My Sunday Thought for 10022016: Racism - Not My Monkey

I will be spreading this new saying as I think it simplifies the entire point of keeping other people's stress out of your own life and off of your path. With everything going on in the world today that is of so much more importance than the trivial bullshit involved in the circus we visit upon ourselves, maybe we should all recognize, early on, there is nothing entertaining here and learn to leave the "big top" when we see the monkey has set the tent ablaze.

-- "Not My Circus, Not My Monkey" (August 8, 2015)

I will be upfront and honest with my readers, as I always try to be.  Tonight I have some help from Mr. Evan Williams, working hard to keep me on the narrow, if not necessarily straight.  This has been one of those posts which I have labored over, written and rewritten, and will probably continue to rewrite days after I post it.  Like abortion and child abuse, this is a topic which hurts my heart, my faith, and my patriotism.  America is everything to me.  Those that know me also know I have no compunction dying for her, or killing to protect her.

There comes a time when you have to make a choice of whether to be a patriot or not.  Whether, as a soldier, to die protecting a President which you have little or no respect for, simply because you took an oath to protect them, or to commit treason to your country, your oath, and your self-respect by letting the poor sap drown in a pool of their own blood.  Fortunately for our Presidents, an oath is only a guideline for fair-weather patriots.  True patriots don't have the luxury of sticking our finger in the air to gauge the political weather every five minutes - that's the job of Congress.  Patriots care about the Constitution and the people of these United States.  Patriots assume those people elected by the ignorant rabble are also law abiding patriots worthy of our protection, and that the orders they give us are morally, ethically, and legally worthy of bringing to fruition; anything else is simply anarchy.  We live with the knowledge that, if things go awry, we will leave no man behind.  Or, at least we used to believe this.  It would seem better advice nowadays, when the chips are down, to bend over and kiss your brave patriotic ass goodbye.  There will be no expectation of rescue; no cavalry charging over the hill to rescue Americans in harm's way.

True patriots also don't look for an excuse to milk the system.  We are the citizens that would think thrice about a lawsuit, unemployment, and certainly not welfare.  Hey, shit happens, get over it, pick yourself up, and move forward.  Just because you can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that you must do that thing.  Patriots don't buy into the bullshit.  We are what we are, what we have always been, first to fight, first to die.  Coming back in pieces is what we volunteer to do and hope we don't.  We don't see color in our band of brothers because we're too busy watching each other's backs.  On the field of battle, one becomes acutely aware all blood is red.  Any other color is not a player for the patriot, so show a little respect.  Those "patriots" who don't believe this maybe should learn to speak Farsi and prepare to reap their reward.

Racism in America?  I'll be the first to admit, I probably don't see it because I don't look for it.  I don't look for it because I wasn't brought up with it.  In the U.S. Air Force it wasn't tolerated.  It isn't a monkey I want digging its claws in my ass and climbing up my back, limiting the friendship pool.  I don't hold with it, I do not practice it.  I have always supported productive laws, programs and other recourse to defeat it, and I think the minorities that feel offended should make use of those legal tools to mitigate any perceived wrongdoing.  Having said all this, however, Americans are still being inundated by the media fomenting racial divisiveness in our country even though we have elected a black President.  Our Congress has a Black Congressional Caucus, which seems a bit racist as there is no Congressional White Caucus, and isn't Congress supposed to represent all Americans in the first place?  I guess that would presuppose Congress actually does their job.  The fact they don't would seem to evidence that, regardless of color or political tilt, all of Congress is corrupt.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) would seem to exist for the express purpose of stirring the racial pot instead of serving up healthy portions of brotherly love, and solving the inner city plight which has gotten worse since the creation of the NAACP back in 1909.  Perhaps I'm confused, but I assumed they were created for the advancement of all colored people, not just a chosen few.  Peace, brotherly love and equality, don't fill the NAACP coffers, however.  If the success of the NAACP, or any governmental programs, is evidenced by all the constant rioting in the North where everyone wants to equate their issues of joblessness, welfare, and lack of education, with Mississippi and a reason for violence, I'd say they have been a dismal failure.

Mississippi's problems stem from the North thinking that we're racists, which is the excuse the North uses for telling everyone not to do business in this state.  The north is so good at this propaganda they actually convince intelligent people to buy into their new history.  Hey, the victors write the lies of history and dictate survival to the losers, especially in today's liberal education system.  No shit?  Burning cities to the ground has always been a battle tactic of the North (re: Atlanta), so why should it surprise them when neighborhoods are torched?  Most hard working, God fearing, Mississippians would probably like to tell the North to clean their own house before throwing stones at theirs.  Seen any rioting down in Mississippi that equates to the North?  Pick up a real history book, for once, and see when the last one was, and good luck.  If you can pull your collective heads out of your ass long enough to smell the bullshit you're being spoon-fed.

