Seen in the Mirror Dimly

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

-- Paul the Apostle, "1 Corinthians 13:1-13"

Ever thought about the moment when an attractive person leaves you with a sense of desire? How about the moment when your desire moves into the realm of love? When a relationship doesn’t pan out, are you one of those people who can turn your love for someone off, like a switch, or do you still love them as deeply, only in a different way? And, if they don’t love you, does it really matter? I have asked all of these questions, and more, and I have also considered, with respect to myself, why my feelings and emotions changed.

I think I became selfless.  I found myself caring less about whether someone loved me and more concerned about how I loved others.  

"Hey!  I love you!  Nope, don't know you at all.  I just thought you should know you're loved.  Oh, and nice legs!  Just saying.  Is that your boyfriend or your husband?  Yeah?  He looks pissed.  Sucks being me, I guess, on a couple of levels.  Call me, or don't; your choice.  He really looks pissed.  Gotta run!"

I was doing research the other day and came across the famous lines of Paul the Apostle, which he wrote down in his letter to the Corinthians, which would become well known in 1 Corinthians.  In particular was 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, in which he offers a definition of love.  Though we use the scriptural verses in marriage ceremonies, ad nauseam, it isn't necessarily offered up as a definition of love between man and woman, I view it as a general definition of all-inclusive love which is being touted by Paul, a way of treating others.  The letter is put into context in an article entitled, "The Historical Background of First Corinthians":

Paul received news from Corinth by the household of Chloe (1 Cor. 1:11). Several factions had appeared in the fellowship of the church, and they were menacing its life and ministry. Subsequently, the Corinthians themselves wrote Paul a letter and requested his advice on a number of problems (1 Cor. 7:1). Paul responded to the news brought by the household of Chloe and to the questions sent by the church with the letter we know as First Corinthians.

The situation in Corinth did not clear up after the writing of First Corinthians; rather, it continued to deteriorate. The exact nature of the continuing difficulty is not apparent; at least it involved a denial of Paul’s authority and possibly some of the problems dealt with in First Corinthians.

Though it is intended as advice to the Corinthians "on a number of problems," our use of it as a more intimate definition is not inappropriate.  We tend to view personal relationships through "a mirror dimly" because of ego and greed because we don't fully understand, or accept, what Paul is trying to tell us.  We speak, think, and reason, as children.  We are supposed to give up these childish ways of looking through the mirror dimly and look each other in the eye, face to face, because there, but for the grace of God, go us. 

Having said this, and ruminated upon it, I feel there is nothing as sensual as an attractive woman, wearing a dress with an open back, walking away.  In my mind, she isn't clearly defined, but I like what I can see of her, through a mental fog.  Mine is the sight of a woman as seen through the fog on a mirror or window.  I would consider it a "waking dream" if she were to offer a slow look, back over her shoulder, and smile.  I would have to immediately reach out to wipe the fog off the glass in order to see her more clearly and ensure my eyes don't deceive; that there exists faith for some evidence of mutual interest.  The one glance over her shoulder affirms she is, after all, the face that launched a thousand ships.  She is the girl a man places on a pedestal and fights for.  She has knowledge of her photo occupying the pocket of the soldier in battle, as she awaits the soldier's return.  She is defined only as "sexually appealing," until she looks back with a smile that melts hearts.  At that moment, desire morphs into so much more.  

This quick look over the shoulder ignites the fire of imagination.  The slight smile piques the interest, and thoughts of a possible relationship soon turn toward love.  Perhaps unrequited, even if unspoken, love is an emotional experience for the fortunate, none the less.  One must always have faith, right?  Of course, I'm the first to remind myself that faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.  Perhaps one shouldn't read too much into a simple glance over the shoulder?  Life is full of dreams, and there is nothing wrong with dreaming.  It is through our dreams and imagination that we move forward, learn, and grow.  

But, then, there's always that smile to consider.

“You can talk with someone for years, every day, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”

-- C. JoyBell C., author, poet, philosopher

We can take Paul's general "definition" of love shown to our fellows and apply it to more personal, intimate, relationships.  In doing so, however, we also need to embrace selflessness. We have many problems embracing a definition of love which is selfless and all-inclusive.  I think we especially have issues embracing it when we realize the love we feel is unrequited.  Our ego wants our heartfelt feeling to be returned.  Why is this?  Is our ego so easily damaged?  How dare they not recognize our heart being worn on our sleeve?

I think Paul is correct when he talks about giving up these childish ways.  It would benefit all of us to grow up, mature, and understand each other.  Understanding comes from exercising all of our senses at one time; sight, hearing, smell and touch.  Our senses give us a clear understanding of what is before us, and why. 

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

-- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), playwright, critic, activist

We need to wipe the fog off the mirror, off the glass.  We need to have a clear and unobstructed view of life and those around us.  We need to put down our cell phones, tablets.  We need to take long breaks from social media and get back to talking face to face and experiencing life so we at least have something interesting to share on social media instead of the same old blah, blah, blah.  We have become so many "hashtags" in a world of impersonal communication.  I, for one, am not a hashtag.  I hope to never become one.  If you want to refer to me, call me Tony.  Call me, "Hey, you!" or "Dude."  

Whatever we choose to call each other, we should do each other the uncommon courtesy of talking face to face.  We'll find our understanding and tolerance will grow exponentially, and there will be so much less drama, expectation, and disappointment in our lives.

"What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger."

-- Ellen DeGeneres, comedian, actress, writer, producer

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.