Personal Exploration and Discovery

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” 

-- Andre Gide (1869-1951), 1947 Nobel Prize in Literature

Once again, knowing what I wanted to write about, personal exploration and discovery, was at odds with actually having something to say.  This happens to me more often than not, and I have learned to be patient and something will present itself to spur me onward.  Well, it happened again.  Just as I was finished working outside and getting ready to take a shower before hitting the blog once more, someone dear to me called.  She was tired and frustrated as she and her husband's search for a house seemed to continuously run aground.  They set out to discover new oceans, dared to lose sight of the shore, and encountered some rough weather.  This is to be expected when life is disrupted with moving a household out of state, being downsized out of a current job, finding new employment, finding a new home you can afford much less get a loan for, ensuring your children are secure, etc.  Any one of these would be a cause for stress, much less having to shoulder all of them together.  The good news was, the job was all but waiting.

“Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least when you let them, when you work with circumstances instead of saying, 'This isn't supposed to be happening this way,' and trying harder to make it happen some other way.”

-- Benjamin Hoff, "The Tao of Pooh" 

Everything we do that is new is a voyage of exploration and discovery.  If we just sit in our cabin and await our destination we will miss the sights and sounds of our voyage, the many ports of call, and perhaps the occasional adventure.  In the case presented above, I have to fall back on the adage, it does little good to stress over that over which you have no control.  Hell, it does little good to stress over that which you do have some modicum of control.  It is a voyage of discovery after all; go out and discover!  Such was my advice.  Take a break, breathe, and relax.  After a week, sit down, make a new plan with a new tact, and go back out into the world with the understanding that all will present itself in good time.  I stated the obvious and, as expected, she was already there.  

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

-- Marcel Proust (1871-1922), French novelist

We all stress, usually over issues of our own making.  Oh, we blame other people generally because we have a hard time accepting responsibility for our own stupidity but, truth be known, the fault usually lies squarely on our own shoulders.  When I hear someone is at the end of their rope, stressed to the proverbial breaking point, I usually ask why.  What I usually get back are results that they think are causes.  "My boss is being a prick."  The statement is a result.  By asking "why," we work our way backward and learn as we go.  Why is the boss a prick?  "The project was late."  Another result.  Why was the project late?  We continue to explore the "why" of things until, sooner or later, there are no more reasons to ask the question, at which point you usually find out the real reason for the issue at hand.  Why isn't this done more often?  It isn't much fun for the explorer as we begin this journey down the less traveled, revealing path of obvious answers but, if they can be honest in their search, they almost always find some lost treasure at the end. 

“If you do something that has never been done you will collect treasures that have never been found.”

-- Jenna Newton

This person is very dear to me, and we don't talk nearly as much as we should.  Her stress will pass, as does most.  This will be looked back upon as another adventure in life with many little treasures of knowledge learned from the experience.  I would like to think it is because we do talk, have always talked, and I have always waited for her to discover.  Life is about lessons, not about someone doing your homework for you, and she is well aware of this.  She is not one of those to blame others or reach for the, all too often misinterpreted, breaking point.

"Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it."

-- Winnie the Pooh

To put my own fine point on it, those that think they have reached this stressful "breaking point" in their life should spend less time whining and more time finding out why where they strayed from their path.  Why did they end up in this quagmire?  When they work their way back up the trail to eventually find out where they went wrong, then they will be able to change their lives and make everything right again.  You can see, it truly is all about them.  If they can't do this if they can't take ownership of the outcome of their own decisions, they are doomed to remain on this course, and their lives will rely more on luck than on anything they can do to change their lot.

When the root cause of an issue is found, even if you do nothing, or feel you can do nothing, to change the course of events, there is much to be said for taking ownership and responsibility for your circumstance.  That, in itself, is life changing for the better and, any step forward is the beginning of a new journey.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."
   

