not deserve.

Why am I always tired and angry every day?

You are angry because you are tired. Try to relax. 

To what extent is morality being influenced by money?

If you let your good morality be influenced by money, you are a weak-minded person. Good morality should be on everyone’s mind and be “influenced” by being good.

I am buying a lighter even though I don't smoke, so that if someone smokes, I can hand them a lighter, and I am going to have extra change on me, just in case a homeless person needs change; does this make me a considerate person?

So, you are helping the smoker to die and helping the homeless to live. Make no sense.

Author comment: I want to have what people need, on me, as I expect others to have what I need as well. For me, I would like for people to always have Advil on them in case I don't have it. It's just consideration. The smoking thing ok yeah people aren't supposed to smoke, but I like to know I have what people need/want in that moment.

My reply: Again, you are helping the smoker to die. Makes no sense. 

“The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.”

-- Allen Carr

How do you make a girl fall in love with you by touching her?

It depends on where you touch her, for how long, and what your eyes tell her. It is the same "game" we have played for decades. The difference is, do you mean it?

If a person has reasons to be grateful to another person, does this mean that the former person is indebted to the latter person?

To do something that someone would be grateful for is not a reason for the other person to do anything. What was done was selfless. Of course, if you did something to put the other person in debt to you, how selfish would that be?

Can I (a guy) be goofy but at the same time mature?

It is hard to balance the two. Maybe, it is time to grow up. Just sayin.

What does “in the end, you only have yourself” mean?

In the beginning, you also only have yourself. If you rely on anybody but yourself, anytime, you will probably be disappointed. You have a life. It is your life. You can’t rely on anybody to live it for you.

Which Biblical commandments are most essential for salvation?

Every law but, “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” I’m not even sure that Sunday is the Sabbath day.

What is the meaning of, "Hold your head high and keep your chin up."?

It makes you a good target. Only dumbasses go into a fight with their "head held high" and their chin up. It is better to be humble until you need to kick ass. It takes people by surprise.

“Carry your head gracefully”

-- Chinonye J. Chidolue

I hate sex. I have no desire to be touched or have sex. What should I do?

Don’t have sex. It isn’t rocket science.

Why is my sister such a twat?

Well, you have a high opinion of your sister. Maybe she is a “twat” because you treat her like one. 

Is it okay to use sex to get what you want?

No.

I’m a 15-year-old guy, who feels like there is nothing to do in life. None of my friends really hang out and all I do is play video games all day. I’m bored but feel like there is nothing to do. I want to do something with my life. Any advice?

Join a gym. Working out keeps your mind and body in good shape. You might find that working out puts muscle where you need it. When you are 18, they might even take you as a trainer.

Why do I have to live in this world?

Which world would you prefer?

Is life only for the living?

Well, the definition of “life” is for those who are living. If you are dead, you aren’t living, but you might be in “transition” to another life. There, you are born and continue on your journey as a living soul. You can continue your trek by learning all that you can in every life.

Reader comment: Can I be both dead and alive?

My reply: No.

Reader reply: Why not, if I believe it strongly enough?

My reply:  Believing in a falsehood will not make it come true. You will die and be reborn. I believe this strongly, but, it doesn’t make it a fact.

"Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid."

-- Langston Hughes 

What activity is happier than playing my favorite computer games?

Fishing and camping in the great outdoors.

Is it bad if you don’t know how to cook at 22?

Is it your fault, or your parents? Good parenting requires dressing the child for appropriate occasions. The other requirement is cooking a meal. My mother made sure I was dressed. I grew up with a Sicilian, and my dad ensured I could cook.

What kind of life do you think is to enjoy life and live the life you want?

I want to be filthy rich.

Can you share a time when you successfully overcame fear? What lessons did you take away from that experience?

Death. Being in Air Force Intelligence, I had to get the classified material from a B-52 that went into a vacant lot. The smells and sights were horrific. You can feel for the families, but you have a job you need to do. I volunteered a couple of more times at crash sites. You need to focus on the job at hand.

Is it possible to have moral principles with amorality? How?

Yes, but it can be confusing. You start to find ways to make amorality a bit more moral.