The North will, sooner or later, probably succeed in re-infecting the South with the newest iteration of racist violence, perpetrated by blacks instead of whites, but until that happens, if you want to escape the Northern violence,  ya'll come visit.  

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

My mother is Mississippi born and bred.  She left until they cleaned up their racially divisive act, and raised me so I would not have to experience the evil of it.  She has returned to her home state and, to all outward appearances, it seems to have made a 180 degree turn.  Does racism exist in America?  Unfortunately, yes.  I see it every time I watch the news concerning the rioting up north.  I see it each time a cowardly assassin shoots a policeman in the back... up north.  I see it every time I go to a friend's Facebook page to read the racist comments left by the majority of their black "friends" which are tempered only by the minority of loving Christians of color in the group.  The fact that my friend is also black has bearing on this only in that, what racism I've encountered in Mississippi, the "in my face" racism, has been perpetrated upon me by a minority of black Mississippians.  I'm sure there are also whites in the same evil boat since evil is one trait which does not discriminate.

While what little, obvious, racism I have experienced was while cruising Facebook, one has to realize sites like Facebook offer a platform for cowards to say what they might not say to your face.  What concerns me most is when I discover friends I thought I knew, seemingly buying into the bullshit spouted by their own friends and readers by condoning the racist behavior instead of stepping up for more of a Christian attitude.  How very sad, for all of us, if this is true of my friends, and how very sad for Christianity when it becomes so clearly evident we have failed the sons and daughters of God.

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Now, I mentioned the only "in my face" racism I've encountered, but there is plenty of unspoken racism behind the looks one gets.  Equally as sad, for me at least, are these looks of veiled dislike I get from some people of color, as though being white is an immediate reason to hate me.  You can see it in their eyes and hear it in the forced greeting, if a greeting is even returned.  It's the look that says, "You're white."  It is the look which helps you identify with the victims of racism, because you are immediately a victim.  I experience it when I enter a hospital room to minister and realize my Christianity is the wrong color; there is a silent politeness which says, "Get out."  It would seem that Christian bigotry is color blind since Christians of both races practice it.  Christians, or hypocrites? 

Violence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

For the country as a whole this hatred seems to be, unfortunately, summed up in three words today - Black Lives Matter.  No other lives matter, only black lives.  We hear interviews with folks, black and white, saying this President has set equality in the United States back fifty years.  I would offer that he was only a catalyst to inflame rioters and protesters, those people perpetually offended, and those disenchanted with a government which has done little to better the circumstances of these communities.  The fact that the people in these communities may have done little or nothing to better their own circumstances seems moot.  These are the northern violent protestors, rioters, criminals and race baiters that have set the country's sense of equality back fifty years.  The current administration has done nothing but condone this behavior, by silence or by excuse.

One would hope Southern sensibilities would rise above buying into such bullshit, but it would seem ignorance and hatred are cruel taskmasters that have been given the uncontrolled platform of social media from which to spew the anarchy of racial divisiveness throughout our country and the world. 

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

To most Americans, I think these violent rioters and protesters have done their cause no favor by listening to, and acting on, liberal hate speak.  Everyone loves to throw out the "Dr. Martin Luther King card" as a reason for protesting injustice, and well they should.  But you cannot use Dr. King as an excuse to prove how stupid you are for rioting and destroying property; for burning down your house around your ears.  This is not what Dr. King was about, and one would think black leadership in America would be aware of this and have spent their time hammering this point home, which they haven't.   

Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. I am not unmindful of the fact that violence often brings about momentary results. Nations have frequently won their independence in battle. But in spite of temporary victories, violence never brings permanent peace...  Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Bigotry in America?  It is an unfortunate reality for all of humanity.  Equality in this country is still being learned.  It is not something that can be dictated by government.  Race, gender, and religion will enflame our emotions for some years to come as we work our way through the emotional, political, and media magnified bullshit, in order to find a real sense of family.  We must also wait for old memories to die or, at least, fade into history.

But, history will always be an excuse, a reason for some perceived wrong in the present, an excuse for violent retribution against the innocent.  What we must not do is fall into the trap set by those who would have us rewrite our history.  History is how we learn from the past.  We must not allow politicians and the media to continue using all of us as a tool for accomplishing a political party's agenda of governmental control in our society.  The only way we as a people can accomplish our goal of equality is to show a personal tolerance, understanding, and eventual acceptance of each other.  We must have a personal respect for rules of law, and we must agree to allow those rules to function with juries of our peers and to respect the final judgment of those juries - right or wrong.  