Sunday Thought, March 1, 2015: Easter - Just a Thought

I realize I'm more than a month early for this post, but I wanted everyone to have some time to reflect on your own thoughts about the Easter holy day.  I have included a couple of links to the text which, I hope, will entice you to read further and become more familiar with the hidden religion of Christianity that, I feel, is slowly being accepted as more to the heart of the faith than what we have been forced fed as truth for two thousand years.  The reason it has been hidden and denied by the hierarchy is evident when you read the words.  It isn't about control or fear, and it doesn't read like Biblical text as it hasn't been translated to death by monks with agendas.  I offer the following as translated from the Nag Hamadi Text, commonly referred to as The Gospel of Mary:

"Be on your guard so that no one deceives you by saying, 'Look over here!' or 'Look over there!' For the child of true Humanity exists within you. Follow it! Those who search for it will find it.  Go then, preac[h] the good news about the Realm. [Do] not lay down any rule beyond what I determined for you, nor promulgate law like the lawgiver, or else you might be dominated by it."

-- Jesus, "The Gospel of Mary"

And what have Peter and the Christian churches done since?  They have said, "'Look over here!' or 'Look over there!'" when the true child of humanity does not lie in the church or in the priest, but within us.  They lay down rules beyond what Jesus and God have determined for us and they "promulgate law like the lawgiver," and we are dominated by it!

After the Christ rose from death, the story of Jesus does not end.  It continues through The Gospel of Mary, and reveals much of the struggle between faith and egos, egos which Peter and Andrew would ultimately fall prey to, and which would ultimately shape Christianity as we know it today.  Was this the faith which the Christ intended, or was the meaning of the life he lived, and his death on the cross, mistakenly left in the hands of a total incompetent that would go against everything the savior wished?  Jesus, by his own admission, was just a man.  That he loved Peter so much as to be blinded to Peter's latent sexist attitudes and greed for power is not beyond reason, nor is the possibility that Andrew's ignorance might make him more of a sheep to be led and, perhaps without his realizing it, develop this same taste for power and control.  After all, these were the very same people that Jesus knew would deny him.  

I invite you to follow this link to read "The Gospel of Mary" and decide for yourself.  This gospel  is considered a gnostic text; basically scholars question if it speaks any truth.  A bit of commentary, from James M. Robinson, is found at the top of the translation at www.sol.com.au/kor/7_03.htm. 

I wrote about The Gospel of Mary back in August of 2013 in my post, The Savior Said..., and, instead of going through it all again, I invite you to follow the link and consider these other views I offer.  In short, I find it fascinating that only scripture, "sacred" written word that demands fear and unconditional obedience to an omnipotent being that meads out pity in measure to how much you grovel, were chosen for the Bible of Christianity.  And yet, these lost gospels, which seem to relate a kinder, gentler, and highly intelligent side of the philosophies of the Christ, were left out.

Did Jesus rise?  I don't know, do you?  What if he didn't?  Would it matter?

"A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world.  It was the perfect act."

-- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), philosopher, leader of Indian independence

Back it the mid-1980s I was afforded the opportunity to accept a special duty assignment with the intelligence detachment at Area 51.  I had top secret security clearances, with caveats, up the wazoo.  Even if I didn't have the required "need to know" for certain information and projects, I had always been able to finagle a way to find out.  I mean, really, if I couldn't do that one simple task there was no reason for me to be with intelligence, right?  Anyway, since I was a kid I had always had an interest in unidentified flying objects, UFOs, flying saucers.  For me, this was the assignment of a lifetime.  I declined the invitation.  This was probably the only chance I would ever have to answer the questions we all have about Area 51, and I didn't take it.  I just didn't want to know.

"Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."

-- Saint Augustine (354-430)

The risk with having faith is finding out the truth.  What happens if truth flies in the face of faith?  In the case of my assignment, I decided I would rather continue believing, having faith, in the possibility we are being visited by extraterrestrials than risk finding out flying saucers aren't real.  What would be the fun in that?  Did Jesus rise after death?  I would rather have a continuing faith that he did, than to find out he's just a mummified future museum exhibit lost in some forgotten hole in a desert mountainside.

Does it matter?  Our lives are inundated with lies and bullshit.  It is an essential part of marketing, politics, and religion.  We are born to exist as "marks" to be constantly taken advantage of at a moment's notice by the latest snake oil salesman.  I think it matters that our faith isn't based on lies and bullshit.  Personally, I think the Bible is rife with contradictions, and questionable passages, philosophy, and provenance.  Unfortunately it is all we have, until there is something else, like gospels, texts, and libraries of forgotten knowledge buried in desert cashes.