Why do you work hard for decades yet have nothing but your life to show for it?

Maybe if you stay out of debt, you will have much to show for it. Debt is the killer for having nothing to show for your life. Oh, you will have a lot, but it doesn’t really belong to you. You are in debt. People are in debt from cradle to grave. And when you die, those who loaned all the money come to get what they can.

"Debt gives you the ability to look like you're winning when you're not"

-- Dave Ramsey

Most people will do anything for love, but what won’t you do?

Anything illegal. She will be out, and I’ll be in prison. The thought sucks.

I help a lot to poor people and friends. I do not want a reward in return. Will my life always go sad forever?

If you don’t want a reward, you are a “selfless” helper. As a selfless helper, why is your life sad? Maybe you should get monetarily happy, first, if that will make you happy. Throughout my life, I tried to help people selflessly. It made me very happy to help others. Maybe you need to look at your life and make some adjustments. It is not a good thing if you are not constantly sad.

Why are people good even though they do bad things?

If they do bad things, then they really aren’t good, are they?

Do most men harass women? Why or why not?

I don’t harass women. It isn’t the way I was brought up. Harassing women is a way to never get a quality woman to love you. Not a good end game. I have stepped in, more than once, when a woman was being harassed, and got my clock cleaned. It doesn’t prevent me from stepping up to do the right thing.

What would be the outcome of a world where morality is absent but ethics are present?

“Ethics” would be in great question, where good morality is absent.

Is it bad to be always good?

It depends on what you think is “bad” about always being good. Those who are always good seem to have no problem.

"I've never lived my life in the opinion of others. I believe I'm a good person. I believe I'm a good mom. But that's for my kids to decide, not for the world."

-- Angelina Jolie

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Living, Altruism, Value, Church, Learning, and Life

 

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

-- Mark Twain

What do I do when I don't see the point in living anymore?

If you are in reasonable health, what’s your point? Are you tired of learning? That is the entire point of your life - to learn. If you end your life, there will be no more. As a learner, you are useful in life. If you continue to fail at your prime directive, there is no use for you. Start learning and get on the train for the next life.

What if Earth was autistic?

What? You need to think about this.

Do you think inspiration is something we find, or does it find us? Why?

Inspiration is something we find. You can sit in front of a project until you come up with an inspiration. You will have an “Aha!” moment, as your inspiration explodes in your brain.

Is being a human being good?

If you are a good human, then, yes.

What do I do, when my best isn't good enough?

It is what it is. You can try harder. Your “best” might be better. In this case, your “best” really might not be your best.

What are the best ways to painlessly end life?

Slip into a coma. Any other way can be painful. That makes suicide… ignorant.

“You knew when you saw those eyes he was going to die soon. There was no sign of life in his flesh, just the barest trace of what had once been a life. His body was like a dilapidated old house from which all the fixtures and fittings had been removed, awaiting its final demolition. Around the dry lips clumps of whiskers sprouted like weeds. So, I thought, even after so much of a man's life force has been lost, his beard continues to grow.”

-- Haruki Murakami

What is wrong with altruism?

“The belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others” has nothing wrong with it. The problem is that many people don’t practice it enough.

Is life not what I think?

Your life is what you make of it. It may not be perfect, but it is yours. Try harder.

Why is knowledge really important for our future?

Our prime directive on this plane of existence is to learn. If we all learn, we will have a glut of knowledge. In order for us to move into the future with our heads held high, we need to do it with the knowledge we have gathered. Or, we can sit around a fire in a cave and grunt at each other. Given the choice, I’d really like to take our knowledge to the future. Knowledge will make the future a bit brighter.

Why do we have to do things in this life?

You don’t. You don’t have to do anything. You can be a bump on a log.

Is it alright to have sex with an ex who cheated on me?

If you have sex with a person you were married to, that cheated on you, what does this say about you? They will continue to cheat. The only thing you get is sex because they need it, not because you want it. If you have sex with an ex who cheated on you, you are simple-minded. 

Dark chocolate is bad. Do you agree?

