My Sunday Thought for 05222016: As a Man Among Men, I Weep for Humanity

"Boys cry because they are hurt, sad, or frightened; 

men cry because they understand."

As children, men don't have a clue, about anything. We tend to learn first by reward, then by being hurt, and then, if we're smart, because we want to. About the time "we want to" learn, we begin to think we understand our emotions of fear, love, laugh, hurt, and sadness. I think by the time we manage to earn the title of "real men" we still don't have a clue about much other than the task at hand, and the fact that we think we understand our feelings... which we don't.

"What evidence of God's vast love do we trace in the fact, that he sent a Saviour not merely to accomplish by a transcendent stroke of sovereign power some vast work that should amaze and dazzle a benighted world, and cast off the burthen of its wretchedness by a touch - but one who should also tread the thorny path of life; should mingle in the stirring throng of human interests; should sojourn as a man among men, to weep with the weeping ones, and to rejoice with the rejoicing; should die as a man must die; and descend into that grave which sin has opened for man; I say - what evidence this affords of God's vast love to man."

-- Rev. George Fisk, LL.B.

We hurt and we exercise anger.  We want vengeance, but we try to exercise tolerance.  We learn to understand, and we exercise forgiveness and understand ourselves not for who we were, but for who we are and who we are still to become.  Sometime during all of this, if we have not forgotten to be human, we will learn to cry... again.

There are situations that dictate emotions must be put on the back burner; there is a job to be done or safety is an issue.  These are the times when we learn to suck it up and press on; there will be time to mourn when the task at hand is complete.  You tamp down your emotions, put on your game face, scream on the inside and press ahead with life.  Many people see this outward attitude as a person devoid of emotion, incapable of grief or empathy.  Military officers and their sergeants, other leaders and first responders, identify with this need to suppress the emotions of the moment and focus on the task at hand.  If anything this shows a deeper understanding of the emotions and the situation; understanding that, if the team or the individual cannot focus on the task, more death or injury may occur; the situation may get out of control.

For real men to cry, in public or privately, is a tool to mediate stress.  In particular, it is a valve to release stress which may, if not released, develop into the deeper issue of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”

-- Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations"

I have found tears to be a tool for focus.  I have found myself able to see through the underlying cause to the reason and an ultimate solution.  It is one reason you may see a leader bark out orders so people focus on other tasks and not on the loss.  It is why the leader might then excuse themselves, if only for a moment, while they go kick trashcans and beat their fists on concrete walls as a way of forcing clarity in a time of confusion; of finding their path in a time of darkness, and enabling them to lead, complete the task, and bring the others home.  In Les Misérables there is a quote by the author, Victor Hugo, “Those who do not weep, do not see.”  I have found much truth to this.

Society, seemingly, concerns itself with whether it is proper for real men to weep, openly, in public.  Society concerns itself with so much trivial bullshit that is of so much less importance than what real men find of concern in the world.

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As a side note and a "for instance," 51,000 casualties in the Civil War, and over 7000 of these dead littered the battlefield at Gettysburg, alone.  The 33,833,000 civilian dead, including 5,907,900 targeted Jews, as the Nazi "Final Solution" tried to redefine the term "genocide" for an entire world.  Two million "undesirable" civilians left to rot on the "killing fields" of Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia (1975 to 1979).  The death toll of the Bosnian genocide of the early 1990s topped out at a minimum of 104,732 (all of the mass graves may never be found).  Iraq's 1988 genocidal al-Anfal campaign against the Kurds claimed 182,000 Kurdish lives.  Chemical weapons and bombs which Syria used against it's own people between 2011 & 2016 resulted in 470,000 dead, 1,500,000 injured, 11 million displaced, and 500,000 starving.  Now, we face the latest insanity of radical Islamic terrorism, the Islamic State (ISIS, ISIL, or IS), and the current worldwide reign of terror, murder, rape, kidnapping, and torture, which is the hallmark of the new blaspheming heretical hypocrisy that has infected the peaceful religion of Islam and has been ongoing since before 2004.

Add to these not all inclusive examples, the 1,415,035,638 abortions of innocent lives, those sanctioned murders the world at large has committed against humanity, since 1980, and one can see how men find most problems in people's lives to be so much bullshit.  The problems of our daily lives are truly insignificant when held up against real issues of the day.  Maybe we do need to exercise our ability to simply buck up and rise above the pettiness in our own lives.

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“It is a grave injustice to a child or adult to insist that they stop crying. One can comfort a person who is crying which enables him to relax and makes further crying unnecessary; but to humiliate a crying child is to increase his pain, and augment his rigidity."

-- Alexander Lowen, "The Voice of the Body" 

Oh, and please don't go online to research my abortion numbers, I almost lost my lunch and came to tears just getting passed the photos of aborted, hacked up, fetuses and almost-to-term aborted babies.  Truly as sickening, if not more so, as the Holocaust images I have had to endure during much of that research.  Child abuse tends to piss me off more than most things in life, and images of unborn children we, as a "civilized" culture, sanctioned the murder of, should be enough to piss off the strongest of real men.  After all, real men make it their personal business to protect those that cannot protect themselves.  Real men stand up for the most weak, vulnerable, and innocent of us.  Others may call themselves men, but the term should taste like vinegar in their mouths.  Let's face it, radical Islamic terrorists call themselves "real men" while they rape the innocent, murder children, and burn helpless prisoners in cages.  These kinds of actions really tighten my jaw and set my teeth on edge.  As a real man among real men, I weep for humanity.

“Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principles of Yoga.”

-- Kripalvanandji (1913-1981), Kundalini yoga master

I think all men cry.  As humans we are truly slave to our emotions, even if we try to suppress them.  I think what separates men from real men, is any man's capacity for honor; a real man's knowledge that he will not compromise integrity or moral courage, especially in the face of evil and while protecting those incapable of protecting themselves; the most vulnerable among us.

Tears are not a sign of weakness, but of a pure heart.  Tears are a sign of the inner strength we possess which allows us to resign ourselves to our final choice.  It is the strength which guarantees evil will never win the war.  It is a strength evil understands only too well, fears most, and cannot prevent.  God bless the heroes of humanity.

“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.”

-- John 15:13

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.