Questioning Others

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

-- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004), psychiatrist

 

Who said you bring out the best in people?

There are several people, throughout my adult life, including every woman since my divorce. Subconscious jealousy?  I only know that I am my own worst critic. My humility makes it tough to see what these others see in me. Maybe if everyone just tried to be happy always, instead of letting ego lead us by the nose, we would all bring out the best in each other.

How do you bring someone with you?

Start by asking them if they even want to come. Then, in business, you have to convince those over you that this person is an asset. The decision you make to bring them with you should be selfless. What you’re doing is helping them down their path while making your way a bit easier. You need them as much as they need you, but do it for the right reasons, or they’ll soon understand they’re being used to forward your career more than their own. They might end up managing with you, and allies are as essential as friends. Learn to cultivate both on your path.

When did you realize if it’s to be it’s up to me?

At the end of high school. Life and death came crashing down on me when I was drafted for military service in the Vietnam conflict. I was forced to put away childish things and make mature decisions and choices.

“If it is to be, it is up to me.”

-- William Johnsen, educator

What is one phrase or idiom in your culture and country that you later knew was amazingly true?

There are two. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. You are never too big to fail.

Why do people think it’s impossible to grow their wealth so they just give up? Why do people give up on themselves before they start to grow their money?

“Why” is the correct question. Most people don’t understand why they’re here, why they exist. They give up on themselves because they mistakenly think they’re life is about material wealth. Better to understand “why” you are, the who, what, when, and how of you. Learn to be happy, and then go forward and dabble in wealth. Money can’t buy the true happiness that comes from inside all of us. It is a conscious choice each of us must make, to be happy always.

What is something that 99% of people don't understand?

Why they exist.

Are you waiting for good times or struggling to prove yourself?

Good times begin each morning. I am what I am and, as such, I have nothing to prove to anyone. Those who think I do would be better served looking to their own shortcomings than judging others. 

“After a certain point you quit trying to prove yourself to anyone and you simply live in the way that makes you happy.”

-- Alan Cohen, inspirational author

What industries only exist because of economic inequality?

Social Welfare.

What is an example of something that has no “right” answer?

Faith. It is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Some believe, but they can’t prove it. Some don’t believe it, and they, also, cannot prove it. The answer is out there, but is either side considered right in their belief? 

What is utterly nonsensical in the world? Could you give me some examples?

Hate groups make no sense. The KKK believes only white lives matter. Black Lives Matter, well, they aren’t embracing “All” Lives Matter now, are they? Socialism always fails, yet factions in the world keep reinventing it, and it keeps on failing at the expense of those who embrace it. Socialism makes no sense.

"Power is being able to say complete and utter nonsense and have it be believed, powerlessness is where no matter how much cogent evidence and proof one has, to not be believed."

-- Catharine MacKinnon, feminist, legal scholar, activist, author

Who thinks people need to realize that one of the ways to not fail at life is to have no critics because if you have critics you are doing something wrong and the fact that my friends Josh and Mohammad have no critics make them winners? Do you agree?

No. Critics provide a balance, and the universe is all about balance. Critics also critique those who do right, so your premise is already flawed. Critics give us an insight into societal opinion, but why should Josh and Mohammad care? Are they here to please the critics, or are they here to please themselves? Only they can decide if they’re ego is so shallow as to think the title of “winners” make them so. Perhaps they have more of their path to travel before they understand titles are meaningless.

What do you consider as the greatest reward and why?

“Thank you.” Not that any thanks are necessary for something done selflessly, but appreciation is always appreciated, and receiving it says as much about the person giving it as it does about the person receiving it.

I use other people's experiences similar to mine in a general way to evaluate my own experience. Is this a usual thinking manner?

Yes! We learn what works through our failures and successes, but we can also learn much through the failure and success of others. If you rely on just an evaluation of yourself, you deprive yourself of valuable information you may find useful in the future.

What is the best approach if I ask from a person, who I need to be in contact regularly, how can we agree with things fairly in the future and he replies, "So that I decide things by myself and you will follow."?

Right away this other person seems to not want to understand the concept. A more direct approach would seem necessary. This other person deciding things and you simply following is not fair, and more of a “forced” agreement. You need to be more specific about your expectations with this because it seems to be all about what they want.  

“A boss says "you do it", a leader says "Let's do it".”

-- Amit Kalantri, author

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as a chaplain at the regional medical center.