Try this:

“Eating dark chocolate with high cocoa content in moderation can deliver antioxidants and minerals and may help protect you from heart disease. But it may also contain high amounts of sugar and calories. Dark chocolate is loaded with nutrients that can positively affect your health. Made from the seed of the cacao tree, it’s one of the best sources of antioxidants you can find. Studies show that dark chocolate can improve your health and lower the risk of heart disease.”

-- Healthline

How can I stop being worthless and have value?

You have the potential value, but you have not exercised it. Stop thinking you are worthless and move forward with vigor. Find a goal and strive to conquer it.

If nobody needs me, do I still need to be alive? Why?

To learn. Learning is the prime directive for life. If you aren’t alive, we are missing a learner. That means other people need to take up the slack you left. They need to learn the stuff you didn’t want to learn. And, you might bump into people that need you. You never know what will happen.

What renews your faith in humans?

If they practice true selflessness.

How do I know that my future is going to be okay?

Do you strive to be truly happy always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances? If you aren’t, you have a problem. If you are always happy, the future doesn’t matter. What matters is what is happening right now, and if you are truly happy, "now" is great.

What do you do if you live a lifetime in a day?

Sex of a lifetime… for a day. Let’s get to it!

When will everything be okay?

If you are alive, everything is okay. Celebrate your life and whatever lesson you are learning, because learning is why we are here. Don’t think that learning is drama. Learning is the prime directive for life.

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why doesn't anybody go to church anymore?

In the South, the churches are packed.

Why do we strive to live, when life is totally against us?

Life isn’t against you. Everybody might be against you, but life is what it is. You need to change what you’re doing and see what is “totally against you” lightens up.

Should everybody mind their own business?

Wouldn’t that be great?

Why is life so important, and what is the meaning of life?

Life is important because I’m alive. This might not please you, but it tickles the hell out of me. The fact that I’m alive lets me learn everything I can before I die and move on to the next life, where I can learn more.

What is life? What gives the meaning of life?

Learning. It is the prime directive. Learn all you can, before you move on to the next life. 

Why won’t God hear me if I have sin uncontested?

God hears you. But, the sin you have, that is uncontested, should be taken care of - by you. God wants us to take care of our own life before we move on to the next life If you don’t take care of it here, you will be taking care of it in the next life. 

“Sin is the inveterate tendency of human beings to serve themselves rather than God, or their neighbors, or the creation God gave them. Even my efforts to get rid of it will inevitably - somewhere, somehow - be tainted by self-serving. I can corrupt any act, however good… Sin is not just “bad action”; it’s a condition of all the actions of the fallen race… Our actions are never going to be able to bring about the ultimate triumph of goodness over evil."

-- Robert Farrar Capon

Is it true that our purpose in life is to love God and others?

Our purpose is to learn. Loving God and others is what we are supposed to be all about.

What do you do if you can't do anything when you know what's coming?

Run around like Chicken Little, screaming that the sky is falling. Or, you can just accept the inevitable, you can’t do anything about what’s coming. If the earth was going to explode tomorrow, there is nothing I can do about it… but screw my brains out, for 24 hours.

Do you want to become awesome?

I’m already there.

How does education contribute to personal and professional growth?

If you are serious about your education, learning is paramount. The right education will contribute to your personal and professional growth by teaching you what you will have to know. Learning is up to each of us.

How do you find true fulfillment in your career?

Enjoy what you do in your career. I enjoyed the heck out of my Intelligence career.

What's the purpose of living when your purpose in life is just to survive?

Are you learning anything about survival? That is the “purpose” of survival, you can learn from it. If you have learned nothing from it, life has been a waste of your time. Start learning.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Is it true that only you can change your life, no one else can do it for you?

Others can change your life if you let them. But, you have to let them. It is your life, and you are in charge of it. If you let others change your life, you have allowed it to happen. This is why a revolution happens. People don’t agree being under the thumb of bad leadership. It is your life.

What life experiences taught you to find meaning in suffering?

Six weeks of Air Force Basic Training, and a couple of months of Intelligence tech school.

What does "living life" really mean to you specifically?