"The great gift of Easter is hope - Christian hope which makes us have confidence in God, in His ultimate triumph, and in His goodness and love, which nothing can shake."

-- Basil Hume (1923-1999), Benedictine monk and Archbishop of Westminster

But, for me, the story of Jesus rising goes to the very heart of faith, a faith that there is something more to look forward to after death.  It was His proof to us of a life in another plane of existence, a "Kingdom of Heaven."  Without faith in this eventual outcome, what were we to be left with, just another crucified prophet?  No proof of a "Son of God."  No physical manifestation presented as the living God on earth.

"Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance."

-- Reba McEntire, country singer, songwriter, actress

I am sixty-one years old.  If Jesus didn't rise, I don't want to know about it.  What possible good would it serve to know, other than to make the day of radical atheists.  The joke would be on them, though.  They'd have to find something else to constantly bitch about, or give up their membership in the League of the Perpetually Offended.  As with Area 51, I just don't want to know.  

I am perfectly content to live, what is left of my life, having faith in little green men and the loving God that made us all.

I offer one version of a typical television news story heard each year on the final Friday of Lent:

"Today is Good Friday, observed by Christians worldwide as a day that commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, whose death redeemed the sins of mankind." 

Here is the way it should be written:

"Today is Good Friday, observed worldwide by Jesus buffs as the day on which the popular, bearded cultural figure, sometimes referred to as The Messiah, was allegedly crucified and according to legend died for mankind's so-called sins. Today kicks off a 'holy' weekend that culminates on Easter Sunday, when, it is widely believed, this dead 'savior' who also, by the way, claimed to be the son of a sky-dwelling, invisible being known as God, mysteriously 'rose from the dead.' According to the legend, by volunteering to be killed and actually going through with it, Jesus saved every person who has ever lived and every person who ever will live from an eternity of suffering in a fiery region popularly known as hell, providing so the story goes that the person to be 'saved' firmly believes this rather fanciful tale." 

That would be an example of unbiased news reporting. Don't wait around for it to happen. The aliens will land first." 

"They came from the sky", excerpt from "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?" (George Carlin, 2004)

Think about the comedy excerpt of George Carlin this way:  The news story is the party line the church pumps out, every year.  The way it should be written defines why our faith is so strong in the face of all the obstacles put in the way of a possible truth.  Either way, I win.

I also believe strongly in a second chance.  I have faith.



Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance

 and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.

Carpenter's Gothic

Carpenter's Gothic, the architectural style of the house in the background of the famous 1930 painting, American Gothic, by Grant Wood.  The painting is shown here with the models, his sister, Nan, and his dentist, Dr. Byron McKeeby.  I only element I see that makes this house "gothic" would be the pointed-arch window.  In all the years I have known the name of this painting, I never knew why the artist named it so.  You learn something every day, and I have been reminded that things aren't always what they seem.  Then, I went for a walk.

As I walked down FEMA's multimillion dollar breakwater surrounding the new harbor for the fishing fleet, I glanced at the shoreline and spied the twenty foot high stainless steel cross that made it through Hurricane Katrina.  I thought about Jesus on his last day and how he must have also thought that things aren't always as they seem.  Things can be what we expect, yet not be as we expect.  He surely knew the ultimate outcome of the day, but the pain of torture must have come as a shock.  It was kind of like this new harbor in that the city got their hands on federal disaster relief and spent it on a poorly utilized harbor instead of revitalizing the community with quaint shops, and beautiful streets.  Most of the town knew the ultimate outcome but didn't seem to realize how slow and painful it would be to get there, if ever.

I usually find taking a walk clears my mind and helps me focus on the post at hand.  Normally this includes running into situations or people that bear out the message in my post.  Today was no different.  I wandered from the harbor to Bacchus, the restaurant overlooking the shrimping fleet and the gulf.  I sat outside on the deck, fully intending to have a tall iced tea.  Bacchus has a $2.00 domestic beer and well drink "happy hour" that starts at 2:00 p.m. and lasts for eight hours.  Needless to say, one of my favorite haunts.

