My Sunday Thought for 100817: On Being Ugly

Note to my readers:  Because of Sunday evening's massacre in Las Vegas, this post has been updated from the original edit which I published, to several of you, just this morning. 

Added:  We have no information at this time as to the reason for Sunday evening's mass shooting, which killed over fifty and wounded hundreds.  We may never understand the mind of the killer; his family is as confused as law enforcement.  I mention the incident in this post because it plays to the subject, the ugliness and darkness within us; the potential for evil which even the most righteous can fall prey to, unbeknownst to those around them.  As we find in so many acts of murder, and terrorism, no one saw it coming; they were quiet neighbors, pillars of the community, and family people.  Murder of the innocent is pure evil and cannot be excused.  It is the act of sick, psychotic, sociopathic, and/or weak minded individuals who find no other alternative in their twisted mind than to destroy.

Ugly goes beyond the mask we try to camouflage it with.  We can't cure stupid any more than we can hide the ugly within us.  Now, the first thing most shallow folks think is, what about the outwardly, physically, ugly?  Well, it isn't what you look like that matters to God, it's what's in your heart, the beauty within you.  I figure, if that's all God is concerned with, who are we to judge?  But, I'll place a good sized bet most of you were thinking about physical looks, weren't you?  Now ask yourself, "How shallow was that?"  If you hadn't noticed, most humans aren't known for wading into the deep end of thought.

I love the character of John Coffey in The Green Mile.  He is larger than life, quietly innocent, and a simple minded child of God - blessed.  So, do you have to be simple minded to be a child of God?  I think it doesn't hurt.  If you buy into scripture, it says the meek shall inherit the earth.  Of course, you don't have to be stupid in order to be meek; I just haven't met many intelligent people whom I would consider labeling as "meek," full of self-importance, arrogant narcissism, perhaps yes, but not meek, no.

I could be way off base, but it has been my unfortunate experience that to note that it seems, for most of us, as we become more intelligent we also become uglier; we become uglier on the inside, and it doesn't take long for ugly to fill us up and begin working on our outside. It is the rare individual who can balance what they learn with who they are meant, by God, to be; ego, and the like, tends to insinuate itself into the equation.  If the darkness can't find ego, then jealousy, pride, or hatred will suffice.  If one is strong willed, they might, mistakenly think they master their darkness.  Strong or weak minded, darkness simply feeds off the host until the mind and soul are irreversibly corrupt.  Most of us refuse to own our darkness because we refuse to recognize it.  Pretty soon we look in the mirror to see the reflection of a pathetic, cowardly, sadomasochist. At this point, if we have one shred of humility left, we will finally recognize that we were never in control of anything. We erected a façade of strength and confidence, yet we generally had no idea of our own weaknesses which were so obvious to those around us.  After all, it takes one to know one... right?

“I bear the dungeon within me; within me is winter, ice, and despair; I have darkness in my soul.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

I grew up knowing the meaning of "ugly American."  It was a label I took with me overseas and struggled to overcome.  I humbly thought I succeeded, with great effort.  The people I met were beautiful, accepting, and giving.  Egotistically, I also, mistakenly, thought I was making it in life.  But, if I had honestly compared myself to the fine folks who invited me into their homes, full of character, acceptance, and faith, I would have discovered the pauper within me.  I never truly understood my label until I was out among those who would label me as ugly, but they weren't me.

“When you get an idea into your head you find it in everything.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

I also never considered myself handsome, and therein was another example of my own mistakes - physical appearance.  What I looked like had little to do with the person I was supposed to be.  To those I met overseas, I was probably much less than their cultural idea of rugged good looks, and yet, they still gave me the benefit of doubt, a chance to show I was more than an outer shell.  I found that, whether we spoke the same language or not, we managed to find common ground through common interests - primarily food and drink!  Oh, and for you perpetually offended, I must state that these marvelously hospital people, were Muslim, and accepted this Christian into their homes.  Who woulda thunk, huh?

