Personal Exploration and Discovery

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” 

-- Andre Gide (1869-1951), 1947 Nobel Prize in Literature

Once again, knowing what I wanted to write about, personal exploration and discovery, was at odds with actually having something to say.  This happens to me more often than not, and I have learned to be patient and something will present itself to spur me onward.  Well, it happened again.  Just as I was finished working outside and getting ready to take a shower before hitting the blog once more, someone dear to me called.  She was tired and frustrated as she and her husband's search for a house seemed to continuously run aground.  They set out to discover new oceans, dared to lose sight of the shore, and encountered some rough weather.  This is to be expected when life is disrupted with moving a household out of state, being downsized out of a current job, finding new employment, finding a new home you can afford much less get a loan for, ensuring your children are secure, etc.  Any one of these would be a cause for stress, much less having to shoulder all of them together.  The good news was, the job was all but waiting.

“Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least when you let them, when you work with circumstances instead of saying, 'This isn't supposed to be happening this way,' and trying harder to make it happen some other way.”

-- Benjamin Hoff, "The Tao of Pooh" 

Everything we do that is new is a voyage of exploration and discovery.  If we just sit in our cabin and await our destination we will miss the sights and sounds of our voyage, the many ports of call, and perhaps the occasional adventure.  In the case presented above, I have to fall back on the adage, it does little good to stress over that over which you have no control.  Hell, it does little good to stress over that which you do have some modicum of control.  It is a voyage of discovery after all; go out and discover!  Such was my advice.  Take a break, breathe, and relax.  After a week, sit down, make a new plan with a new tact, and go back out into the world with the understanding that all will present itself in good time.  I stated the obvious and, as expected, she was already there.  

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

-- Marcel Proust (1871-1922), French novelist

We all stress, usually over issues of our own making.  Oh, we blame other people generally because we have a hard time accepting responsibility for our own stupidity but, truth be known, the fault usually lies squarely on our own shoulders.  When I hear someone is at the end of their rope, stressed to the proverbial breaking point, I usually ask why.  What I usually get back are results that they think are causes.  "My boss is being a prick."  The statement is a result.  By asking "why," we work our way backward and learn as we go.  Why is the boss a prick?  "The project was late."  Another result.  Why was the project late?  We continue to explore the "why" of things until, sooner or later, there are no more reasons to ask the question, at which point you usually find out the real reason for the issue at hand.  Why isn't this done more often?  It isn't much fun for the explorer as we begin this journey down the less traveled, revealing path of obvious answers but, if they can be honest in their search, they almost always find some lost treasure at the end. 

“If you do something that has never been done you will collect treasures that have never been found.”

-- Jenna Newton

This person is very dear to me, and we don't talk nearly as much as we should.  Her stress will pass, as does most.  This will be looked back upon as another adventure in life with many little treasures of knowledge learned from the experience.  I would like to think it is because we do talk, have always talked, and I have always waited for her to discover.  Life is about lessons, not about someone doing your homework for you, and she is well aware of this.  She is not one of those to blame others or reach for the, all too often misinterpreted, breaking point.

"Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it."

-- Winnie the Pooh

To put my own fine point on it, those that think they have reached this stressful "breaking point" in their life should spend less time whining and more time finding out why where they strayed from their path.  Why did they end up in this quagmire?  When they work their way back up the trail to eventually find out where they went wrong, then they will be able to change their lives and make everything right again.  You can see, it truly is all about them.  If they can't do this if they can't take ownership of the outcome of their own decisions, they are doomed to remain on this course, and their lives will rely more on luck than on anything they can do to change their lot.

When the root cause of an issue is found, even if you do nothing, or feel you can do nothing, to change the course of events, there is much to be said for taking ownership and responsibility for your circumstance.  That, in itself, is life changing for the better and, any step forward is the beginning of a new journey.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."