Anyway, I'm tapping my pad with the pen when a couple of geriatric biker babes came outside from the main restaurant and asked if I was watching the television over the bar.  I said no and they disappeared back inside.  Minutes later another woman and three elderly men accompanied the first two women back outside to take up seats at my right.  Seeing this motley crew, my first thought was the reality show, Swamp People, except these folks were all decked out in Harley Davidson tee-shits, riding glasses propped rakishly on their heads over colorful bandanas and caps.  One of the gentlemen asked, again, if they could change the station to NASCAR.  I reiterated to be my guest, and he insisted on buying me a beer; redneck geriatric bikers and NASCAR, who would of thought? Well, who am I to refuse a free beer?  Against my feeble protestations, they bought me a round for letting them change the channel on a television that wasn't mine and I wasn't even watching.

I've never been able to wrap my feeble mind around soccer or NASCAR; both, for me, are like watching a freshly varnished board dry on the humid Mississippi coast.  In soccer you hope, in the course of two excruciating hours, someone will eventually make at least one point before you go comatose.  NASCAR seems to be what southerners consider a similar "sport," as the obvious game plan is to make continual left turns, as fast you can, for an hour or more, without crashing, burning to death, or killing anyone else including the scantily clad spectators pounding down dogs and beer.  The drivers do all of this in a hot, humid, vehicle while wearing fire retardant jump suits, sucking exhaust, wishing they'd peed before starting, and all the while trying to cross the finish line first.  But then, things aren't always what they seem.  I will have to have a NASCAR groupie clue me in on the finer points, one day.

These folks, and this whole situation, were another example God throws out there for me when I'm looking for inspiration.  They were rife with possible preconceptions other people would make about them, and they turned out to be kind, personable, grandparents and seemingly loaded with disposable income.  They were also driving cars and not motorcycles, a fact that really threw me off.  Though liberally sprinkled with "colorful" language, their conversation traveled from merlot and pinot noir, to the tasty menu, motorcycles, and NASCAR.  At the end of it all I had to shake my head and thank God for the inspiration, and the reminder - you can't judge a book by its cover.  And, like their conversation that went from merlot to NASCAR, I have managed to trip my way  through American Gothic to find myself at that same destination.

American Gothic; a statement on architecture, the Bible belt, or American culture of the day?  I wonder, maybe it doesn't have to speak to us at all.  Maybe it's just a nice painting.  By the same token, maybe what we see of other people doesn't need to speak to us either.  Maybe they're just nice people, and things aren't always what they seem.  For instance, you can just look at Nan and Dr. McKeeby and tell right off that neither of their cars came in first.

I still don't know who won the race.



Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite. 

Sunday Thought, February 22, 2015: Dance like There's Nobody Watching!

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.”

-- William W. Purkey, author, educator

We had our Mardi Gras celebration in Pass Christian this past Sunday.  We pack our small town with thousands to watch the many floats.  This is one of several celebrations the community looks forward to throughout the year, and they take this one especially to heart with lots of beads and colorful floats, dress, and people.  Lots of people!  Lots of happy people!  People that were dancing in the streets, in their seats, and in the front of their businesses.  I have found that it doesn't take much to get these folks to cut loose, and why not?

These two gentlemen joined two women on the sidewalk for a bit of two-on-two line dancing and was anyone watching?  Nope.  There was the occasional glance, a smile, and even another couple of much younger girls than joined in momentarily.  Why didn't more people take notice?  Because everyone does it down here!  It just isn't that big of a deal.  The folks that get noticed would be the ones that do it well enough to compete on Dancing with the Stars.

What made this great for me is the fact they're both military veterans; one of them is a Marine and the other is Army.  This was of particular interest to me as an Air Force retiree, to catch Marine and Army grunts dancing... together.  But, isn't this what life is all about?  Aren't we supposed to relax and have fun occasionally?  Well, why can't we do it all the time?  Good question.  Why not?  Why can't we just walk down the street and have a moment of spontaneous dance?  Who would really care and, even if they did, why should you give a fig?  Better if they just joined in and made a spontaneous "mob dance" the new rave in the world.