We need police forces and governments peopled with a percentage of minorities equal to the communities which they serve.  We need to stand shoulder to shoulder in fellowship, not spouting the divisive hatred we hear from rabble rousers in our midst.  We need to be intelligent enough to look beyond these self-serving hate mongers and see something better for our future.  We need to step up and take responsibility for the future of all of us, not just the perpetually offended few who will never be satisfied with any strides we take forward as a country; those for whom nothing will ever be enough. 

A riot is the language of the unheard...  The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I will most certainly pay for this post, as usual, with derisive comments I will receive from this League of the Perpetually Offended.  It will come, if history is any indicator, mostly from "Caucasian" readers, younger than myself, who have never read the writings of Dr. King or, if they did, have not understood a thing they read.  It is as if they feel guilt for crimes they did not commit.  They have allowed the perpetually offended to let this monkey loose on their back and, like ignorant cowards to afraid to stand up for themselves, they accept the guilt without questioning the source or validity of the accusations.

As a person devoid of color, I have no point of reference.  Because of this, I'm honest enough to admit I have probably missed much of Dr. King's sweet, tolerant reasonableness despite all his people have endured, simply because I did not endure it.  By the same token, I think many of younger blacks in our country suffer from this same ignorance of his philosophy.  You can read the evidence of this ignorance all over Facebook in their unforgiving comments about killing and hatred of all whites, a payback for slavery which they never endured, and slavery most whites, of this era, never condoned.  These people are all, generally, good people, white and black, good people of faith, caught up in the damning emotions, comments, and actions of someone else's stupidity and politically motivated agendas.  They find themselves acting against all better judgment, no better than the fools who govern them these political agendas instead of the Constitution.  They forget to be Americans, patriots, and people of faith, and their faith forgets, as usual, what it professes to believe - that we are all brothers and sisters, the children of God.

I will pay for this post with a vehemence which would make one think I was personally responsible for their hatred.  I have grown a thick skin, however, especially when it comes from an onslaught of ignorance.

Any religion that professes to be concerned about the souls of men and is not concerned about the slums that damn them, the economic conditions that strangle them and the social conditions that cripple them is a spiritually moribund religion awaiting burial... Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. 

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is not my circus, it most certainly is not my monkey, and it saddens me that we have learned nothing from watching the circus, year after year, as it burns when it comes to town.  We keep paying more and more for a ticket and the entertainment value continues to fall flat when the monkey torches the big top and we're left to toast marshmallows over the flames of misspent emotions.  I vote we stop inviting this offensive circus to town and spend our hard earned money on a planned cookout instead.  We can all sit around in fellowship and sing, "Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya; come by here, my Lord, come by here," and hope our effort doesn't fall on deaf ears.

This is not my circus?  It's time for all of us to step up and own the "big top" as the circus of our own making.  Maybe it's time we castrate that damned, racist, monkey and burn it on the pyre of intelligence, the flame of God's love for all mankind.  Maybe it's time for a family cookout.

I'll have a thigh, red beans and rice, and a cold beer.  Don't forget a hearty helping of greens and pot liquor.  Let us hope the monkey is fat and slow roasted.  They're known to be a bit tough and stringy, but... I understand they taste like chicken.  

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.

My Sunday Thought for 09252016: Transgender - An Absence of Compassion

I’m still me. Through the name I asked to be called and the pronouns, it’s still me underneath. All that changed is that I’m not a girl, but I really never have been.

-- Anonymous

As Christians we are taught that God is perfect, that God does not make mistakes, and everything happens for a reason.  If this is true, why does it seem we constantly find ourselves forever at odds with God's creations simply because they don't meet our definitions of what they ought to be?  Has it occurred to the hypocritically offended that, just perhaps, those that are different than us are undergoing some divine test?  Perhaps it is our test, to see how we exercise our faith in God's perfection.  We have interpreted scripture to allow us the privilege, the God given right, to judge others in defiance of that very same scripture which tells us not to judge.  We show a lack of compassion for those in most need of it, then we wonder why they act offended by our lack of it.  One of these groups needs to take the high road and reflect the "sweet reasonableness" which is Christ, or we are all doomed.

I grew up in the Monterey Bay area during the 1960s.  Sex, drugs, peace, love, rock and roll, hippies, and the gay community that was the Castro District of San Francisco.  SF was less than an hour away, and the exclusive arts community of Carmel was just over the hill, so it was reasonable to understand how the gay community would find its way to the Monterey area.

Being transgender, like being gay, tall, short, white, black, male, or female, is another part of the human condition that makes each individual unique, and something over which we have no control. We are who we are in the deepest recesses of our minds, hearts and identities.

