My Sunday Thought for 070917: Windows of the Glass House

"Well, opinions are like assholes.  Everybody has one."

-- Harry Callahan, "The Dead Pool" (1988)

"Well, opinions are like assholes.  Everybody has one."  I can't remember when, in my childhood, I first heard my father say this, but I know it was way before 'Dirty Harry' Callahan said it in the 1988 movie, The Dead Pool.  

I researched roots of the quote back to, Past and present of Wyandot County, Ohio; A record of settlement, organization, progress and achievement (1913), Edited by Abraham J. Baughman, Chicago, IL: Clarke Pub. Co., 1913, and the excerpt reads thus:  "We’ve got one at home,” whereupon Adam remarked to some by-standers, “That’s the way it is, now em nare, washing machines are like noses — everybody’s got one.”  Well, if this is the original quote it is fairly tame in comparison to the more recent south-end-of-a-donkey-headed-north version.  People have put their own spin on this throughout the years, and I can only guess my dad probably picked up the more recent version while in the Air Force during the early 1950s.  It just sounds like how a sergeant would admonish some low ranking troop's personal opinion.

My dad's version usually comes to mind when I read opinions from those members of the League of the Perpetually Offended or, since I've been writing, people who either don't read what I write, miss the point of what I write, are too emotional about what I write, would be offended regardless of what I write, or just want to use me as their excuse to bloviate about... well, whatever, especially if I wrote it.  Regardless, though, it seems these folks usually miss the point of my post, which is not surprising when one considers the perpetually offended seem blind to any other point of view that isn't theirs.  What I'm writing usually has nothing to do with what their mind intends to read, presupposing, of course, they plan to read it at all before jumping to inane conclusions.  Whether they read the viewpoint prior to trashing it, is not necessarily a bad thing in my opinion, as it offers a large, unobstructed, picture window into their soul... and offers an indicator of whether you can trust turning your back to them.

“The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.”

-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC), Roman politician, lawyer

The Bard, William Shakespeare, once said, "The eyes are the window to the soul."  For most of us, our eyes do betray our soul, despite our constant attempts to draw the curtain.  I have often accepted that the eyes are windows to the mind, the transparent windows of the glass house from which far too many of us choose targets at which we will launch our rocks of judgment or perpetual offense upon these unwitting victims, once we work up the nerve to open the front door so the repetitive mindless babbling practiced upon ourselves can be heard, above the applause of the cricket, by anyone paying attention to our rant of selfish bullshit.

For those people we cannot see, those anonymous people who write down their thoughts for others to contemplate, we have to rely only on their opinions as windows into who they are.  What people seem incapable of grasping is that these opinions, like everyone else's, are just opinions, everyone has one, and most everyone thinks any opinion but their own... simply stinks.  Well, such seem to be the traits of opinions and assholes.

When I write a post I am voicing an opinion, an idea, or simply a topic for consideration. I include a short disclaimer at the end of each in an attempt to head off the perpetually offended readers by explaining my intent and asking for open, active minds, and for any and all constructive comments. Along with usually missing the entire point of my post, it would seem the disclaimer is also beyond the grasp or consideration of the perpetually offended or angry. I have been very fortunate that so many of my 31,000 worldwide readers keep returning, and that I have received so few negative and non-constructive comments from them. I have managed to only anger a few, and we all know the club to which they belong.

I would evidence the angry rhetoric of which I speak, by offering up an example by way of a recent comment, from the monastery's minister site, to my post Revisiting: Attitude Adjustment. I would, but not at the very real risk of demeaning any woman with effect than the spiteful rant she chose to launch against my humble post. Even excusing her few spelling and grammatical errors, obviously due to the emotion of the moment, I was still left feeling violated.

All I ever ask of my readers is to leave any constructive comments which may come to mind.  Constructive comments?  I'm not certain this reader read the parameters for "constructive" comments, much less cared.  I had to smile at her last sentence, however, accusing me of writing a “rant” which she seemed more adept at writing than me.  Yes, she seemed perfectly capable of spewing her own "rant" if the occasion arises, and I can only imagine the occasion must arise often.  However, I accepted her "critique" for what it was and went back to reread, for an umpteenth time, the offending post which she referred to as "the most judgmental, egotistical and sexist posts" she thinks she's ever read.  She thinks?  I tried to understand her offense at anything I had written, as most of what she accused me of was, in actuality, me trying to voice the opposite of what she seems to have misinterpreted.  I would have much preferred she knows what she’s ever read, prior to ripping me a new one over something she, by her own admission, might be unsure of.

I did not dismiss her out of hand, however.  Not trusting my own biased opinion (I am the author of the offending post, after all), I asked several trusted readers, retired military and wounded vets, to reread the post and consider the comments made by this individual.  They, too, were perplexed.  As is my norm, I thanked this critic for her "constructive" comments, opting to leave her fate, and the fate of my post, to the responses of other readers.  I have found that the many of my readers handle questionable comments better than I.

I did, as an act of contrition, edit several sentences in the post in order to do… what? I'm still unsure. It didn't change much, other than to soften my praise of those brave military personnel who have risked and given their all, putting boot to ass for God and country. I probably should have left well enough alone.

Out of the 500 total hits from around the world, on this particular post, hers was the only comment… ever. As of this date, her comment has received one constructive response and I have received nothing more from her, or anyone else, concerning the post in question.

Those who thrive on being perpetually offended also introduced political correctness, one of the most insidious forms of tyranny ever invented. Political correctness has morphed from mild and inoffensive verbal corrections (“handicapped” are now “mobility impaired”) into a monstrosity of thought control and tyranny.

-- Patrice Lewis, freelance writer, author

What we should all try to avoid is becoming a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended.  The perpetually offended exist in the thinnest of glass shells where the sky is always falling, nothing will ever be good enough, and they are easily seen by others as always crying, "Wolf!"  Society dares not chuck a weighty response in their direction for fear of shattering the brittle exterior of their protective castle, favoring to simply ignore them as an annoying rash better forgotten than scratched lest they become an infected appendage in need of amputation from the body of civilized society.  It is fortunate for the perpetually offended that we still value the whole as more important than the parts.

We all exist in a glass house of opinion.  When we open the front door to give voice to those opinions we risk others interpreting our opinions as rocks instead of the roses we may have intended.  Many of us prefer to keep the door closed hoping no one looks through our windows to see us in all our naked glory.  Hope against hope, most people will see right through us regardless of our attempts to hide or remain silent.  We are all, unfortunately, that transparent.  Better we should, even like my antagonist above, have the fortitude to give voice to our opinion and the strength of character to take what criticism or misinterpretation comes in the wake of it.

Our glass house is only at risk if it is breakable, and one way of mitigating breakage is to make the walls of our house flexible by trying to be open minded and acceptant of criticism no matter how unwarranted, misinterpreted, or off target, we might consider the critique to be.

“I am one of the sort that lives by throwing stones at other people's glass houses, but I never mean to put up one for them to stone.”

-- Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896), abolitionist, author

The eyes may be the window to the soul, but of what use are windows in a glass house?  I would suppose one would need to let in a bit of fresh thought, from time to time, even if it isn't ours and even if we don't agree, and even if it offends us.  It is all part of being human, so we should learn to grow with it.  Maybe it's simply time for many of us to get out the Windex to clean our windows and learn to grow up and deal with the unfortunate shit which is our life, or at least buy a pair of dark sunglasses and learn to shut the front door.  As the reader states at the end of her comments, "Just something to think about." 

This post would be My Sunday Thought for the coming weekend and, as usual, it too is "just something to think about."

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with an Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, to wage his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as Chaplain Program Liaison, at a regional medical center.