Why don't we make the conscious attempt this Sunday, in church or downtown, to have a moment of dance and laughter?  Let's grab the partner next to us, the wife, stranger, or friend, and dance a little ditty just for the hell of it.  Let's throw caution to the wind and make ourselves look silly for the briefest of moments.  Who knows, maybe we'll like it and make it a constant part of our lives.  How great would that be?  And, if the children see the adults losing control, in a good way, what possible harm would that do?  They might just grow up remembering a time when life was fun, even for just a moment.

Again, how great would that be?

Smile, and may God bless!

"I'm making the statement that we should all live life and have a laugh.  Nakedness is a thing where people take notice.  If you do it the right way, people laugh."

-- Mark Roberts (1921-2006), actor

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

What do you say to the sick or dying?

"How do you try to say the right words when talking to her and her family? How much more can she take? Then we are going through the grieving process as well. We are still dealing with my brother in law's own Cancer treatment. It just seems so overwhelming? What would be a good part of the Bible I could read that might give me some Hope and Inspiration? Thanks for your help buddy. God bless."

This is typical of email I get every so often as I travel my path. It is email I dread having to answer, for obvious reasons. Trying to say the right words would be easier for me than finding those right words to say. I have known this gentleman for only a short while but I could have known him for a lifetime and the answers would not come easier. His life seems to be one of continual tests of his resolve and faith, and this is not the first time he has sought out my thoughts.  

What do you say to the sick or dying?  How in God's name would I know?  One thing I know I wouldn't want to hear, is bullshit.  Let's face it, telling some guy on the battlefield he's going to be fine when his intestines are spilling all over the ground because the artillery round blew off the lower part of his body seems a little self-serving.  You sidestep having to tell him he's dead already but his brain just hasn't caught up with the fact, and he lies in his own gore looking at you and thinking, "Say what?" as your credibility crashes and burns during their last dying gasp.  Better you had not said anything than to say something stupid and let it be the last words they hear.  I've never been very good at blowing smoke up someone's ass, especially when the outcome is so painfully obvious.  I think it is more respectful if you just hold them and give them honesty.  How are they going to make peace with God if you're morally abandoning them by lying about the outcome?  

The following is the humble response I sent to my friend:

My friend, this was so sad to hear. The difficulty in finding the right words is oft times the result of not wanting to cause more grief than they already experience. My view is colored by my faith and not by any false sense of propriety required to make anyone feel better before the, seemingly, inevitable. God called her to task. If this task were simply a test of her faith winning the bout with breast cancer might have been the end of it. I guess there comes a time when someone has to ask, "How much more do I have to endure?" It could be her faith isn't strong enough, yet. It may also be that she was never meant to win and man has just been postponing what God intends for her. She may be needed elsewhere.

Once again you have found yourself in the unenviable position of trying to be responsible for others happiness, without the words to guarantee it. Unless asked, it is probably best to remain silent. Offer an ear, a shoulder, and prayers when needed. Be strong in your faith and let them recognize that in you; it may help them to find their own strength and understand that which may be soon upon them.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. Fort what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

-- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

-- John 14:1-4 

Sometimes, my friend, God must press the children for more than they can give. Sometimes this requires the ultimate of sacrifice. We all know this, God has told us, laid it before us, and we, as always opt to look away and cover our ears. This test is not hers alone. If her faith is strong, perhaps the test is meant for someone else and she is simply God's instrument to achieve for mankind something larger than herself. Her faith and that of those around her should solidify her place in heaven. If none of this is understood, then there is no hope except that which God affords.

Be sensitive and mindful of what they are going through.  Their pain is as much mental as physical.  Sometimes being silent and a good listener are more important to them than all the good intentions you can spew from your ever moving pie hole.  Hold them, cry with them, and be there for them, even if they shun you in favor of self-pity.  They are looking for a rock when family and friends are crumbling to sand along with them.   At times it makes one wonder who is really dying, the patient or the family. We need to be the solid rock they can anchor to until the storm passes.  Notice I said they can tie to.  Whether they do or not is up to them, but at least you offer an option.  You cannot force them to accept your shoulder, you can only be there for if they do.  The family may not appreciate that the loved one chooses your anchorage over theirs.  Hey, time for them to buck up.  It isn't about them, and as much sympathy for their feeling as I might be able to muster, if I'm having to do it, it is because they have failed, failed for reason, but failed none the less.