-- Linda Thompson

As a teenager I think I can say I saw it all, from schoolmates questioning their own sexual orientation, crossdressers, to the subtly effeminate and the flaming queer, and, for a small segment of "men's men," gay bashing went far beyond simple verbal abuse.  It was a time when LGBT was not an acronym; you were a homosexual, a lesbian, or a queer.  Parents disowned gay children or hired psychiatrists to try and fix something that, we would soon learn, wasn't broken.  And, we were witnesses to history as the San Francisco police department was in discussion concerning gays serving with the SFPD.  That history has been repeated of late with the acceptance of the LGBT community into the armed forces.  

During the 60s I concerned myself with researching unidentified flying objects, listening to The Beatles, watching Star Trek, and running fast enough to not get my ass kicked.  I was pretty fast.  This was a time in our history when Captain Kirk and Uhura treated America to our first interracial kiss on television.  Captain Kirk's sexual prowess became the stuff of legend as he found himself seemingly drawn to every alien he bumped into.  He soon brought his animal magnetism to the giant screen where it has continued into the newest of the Star Trek franchises.  For an "ugly giant bag of mostly water" he had it all going on with the ladies, or whatever they were.

There's a gender in your brain and a gender in your body. For 99 percent of people, those things are in alignment. For transgender people, they're mismatched. That's all it is. It's not complicated, it's not a neurosis. It's a mix-up. It's a birth defect, like a cleft palate.

-- Chaz Bono

In the latest contribution to the Star Trek films, George Takei is paid homage with his original character, Sulu.  The Sulu in this latest offering reflects George's admitted homosexuality by working a gay "significant other" into the storyline along with showing them as loving parents of a young child.  As Star Trek was, and is, always pushing the envelope of technology and controversy, I can't help but wonder when our, now young, captain will field his first transgender lip lock on the silver screen.  Such is the changing world we live in.

Unlike the fictional perfection of Star Trek's picture of our future, for now the absence of compassion is an unfortunate historical reality of society toward anyone that does not conform to the norm.  The compassion that is supposed to be Christ has certainly not been reflected by the great majority of Christians toward non-conformists, and most Abrahamic religions seem to be onboard with this bigotry.  When a society can't even show compassion to those who do conform to their hypocritical definition of what is normal, how can we expect them to show compassion for anyone else?

"We are all assigned a gender at birth. Sometimes that assignment doesn't match our inner truth, and there needs to be a new place -- a place for self-identification. I was not born a boy, I was assigned boy at birth. Understanding the difference between the two is crucial to our culture and society moving forward in in the way we treat -- and talk about -- transgender individuals ... In today's globally connected and ever-diversifying world, culture is now more fluid and more flexible than ever -- and so too should be our understanding and perception of gender.​"

--Geena Rocero, model

Society wants to pride itself on diversity.  We want to celebrate the cultural differences which make our world such an interesting place to live and, at the same time, shun those we find as beyond the pale when their only crime is a peaceful belief which isn't ours.  I think the newest issue with the LGBT community might not lie with being accepted, but with their own constant attitude of offense.  When it comes to my favorite group, the League of the Perpetually Offended, I think the LGBT community is more offended, more often, than even the atheists.  They certainly seem to have put racial minorities of the League into third place, which probably offends them to no end.  Better them than me.

“It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. It is very hard indeed for a human being to sustain such an 'inner' split - conforming outwardly to one reality, while trying to maintain inwardly the value it denies.”

-- Betty Friedan (1921-2006), writer, feminist, activist

As the spiritual LGBT community struggles to find their place in Christianity, I can't help but feel compassion for their plight.  My compassion stems from my disagreement with Christianity over the Bible being the "Word of God" instead of a collection of religious scripture written by man and "inspired by God."  Regardless of your take of the biblical controversy, I find one truth to be evident and stated, more succinctly than I could, by nineteenth century educator:

"Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind: Catholicism has His secret with His method too much left out of mind; neither has His unerring balance, His intuition, His sweet reasonableness.  But both have hold of a great truth, and get from it a great power.

-- Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), poet, educator, cultural critic

And yet, Mr. Arnold admits in the quote this "great truth" lacks in almost all the best traits these same religious sects endow their much beloved Christ with.  How do mainstream Christians aspire to reflect the truth of Christ in their lives when they cannot even practice that which they preach?  I find it hard to imagine they can even consider swaying LGBT opinion, belief, or sexuality, by ostracizing the entire community and denying them Christ.  Who in God's name do Christians think they are, God?  This is a long standing paradox between what Christian say they believe and what they actually practice.  It is the hypocrisy of faith, and why many find faith so difficult to truly grasp.  I believe what Mr. Arnold is trying to impart is a difference between having faith and grasping the faith you proclaim to have.

