Questions of Restraint and Offense

 

“It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because he is not of the same opinion, is a monster.”

-- Voltaire

What does the inertia of a rolling stone have to do with perseverance and being open-minded?

Obviously, someone hasn’t heard of the irresistible force meeting the immovable object. Having said this, I can accept the inertia of a rolling stone’s ability to persevere, but said stone cannot be open-minded, since it has no mind.

Is there anything you consider yourself bad at giving advice on?

Child-rearing. I had two children, now grown, but I never really knew what I was doing. I had a “tough love” kind of childhood, and I was always fighting not being my date, but more my mom. And, yet, I love the innocence of children… until they act out, and then I’m lost. 

Did anyone try to teach you the facts of life, or did you just pick them up on your own?

Mom and dad, bless their hearts for trying, gave me the “birds and the bees” talk, which was absolutely asinine compared to what I learned from friends, classmates, and what I, myself, worked out. Dad would have been better off, initially, asking me to give him what I knew so he could fill in the blanks.

Author's comment:  Hahaha! Aww. That’s so sweet. I remember my Mom’s version of the birds and the bees. We came out of the doctor’s office after my regular checkup when I was about 10 and a half years old.

She looked odd and was quiet. We got in the car and she looked at me and nervously said, “You’re developing now, and soon you’re going to be becoming a woman.” She was struggling to find something else, so I ended her misery by saying, “Ok Mom. That’s good to know.” (Like I knew what she was talking about) and she sighed and looked relieved and we drove home.

My reply:  Lol… Yeah, for lack of anything constructive to say, I just let dad wallow in it. My bad.

“I thought I was going to die right there on the spot. I've never heard anything so terrible in my whole life. I hope she is wrong and I never get a period. I am eleven years old and entirely too young to hear about it. Can you imagine my mother not knowing what Kotex are for and dusting the house with them? Well, her mother can just tell her what they are for. I'm not getting into the facts of life. I haven't heard one fact of life I like yet.”

-- Fannie Flagg

What does it mean to be educated beyond one's intelligence?

One can be very intelligent, yet not be able to chew gum and walk at the same time. There’s a lot to be said for being smart as well as intelligent. Perhaps if one is very intelligent and were to learn some “street smarts,” one would consider themselves educated beyond what they thought was enough. Welcome to the rest of us!

Is there anything you consider yourself bad at giving advice on?

Child-rearing. I had two children, now grown, but I never really knew what I was doing. I had a “tough love” kind of childhood, and I was always fighting not being my date, but more my mom. And, yet, I love the innocence of children… until they act out, and then I’m lost.

How does a person know if he is doing the right thing? Explain in 5 sentences.

Is it morally ethical?  Do you believe it to be right?  Is it good for all involved?  Is it accepted by all involved?  Will it garner happiness?

“Doing what's right is never easy ... You think you're right, but you lose track of what you were trying to do all along and then there's blood and screaming and death. Doing a bad thing for a good end just sours the good.”

-- Janice Hardy

How does "what makes you different" make a difference?

I’m an “inter-faith” minister. Basically, your religious belief is none of my concern. Your spiritual path, what you seek, however, is always interesting to me and worth conversation. I don’t mince words. I call a spade a spade, I curse more than occasionally, and I’m a self-proclaimed hypocrite; don’t do as I do, but you might think about doing as I say. More times than not, I’ve been there and done that.

I’m called to service, occasionally, at the local cigar bar. People know by my demeanor and feedback that I am listening to them. More time than not, when we finish, they have liked what I’ve said and want to know where my "church" is. I open my arms to encompass the interior of the cigar bar, where we are. They're confused that I don’t have a church. I smile and tell them, if they want to go to God’s church, they should step outside and marvel at God’s cathedral. Feel free to take your cigar and beer, God really doesn’t mind.

People tend to like someone to talk to them like a neighbor or a close friend. I can do that because, well, they are… or, soon will be.