To live your life, every minute that you are on this planet fully. And, to not let drama tamp down the happiness you are supposed to enjoy in life.

Why does life never promise to be easy?

Because you are the one who is supposed to make life easy. It is your promise.

What life will make you a better person?

The life I’ve lived has made me a better person. You don’t have a choice of your life. You make the best of what you have - your life. You make sure that it makes you a better person, in the end. If you fail at this, you have failed at life. You have to start all over again and try to make it great. Be truly happy in all things, regardless of your circumstances. If you can’t do this, you need to change the direction of your life. 

Is true randomness possible, or is everything determined by underlying patterns?

Have you tossed dice at the “craps” table? Randomness is always possible.

“If you hear a "prominent" economist using the word 'equilibrium,' or 'normal distribution,' do not argue with him; just ignore him, or try to put a rat down his shirt.”

-- Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Leo (Updated from 1/10/2016)

Felice Leonardo "Leo" Buscaglia PhD (1924-1998)
"Dr. Love"

Felice Leonardo Buscaglia was born in Los Angeles, CA on March 31, 1924 into a family of Italian immigrants. He spent his early childhood in Aosta, Italy, before going back to the United States for education.  After Navy service in World War II, Buscaglia entered the University of Southern California where he earned three degrees before eventually joining the faculty. Upon retirement, Buscaglia was named Professor at Large, one of only two such designations on campus at that time.

While teaching at USC, Buscaglia was moved by a student's suicide to contemplate human disconnectedness and the meaning of life, and began a non-credit class he called Love 1A. This became the basis for his first book, titled simply LOVE. His dynamic speaking style was discovered by the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) and his televised lectures earned great popularity in the 1980s. At one point his talks, always shown during fund raising periods, were the top earners of all PBS programs. This national exposure, coupled with the heartfelt storytelling style of his books, helped make all of his titles national Best Sellers; five were once on the New York Times Best Sellers List simultaneously.

Buscaglia died of a heart attack on June 12, 1998 at his home in Glenbrook, Nevada, near Lake Tahoe. He was 74.

-- Excerpts from wikipedia.org: Leo Buscaglia

I happened upon Leo Buscaglia one day on television.  He was giving the first of his series on love.  He was eloquent and driven, passionate about the subject, and I was riveted.  In the 1980s I had just returned from a "short tour" in Incerlik, Turkey, and was celebrating 30 years of life on this planet. Also, by the 1980s, my marriage was a shambles, anger and frustration over my own in ability to salvage it was destroying what was left of it. In many ways, Leo was responsible for teaching me life, destroying my life, and rebuilding my life.  At thirty some years of age, I was to learn what love was, from a man I didn't even know, and it would change my life forever.

"I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy. It's not giving a damn."

I struggled with my marriage for another 15 years or so before it finally became painfully evident I was the only one working on it.  The outcome of this is finding I was a stubborn fool trying to ride a horse, without enough common sense to realize the horse was dead.  You can throw all the love you have at a rock; the rock will not love you back.  This was where I found myself at the beginning of the new millenia - riding a dead horse and loving a rock.  As I found myself contemplating putting an end to pain, as I had come to define it. I remembered the words of Leo:

"I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and say, 'No, I won't do it, I won't behave his way anymore. I'm lonely and I need people around me, maybe I have to change my methods of behaving,' and then you do it."

Watching and listening to Leo Buscaglia taught me about life.  What I found in his words concerning love taught me what I needed to learn about life and love, just before it destroyed my life, because it needed destroying.  My life was already dead and I was just too stupid to realize it.  After I finished burning my life to the ground and put out the ashes, remembering his teachings helped me to rebuild my life with a new understanding of what life, and love, really meant.  I surrounded myself with people, good friends, capable of living and loving, and it turned my life around.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Now, one might say, I'm speaking of this man as if he were a savior.  Yeah, I guess I am, in a sense.  When you listen to Leo... when you listen to what he says and how he says it, it is easy to put yourself back 2024 years.  It is easy to see how captivating Jesus may have seemed, to the people of the day.

"Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love."