I do not color what I say to people that ask me questions or seek advice.  My dad always brought me up to call a spade a spade.  This did not serve me well in the butt kissing world of the military, nor the seriously butt kissing corporate world, but I could always look in the mirror at the end of the day and know I did the right thing saying that which had to be said.  Many times I have had people I know slam their door shut on me, put up the walls and make sure the crocs in their moat were hungry.  Patience is a virtue I am learning.  More times than not, giving them some time to consider what was said brings them back around to the possibility I might have been right, or at least that I offered the most honest answer of those around them.  As I find myself vomiting thoughts all over the paper in order to get to the point, let me reiterate that honesty is my entire point here.  But it is honesty tempered with understanding and a heartfelt desire to be there for them.  Hold them close, be honest, and be there.

I will walk with you for a bit, if you'd like,
on this, the last mile of your path here.
Arm in arm we will talk and laugh,
perhaps we will cry in our memories. 

At the end of the day, you must go.
I must stay, as my path still has distance,
but you must forge ahead
unto the next great adventure. 

Give me one last look before you go,
a glance over the shoulder, and a smile.
I will miss you, but we will meet again
and we will walk for a bit, arm in arm.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite. 

Sunday Thought, February 15, 2015: The Power of Love

The Power of Love

Last night at the store, after a long day with hubby at the doctors, there was a little boy we ran into in Walmart.  He fell in love with Lilly (hubby's service animal, yes, shes a cat). The little boy was in tears.  When I asked him if he was ok he broke down and cried. He said he was there with grandma, and grandpa normally gets her roses for Valentine's Day but he's in heaven now and this is the first time grandpa won't be able to give her flowers in forty years.  He also told me, since his mommy didn't have a husband, he could only afford to buy one of them roses. He asked me who Lilly and I, since we were girls, thought he should buy roses for.

I introduced his mother and grandma to Lilly and my husband and ask them if they would sit with my husband and Lilly while I quickly grabbed the things we needed and that I would be right back.  The young man had already showed me their favorite flowers so I grabbed them and snuck up to the service desk. I explained to the people there what I was doing and they let me purchase the bunch of flowers and arrange them in two sets at the counter. As I walked back to hubby and the family, I motioned to the boy to come over so he could sign their cards.  He gave me a huge hug.  I told him he had a great grandpa and his grandma needed the flowers also.

We walked over to the benches and he proudly presented both his mom and grandmother the flowers. He was a lovely boy and was raised to respect the ladies in his life. The grandmother and I spoke for a while.  She needed an ear, yet was so use to being the strong one. It was such a blessing to see a young man care about and treat the ladies in his life with love and respect.

May we all, as ministers, lead by example.  Is there someone around you that you know may be lonely and down with the Hallmark holiday that a quick note or a small "in the budget" gift will uplift their spirits?  It doesn't have to be a marriage proposal, or even a date.  It can be a "just because you are another human being" gesture.

GYPSY - February 13, 2015

I asked Gypsy if I could reprint her post from the Truth Dreamer website for this week's Sunday Thought, as I thought it has relevance for all of us.  She agreed.  Gypsy follows a pagan path and is a fellow interfaith minister.  Her and her husband both suffer from various physical and emotional issues due to his military service and her life events.  At times these ailments are debilitating, and yet, she finds the strength and the love to be the person we see above.  And my point is what?

It takes so little, from even those whom themselves are in need, to give a little kindness that can make a difference in another's life.  Through her kindness these ladies see they do not walk their path alone, there are others there to lend a hand, or an ear.  The sweet young man learns there are angels that enter our lives in moments of sorrow and need.  I would not be surprised to see this kindness paid forward in his future.

Take a moment out this Valentine's Day, and Sunday, and reach out to another; to buy a single flower for and elderly woman, whose husband may have passed on, or simply to sit and talk for a brief moment.  A random act of kindness should always be in the forefront of our thoughts.  It takes so very little from us to make a moment greater for others.

Besides, a smile is a terrible thing to waste.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Charity Begins at Home

Charity is a means of economic oppression because it maintains an ideology that is directly in opposition to socialism. Charity reinforces so many misconceptions about society: that social change relies on us being nice and feeling generous with what little disposable income we have; and that the disadvantaged should wag their tails with gratitude every time the wealthy toss them a bone labelled "charity".