Absence of compassion should not be a hallmark of any peaceful, loving, tolerant, spiritual faith.  Even in war, both sides of the conflict should exercise the humanity and compassion for which war is inherently lacking.  A lack of this humanity will ultimately elicit an overwhelming response from those with a moral resolve seeking a final resolution to the death and destruction plaguing their society.  We saw this with the world response to Nazism, and American response to continued Japanese aggression.  In both theaters of conflict the enemy leadership acted with a lack of compassion which required a hammer blow, in kind, in order to bring peace and balance back to the world.

With history documented, how can we as a civilized society not show compassion for the least of us?  How can peaceful, loving, and tolerant religions exercise their belief systems without showing compassion inherent in peace, love, and tolerance?

For many older Americans who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, a lifetime of discrimination has undermined their right to a retirement with dignity.

-- Ted Deutch, Congressman

Until someone shows me a reason to condemn all of Islam for the actions of a few, I will continue to be compassionate.  Until someone shows me that transgender people don't deserve the love of Christ as much, or more, as anyone else, I will continue to be compassionate.  And, as long as people seek a sense of faith, a personal relationship with Christ and God, I will continue to hold the door open to them.  Many may wish to interpret that which is written or spoken; it is much harder to interpret actions which clearly speak for themselves.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.

My Sunday Thought for 09182016: Why?

I first touched on the question of "why," back in October of 2013, with my post, Why Are We Here?

At that time I wrote, "I have come to a point in life where I think I have answered, for my own purposes, who, what, when, and where, of my life.  "How" is a moot point, as it either is or is not.  Yoda would be proud.  I think why it is or is not is much more important.  So, I am left with, 'Why am I?'  This is a question which has occupied me for almost forty-five years."  The question is still with me as I approach my 63rd birthday.  I have a feeling I will approach my 65th with a realization that why I am, is so much less important than the mere fact that, I am.

It's an unsexy, dirty business. It's not rocket science.

-- Richard Kinder

This isn't to say that "why I am" wasn't a question worth answering, it certainly was.  It's just that, in researching answers to many of life's questions we find the answers to be moot.  The question of why we are here isn't a mathematical equation, it isn't calculus.  Our reason for being isn't rocket science, yet we spend a good part of our lives asking "Who am I?" and "What is the meaning of life?"  For me, who I am I was not as important as finding out why I am.  Everyone who reads my work knows I am preoccupied with the question, "Why?"

“Asking ‘why’ is one of the most important strategies children have for connecting with their caregivers and learning about the world around them.”

Dr. Dawn Taylor, Psychologist, Penn State

From the time of our creation God endowed us with freedom of choice.  God made this evident when he warned Adam and Eve about the consequences of eating the forbidden fruit.  We are born without sin, but we are also born with the capacity to sin.  The choice is ours, as are the consequences.  Every choice we make has consequences, from who we elect to public office to the decisions those elected make, the consequences are our own making.  The official may have made a bad decision for us, but we are the ones who elected them.  Everything is a product of choice, and if we feel we didn't make the choice which put us in our poor circumstance, we are still in the circumstance because we have not made the choice to better it.

"The only problem with an opinion is that most people don't ask that key question that they once asked so frequently - “why?” Why do I hold this opinion? Why does it have merit? Why is this the best way?"

Matthew Sanderson, User Experience Developer

The key question which all of us must ask more frequently is, "why?"  We must ask this question before we make any decisions, especially those which may have an impact on our lives or the lives of others.  Since virtually everything we do in our lives has an impact on others or our environment, this means we should be asking it constantly.

If your life is shit and you've been quick to blame others for your circumstance, try getting to the true cause, the root cause, of why you are in the circumstance.  In my position as the Chaplain Program Liaison at a local medical center, I have the weekly delight of addressing folks enrolled in the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder clinic.  Each Sunday we discuss topics which revolve around two themes: "Choices & Consequences," and "Why?"  I choose these because they are so much part of each other; the "why" is generally found to be a consequence of a choice.  It is nigh impossible to find the root cause of our circumstance, our consequence, without asking, "Why?"

What I have found to have great meaning for the folks I discuss this with is an analytical approach called the "5 Whys of Root Cause Analysis."  The "5 Whys" was a technique developed by Sakichi Toyoda for Toyota Motors manufacturing methodologies, and is used to "explore cause-and-effect relationships underlying a particular problem."  The fact that it was developed in Japan evidences, for me, the Zen simplicity of the approach.  A good example is given here, and is the one I use at my meetings:  

You find lubricant on the floor, and leakage is an abnormal state. Now you have two choices – clean it up or ask why. Why is there lubricant on the floor? It leaked from the machine. Why is the machine leaking? Because the seal is damaged. Again, you can simply replace the seal or ask why again. Why is the seal damaged? Because there are metal shavings in the lubricant. Why are there metal shavings in the lubricant? Because the filter on the lubricant pump is damaged. Why is the filter damaged? Because it gets damaged by contaminants falling into the machine.