I invite you, this day, and every day, to enjoy the words of Leo Buscaglia.  I think you will find, after a few minutes, you'll need to go get a drink and a sandwich so you can hunker down for the long haul.  I have included the link for the series, Leo Buscaglia - Speaking of Love (1-6).  My hope is that you will find the man as captivating as I did, and still do.

"The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises."

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Persuading to Believe? (Updated and corrected from 1/4/2016)

Are science and religion compatible?  Some would say if your religion happens to be science, then yes, they are.  I'm not a scientist, yet I see a great need for science in the evolution of humanity.  I'm also not a great theologian, and even I have faith in some of what I don't see, a "faith" in something, some power greater than myself, greater than all of us, and everything.  I think, one day, science will find proof of the forces of darkness and light, of good and evil, in our universe.  Science will also prove we have the ability through our faith, or lack thereof, to draw these forces into our realm and to strengthen or weaken those same forces, or to banish either from our lives.  

For the spiritual among us, Saint Augustine defined our ability to step up in the face of science's lack of required proof by explaining, "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."  Science and faith are not mutually exclusive.  Science continually validates our faith in a power greater than ourselves, yet, scientists find it hard to give religion a pass.  This may be confusing to the pure scientist, who insists the universe can always be explained with science.  The scientist has no concept of why the faithful can see God's hand working in all things.  

I wonder if it ever occurred to science, that putting the hand of God into their equations might make more sense than leaving it out.  Science is supposed to consider everything in the search for truth, yet if the majority of science doesn't consider the hand of God, aren't they guilty of not considering everything in their work?  Couldn't one claim the lack of considering everything poor scientific method, even if part of that being considered, is itself unproven?  How many times has science said "impossible" just to have that same "impossible" sneak up from behind and bite them in the ass?

"...credibility is one of the most useful tools a Christian has in trying to persuade those skeptical of the Christian faith."

-- Dr. Jeff Zweerink

Science will never be able to disprove the existence of God as long as all the proof they deny continues to accumulate strength in that belief there is a supreme power at work in the universe.  What name science gives this power, is of little consequence to the true person of faith who will simply smile and say, "Yes, you are correct.  This is a power we, of faith, call God."  

I disagree with Dr. Jeff Zweerink when he states "credibility is one of the most useful tools a Christian has in trying to persuade those skeptical of the Christian faith."  I disagree with it for only one reason; it presupposes people of faith should be trying to persuade skeptics.  You cannot persuade a skeptic, that does not want to believe, any more than you can save the poor from their poverty if they don't want to work.  There will always be poor and skeptics among us.  Persuasion has a nasty tendency to morph into "demanding" or "involuntary compliance" which is evidenced throughout history and, as an aside, is currently playing out in radical Islamic sociopathic philosophy.

One cannot be persuaded to believe unless they have a desire to do so. It is a fundamental truth that you can enslave a free body but you can never enslave a free mind, as long as that mind is able and willing to exercise the ability to choose.  We can choose to be slaves, or we can choose not to be.  We can choose to believe and we can also choose not to.  The credibility of an argument to persuade is only as good as the data, and the interpretation of that data being presented.  

Any factual data on faith, religion, God, etc., has little meaning if the faith in one's interpretation falls on deaf ears.  Radical Islam produces an interpretation of "facts" (scripture) for which they have great faith, yet one does not need to have great knowledge of the Qur'an to know that any loving God would not condone the outright slaughter of innocence put on this world by that very same God.  This is tantamount to a religion admitting God makes mistakes. I would bring up Adam and Eve, but...

How can we ever hope to persuade when we have scripture, rife with angels delivering messages to mankind, admitting mistakes that God wishes man to make right?  Mistakes?  Wouldn't we have to suppose God's plan went a tad askew if God wants man to straighten something out?  Wouldn't it make more sense to see that God puts innocence in the world and expects man to protect it at all costs?

Wouldn't it make more sense to point out to the followers of evil that, perhaps, their interpretation of the simple desires of God might, as usual, have been screwed up by mankind?  How much persuasion is necessary when you can show any mother the film or photos of Islamic heretics cutting five-year-old children in half?  When motherhood accepts the slaughter of innocence, what possible argument, credible or not, can ever convince this kind of evil their path is not righteous?