Megan Miranda, "Where Charity Begins & Why it Should End"

I gleaned this quote from the organization website of The Socialist Party of Great Britain while I was researching some material for my previous post, Fading into Memory.  Ms. Miranda tries to make this view she puts forward seem like fact, when the one, of two, clear facts is that it is an opinion. I chuckle when I hear socialists talk about oppression. Pure socialism is about as oppressive to a healthy economy as you can get.  I suppose economists would balk at this statement while historians might support it.  When you read this one paragraph, and I invite you to use the link and read the entire article, I see government intrusion in every line; charity is in opposition to a form of government, social change should be at the government whim and not linked the people being nice and feeling generous, and it is better for the government to toss the bone of charity than the individuals that have some disposable income. Of course, under socialism, there will be very little disposable income unless you are a member of the socialist elite; so much for financial equality.

I have a feeling this post is heading somewhere, they usually do, I'm just not sure where this one is going.  Please bear with me. 

My humble opinion of M. Miranda's article is that it vomits the expected socialist drivel onto free thinking, robust, capitalist economies in another failed attempt to have us all goose stepping to the anthem of some future godless, government controlled, police state which, historically, will economically implode on itself given enough time. The second clear fact is that this paragraph is, as I stated, also an opinion and, like my father has always pointed out, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. 

"Effective philanthropy requires a lot of time and creativity - the same kind of focus and skills that building a business requires."

-- Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft

I think we should all be philanthropic, when we have something to give back. We should all want to give, and experience the warm feeling of giving. But, of what benefit is it, for those that have, to be forced by government to give of their good fortune? Forced charity is not charity at all, it is a tax. Taxes are not liked and, by extension, the cause of the tax will not be liked (for those not keeping up, that would be those in need of charity). Taxes lack the driving force of philanthropy that only an entrepreneur, a captain of industry, or Mother Theresa can provide; a force for good that is replaced by a yoke of government intrusion. Even the poorest can provide charity for another, until the pot is empty.  When that "individual" force is mandated (demanded) the flood of freely given charity turns to a trickle; libraries and monuments to mankind disappear under the weight of governmental "best of intentions." I think it is better to leave those that have and have not to their own devices, as many of them make superb role models for those young people that follow in their footsteps.

True philanthropy requires a disruptive mindset, innovative thinking and a philosophy driven by entrepreneurial insights and creative opportunities.

-- Naveen Jain, business executive, entrepreneur

Socialism has no use for charity, it is a charity. They feel that we should all just do for each other, a noble concept for one incapable of seeing further out than the end of their nose. One must try to remember, if everyone is in the cart, no one is pulling it. There must be wealthy or there will be no wealth, and without a mass of wealth there can be no mass of charity; we will only be able to give till it hurts, after it hurts long enough the pain will stop, and that is usually the sign that there is no more left to give. For all the good intentions, the system becomes financially bankrupt and there is just no money left. Sounding familiar? Hmmmm....

"To take from one, because it is thought that his own industry and that of his fathers has acquired too much, in order to spare others, who, or whose fathers have not exercised equal industry and skill, is to violate arbitrarily the first principle of association, 'the guarantee to every one of a free exercise of his industry, and the fruits acquired by it'."

-- Thomas Jefferson, American Founding Father, 3rd President of the United States

This is one reason why pure socialism and communism constantly fail. The idea of each is enticing, but the burden of reality teaches they are as bad or worse as the government they replaced and the people will soon realize the mistake when they're society starts to go south on them. In the end, socialism and communism just don't work.  They don't work because everyone becomes poor, no one can speak out for change, and everyone becomes without hope. I think, for a lively, robust society to continue to exist, there must also exist hope; the idea that, as individuals, we have an opportunity to strive for something better. Without this desire we simply trade one form of slavery for another; the masters simply change places with a few "chosen" slaves as managers who become as bad or, more likely, worse than the previous regime. Our legacy then becomes giant monuments to government instead of to the betterment of mankind. We simply fade into memory, like the crew of the boat in my previous post. Archeologists study great monuments of failed societies throughout history. The monuments still exist, while the people have turned to dust.

