Well, Bless Your Heart

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! There are many sayings which can be attributed to the rich Southern heritage of our country, yet none as recognizable as, "Well, bless your heart!" This one genteel sentence, uttered at the end of an otherwise, rash, thoughtless, or derogatory statement, which can negate any negativity intoned in said statement while keeping the truth alive.

I'm a native "Son of the South," born in Biloxi, Mississippi at the Keesler AFB hospital.  At one year of age I was kidnapped by my parents for a sixty year forced education in the "real" world.  So, in reality, I have only lived in the South for five years and have no little real knowledge of what I speak when it comes to Southern culture, other than what my Southern mother brought to the table for me.  I have jumped into the culture with both feet, keeping my eyes as wide open as my mind, and asking questions of everyone, especially those around my age and older.  So, understand that the following is simply my observations which could be so far out in left field as to no longer be considered part of the ball game.  But, with this in mind...

The double negative as stated in the opening image (above) is when she already covered her thought, for most southerners paying attention, as she said, "Well bless your heart."   She need not have clarified the statement with, "You know, back in the day we used to call people like you 'touched in the head',"  because, depending on the inflection of the voice, this simple statement, on its own, can speak volumes to those folks in the know.  

For instance, referring to the first example below, when you say, "Well, bless your heart!" it need not be clarified by "What a sweet baby!" as your inflection and expression might have already transmitted your true feeling that the "Kid looks like south end of a pig headin' north."  The implied kindness of following up with "What a sweet baby!" is often simply a generously cordial politeness, a warm fuzzy with which to stroke the receiving party and make them feel better about some negative which has been noticed.  Unfortunately, this "negative" is usually a consequence of their own making, like the baby.  So, let's begin:

Well, bless your heart!

• "What a sweet baby!" (Kid looks like south end of a pig headin' north."
• "You are wounded!" (Shot yourself again, did ya?)
• "That step is a bit high." (And you are seriously lacking any grace.)
• "Do you require some help?" (You didn't think this through at all, did ya?)
• "What happened to your eye?" (You playing catch with Billy Bob's fist, again?)
• "Let mama kiss it." (She probably kissed it before she said this, and in front of your friends just to teach you humility.  It is what mamas do.)
• "Is that supposed to be upside down?" (The Lord forgot to give you brains, huh?)
• "Are you confused?"  (You look like a pig starin' at a wristwatch.)
• "That outfit looks... just fine."  (You are proof that a potato sack on a model is still a potato sack, or... those pants don't make your ass look any bigger.)
• "You've cut yourself!"  (You're not as sharp as the knife, are ya?)
• "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" (Okay, this is either a "thank you" or a "what were you thinking giving candy to a fat woman" response.)

Down at the fishing pier I'm usually met with, "Well bless your heart!  That's a mighty fine catch!"  Unfortunately fishermen can't bullshit fishermen, we can only try not to offend.  What they're really saying is, "Nothin' bigger biting today, huh?"

Ya'll might wanna watch out for ""Well, bless your little pea-pickin heart!" This is a case of being mildly derogative while, hopefully, voicing a heartfelt show of concern; a "pea-picker" being a derogatory reference to a poor migrant laborer in depression era America.

"Well, bless your heart!"  It can reflect a one person's true concern toward another, and it can do so while also quietly passing judgement or being rudely derogatory, or both.  It seems to be a Southern thing, this way of being blatantly honest while back-dooring one's true meaning, and doing so while allowing the speaker to remain the outward epitome of Southern polite grace and culture by showing others a modicum of respect by not directly speaking your mind, yet getting the point across to those who understand.

The South refers to the Civil War, the War Between the States, as that "little unpleasantness" which only the North seems unable to put behind them.  Like true members of the League of the Perpetually Offended, the North will continue to whine, complain, and try to rewrite history until they crush the spirit of the South and foist upon them the new racism and divisiveness of the North.

The South has always offered a lifestyle so much more laid-back than the North, probably one of the reasons why Northerners always came, and still come, south for the winter.  The North always questions the intelligence of the South, but this is simply jealousy of Southerners being smarter, as the North knows in their heart those po' folk almost won that "little unpleasantness" against the richer, better armed, and more numerous "blue bellies."  Does this mean that Southerners are not, also, intelligent?  Absolutely not, but Southern intelligence does not make them forget the good sense which makes them smart.  One must always remember from whence you came, and who you are.  Intelligence without smarts is having an idea and not understanding why.  It can make you sound as confused as a fart in a fan factory, or like Congress.

Whereas the South has embraced equality, the North continues to fight a long forgotten battle by punishing the South with a history which lacks the needed substance of truth.  The reasoning for this is their knowledge that truth will always win out, and this is frightening to a country which constantly pits brother against brother in a silent one-sided battle for control of minds.  When truth becomes what you make of it, when you have become ideologically worse than that against which you fought, you have lost.

Bless their hearts; the North will continue touting their intelligence while acting like a sack of rocks to those with more good sense.  It is, after all, what they do.  The South will continue to abide as statues come down, flags are changed, and the overt racism of the Northern states is all but written from history.  The North won the cotton, the sugar, and the right to enslave the minds of ignorance to do their bidding.  Ignorance is becoming smarter than the insidious intelligence which keeps its boot firmly on the neck of the masses, however.  Ignorance will have their "Aha!" moment as they begin to learn the "new" North hasn't changed much from the old North -  intelligent... just, not all that smart.

You'll notice where most Northerners still come for the winter, and to retire?  Like refugees, they pour into the South, bringing with their subconscious desire to mold it from the laid-back free spirit into that mess which they have left.  Where will they run to next, after they turn their new home into a cesspool?  When their perverted version of truth catches up to them?

Bless their hearts.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.