So, what factual persuasion are we left with?  What scientific persuasion should we rely on?  In the case of evil infecting our world, will the "good" of mankind take up arms against the "evil" and do as one network news contributor recommended, "Kill them all, kill them all again, and then kill their dog." Is this the only solution evil will understand?  When does scientific fact bow to a philosophy of faith in the battle of good and evil?  It would seem we might want to consider that, even philosophically, there is room for good scientific process, tempered, and assisted, by righteous spiritual faith, as much as there is room for the same, good, scientific process, to prove belief in that very same spiritual faith.

One needs to ask, why in all our religious and spiritual philosophies, scientific endeavor is allowed a role, yet, science denies the existence of a power that might just help provide essential proof for some complicated theory?  If we were to ask a scientist, we might find an equation where a symbol has been used to cause a theory to make sense, to make the theory probable, if not possible.  Gee, all we would have to do is persuade the scientific community to name that symbol, that "particle" if you will, "God."

Persuade science to name something a God Particle?  Wouldn't hell freeze over first, that is, if science concedes to hell's existence?  Well, it would seem we're spending billions of dollars in a scientific search of the very element, the being of which many in the scientific community would deny the existence of, and probably deny it many more than three times.  

Maybe we should have a little faith.  Heaven only knows, the "answer" might just present Itself. Wouldn't that be something?  What could it hurt?

Just saying.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Stupid, Authenticity, Evil, Religion, and Hurt

 

"It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts."

-- Tre Cool

Does one become wiser with age, or does one end up stupid?

If you want to be wiser, it is easy. It is also easy to continue being stupid. Being ignorant is better than being a "stupid" oaf. It is all about what you want to be. 

What are the "golden rules" we can apply in ourselves, usually as students?

Be kind, honest, truthful, and selfless. You can do this throughout your life.

How do you overcome the feeling of impostor syndrome? If anyone relates/has been through it, what helped you? I just feel stuck in life right now.

I was assigned to Air Force Intelligence. It was easy to be an imposter… if you wanted to. The best help I can give you is, to not be who you aren’t. It is so much easier to be yourself.

What’s the best piece of advice you have that changed the way you think and act?

Don’t be who you aren’t.

I want to join a cult so that I can have meaning in my life. What's a good cult to join?

Gee, this is a hard one. The best cults that exist are religious. Only get involved with religious cults that have good intentions, are helpful, and are selfless. “World Religions” by Michael D. Coogan, will give you a list.

Do you have any quotes about unity?

Try this:

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools"

-- Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I value authenticity. I stay away from people who don't support my values and ambitions. Why do people fail to apply authenticity in their lives?

As you get older, you start to apply authenticity to your life. I was a lucky one. I joined Air Force Intelligence and found what “authenticity” was, in my life. I don’t hang around people who aren’t authentic. Luckily, most of my friends are military retirees, and they are “authentic”.

Is someone who is aware of their own pretensions better people than those who aren't aware?

If you are aware and don’t act on your pretensions, you can be a better person than those who aren’t aware.

What morals have been the most consistent in history?

Morals. Consistent with who? I can’t think of a moral that has been consistent with anyone. Morals have a bad track record. Between lying and cheating… I’m not sure anyone has been that good. Maybe the Dalai Lama, but, you’ll have to take his word for it. Again, is he telling the truth?

Can it be true that almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes?

That’s a crap shoot. It may work again, or it may not. Or, it may work for a few minutes and then cut out again. History says there’s something wrong with it.

Is it true that living isn't for everyone?

And, they are usually dead.

What are some ways to deal with failure?

Everybody fails. How you deal with it is the rub. When you fail, you see where you went wrong and try again, and again, and again, until you figure out why you keep failing.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

Is it bad that I relish being as evil as possible?

What do you think?

Why should I read Dostoevsky, and why is he popular?

“Crime and Punishment” is the most famous of his works. He is popular because he writes about Russia in the 19th century. If you have no reason to read about Russia back then, I would steer away from his works. He is touted this way: "Dostoevsky is regarded as one of the greatest and most influential novelists of the “Golden Age of Russian” literature."