-- 5 Whys of Root Cause Analysis

I have a feeling that performing a mechanical analysis is, perhaps, a bit more finite than performing an emotional one, but if you continue asking the "why" of each answer, you will ultimately arrive at a conclusion that usually includes you as the ultimate answer.  After trying this technique a few times you will probably realize you can just shorten the process down to, "It's my fault.  I did it.  My bad decision."  The faster you learn to arrive at the obvious and much denied conclusion, the sooner you can begin working to change or mitigate the outcome, or prevent similar poor decisions in future.

But, what if the problem has to do with how you look?  What if the problem goes deeper than dieting, makeup, dress and behavior, things over which we have much control, and has to do with genetics?  What if God made us to be not one of what society defines as the beautiful people?  First of all, why are you listening to society?  Secondly, and I'm probably gonna burn for this, have you ever talked to one of the beautiful people?  I have found very few of them deep enough to carry on an intelligent conversation, especially about anything meaningful, like politics, finance, or religion.  If people can't like you for whom and what you are, you have a choice.  I have found that most non-shallow people have a deeper understanding of why we need to be more than what society expects of us.  Yes, this is why they're referred to as "deep."

If shallow people don't find your body type good looking, then look for non-shallow people. It's not rocket science.

-- Unknown

I wake up every morning, usually too damned early, and thank God I'm on this side of the dirt.  I praise the much needed rain, the warmth of sunshine, or the beauty which is snow in subzero weather.  When I think of my friends who have died too young, my dad having a stroke, my grandparents and other family no longer with us, the question of why I am is so so little consequence compared to the fact that I am.  I have vowed to love and be blessed by those I meet.  I have decided that wallowing in the self-pity of others is as worthless as wallowing in any of my own making.  I have vowed to try and lift them up or, failing that, to leave them behind with instructions of how to follow when they're ready.  I have vowed to live life and be happy in it.  God put us here... let's not waste the gift!

I leave you something to ponder, this Sunday:

Computers and rocket ships are examples of invention, not of understanding... All that is needed to build machines is the knowledge that when one thing happens, another thing happens as a result. It's an accumulation of simple patterns. A dog can learn patterns. There is no “why"; in those examples. We don't understand why electricity travels. We don't know why light travels at a constant speed forever. All we can do is observe and record patterns.

-- Scott Adams

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.

Love - A Second Hand Emotion?

What's love got to do, got to do with it

What's love but a second hand emotion

What's love got to do, got to do with it

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

What's love got to do, got to do with it

What's love but a sweet old fashioned notion

What's love got to do, got to do with it

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

-- Graham Lyle, Terry Britten, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" (1984)

As we move forward through God’s greater scheme, we can forget to love. Maybe "forget" isn't quite right; we tend to take love for granted. We think we love, we say we love, we even go through the motions of making love, but we forget to love, how to love, or to acknowledge love. Many of us forget what it is to truly love. We find ourselves like a paper boat on a lonely sea, constantly trying to stay afloat until we are rescued. For those of us who live our lives alone, perhaps especially for those, we must remember to love as if we were surrounded by others. Life is all about our ability to love, even in the face of those incapable of understanding why. Love isn’t so much about who you're with as it is about who makes you smile when you think of them. Love is, at the same time, selfish and selfless. It accomplishes much while accomplishing nothing. Even in its pain of loss we masochistically relish the warmth and expectation of its return. Love is certainly the cruel mistress of life. For each of us love is something different and, yet, at its root, the same.

Love can be a lifelong relationship with a soulmate, a good friend, whether you're together or apart. There is the love of a spouse, a child, a parent or guardian, and self. There is, also, the unrequited love of someone who, for all your efforts, either does not acknowledge you exist or wants a relationship less than what you would like. This doesn't necessarily mean the love isn't there, it simply means the love is different. It could be that it was love lost, and found; two lives that took different paths and intersected again, years later. It can be love felt and never declared, and it can be that moment before you board a jet for home, feeling the eyes of someone who cares boring through the back of your head and silently pleading for you not to leave; that split second you have when you want to run back into someone's arms, but board the jet, anyway, because it seems the best thing to do at the time. "We'll always have Paris."

Everyone has their own idea of love. We learn love from our parents, from our friends, from media, and mostly from life. Life teaches us the joys and pain of loving others. We learn through trial and error, but mostly through error, what love we are looking for. There is nothing like pain to define what is truly important, and there is nothing like loss to teach the value of something taken for granted.