“I never realized my ugliness till now. When I compared myself with you, I pity myself indeed, poor unhappy monster that I am! I must seem to you like some awful beast, eh? You, you are a sunbeam, a drop of dew, a bird's song! As for me, I am something frightful, neither man nor beast, a nondescript object, more hard, shapeless, and more trodden under foot than a pebble!”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

I had an opportunity, just this past week, to attend a "celebration of life" for my aunt who recently passed away.  She was an employer and mentor for some 300 plus employees at her company prior to its sale.  The venue was packed with young and old wishing to pay their heartfelt respect.  These were an extended family of friends and coworkers, many of whom I hadn't seen in some years.  They were all shapes, sizes, and ages.  If one were to care, they were also all manner of physical appearance.  These were people I interacted with, argued with, disagreed with, lunched with, partied with, loved and cried with, and some, to my great shame, were invisible.  But, they were family, and my concerns weren't that these people were tall, large, short or slight; my concern was how to give each of them another loving hug, and a few of them their first.

I'm sure fairly sure some of them were still ugly on the inside, I have grown much since I left them, and have learned to ignore how ugly they were, are, especially on the surface.  I now find myself searching out the beauty within each of them.  I have found inner beauty outwardly manifests itself in so many obvious ways.  In this case I found it in a smile, a tear, the heartfelt memories and thanks for the time they were able to spend under the apt tutelage of a great lady who changed most of their lives, the worldwide views on ethical medical research, and the geography a city, forever.

“His judgement demonstrates that one can be a genius and understand nothing of an art that is not one's own.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

Where other people saw a cleaning woman, or a mailroom clerk, I learned to find the computer savvy office worker hidden within.  Where others saw a body fit for a pants or spandex, I learned to find their inner business skirt or suit.  Where others saw only argument, disagreement, and offense, I learned to find middle ground, the value within all of them.

“Besides, to be fair to him, his viciousness was perhaps not innate. From his earliest steps among men he had felt, then seen himself the object of jeers, condemnation, rejection. Human speech for him always meant mockery and curses. As he grew older he had found nothing but hatred around him. He had caught it. He had acquired the general viciousness. He had picked up the weapon with which he had been wounded.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

There are no ugly people, only people who prefer to act ugly.  I have found, for the most part, if we look for the inner beauty within them they will soon recognize the beauty themselves and, with recognition, they will learn to embrace their own positive attributes.  People will soon be able to ignore all but the beauty standing before them, the beautiful person who was always there, hiding behind an ugly mask.

“Many people in Paris are quite content to look on at others, and there are plenty who regard a wall behind which something is happening as a very curious thing.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

Personally, politically, artistically, or sociologically, I think that any study concerning "ugly" must first start within the soul of the investigator, the writer, the commentator, reporter, or any others who would dare stand in judgement of those to whom they feel superior.  Whereas to think of judging another should give us cause for introspection, the act of judging another should be viewed by all as undignified; it lowers the judge to a level where they, themselves, risk similar judgement and ridicule of those they would lord over.  When it comes to appearances, we see what we wish to see and, perhaps, what we wish is also the root of our evil.

The Talmudic tractate Berakhot states, “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”  Leave it to thousand year old Rabbinic Judaism to place that Jewish guilt firmly where it belongs - on us.  Most might be concerned that, if they learn to see things as they truly are, they would be disappointed or frightened by what confronts them.  If this is so, we would have learned nothing... except who we still are.  If we truly see things as they are, we will have discovered how to look beyond first impressions and consider the whole of what we perceive.  Hopefully we'll be able to confront our own ugliness and, humbly, rise above it.  "Everything is beautiful in its' own way," and it is, therefore, incumbent upon us to discover the beauty which resides within as well as without, when looking at others and, especially, ourselves.

Science is now putting forth the theory, the real possibility, that Jesus was perhaps considered handsome in his own culture, but was actually a short, stocky, homely man, in the egocentric view today's culture.  Yet this man's teachings became the bedrock of the number one spiritual philosophy, Christianity, and did it back in the days without use of mass media and the internet.  Jesus now enjoys a beloved following and worship by 33% of the world's population.  Not bad for an "ugly" little man. 

“When a man understands the art of seeing, he can trace the spirit of an age and the features of a king even in the knocker on a door.”

-- Victor Hugo (1802-1885),"The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

Editor's Note 

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with an Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as Chaplain Program Liaison, at a regional medical center.