Wedding Officiant

"My advice to you is to get married.  If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

-- Socrates

Four centuries before Christ, and truer words were never spoken, as far as I'm concerned.  It has taken me almost thirty-eight years to understand what makes a good marriage. It took me twenty-four of those, and a nasty divorce, to understand what makes a bad one.  I spent the last forteen years philosophising about this and other aspects of what makes life worth living.  To this end I became a ordained, started my blog, and still philosophize.  

Philosophizing suits people that blog, but it seems amazing anyone ever reads a philosopher blogger's posts.  Consider the definition:  To speculate or theorize about fundamental or serious issues, especially in a tedious or pompous way.  When was the last time you heard someone say, "This is a very interesting article and I just love the author.  He is so tedious and pompous, you can't help but love him!"  Well, I'll cop to tedious.  Occasionally I'm an ass, but rarely a pompous one  (my friend Hilda will argue this point, I'm certain).

So, anyway, I was approached the other day by my local bartender who runs a dinner boat out of the local harbor,  She asked if I would be interested in performing a couple of weddings that have been scheduled on their boat.  Sounded like it would be fun.  This idea of performing a marriage was the impetus behind my last post, "Marriage or Matrimony?" (The Path: Sunday Sermon - August 3, 2014: Marriage or Matrimony?)

Judith Johnson, an author and interfaith minister, posted an interesting article about wedding officiants.  I have included the URL if you'd like to read more.  The excerpt below gives the gist of the post.

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-johnson/what-is-a-wedding-officia_b_4098469.html)

"In the past, most weddings were conducted either by religious clergy or civil officiants such as judges, justices of the peace, and ship captains. In recent years, it has become popular to have a friend or family member be your wedding officiant. This is accomplished by going on-line to sign up for ministerial credentials with a religious group such as the Universal Life Church that offers them without any requirements of training, dogmatic beliefs, or religious/spiritual practice. Their only requirement is that you ask to be ordained. According to their website, they have granted over 20 million ordinations to date. On-line ordinations take advantage of the separation of church and state by limiting the legal right of the state to challenge the religious organization's authority and rules regarding to whom they grant ordination credentials. Some states and local jurisdictions, however, are beginning to challenge the legitimacy of on-line ordinations, so be sure to check out any controversy in the jurisdiction where you plan to be married."

She is absolutely on target with every comment she made.  I recommend anyone thinking of using a wedding officiant to do their homework and start by reading the article at the URL listed above.  The ULC, of which I am a monastery member and ordained minister, does not require anything of you except payment.  There are many good, qualified, and serious ministers in the ULC that only wish a venue for getting their version of the "word of God" into the light of day.  On the other hand, you can imagine the health number of people that just do it as a lark and the serious number of loons that make the entire idea of online ordination a screaming joke.  Does there need to be some weeding out of good from the bad?  Absolutely.  There should be tests and essays required.  Since my affiliation with the ULC, I have been an advocate that any serious minister should constantly post on the monastery blog.  They should most certainly have a blog of their own to evidence their serious conviction to their ministry.

The entire process has made me think about what my personal prerequisites are, before I consent to be a couple's wedding officiant.  Not to do so would be a disservice to myself, the couple, and the State in which I perform the ceremony.  The wedding coming up in just a couple of weeks will be my first and it is intimidating.  That I will give it my best shot is not an issue.  That I will post on the outcome?  Definitely.  That I know something about marriage, relationships, divorce, and hypocrisy?  Another resounding, yes!  Right out of the chalks, in life experience, I am fifty percent, or more, ahead of a Catholic priest on the subject.

I am willing to give these two weddings a fair shot.  Will I be proficient?  I will leave that up to the couple getting wed.  They will be my judge.  If I can't get the hang of it I won't do it, as it will, again, be a disservice to the couple and my own personal beliefs.