I asked friends and readers to send me their thoughts on love. These are a few of what they sent:

Love is not only about saying you love, but actually living the act of love. Smile at people you meet showing the love inside of you. Let it radiate through your actions and deeds. God loves all and we can show his love by loving all mankind.  -- JS

The only thing I know, true love is being able to lay your own life down for someone else. To me that's love, and it was shown by Jesus.  -- NW

I believe love is not an emotion but our acts of love. It is a conscious decision every day.  -- CS

I agree with CS, it's a conscious decision because other emotions can overwhelm feelings of love, and focusing on hurt, anger, disillusionment, etc., will kill love if you let it. Except for love for children. That seems to be the most unconditional love we can experience. It's easy to walk away from romantic love unless you always remember the reason you fell in love in the first place , and constantly nurture and grow with each other. It's every day, doing little things with occasional grand gestures.  -- DF

I'm of a different opinion than CS. In my opinion, an act is cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, etc. I can't feel any of those things. Although, I feel dread when I think about those things. We actually feel love. I, personally, don't make a conscious decision to love someone. That may be a character flaw, because I find it easy to love others, only to be disappointed later. When we love a pure, genuine love, we believe that the other party (spouse, friend, etc.) FEELS the same. When we learn they don't, through words, behavior, or what have you, it hurts. We feel it! Perhaps love is the best teacher we know. She teaches us how to let our guards down, that it's okay to be vulnerable, and how to pull up our bootstraps and toughen up when things don't go our way, as a result of doing so... and, by all means, let's do it all over again! She teaches us life's greatest gain, and life's greatest loss... life's greatest pain, and life's purest contentment.  -- LBB

Wow! That's great! So true! I think almost all of us get caught up in the day to day life and not only forget how to love but forget what it is. People take it for granted most definitely. Love is something everyone needs and deserves no matter what. The less you deserve love the more you need it. Right?  -- AHM

Love is such a small word, but such a big topic. Love is the one thing that you never reach your max. You just don't stop loving others even when you find your soulmate. There is an infinite amount. You never even know how much love you can feel until you look at your baby for the first time. Just when you thought you couldn't love anybody more than your spouse, those little eyes of your baby look up at you for the first time.  -- ES

Unrequited love, that love which, at times, can go unspoken for seemingly valid reasons, is evidenced in this exchange which my dear friend, Js, permitted me to use as part of this post. It reflects a young love, felt yet unspoken by both parties who lost contact after high school for over forty years:

Js: Love usually hurts a person. The saying goes we always hurt the ones we love and I've been betrayed by it more times than I'd like to admit to; lots of risks to loving... very painful. Sometimes it's not worth it. So far, for me, it's really never been worth it because I've always been the one hurt.

Me: You say that "sometimes its not worth it." What about the times it is? Tell me about when it IS worth it. Tell me why we spend 40 years of our lives thinking of someone we miss... someone we care about.

Js: That's different because it all started when we were young, can't change that, it just is, and that's a good kind of love - one that can't be broken.

Pay attention to the last sentence of this quote, "That's a good kind of love - one that can't be broken." Maybe, at the end of the day, this is all that is important. If you can spend forty years apart and still feel love for another, if you don't require a license to prove it or a ring to seal it, and regardless of a person's sexual orientation, if your love is "one that can't be broken," isn't that more important than anything else which may arise from the relationship?

In my own life I have loved and lost, but the loss did not diminish the love I feel for them.  The love still exists, but on a different level.  I have even found love that still exists for the mother of my children, even after all she has done to me, and the love of a lost friend found again after forty years.  Love is pliable and ever morphing.  Perhaps we need to recognize that, whatever love morphs into, it is still love.  Maybe it isn't the love we want, but it is still love.  Love does not have to be robust, it simply has to be.  Love is, to a great extent, what we make of it, what we want of it, and all of how we accept it for what it is.

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

-- Franklin P. Jones

What's love got to do with it? What's love got to do with anything? Love can be a second hand emotion. Love can be a third, fourth and fifth hand emotion until you finally get it right. But, love had to start somewhere. I have gambled with loved, and lost, many times and by many definitions. I have learned to regret none of them. They are important to who I was, who I have become, and who I will die being. It is only important that I have loved and am loved. I think it is so very important that we all learn to love, first ourselves and then others. I got this backwards, trying to love others before learning to love myself, and it was harder in the long run to understand life.

Love can be used and abused, beautiful and ugly, soft and hard, defined in many ways, but it will always be love. But you can never truly love another until you learn to love yourself.  Learning to love yourself makes loving others so much more meaningful. Remember, always, regardless of the love you feel, or the love you receive, it is important to always strive to make love "a good kind of love - one that can't be broken."

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

-- Buddha

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.