What is your #1 favorite quote or adage in the whole history of philosophy?

“The only thing that is constant is change.”  -- Heraclitus

"It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is, again."  -- Me

What is a classic example of harmful knowledge?

It depends on if we discussing how to torture someone and keep them alive, or if you know your best friend’s spouse is cheating on them. Both are “harmful” knowledge, but one reserves you a special place in hell.

“The most dangerous people in the world are not the tiny minority instigating evil acts, but those who do the acts for them. For example, when the British invaded India, many Indians accepted to work for the British to kill off Indians who resisted their occupation. So in other words, many Indians were hired to kill other Indians on behalf of the enemy for a paycheck. Today, we have mercenaries in Africa, corporate armies from the western world, and unemployed men throughout the Middle East killing their own people - and people of other nations - for a paycheck. To act without a conscience, but for a paycheck, makes anyone a dangerous animal. The devil would be powerless if he couldn't entice people to do his work. So as long as money continues to seduce the hungry, the hopeless, the broken, the greedy, and the needy, there will always be war between brothers.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Who is "we" for you?

It depends on the context. It could be the folks down at the cigar bar, my significant other, my mother, my fellow chaplains, or myself as in the “royal” we, and so on. You’ve given no context to the “we” of which you speak. 

Isn't the saying "the means justify the ends" the wrong way around? How did it get mixed up?

I don’t know where you heard this, but it is wrong. “The end justifies the means,” is the proper text.

“I say you have to choose to be offended! I choose not to be.” Thoughts comments musing reactions opinions?

“Offense” is a choice. It is a choice tempered or magnified by how you allow life events to control your emotions. I choose not to be offended because I have had to deal with the League of the Perpetually Offended for years and have become immune to offense. I cannot imagine being as emotionally weak as the League when it comes to every little thing life throws at me. Being offended at everything would say more about me than the offender. I prefer to smile at the ignorance and move on down the road. Better that we strive to be happy always.

“Freedom of speech gives us the right to offend others, whereas freedom of thought gives them the choice as to whether or not to be offended.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Perhaps dreams of imagined homelands cannot and should not come to life.” Do you agree with this statement?

“Homeland” is defined as a person’s native land. The definition prohibits imagining a homeland other than the one you have, therefore, you have to imagine your own homeland in a different context than what it is. For instance, you can’t migrate to America and state it is your homeland, you must change your homeland to reflect American values.

If the homeland you imagine is better than the one you have, then you must change the one you have into the one you imagine. Imagining change for the better is never a bad thing, and bringing your imagined change to fruition can be marvelous for everyone.

Hitler’s “Third Reich” was a homeland that would have been best not imagined, and most certainly should not have come to life.

Have you ever found an unexpected message in a rejection or not achieving a goal or dream?

Oh, my, yes! In my divorce! The “unexpected message” was that I could actually find the happiness I was looking for in my marriage, elsewhere. She kept trying to destroy it and I kept fighting to preserve it. Sometimes it is best to just let a dying dog die and take stock of what you still have that’s important to your happiness. My only regret is that it took me 20 years to realize she’d already killed the dog. It was rotting and starting to smell so bad even `my friends told me to bury it.

Do you think that we forget that the people we argue with on the internet are other human beings?

Most people probably do. They forget these people also have feelings, but the fact they have chosen to argue has placed their “humanity” in limbo status. How they argue, their tone of voice, how they choose to treat you in the argument, have a bearing on how long you keep their “humanity” hanging in limbo. They might prove to be so ugly that you feel the need to scrape them off the sole of your shoe.

The League of the Perpetually Offended can be ugly in their attacks on people. They almost immediately start cursing and name-calling, as if this will win the day. The League, and how I used to interact with them, taught me the futility of any discussion on my part. They are just too much “drama” for anyone to waste attention on. Are they “human beings” deserving of understanding? Of course, but many of us wish they would, at least, act the part.

“Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time.”

-- Neal Stephenson

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.