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

-- Thomas Jefferson

I think we should give because it is the right thing to do, the moral and the humane thing to do.  It is what Jesus would do, right?  The question, for most of us and our government, is really how to go about giving.  I think Jefferson and Gates have eyes solidly on target.  It isn't about redistributing wealth.  Throwing money at poverty produces no long term gains for society or the individual.  As the Sephardic Jewish philosopher, Maimonides, said in the 11th century, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

But, then, who are we to ever remember history, much less learn from it?



Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.    

Fading into Memory

Photo courtesy of Crystal D'Zamba 

12971 

Retired from active duty, she sits on blocks. 

There will be no salvage as the wood surrenders to time.

The rats that jumped ship, replaced by their field mice cousins.

Winters come and go, and through all she abides her fate.

Yet, for 12971, the eye beholds her  hidden beauty.

One imagines the animation as she regains her old luster;

Paint and rotting planks miraculously become anew.

The men manning nets hanging from booms on the center mast.

The captain yelling out orders as the catch is spied ahead.

12971, a rotting derelict, all but forgotten.

For those that see, beyond what is presented,

There exists another beauty which can only come with age;

Of history, of adventure, and stories of those that served.

For those able to see, there is still much to learn.

Fishing boat 12971, retired from active duty?  Perhaps.

But, for as long as she can be seen, she teaches.

She teaches about life, work, and a love for the sea.

There is a lesson of history, danger, and livelihood.

And there remains a quiet beauty, as nature reclaims her soul.

12971; she could be any one of us.

As we get older, are we fading into memory?  Are we doomed to be hauled off to rot on some forgotten corner of land, ourselves to be forgotten in the course of time?  What of our lives and adventures, lost loves and love found?  Does a lifetime of success boil down to a retirement home and a round of golf?  Is this all there is, and is this enough?

I have known some very wealthy people and I have heard of others.  Many of them work their entire lives to leave their mark on industry, the business world, or just in their profession.  They will be remembered, some footnote in history, some plaque on a wall; remembered and just as quickly forgotten.  It is more likely one will be remembered for what they do for others, than what they do for themselves.  It is their selflessness, not their selfishness, which etches them into our memories.  Our legacy should not be what we have built for ourselves but, rather, what we have built for others and what we contribute to society.

"I would rather have it said, 'He lived usefully,' than, 'He died rich.'"

-- Benjamin Franklin

What is the difference between fishing boat 12971 and the flight by the Wright brothers at Kitty Hawk?  We look at 12971, imagine all of her contributions, and see an artistic beauty which remains.   The crew has long faded into memory.  As for Kitty Hawk, we remember Orville and Wilbur Wright, and we may see the craft they flew in our minds eye, but it is their contribution to the world which sticks firmly to memory.

“If you're in the luckiest one per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent.”

-- Warren Buffett, business magnate, investor, philanthropist

Many of us see the libraries, museums, centers for the performing arts, and the like.  We see the benefactor's names that adorn the many buildings and remember their wealth being used to enrich the lives of the common man, not so much do we remember how they made their enormous wealth.  Even today there are billionaires that, selfishly, fully intend on leaving their massive fortunes to charities and the betterment of mankind so they can feel so much better about themselves.  Somehow that statement just doesn't float.  Perhaps, even more to the point, they just don't want to fade from memory.  Do any of us?

But, the majority doesn't have the finances to leave this kind of legacy behind.  For us there is the legacy of paying it forward.  What we do today can have great effect on those that come after.  How we treat others has great effect on how they, in turn, treat someone else.  What we teach to others is taught, by them, to someone else.  Our legacy is not in what we have, but in what we do.  Will we eventually fade into memory?  Of course, after all, only the pharaohs and kings are ever unearthed by archeologists with any fanfare.  Their minions, for the most part, regardless of contribution, are lost to the sands of time.

But, for as long as she can be seen, she teaches.

She teaches about life, work, and a love for the sea.

There is a lesson of history, danger, and livelihood.

And there remains a quiet beauty, as nature reclaims her soul.

Editor's Note:  

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion.  It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other.  An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth.  After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human.  God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.
  

Pastor Frank Anthony Villari

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of "The Path," the Congregation's official blogsite.