My Sunday Thought for 9/11/2016: Patriot Day - UA Flight 93

UA Flight 93 Crash Site

The image above should be a stark reminder to all Americans of what it means to be a patriot.  This is the crater and the associated debris field, all that was left to sift through, after a passenger jet hits the ground like a giant lawn dart.  This was UA Flight 93 after passengers, having heard what had occurred just minutes before at the World Trade Center, refused to sit idly by and let their flight become another weapon of mass destruction.  There was a question of whether Flight 93 was shot down by our own fighter jets, or if the passengers succeed in their efforts.    According to one military pilot, sent up that day to prevent more attacks, the fighters in her squadron were sent up unarmed since there had been no time to upload weapons.  Our brave fighter pilots were on their own suicide missions to take out any other non-responsive passenger jets with the only weapon at their disposal. They were sent to kill their fellow Americans in order to save an untold number of other Americans.   Thank God they didn't have to.

 Al-Qaeda terrorists 4, American patriots 40; an expensive win for our nation.

I wrote 9/11 As a Celebration of Life in 2013, several months after I began blogging "The Path."  I followed up in 2014 with September 11, 2001, and I wrote my first post in remembrance of Patriot Day last year, Patriot Day - 9/11.  Where others may forget, daily, the sacrifices made by those who fight and die to secure our safety and freedoms in this country, I make a choice not to.  Does this make me better than others?  No.  Well, maybe it makes me better than those perpetually offended individuals who think it's okay to disrespect the very country giving them the freedom and right to be offended at every little thing, instead of utilizing the legal recourse at their disposal or voting to change it.  I suppose it is easier for some to constantly bitch and complain like whiny little spoiled babies.  But, I digress.

Who were the patriots on September 11, 2001?  Were they the 2,937 people that died in the two successful attacks at the World Trade Center buildings (Twin Towers) and the Pentagon?  Were they the 40 passengers of Flight 93 that willingly went to war onboard their airliner and died preventing an attack on the U.S. Capitol or the White House?  Were they the first responders who kept going back into the buildings to save people until the structure collapsed killing many, and are still dying to this day due to medical issues arising from their selfless actions?  Or, perhaps they were the brave, selfless, fighter pilots who, by the grace of God, did not have to ram their fighters down the throats of a cowardly enemy who continues to use innocent civilians as shields and statements in the heresy of their misdirected faith lorded over by cowardly imams who would no sooner put on a suicide vest than give up their lofty positions of leadership directing these weak minded faithful with false interpretations of their holiest of scripture.

They are heroes all; the victims were martyrs to remind us of those freedoms we take for granted until someone steps in and tries to take them from us; the first responders who daily put boot to ass knowing they may be walking into no win situations where lives, including their own, are on the line; those brave military men and women who went unarmed into the valley of death for the preservation of what we hold dearest, and to send the enemy a message of our own; and certainly the brave men and women of United Airlines Flight 93, who took matters into their own hands to prevent even worse destruction if their own hijackers had succeeded.  These are the heroes of our national pride.  These are the men and women who do not run their mouths concerning the multitude of perpetual imagined offenses, the minutia of our lives when you consider how much more there is to be concerned about.

If I were to pick one of these groups to hold out as an example of American spirit, I would go with the passengers of Flight 93, and here is my reasoning.

Flight 93 were not volunteers or first responders that know their career has risks which they may not survive.  Weren't they victims like all those other innocent civilians which died?  They might have been, except that they chose not to be.  They made a conscious decision that the good of the many outweighed the good of the few.  They chose courage.  They memorial at the crash site says it best:  "The brave men and women who gave their lives to save so many others.  Their courage and love of their country will be a source of strength and comfort to our great nation."

When I see football quarterbacks not standing and saluting the flag during the national anthem before the game, it saddens me at their lack of respect for the flag, the country, and heroes like the passengers of Flight 93.  People disrespecting our flag and country to make a statement are Americans in name only.  They take advantage of the freedom and rights which others have fought and died for.  They are closet cowards, but they are far from being an American patriot.  If you want to see a patriot, look to the medal presentations at the Olympics and find the winner who cries as the flag is raised and the anthem is played.

Patriotism isn't a title; it is a state of mind.  Are you a patriot?  Well, what would you do if you had been on Flight 93?

“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.”

-- John 15:13

Note:  For more information about the crash of Flight 93, I used the following sites in a bit of my research for this post:  Evidence: The Crash of Flight 93, Air Traffic Control Recording-United Airlines Flight 93, and Specialist's Factual Report of Investigation-Digital Flight Data Recorder.  I used many other online references too numerous to list, and mostly for my own interest and edification.  Please feel free to look up the information on these brave passengers, and don't forget to have tissues at the ready.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider another viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, and instructor. He is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path," which offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination.