My Sunday Thought for 12182016: The Hair We Take for Granted

When their city was occupied by the Gauls, and the Romans, who were besieged in the Capitol, had made military engines from the hair of the women, they dedicated a temple to the Bald Venus.

-- Lactantius (c. 250 - c. 325), author, advisor to Emperor Constantine I 

I think there is nothing quite as beautiful, nothing that can make a statement of perfection, as much as a woman who can carry herself with such refinement and class while sporting a well shorn head.  It is truly not the lack of hair which defines the woman, but rather the woman who defines the lack of hair.  She can look upon her bald self as  lacking some quality, like hair, or she can redefine her quality to include the very fact that she needs no hair to define how absolutely beautiful she is.  But, then, I've always been a neck person when it comes to the fairer gender; I love the hair short, or put up, so as to show off the neck and shoulders.  You can call me kinky, but I think it works.  Is it the hair we take for granted, or the lack of it?

Men have fought the horrors of "male pattern baldness" for ages, and women have feared the naked pate for an equal time.  This fear of the polished dome seems much ado about nothing.  A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman.  To kiss one's cheek, one's lips, one's forehead... Aye!  The forest is laid bare before me!  A blank canvas awaits much smooching and caressing, over the top and down the back, like a skier on new slopes, an explorer of virgin territory.  No more hair to disentangle from one's mouth, no more accidental pulling of the long locks in the throes of passion.  Women find what men have known for eons - no hair is easier to maintain than short hair and short hair wasn't all that bad to begin with.

An online acquaintance recently posted a photo of himself sans his usually long hair.  When asked the whereabouts of said locks, his response was this:

"Cut it off some time ago. I do this when I get it long. I have donated hair, counting this time, three different times. I actually had the pleasure of face to face hand deliver to a twelve year old female the time before this one. Everyone in the room, including hospital staff and the "wig" maker, in “full river” tears. The young lady is now 21 years old and has beaten her ailments. She in turn donated that hair piece to pay it forward. Way to go Kailie. I think this is a very good thing and a lesson for us all. If a youngster has the heart and respect to do such a marvelous thing, then as an adult we should stop being childish and grow up to do as we should being grownups."  

I applaud my friend for his efforts for these folks because they have enough to deal with than to worry about how they look to others, the fear of being labeled, being stared at, whispered about, pitied.  Because of their lack of hair?  Really?  As much as I applaud my friends efforts and concern, I also point an accusatory finger (and you know which one) at society, for we are the reason for his efforts.  Many would say he does it because they have cancer, or other malady, chemotherapy, or radiation causing the hair loss.  For my friend to donate his own hair, this might be correct.  But, I feel, the underlying reason is societal expectations which state a woman must look a certain way, meet certain criteria and standards, in order to be viewed as that ever sought after beauty.  I say that societal standards for physical beauty are... bullshit!

Yes, you should be neat and clean at all times.  You should be well groomed and well dressed.  You should be all of this as a matter of pride in yourself.  This is what speaks to people with any depth of thought.  The shallow of those amongst us will speak of "beautiful people" and the "haves" over the "have nots."  But, if an ordinary person carries themselves with pride and humility, watch the confusion and mumbling erupt around those who would judge.  What the buxom bombshell, Mae West, once stated about men holds just as true for women:

"A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him." 

-- Mae West (1893-1980), actress

Well, if he's showered they'll like him more, and if he's deloused, well... you see my point. Grooming is as important as fire, unless you're on fire in which case an extinguisher would be prudent. We are entering a new age of acceptance not enjoyed since the hippy days of my youth. We are learning to be more and more tolerant and acceptant of each other, providing we don't listen to the news media which would have us at each other's throats simply to boost for ratings.  It just seems like we make more of baldness than we really need to.  Who really cares?  Ask the children with cancer who are too young to care, or the elderly who are too old to care.  They'll probably teach you something about dealing with life, and handling the fear of death.

"And now that I have survived, I feel the growing need to communicate to as many people as possible that it is important to love oneself. It isn't easy. For someone like me it really took such a powerful experience to wake me up. But I am determined. I decided to use my image as a bald woman to get people to think, and so far things are going very well."

-- Sharon, model, actress, cancer survivor

We have created our own monster.  We have created an expectation of beauty which even the "beautiful people" cannot live up to.  Physically they might come close, but even most of them fail at depth of thought.  They go along to get along, but have no real concept of anything except the shallow end of the pool.  The Mona Lisa has enthralled the world and defined beauty and art for generations since Giorgio Vasari first coined the name for Da Vinci's painting back in 1550.  Yet, can any of us really say Lisa looks any less a beautiful work of art if she were bald?  I think not.

Let us all learn to embrace our inner baldness.  We need to let loose of the rugs we hide under and learn to revel in our baby butt bareness.  When you think about it, who is the lesser person, the person with least character?  Would it be the bald person, or those which pass judgment on them?  Taking that thought out to its obvious destination, what respect would someone, who dares to judge the least of us, hope to garner from those around them, unless those around them also inhabit the shallow end of the genetic pool?  As a woman, I think Elayne Boosler must have had her head up her judgmental ass when she made this humorous, albeit untrue, comment:

"You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot."

-- Elayne Boosler, comedian

I see these guys walking with them all the time.  We outnumber the "beautiful people" by a multiple we'd be hard-pressed to judge.  The question we all need to ask is, "Why?"  Why do we find Ms. Boosler's comment funny?  Why don't we find it sad that the majority continue surrendering our moral high ground to those of so much lesser humanity at the shallow end of the gene pool enabling them to dictate societal standards for beauty.  Just saying.

As for me, I will continue to find beauty in mine own eye, and I will define it by how God's work of art speaks to me.  You can slap lipstick on a pig and you can slap it on a model that chews gum like cud and speaks like a $20 hooker from the Bronx.  Both have an inner beauty waiting to get out and show the world what they truly have to offer, that any shallowness we perceive might be a mistaken judgment on our part, and that bald head might be a badge of courage we may never understand.  I think we should give them an opportunity to step up, show us and teach us, and we should not be so quick to judge.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough. 

-- Larry David, comedian

I challenge everyone, women in particular and bald women specifically, to be Larry David's "diamond in the rough."  Step out into the sunshine with confidence that you will sparkle, and see how many people you amaze.

But then, this is just My Sunday Thought for December 18, 2016.  I could be wrong.

"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn’t you say?"

-- Kirk, "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" (1982)

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 23 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to the intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, in the guise of the Congregation's official, online, blog, "The Path," of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead chaplain at a regional medical center.