If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what color would it be?

Blue.

What motivates you to still do good things?

That I still do good things is not as important as I do them selflessly. If you can’t do good things selflessly, then do good things regardless. Doing good makes the world better to live in.

Is Jesus Christ an immortal God?

No.

To save someone's life, would you break the law if there was no other option?

As a retired military man, I have to say… yes. A life is a valuable thing. If the law doesn’t see the lack of options at hand, so be it. I would have saved a life. Saving a life is more than many people would be able to do.

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Is "human mind enlightenment" a supersaturation of evil?

No. Not unless you want it to be.

What is the one thing that you would always be willing to sacrifice for? Why do you think it is important to make sacrifices even when they may be difficult?

I would be willing to risk my life if there was a chance to save someone from an impending death. It is important to make this difficult sacrifice to show everybody how valuable a single life is.

How do you approach self-discovery when starting later in life?

The same way it is done earlier in life. Age gives you an advantage of wisdom.

If no one else will do it, will you? Why?

If I can, why not? If it isn’t dangerous, then someone needs to do it. Besides, if someone else does it, the cowards will be known. 

As a hateful atheist, what does "live your OWN experience" mean to you? Why do you think you are everything?

Being a Christian, what makes you think an atheist is hateful, living in their own experience, and they think they are everything? I disagree with atheists, but if they keep their opinions to themselves like many Christians should, we would be so much better off.

Do you need a reason to do good or not to do evil?

No. Doing good may be difficult, but it is good. Evil is, well… evil.

“I'm starting to think this world is just a place for us to learn that we need each other more than we want to admit.”

-- Richelle E. Goodrich

Can you provide an example of something that is considered free will, but not related to religion?

Happiness. Strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice.

Do we go through hell, getting into heaven?

No. We are given learning problems to solve. If we can learn, we can move farther into the next life. We are here to learn. That is the prime objective of life. If you learn the answers you move farther into the next life.

Can one man's ignorance be greater than another man’s?

Of course. All people are different. 

Are you grateful for what you have? Why?

I am 71 years old, and I am so grateful for what I have. Why? Because I’m 71 years old. Sour grapes are not in my wheelhouse. I am so grateful for my children, and my grandchildren. Everything else is just drama that I don’t want to recognize. I will leave this life a happy camper. I strive for true happiness, always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances.

How do we know the truth about everything?

You can’t. You can make good guesses, but that’s it. Nobody knows everything.

What is more important in life, "being good" or "being the best"? Why?

Being good, and being the best. “Why” is an ignorant question, but… if you can’t be the best, you can still be good. Being good can go a long way.

“There are tons of things I could and probably should be doing for work right now. But at some point, you have to put it aside and get busy with the things that really matter.”

-- Lisa Wingate

Is life a setup for you to be hurt?

Yes, if you aren’t careful. Not being careful will give life a chance to teach you a lesson. If you learn the lesson, you will be ready for the next time it comes up. Life is full of lessons we need to learn, as we travel through life.

Is life better when you keep to yourself?

Yes, but it isn’t nearly as exciting. 

How did you rebuild your confidence after a failure?

I never had to rebuild my confidence. Failure is life telling you that you’re wrong. You go back and see where you got it wrong. You try again, and again, and until you succeed. You ask those who got it right, where you might have gotten it wrong. You study the right answer so you don’t screw it up again.

How did you come up with this decision to be who you are today?

23 years in Air Force Intelligence. Who knew?

Can hope or goodness be found in our lives?

One can hope you find hope, goodness, and faith in your life. Hope gives birth to faith in your life, and you had better be good. It is the “trifecta” of a great life.

How do you handle the pressures of perfectionism in your life?

Pressure is someone judging you. I am the only one I care about the opinion of, and I will do what I need to. If I made the cut I have tried to be the best. If not, I will try harder the next time. There is no pressure, as pressure is nothing more than drama. I hate drama. “Perfection” is what people see as drama taken to the next level. If I make it, great. If not, I will try the next time. Did I say I hate drama?

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”

-- William Faulkner

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com