Lots of Lovin'

“If you just stop expecting perfection from everyone and everything, you might see the good stuff outweighs the bad. And then someday you'll look in the mirror and see the same thing. Because the person you're most disappointed in is yourself.”

-- Erin Lange, author

Some people tend to listen to other people's opinions, not because these other people's opinions are substantive, but just that it's another opinion than theirs. Many times they consider those opinions as being the opinions of everyone, and any alternate opinion that might run contrary, to what is considered the opinion of many, might be seen as insincere. I think this happens with people who are overweight. They hear constant negativity and judgment from those around them, and when someone tries to be positive, to go against the madding crowd, they're seen as simply pandering to what they think they're target wants to hear. We have become desensitized to this. We expect this pandering, even from those who are being honest. 

We see and hear pandering from politicians, constantly, and have to be smart enough to ask where all the money is coming from to support their particular platform; the unrealistic promises they make to their voting base. Pretty soon it becomes difficult to separate heartfelt reality from pandering to the gullible ignorance in society. I think the same thing happens in personal relationships when we refuse to look beyond what others say about us. We need to consider the source by considering who they are, what they know and what they have done or said in the past, and then we can better determine what level of trust we should give to what they say, or if we should pay any attention to them, at all. Action speaks louder than words; what have they actually accomplished and what can we expect from them now?

"What's revolting is the body-positivity movement. What's revolting is this idea now that you can tell women they'll be happy and healthy at any size. Why? Because it tells women that you can be fat, and you can be unattractive, and you can be happy anyway. That's a lie."

-- Milo Yiannopoulos, political commentator, public speaker, writer

When I discuss a love of women, I mean all women, and I always try to be as honest as possible.  I want the fairer sex to expect nothing less... from me, at any rate.  Some may not like what I say or agree with it, but at least they'll know I'm not trying to blow smoke up their muumuu.  The few people who truly pay attention to anything can see through the bullshit, and we should always assume everyone is paying attention even though most aren't.

In my past offerings, I have proffered the concept of the full-figured woman not allowing what they are to be the measure of how they view who they are. I don't find the "body-positivity movement" revolting. I think you should always try to be positive about who and what you are. What I find revolting is anyone not being honest about how unhealthy being full-figured is or can become. But, sometimes dieting and exercise either doesn't work or becomes too much work in the sense that it feels like you're killing yourself in order not to die. No one should stand in judgment of full-figured people, as long as they're not fooling themselves about the probable consequences of being what they are, and even then the only judgment should be, "Well, as long as you're happy, so be it."  Continue to be the best of who you are.

“She may have a weight problem but you have an ugly problem.”

-- Donna Lynn Hope, author, "Willow"

I do, however, recommend full-figured people make the most of what they are. Dress well, wear a nice hairstyle, and find a good sense of humor, especially about yourself. It might also help your sense of self-respect to learn how to behave in polite company.  A mature man or woman would do themselves no end of good to behave like mature men and women. I have nothing but respect for large people who stand as an example of what success looks like and what can be achieved, regardless of what others may think of you.  Rise above it and become more than you are, for no better reason than you want it.

"Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat."

-- Giada De Laurentiis, chef, writer, TV personality

I don't care if you're fat or skinny when I say that you should at least have pride in who you are. What you are, has little bearing on who you are, unless you make the choice to let it. You don't have to care what other people think, but at least care about what you think of yourself. What and who we are can have great effect on those around us, especially the young. If we are slobs, we send a message to others that being a slob is appropriate. If we are killing ourselves with bad habits, we send a message that suicide is appropriate. When did it become appropriate to not be a good role model for others, especially the children? When did it become okay to slowly kill ourselves instead of rising above the drama in life?

My big problem with big people is when I see a blatant lack of self-respect.  I usually see this at a fast-food establishment when the large person ahead of me orders two or three hamburgers, extra-large fries, and a diet soda.  A diet soda?  What's the point?  These are usually those people I hear claim they prefer the taste of diet soda or that their weight is a medical condition.  I want to know how many death row inmates ask for a diet soda to enjoy with their last meal, and it very well might be a medical condition that has great bearing on how much fattening crap someone shovels down their throat.  Perhaps it's a psychological condition that prevents them from controlling what's in their hands from making it into their pie hole?  I'm not so sure a lack of self-control is a medical problem as much as it is a psychological addiction.

“Sometimes you have to get lost before you can find yourself.”

-- Unknown origin

I hear excuses all the time for why we are what we are.  Many people have become so good at making excuses that they let what they are, define who they are.  If you're making excuses in life, are those excuses for the benefit of people who stand in judgment of you, or for yourself?  How lost are you, if you're constantly making excuses for falling down?  Is this truly the happy path you've been looking for?  Happiness, like almost everything else in life, is a choice.  If you aren't happy, make better choices.  Constantly falling down is not a very good choice.  Perhaps it is time to learn something new, like how not to fall down.

"Sometimes you have to get lost before you find yourself."  Many people seem to lay claim this saying.  Personally, I think it sounds like a "Winnie the Pooh" philosophy.  I like the Pooh bear.  Only Pooh bear can be this simple and spot on.  The only way we truly learn is from our failure or the failure of others.  Sometimes you have to fail before you can truly succeed.  I can constantly tell my young child not to touch a hot stove, but he will not truly understand why I constantly tell him this until he reaches out and burns himself.  Yes, this really happened, and he never purposely touched a hot stove again, at least not that he's admitted.

If we truly consider what or who we are to be a failure in our own eyes, we can make a conscious decision to change for our own benefit.  We can make the choice to stop constantly falling down.  But, we will always be presented with an opportunity to fail.  Failure is a result which primarily occurs when we make a bad choice.  Therefore, the consequences which follow failure are also due to that same choice.  As I stated before, I think we only truly learn from our failure.  We learn about bad choices and about the consequences which follow.  Learn to make better choices and to understand that choosing to put what you've learned into practice by not failing is a much better choice.

"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."

-- Dennis Miller, comedian, actor, political commentator

I have found that people who are physically challenged can be the most innovative people in the workforce; they have to be in order to keep up and show the ability and desire to rise above their perceived handicap.  Don't let what you are, keep you down, or you will risk defining who you are by what you are.  What you are isn't necessarily a choice, but who you are is always a choice.

Choose to be a humble example others look to.   Choose to have self-respect.  Choose to be more than what you think you are.  Choose to rise above opinions concerned with what you are, and you will truly choose to define who you are.  I love who you are, and so will others.

There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.

-- Kirstie Alley, actress

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.